Cami's Decision

Her secret had spread like wildfire across town. She was the new, hot gossip that everyone was talking about, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. She wished that she could turn back the hands of time to prevent this from happening. This probably wouldn’t have occurred if she hadn’t had all of her private conversations in the girls’ bathroom at school. This definitely wouldn’t be happening if Tammy would’ve kept her mouth shut, but wishing wasn’t going to get her anywhere now. Kaci, Marissa, and River know. The entire Crossroads High knows. And now her mother knows…

  Diane didn’t greet her daughters after arriving home which was unusual for her. She was tired and weary from working. She had worked a double shift at the hospital and then worked on her day off waitressing because the new girl hadn’t showed up.

  She was beyond exhausted and hearing congratulations from one of her co-workers about the new addition to her family wasn’t something that she expected to hear. Cami was supposed to be taking birth control pills so this whole pregnancy rumor couldn’t be true. She knew that she and River were getting really close, and she didn’t want her to get pregnant so the pills were a no brainer. She had asked Cami if she had had sex on past occasions but the answer was always no. This entailed for a serious conversation with her eldest daughter—one that she wasn’t looking forward to.

  Cami observed her mother enter the kitchen. She set two bags with to-go plates of food onto the kitchen table. On a better day, she would’ve scurried to the bags to see what was inside before Kaci came rushing down the stairs but not tonight.

  Her mother didn’t appear cheerful and she hadn’t greeted them when she arrived which struck Cami as odd. Her eyes were red as if she had been crying. That’s when it all hit her.

  She knew.

  She knew that Cami was pregnant. The gossipers had gotten to her before she could. What explaining is there for her to do now? There was no possible way that she could get herself out of this.

  “Mom,” she said.

  Her mother didn’t even turn to face her. She couldn’t because somehow without hearing Cami admit to her that she was pregnant, she knew that it was true.

  Kaci peered into the kitchen and observed her mother and Cami. Her mother’s back was facing Cami, and her sensitive sister looked as if she was running on a ball of emotions that was going to erupt at any moment, and she didn’t want to be around when it happened.

  She hadn’t eaten anything since lunch at school today so she had no choice but to go into the kitchen. She walked inside and looked inside several to-go-plates.

  “Grab a plate and go,” her mother ordered her with her back still facing Cami.

  “No dessert?” Kaci asked, while she continued to look through the plates.

  “Kaci, just grab a plate and go to your room,” the girls’ mother said. She obeyed since she knew that her mother was upset.

  Once she exited the kitchen, Diane sat down at the kitchen table and stared blankly at her eldest daughter. Cami wondered what she was thinking, but the thought made her sick to her stomach. She knew what people thought about pregnant teen girls.

  She stood near the entrance to the kitchen as she watched her mother eagerly watch her. She was mad as hell. Cami could tell just by looking at her.

  Diane wanted to know if Cami really was pregnant and if so, what had happened to her birth control pills. She had many questions on her mind. Why is this happening? Didn’t she take the birth control pills I gave her? Why my daughter? Why Cami?

  “Sit down,” her mother ordered.

  She obeyed not wanting to cause any more trouble.

  “People have been saying things,” she began with her eyes now staring a hole into Cami’s forehead. She lowered her head. She could feel her mother’s eyes on her and it made her very uncomfortable. “I want to know the truth...” She paused before continuing. “Did you have sex with River?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Did you take the birth control pill every day?”

  Tears began to form in her eyes. She knew that this question was coming. “No,” she replied, her voice trembling.

  “Cami, look at me when I’m talking to you,” her mother said, almost yelling. She slowly lifted her head but only to see hurt and anger staring back at her.

  “Are you pregnant?”

  “Yes.”

  Diane was silent for a moment. Cami watched as her mother rested her elbows on the kitchen table and cupped her face with her hands. A tear rolled down her cheek. Cami leaned over the kitchen table and wiped it away with a finger. Despite the way that her mother may have felt about her at the moment, Cami loved her dearly and hated to see her cry. “I can’t believe this,” she heard her mother say. “I gave you birth control pills, and I told you to take them every single day and you still got pregnant.”

  Although she had given her daughter the birth control pills, she was starting to wonder if it had been such a good idea since she was going to be a grandmother. However, if she hadn’t given Cami the pills she probably would’ve still gotten pregnant because she had unprotected sex.

  She recalled having the sex talk with Cami when she was twelve years old shortly before she had begun her period. Then, a few years later she met River. She would arrive home from school with a bright smile on her face, and her mother would wonder who or what could’ve possibly made her so happy. She hadn’t seen her daughter smile that much since her husband had walked out on the family. After some questioning, Cami confessed to her that she had a boyfriend, and then, they had another long sex talk. She was very clear that she didn’t want Cami to have sex at all. So at first, she told her that she didn’t want her to see River anymore but that didn’t work because she continued to see him while Diane was at work. She contacted his mother and filled her in on what was happening and she sided with Diane and told him that he couldn’t see Cami anymore, but the kids continued to see each other. In the end, Diane ended up taking her to the doctor’s office and getting her a prescription for the pills.

  And now Cami was pregnant and she was going to be a grandmother. This was not at all how she’d expected her day to turn out when she’d gotten out of bed this morning.

  Cami remained silent. She just didn’t know what to say to help salvage the situation.

  “Is River the father?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why did you have sex with him?” Cami couldn’t understand why she was asking her this question. She’s the one who gave her the birth control pills so she wouldn’t get pregnant if she and River had sex.

  “Because I loved him.”

  “Did he love you?”

  She lowered her head again. “I don’t know.”

  “Then why did you open your legs to him?”

  She could feel the shame fall upon her once again. “I don’t know, Mom.”

  Tears and silence.

  Diane finally took her hands away from her face and was now looking pass Cami at the wall. “I just don’t get it,” her mother said while shaking her head. “Why didn’t you take them every single day?”

  “I’m so sorry,” Cami said, as her voice quivered.

  “It’s too late for that. We’re struggling to feed three mouths and soon we’ll have one more.” Then suddenly Diane began to sob. Cami felt bad knowing that she had caused all of this. She tried to put her arms around her mother, but she pushed her away.

  “Mom,” she mumbled. Now, she knew that she was in trouble. Her own mother didn’t even want to touch her.

  “I—I don’t want to look at you right now,” she sobbed.

  Cami stood up from her chair and saw Kaci eagerly watching them.

  “She’s upset. She doesn’t know what she’s saying,” Kaci said, as she eyed their tearful mother.

  Cami knew that her little sister was trying to make her feel better but she wasn’t stupid. She knew the truth. She knew that her mother hated her just like Kaci. She was the most hated person in this house.

 
She ran to her bedroom with hot tears running down her cheeks. She slammed her door shut and buried herself beneath the covers in her bed. Why me? Why? She didn’t think that she could handle this. I can’t be having a baby. I can’t handle Mom and Kaci hating me. I can’t handle it. This is just too much for me, she thought.

  Later that night she awoke with the feeling of vomit rising up in her throat. She ran into the bathroom and did the usual. Then she cleaned herself up, took a shower, and packed her bags. She needed to get away for a night or two. She was not wanted.

  As she made her way down the stairs, she could feel someone’s eyes on her. She turned around and saw Kaci slowly making her way towards her. “What are you doing?” she asked, eyeing the duffel bags.

  “Leaving,” Cami replied. She was trying so hard not to cry.

  “Where are you going at this time of night?”

  Cami knew that if she told her where she was going, she would probably follow her, and she didn’t want that to happen. “I’ll be back soon.”

  “How soon is soon?” Her voice sounded so small. Cami almost wanted to turn around and give her a big hug—almost.

  She could feel a lump begin to form in her throat. “I don’t know.”

  “Please, don’t leave,” Kaci begged. She loved Cami and she didn’t want her older sister to leave.

  “I have to. You and Mom need space...”

  “Space from whom?”

  “From the pregnant girl who has ruined your lives. You guys hate me. It’s so obvious.”

  “Mom is just upset, and we don’t hate you.”

  “I’m leaving anyway,” Cami said. She edged towards Kaci and held her close to her body in a tight hug. “I love you, Kaci.” She could feel the knot in her throat get tighter.

  “I love you, too,” she said. Kaci’s arms tightened around her neck. Cami knew that she didn’t want her to leave, but she felt as if this was something that she had to do. She didn’t want her to see the tears that were now forming in her eyes so she pulled away from her.

  A part of her knew that leaving was running away from her problems but she needed this even if it was only temporary. As she reached for her duffel bags, she could feel her heart pounding and breaking. Her eyes left Kaci and looked to the door. She could feel her arm reach out and her hand turn the knob.

  Chilly fall air grazed her face as her feet attempted to temporarily separate herself from her family. Once she was outside, she didn’t turn around to face Kaci because she knew that if she saw her face she wouldn’t make it to her car.

  Chapter 10