The Friendship Matchmaker

  We spent lunch working out the characters and plot while Tanya’s mom smiled at us, a dreamy expression on her face.

  It was quite possibly one of the best Saturdays of my year. It felt good to let loose and speak about all kinds of banned topics with Tanya. I made it clear to her though that it was strictly because we were out of school.

  “Always remember different Rules apply at school,” I said, then went on to confide that I wished Ms. Pria would set us weekly creative writing exercises so that we could get more practice.

  Tanya’s mom dropped me off, and I was walking through the door when Dad said, “Hi, honey. What did you do today?”

  “Went to the movies with a friend,” I said automatically.

  I went to bed that night and couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned. It hit me that I no longer saw Tanya as just my client.

  I sat up in bed and punched the air.

  I felt fabulous.

  I wanted to jump up and down and do somersaults. We had so much in common. We clicked like seat belts. Who cares if I juggled my Friendship Matchmaker duties with having a best friend? I’d never been happier.

  That’s when it occurred to me that Emily hadn’t won.

  I’d found Tanya a best friend after all.

  Me.

  RULES FOR FIELD TRIPS

  A school field trip is a chance to put most of the Rules I’ve taught you into practice.

  1. There is a bus trip (see Bus Trip Rules).

  2. There is lunchtime (see Rules on table shapes, smelly food).

  3. There is a teacher shouting out orders (see Rules on interacting with teachers).

  4. There are potential trio situations (see Rules on Friendship Formations).

  5. There are opportunities to talk (study my Rules regarding topics to avoid in conversation).

  6. Everyone gets dressed up (follow my Fashion Rules. No one is going to want to hang around a weirdo at school let alone outside school).

  In summary, field trips can be lots of fun. But it will all depend on the bus ride. Make sure you plan it right so you’re not left sitting alone or ditched by your friends. Your enjoyment of the rest of the field trip depends on it!

  Chapter 20

  I woke on Monday morning desperately excited about my plan. I was going to:

  a) ask Tanya to be my best friend

  b) tell Emily that our competition result was a tie

  c) make an announcement to my clients that I’d be easing up on my Friendship Matchmaker duties.

  From now on all mediation sessions and seminars would take place at recess. After all, a girl needed time with her best friend during lunch.

  But I didn’t get a chance. As soon as we arrived at school Ms. Pria ushered us onto the bus waiting to take us to the aquarium. I asked Tanya to sit next to me and she was thrilled. I noticed Claire and Jemma were deep in conversation while Bethany stood nervously to the side. I was willing to bet she was wondering if they’d get the back row or if she’d be forced to find another seat while they sat together.

  Emily skipped up to them looking excited. She was wearing a white top with pictures of dolphins, sharks, and tropical fish all over it. Her shorts were blue. She had dangling shell earrings on and a bag that said in large print: I’ve Been to the Coral Reef.

  She caught my eye and pointed to her top.

  “In the spirit of our visit to the aquarium,” she said and winked. “Acceptable?”

  I nodded yes, trying to fight back a smile.

  Tanya and I boarded and sat next to each other toward the back. Emily then leaped ahead of everybody and ran to the back row. “These seats are taken!” she hollered as kids tried to shove past her. When Bethany, Claire, and Jemma hopped on, Emily called out to them. Bethany couldn’t have looked more relieved.

  I still had no chance to talk to either Tanya or Emily, because Ms. Pria insisted on working out her lungs.

  “Chris and anybody else who feels inclined to act like a hooligan, just remember I will be issuing back-to-back lunchtime detentions plus a year-long ban on all further field trips, including our school carnival day, if I see or hear any nonsense!”

  She took half the trip to lecture us and the other half to hand out a multiple-choice exercise we had to do when we were at the aquarium.

  I put it in my bag, tucking it under my Manual, which I’d brought with me. I didn’t want to risk leaving it in my desk in case somebody got their hands on it.

  Because there was no time to talk to Tanya or Emily I decided I’d approach them at the aquarium.

  We started out in the reptile section. I was walking along with Emily, reading the information panels and trying to answer our multiple-choice questions. Bethany, Claire, and Jemma were together too, close behind us. Emily was grouped with Omar, Stephanie, and David. I wasn’t sure how she was coping, what with Stephanie’s rambles and Omar’s rhyming. Luckily David was a pretty normal guy when he wasn’t around his basketball (Ms. Pria had made him leave it on the bus).

  Ms. Pria and the two other teachers she’d brought along with her for crowd control were hovering around.

  We were trying to answer a question about the diet of a crocodile. The area was jam-packed with kids from other schools and normal visitors. Tanya squeezed between two people to get close to the information display. I dropped my bag on the floor and stared at the crocodile while I waited for her.

  That’s when I saw them through the glass on the other side of the huge tank.

  My heart skipped a beat.

  My hands started to go clammy.

  Ellie Solomon and Vicky Zevgolis.

  Their eyes locked with mine. To my horror, they started to wave and walk toward me. I couldn’t let Tanya or anybody from school see. My past would be exposed! I raced to the next section and they followed me.

  They planted themselves in my way, cornering me in the amphibian exhibit.

  There was no escape from … my two ex–best friends.

  From kindergarten to fifth grade, we’d been inseparable. If we had to break into pairs for schoolwork, we took turns so nobody was ever left out. We became experts at cutting lunches or chocolate bars into thirds. We always chose round tables. Our parents enrolled us in ballet lessons after school, and we had matching bags and tutus. We finished each other’s sentences. We had the same dreams, whether it was getting the red crayon in kindergarten or finishing the same book series in fourth grade. We were truly the perfect trio. Each enjoying exactly 33.33 percent of the friendship.

  But then Ellie’s family moved to a street near Vicky’s house over spring break, and we returned to school with the percentages truly ruined.

  Slowly but surely I was left out. Ellie and Vicky played together on the weekend. They came to school on Monday referring to conversations I hadn’t been a part of. They weren’t so worried about taking turns for group work. And when Ellie’s mom withdrew her from ballet, Vicky followed immediately. I was no longer enough to make her stay.

  It was the day of our field trip to the zoo that it hit me hard. As we lined up for the bus, I panicked about the seating arrangements. We’d always made sure to get in line first to get the back seat. We’d never failed. But this time they lined up toward the end of the line, even letting others go ahead of them as they spoke about the computer games they’d played at Ellie’s house on Saturday afternoon. By the time we boarded, the backseat was full. Ellie and Vicky headed for a two-seater, and I was left in the aisle, alone, confused, humiliated. All the seats were taken, so I ended up sitting next to the teacher.

  I went home and swore I’d never let myself be put in that situation again. Slowly I started work on my Manual, a do-it-yourself guide to Making and Keeping friends. I tried to make sense of the Rules, understand how the playground worked. I listened to people’s conversations, watched how kids interacted. I became a psychologist and tried to read people’s minds.

  I always thought Ellie and Vicky had ditched me because of something I had done or said. Maybe I
wasn’t cool enough for them anymore. Maybe my conversations were boring or I was wearing the wrong clothes. I was racked with doubt.

  And then the best thing in my life happened.

  Over summer break the local council changed the zoning maps, and Ellie and Vicky moved to another school.

  The first day of sixth grade I came to school a new person. I was going to use my mistakes to help other kids so they’d never have to go through what I did.

  The Friendship Matchmaker was born.

  Chapter 21

  And here were Ellie and Vicky now, crashing my aquarium field trip, bringing back painful memories.

  I felt dizzy and shaken.

  “How are you?!” Ellie squealed.

  Vicky grabbed my arm. “We’ve missed you!”

  For a second my heart skipped for joy. I’d dreamed of a happy reunion so many times. A chance to go back to how we’d been. But when I studied their faces, I realized how fake they were acting and remembered that not once had they called or e-mailed me.

  “I’m great,” I said meekly. “It’s been the best year of school …”

  “Imagine seeing our best friend again,” Vicky cried in a high-pitched voice. “After all this time!”

  Ellie smiled insincerely. “Vicky and I started ballet again. We have so much fun. They put us together in all the concerts. They treat us like we’re twins.”

  Vicky giggled. “Well, that’s not the first time people have said that about us.”

  “Are you still dancing?” Ellie asked, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.

  “No,” I replied, suddenly noticing they were wearing matching friendship bracelets.

  “Remember how much fun the three of us used to have?” Vicky said dreamily. “Every year the teachers used to tell our parents that we couldn’t be separated. Remember that, Lara?”

  That’s when I noticed Emily out of the corner of my eye. She was watching us, listening to every word. Knowing she was seeing all this somehow made it even worse.

  I fought back tears. I wanted to run away.

  “Hey, Lara,” Ellie said. “Remember when we all cried in third grade because they were going to put you in Mr. Lux’s class and keep Ellie and me in with Ms. Hunter? Our parents came to the school and begged them to put us in Mr. Lux’s class with you, and they did!”

  “Yeah,” I said softly. “I remember.”

  They kept on talking.

  “Remember when we worked out that the first letter of our first names nearly spelled love?”

  “Remember when we were all teddy-bear ballerinas at the holiday pageant?”

  “Remember how we used to share our allowance and buy lollipops from the store?”

  I couldn’t take it any longer. “I’ve got to go back to my class,” I said, and rushed off without saying good-bye.

  I wanted to run to the bathroom and cry.

  All of a sudden the aquarium seemed to have emptied out. Kids from our class were the only ones around, and the teachers were nowhere to be seen. But as I passed our group I heard a loud commotion. Chris was holding up a book and reading aloud from it. Some of the kids were roaring with laughter. I couldn’t figure out what was happening.

  That’s when I saw Bethany, her face blotchy with tears. Claire and Jemma were comforting her. Tanya was beside them. She was hunched up, arms folded across her chest. She looked miserable.

  I looked over at Chris. My bag was open at his feet. My body felt like lead as I realized what he was reading: “‘But most of all she doesn’t have anything to talk about. Just smiles or shrugs. Need to fill her head with conversation topics …’ Oh, and then there’s this about Bethany: ‘A real hopeless case and really bordering on being promoted to number three on my Total Loner list, except Tanya’s sniffing habits are freaky and scare people (which is a problem when you need to match a friend to her) and she doesn’t talk (shy people are always hard to match).’ This is hysterical!” He caught sight of me and waved. “Lara, you’re a genius!”

  I wanted a hole to open up under me. Bethany looked over, sniffling and wiping her nose with a crumpled tissue. Claire and Jemma were giving me dirty looks. And then Chris topped it all off.

  “But wait, here’s the best part! Even I get a mention: ‘Note to self: Chris loves picking on Tanya. Need to work out how to get her out of his sights. (But honestly, sometimes you can understand why.)’ Gold!”

  Tanya winced. Our eyes met. Then she ran off, crying.

  I couldn’t move. I was fixed to the spot and having an out-of-body experience at the same time.

  “How could you write such nasty stuff?” Claire spat.

  “We thought you were here to help us,” Jemma said with a glare.

  David, Stephanie, and Kevin looked on. Judging from the expressions on their faces, I guessed Chris had read out loud what I’d written about them too.

  “I … I …” My tongue felt fat and furry. I couldn’t talk. I didn’t even know what I could say in my defense.

  Suddenly Emily stepped up beside me and threw her arm around my shoulder.

  “Don’t any of you dare judge Lara! If you hadn’t noticed, she has put her whole life on hold for you and everybody else at school. Every single kid whining about this person not talking to them, or that person ignoring their e-mails, comes to her for help. It’s any wonder she has time to eat with all the work she has helping you all out!”

  I stared at her in disbelief.

  “None of you can pretend you don’t have those habits she wrote about. Yes, David, I’ve seen you talking to your basketball.”

  David looked embarrassed.

  “As for you, Chris, going through people’s bags is not an act of friendship! Bethany, as much as I love hanging out with you, I’d rather not see your tonsils when you talk to me, and not everybody wants to hear about global warming twenty-four-seven!”

  To my surprise Claire and Jemma started nodding in agreement, although they still had their arms around Bethany.

  “And Stephanie, you need to learn how to count to ten between each sentence. But guess what, everybody? In spite of all this, the only person who stuck up for you and tried to find you happiness at school was Lara! And now you’re turning against her because Chris, who has a brain the size of my thumbnail, wants to stir up trouble. You should know better!”

  “Hey! What did I do?” Chris said, throwing his hands up.

  Emily leaped toward him, grabbed the Manual from his hands, and told him to shut up before she told Ms. Pria he’d tried to climb into the crocodile tank. “And you better believe I’d lie to get you in trouble, and don’t think Ms. Pria wouldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt over you.”

  Chris glared at Emily but didn’t say anything. Then he hurried off before Emily kept her word.

  The strangest thing happened next. David, Stephanie, and Kevin walked up to me.

  “I’m not upset, Lara,” David said.

  “Yeah, me neither,” Kevin added with a shrug.

  “It’s true,” Stephanie said. “You were the only one who truly wanted to help me.”

  I smiled shyly at them. “Still, I’m sorry about what I wrote. It was pretty awful stuff when I think about it now.”

  Their smiles reassured me that all was forgiven. I then walked over to Bethany.

  “Sorry, Bethany,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

  She sniffed and then half smiled. “It’s okay, Lara. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. I can’t help it, though. That’s just who I am. That’s probably why you never found me a friend. I was just too hard.”

  “That was my fault, not yours,” I said. “You’ve got Claire and Jemma now. You’re popular. And you didn’t have to change a thing about yourself. My Rules were wrong. You didn’t need me to be happy.”

  I turned to Emily and gave her a grateful smile. She handed me my bag and Manual.

  Ms. Pria suddenly appeared. “Why are you all dawdling instead of finishing your mul
tiple-choice questions? Come on! We haven’t got all day.”

  The others dispersed, leaving Emily and me in front of Ms. Pria.

  “Can I go to the bathroom?” I asked Ms. Pria.

  “Fine, but you have to go in pairs.”

  I looked at Emily and she nodded.

  Ms. Pria sent us off with a strong warning to return to the group as quickly as possible.

  As I expected, we found Tanya crying in the bathroom. She’d locked herself in one of the stalls.

  “Please open the door, Tanya,” I pleaded. Emily stood next to me, looking worried.

  “Go away,” she said, and hiccuped.

  “I’m an idiot, I know,” I said. “I’m so sorry. Everything I wrote about you was wrong and stupid. It was before I knew you.”

  “But, Lara, you said I don’t have anything to talk about,” Tanya said from behind the stall door.

  “I know, Tanya, and I’m sorry. Remember, this was before I got to know you.”

  “What kind of an excuse is that? You only make horrible assumptions about people when you don’t know them? Isn’t that why you’re a Friendship Matchmaker? To help kids who get picked on and judged?”

  Her words hit me hard, and I lowered my head in shame.

  She opened the door. We took a step back to let her out. Her face was streaked with tears. I felt awful.

  “But even when you got to know me, didn’t you once wonder why I was so different at school from when I was with you?”

  “I … I just thought you were shy at school … with other kids …”

  She sighed. “Remember I told you I was writing a how-to manual as well?”

  I nodded and she continued.

  “It was actually a survival guide.”

  “Surviving what?” Emily asked.

  “Divorce.”

  I couldn’t believe it. I had no idea.