Selected Poems (2006 - 2012)

  I would be like a knight, like a fearless lion-

  Defending and protecting your eagle.

  I would be like a saint, so pure, so faithful.

  No promises would I break-

  For I would know such perfect balance-

  In my soul, and in my character.

  Our love would something blessed and interminable,

  Forever would we love!

  And into forever should our love be!

  None of them will love, as I

  There are more handsome boys,

  Strapping boys, strong boys-

  Who are more handsome than I.

  There are more charming boys,

  Refined boys, delightful boys,

  Who are more charming than I.

  There are more competent boys,

  Wealthier boys, skillful boys,

  Who are more competent than I.

  There are more outgoing boys,

  Friendlier boys, sociable boys,

  Who are more outgoing than I.

  But, none of them will love you in the same spirit-

  And none of them will love you, as I.

  Hand and Hand

  When I see two walking hand and hand,

  an infinite joy comes over me,

  To see that two may know the truth,

  of strength which comes from unity.

  And silently walking alone I think,

  what a bliss that it would be,

  if everyone could share in this,

  a love which knows no boundaries.

  Two friends! Have I, which know true love,

  and they’ve found it in one another,

  O’er the endless sea of time and space,

  they’ve been bound to find each other.

  And now hand in hand they walk along,

  with perfect friendship and camaraderie.

  There’s nothing here which these two part,

  the world’s been brought to harmony.

  So seeing, says I, the world anew,

  And for the first time in accord.

  I’ve finally realized at this proper hour,

  all the world’s problems could be cured.

  For if all men and women could be so arranged,

  two and two, and hand and hand-

  there would be nothing left to fear-

  no strife in woman or man.

  Quiet my soul

  When my soul feels as if love is near,

  It becomes too eager, it wants to jump and run-

  It wants to dance, yes, my God,

  It wants to hold her, to kiss her,

  It wants to tell her “I love you”,

  It wants to plan a future with just us two.

  It wants to make absurd gestures,

  It wants to run off on trips to Europe-

  To Ireland, and to France,

  To hear the seductive language of the French-

  To hear the poetry of the Irish.

  It wants to become a philanthropist, my God,

  And save the tigers.

  It wants to proclaim its undying devotion to her.

  But, I cannot do that anymore,

  I have become too quickly involved-

  in love with the idea of loving,

  To the point that I destroy myself when she,

  So quickly moves on- and I cannot but help,

  To be lost in dreams of her,

  like a man without knowledge.

  Like a man trapped in a swirling sea.

  And my bed is like a swirling sea,

  With the covers all turned over from my tossing and turning-

  And my mind is like a swirling sea,

  With thoughts of her, lying her head on my knee.

  I have met tonight the most wonderful girl-

  She speaks the truth from her soul-

  She speaks of remarkable things, and dangerous things,

  She tells no lie, even when she is being playful.

  I feel for her, and care for her in such a way,

  That I would never take advantage of her-

  like the other boys have done.

  I wouldn’t ever use her, or hurt her in any way-

  and I long to be her knife thrower.

  Boys, who haven’t realized that the most beautiful woman,

  Has come into their lives,

  and gone out of their lives too quickly-

  Boys, who she has loved with all of her heart,

  Who have been too stupid to realize that without her-

  they are nothing.

  My God – That I could have her love-

  it would make life worth living,

  I would hold onto our love like the Christian holds his bible-

  With sacredness, with reverence, for the love we would share.

  I sense in her a sadness too, a great and profound sadness,

  Of all her disappointments- from the coast guard-

  To her encounters with boys- to her want to be touched.

  I too have seen many disappointments,

  From my own stupidity, or my too eager heart-

  To my drunkenness and waywardness-

  But I don’t want to be disappointed again,

  I want to tell her remarkable things, dangerous things,

  My God, I want to somehow inspire her, like she has me.

  However, I will not say

  “I love you”, or “I need you”, or “I want you”-

  Not until she says so first-

  I must be quiet now,

  Must not give myself away too easily-

  I speak ‘quiet’ to my soul-

  I speak ‘quiet’ to my heart.

  A Love So Easily

  I have always wandered alone,

  Worried for my worried mind,

  Chasing distances and making plans,

  Which at some point I either did or did not believe in.

  I have fantasized, while walking at night,

  At the college, or hanging around the bars,

  Of some lover never known,

  Of some night never lived,

  Of some words never shared or spoken.

  I thought long on how it would be,

  If I could find a girl, to be my own.

  Who would want me as dearly, as I want her.

  Someone who would be there through it all-

  Though the future is so full of promise,

  And the present only promises could make.

  I wish so much to fulfill my dreams,

  Of being worthy of such a carefree love-

  A love that would be equally given, as equally received,

  Through art and tenderness and kindness and touch.

  Something eternal and spiritual,

  Something without restrictions or rules.

  I have met a girl who is an artist and a beautiful woman.

  She takes wonderful photographs,

  Where she is always stunning, and always free.

  She speaks so kindly to me,

  And often talks about the future,

  What possibilities there are for us two-

  We two could make our dreams come true!

  Creating art together, and talking softly together,

  Sharing thoughts and ideas, together-

  About faith or about anything else.

  We could speak so easily, we could love so easily.

  I feel within me, an instant desire,

  To express to her everything in my soul-

  But I hold back-

  I don’t want to tell her how often I have thought of her.

  I don’t want her to know how deeply I am in love with her.

  Perhaps this time it will be real,

  Perhaps what I feel could be returned.

  Maybe a companion is so near,

  Maybe this time love will come easily.

  Hour Upon Lonely Hour

  I have waited hour upon lonely hour,

  Thinking of all the gifts I hav
e given,

  to strangers, hoping for something more to be returned.

  I have seen your sad eyes, and your sighs, waiting also.

  I can not tell you, but with so many faltering words,

  how beautiful you are, as an artist, and as a woman.

  I have studied the great philosophers, and read countless books,

  trying to perfect my heart, trying to make myself kind and good-

  but over the years none of them have taught me

  that knowledge which I really yearn to know.

  I want to know what it’s like to love

  and be loved by a beautiful woman.

  So tired am I of unrequited love,

  so tired am I of giving my heart away.

  So tired am I of old men writing endless pages, without poetry.

  My love for you is like the perfection

  of a single red rose

  of my full beating heart

  of a long and passionate kiss.

  Only say ‘yes’

  Only say ‘yes’,

  To my urges and my sex,

  To my desires and my words-

  They are all of them together.

  Do not go away from me,

  Without taking something from me,

  Without telling me something true.

  Do not destroy me,

  With an angry glance,

  Or a hostile word.

  But, write with me,

  And dance with me,

  And sing with me-

  The song of my ever loving joy.

  Say ‘yes’ to my poems and my love-

  And all of us will come together,

  Our two souls will come together,

  Everything all together,

  Intertwined and held together,

  Like our two bodies,

  Together.

  That We know of

  To be lovers, and to touch cheek to cheek,

  With passionate gyrations and thrusts,

  In the night, to converge, and fill with blood-

  With childlike wonder to explore each other,

  To caress and stroke, to kiss and suck,

  Knowing in giving our bodies we give of ourselves,

  Completely and absolutely-

  To the excitement and enthusiasm of our affection.

  To know our flesh hot, and our skin wet.

  Of this, will we never know of.

  To be celibate and chaste, and caring and kind,

  With gestures of sympathy, tears and poems,

  In the night, to talk about everything- knowing nothing,

  With childlike innocence, our quiet speech,

  Learning about each other, enamored of beauty,

  Resenting our flaws, longing for perfection,

  Like holy fools who want what is sacred-

  Knowing that something is sacred here,

  Knowing that something is eternal here,

  In our perfect friendship,

  We will have a love better than love.

  Of this, only will we know of.

  To be married, successful and comfortable,

  With money, finally, after the dust settles,

  In the night, to go to sleep in each others arms,

  Like the privileged do, or the victorious do,

  With a good sleep, and no worries on the clock-

  Loving our place, knowing our place, stuck in our place,

  With children, and open mouths stuffed with food.

  Bound tightly and suffocated, our bodies confined-

  No space to breathe, becoming rocks instead of plants,

  Too many things having been said, with too little said.

  Of this, will we never know of.

  To be artists, failures, deceivers and dreamers,

  With only loneliness and empty time to console ourselves by.

  In the night, to go pacing back and forth,

  Like the unwanted do, like the tormented do,

  Without sleep…the clock tick ticking.

  Never to create offspring,

  but always to create offspring.

  Free and unchained, by marriage or by vows,

  Hungry and poorly fed, but growing all the same.

  We will have our sun and our moon,

  knowing beauty and sacredness.

  To be together as friends,

  To be together as creators,

  Of this, only will we know of.

  My Love is Free

  Don’t worry for me, My love is Free!

  To feel an unbridled and enthusiastic love, that is what I adore.

  To stand here in the dead of night,

  smoking under the moonlight,

  Thinking thoughts of you, and how you fill me up with joy.

  How can I be sorrowful? How could I be love sick then?

  Not when I have such a good companion, such a friend.

  It means so much to me, every moment that we spend together,

  I feel elevated, I feel high, I feel like the world is mine.

  I love our conversations- I love our quiet talks-

  I love everything about being with you.

  There are no limitations to what we could do,

  limitations are an illusion.

  My love for you is without limitations, it is no illusion-

  it does not try to contain- it does not solicit any response.

  It has no rules- it doesn’t want you to obey or to follow it-

  It wants nothing from you,

  it is not owed anything for being there-

  You don’t have to pay it compliments-

  you don’t have to defend yourself against it.

  You don’t have to make promises,

  you don’t have to concern yourself with it,

  My love for you would be there no matter what.

  And it is True, my God, it will not die, not putrefy,

  not become hateful or aggressive-

  it is pure, from my very pulse it flows,

  from my innermost being-

  from my innermost soul.

  When I look at you, I feel nothing but love and adoration-

  and that excites me-

  Because I have never felt that way before-

  not with any other.

  Surely I have written poems before-

  I have claimed to be in love,

  truly it was dishonesty, it was trickery, it was all childish.

  This poem is more important than all of those other poems,

  because I have written it for someone I truly love.

  And because this time, my love is free.

  Her little Pet

  I want to be her pet.

  To have her care for me,

  And I to care for her.

  To have her listen to my flaws,

  My imperfections, my long letters,

  When I am in a dark mood, a curious mood,

  And am not making much sense.

  She will tell me it’s alright,

  That I can tell her anything,

  And she will not forsake me,

  Or leave me here again alone,

  Without a friend in the world.

  I will listen to her dreams,

  Either those of devils or of angels,

  And when she despairs,

  It hurts me too,

  Because I want to help her,

  And be her friend,

  Her protector even,

  If I could be strong enough,

  To help her through the hard times,

  Or the memories that linger in the night,

  And cause our hearts to break.

  I want to be her perfect companion,

  To be tender and affectionate with her,

  Though I am often awkward or shy,

  And she is so free and confident.

  But, I know that she loves me,

  And I do so love her,

  Because of the way she cares for me,

  And the wa
y that I care for her,

  And because she has saved me from darkness,

  And made all things possible again.

  She is inspired by God and nature,

  And wants to change the world.

  With our love, all could be possible,

  We could cause others to be inspired,

  And to try their luck, just like us,

  to come together over us, and through us,

  Or to follow us in pursuing art.

  We will always be perfect companions,

  And I will always be her pet,

  And we will always inspire each other,

  Protect each other, and support each other.

  This is my hope for the future,

  This is what pumps my blood.

  She is the dream that keeps me dreaming

  It is My Grief To Love You

  I will spend the hours thinking of you,

  Listening to music and dreaming-

  Or I will remember our smiles each to each,

  Warming us in spite of the cold night air.

  There is a darkness here, as well as a light,

  Night terrors and brutal thoughts,

  That I love you in spite of.

  It is my grief to love you as I do.

  I will always be here,

  Though many boys will come and go,

  And watching from a distance I will know,

  That their love is not as profound as mine,

  I ache, I give birth, I suffer, I hope.

  And it will give me some small delight,

  That you return to me always.

  It is my grief to love you as I do.

  I will tell you again and again,

  How much I love you.

  And you will say I love you too, as a friend.

  But, what more than friendship is there?

  And what more than love is there?

  I can express more in a poem, than with my lust,

  But it will always hurt me that you have no desire for me,

  It is my grief to love you as I do.

  I will never betray our intimate bond,

  Never hurt you or say something mean.

  It will be all my joy when I am near to you,

  And will be all my misery when you are away.

  I couldn’t even say, what I truly feel,

  For it would go on endlessly,

  My pen cannot decipher it.

  It is my grief to love you as I do.

  Torture my heart

  Give me a love so near, so dear to me,

  Let her come close to me, and make me dream.

  Let her be perfect in every way,

  Free in spirit, lovely in form.

  And then take her away from me-

  Let her fall in love with some other boy.

  This is what is good for me,

  It makes for better poetry,

  It makes for a perfect soul.

  It teaches empathy, teaches kindness,