Renegade Robot

deliberately broken those rules. They understood the role of the botnik. Corrective measures, understandable. All of this was all right. The machines were all doing their best to keep themselves within the boundaries of their mission.

  "And you?" Bilj was straight to the point.

  "I wanted no purpose," it told him. "Rather, I wanted non-purpose. Non-usage. Existence, is all. I mean you no harm, though I mean you no good.”

  "Sounds all right by me," Bilj commented.

  "Me too," Wyatt said. "But then why are you here?"

  "They won't stop," the robot replied. "Until they have been re-convinced. I don't want to be hunted. I don't want to be known."

  "That cat's out of the bag," Wyatt muttered.

  "I will fix it," the robot repeated, but before Wyatt or Bilj could ask it what precisely it intended to do, there was an even louder banging on the door than before and the sound of a megaphone breaking through saying,

  "Mr. Lorenzo, this is the police. You have exactly one minute to open this door before we will open it for you!"

  Fifteen

  "Oh, no," Wyatt groaned. "What do they want? What am I going to do?"

  "You'd better get the door," Bilj advised. "Unless you want it broken.”

  "I know, I know," Wyatt told him, getting up from his chair. "You'd better go silent, man. We don't need them seeing any words flashing across my arm."

  "Roger," Bilj acknowledged.

  "As for you," Wyatt called back to the renegade robot as he hurried to the front of the house. "Well, I don't know what to tell you."

  The machine did not bother spitting out a reply. Wyatt made it to the door before the next round of pounding began, and opened it, quaking as little as he could. The two policewomen standing on the doorstep seemed abnormally tall, although in reality they were not. Officers Amy Biggs and Germiane Hahn smiled politely.

  "Mr. Lorenzo?" inquired Officer Biggs, but before Wyatt could even answer, the officer had to break eye contact and reach out deftly with her left hand to snatch the collar of Mr. Wonderful, who was attempting to sneak into the house behind her.

  "You stay put," she said, holding him as he tried to wriggle out of his jacket.

  "May we come in, Mr. Lorenzo?" requested Officer Hahn. She had a dazzling smile, which caught Wyatt completely off guard.

  "Of course," Wyatt stammered.

  "I ...," he added, stopping himself because he had no idea what he should say. He reminded himself to talk as little as possible. It seemed like good advice.

  Officer Hahn entered the house, with Officer Biggs following as she deposited Mr. Wonderful on the doorstep, and closed the door behind her. Wyatt had stepped aside as Hahn was already making her way to the kitchen.

  "We've had a report," she mentioned. "It seems some kind of a snake was seen by one of the news cameras. It was sitting on your kitchen table. People seem to think it's important. Can you tell us anything about that, Mr. Lorenzo?"

  "I, um, no," Wyatt started to say. By then all three had reached the kitchen and were all equally startled to see that Mr. Wonderful had someone arrived there before them.

  "How did you get in here?" Officer Biggs asked him.

  "Mr. Lorenzo opened the door," Mr. Wonderful explained. He was seating himself in Wyatt's chair, closely studying the small machine which stood on the table. Wyatt turned towards it and immediately. realized that the bot was not the same bot he had just left there only a minute or so before. It looked very much like it, but differed in subtle ways. Its folds were not flapping but were rather inert. Its eyes were not as bright. Glancing quickly around he noticed too that the various scraps of paper the previous robot had emitted were all missing. There was but one small note, now protruding from the pretender's mouth. Mr. Wonderful made a move to grab it but Officer Biggs was too quick. She slammed her billy stick on the table, barely missing Mr. Wonderful's outstretched fingers.

  "I told you to stay out," Ms. Biggs coldly said.

  Mr. Wonderful's hand retreated and the officer retrieved the note from the tiny bot's hand. She read it aloud.

  "Property of Mister Wonderful". She looked at the slight, seated visitor, who blinked rapidly in surprise.

  "Well, well," said Officer Biggs. "Now who is going to be first to tell me what is going on around here? Mr. Lorenzo?"

  "I don't know anything about it," Wyatt honestly replied.

  "Not true, not true!," exclaimed Mr. Wonderful. "He was on the video just moments ago. He was sitting right where I am sitting now, deep in conversation with, with this thing."

  "Yes, Mr. Lorenzo?" Ms. Biggs leaned toward him. "That much is true. I'm told you were on the tape just a short while ago."

  "I don't know how it got in here," Wyatt said, thinking quickly. "It wasn't here before this wonderful guy showed up earlier today.”

  "Hmm," Officer Biggs pondered. "Curious. Well, Mr. Wonderful? What do you have to say about that?"

  "He lies!" Mr. Wonderful exclaimed. "He saw the thing only yesterday at the lake. He's the chump who let the snake loose. Surely you must know about that.”

  "All I know," Officer Biggs stated, "is that we were sent here to provide some appearance of security after the earthquake and the arrival of all these news brigades. Then these other people started showing up in their p.j.'s. I don't know anything about a snake. Where is this snake?"

  "Right there!" squealed Mr. Wonderful. "The thing! It's the snake.”

  "It doesn't look like a snake," Officer Biggs said, and Officer Hahn nodded in agreement. Wyatt could have hugged them. Finally, he thought, somebody who knows what a snake is.

  "That's what they call it," Mr. Wonderful explained. "It's a biblical analogy".

  "It's not a snake," Officer Hahn, interjected. "I know a lot about snakes. It's kind of my hobby.”

  "That's very nice," snarled Mr. Wonderful. "This particular snake is out to destroy the world, but I suppose you don't care about that.”

  "Don't be snide," Officer Biggs recommended. "You aren't even supposed to be here. So tell me, Mr. Wonderful, why does this thing say it belongs to you?"

  "I don't know," he whimpered, "it's some sort of a trick. It's the devil, you know. And that one," he added, pointing at Wyatt, "He's the Serpent Master. The devil's servant! You should be questioning him, not me. You should be arresting him. Don't let him get away!" he added in a panicked tone.

  The officers turned their attention to Wyatt, who was just standing there, shrugging.

  "I'm not going anywhere," he murmured. "Don't worry about me. It's my house, after all.”

  "I don't like the looks of this," Officer Biggs said, turning back to Mr. Wonderful. "Mr. Lorenzo has been very cooperative, while you, Mr. Wonderful, have disobeyed my direct orders no less than three times already. Plus, you are making no sense whatsoever, and the thing says it belongs to you. I'm inclined to take you downtown, Mr. Wonderful. I think my Captain would like to have a word with you.”

  "Let's call her," Officer Hahn suggested.

  "Good idea," said Officer Biggs. "You do that, okay?"

  Officer Hahn went off into the living room to make the private call. Meanwhile, Officer Biggs stood guard over Mr. Wonderful and the thing, which had not moved or done a thing the whole time they had all been in the kitchen together. Mr. Wonderful noticed this and commented on it.

  "What do you expect it to be doing?" Officer Biggs asked him sardonically. "Destroying the world one kitchen at a time?"

  "Something of that nature," Mr. Wonderful replied dejectedly. He had been hoping for action, hoping to catch the thing in the act, in some act at least, but now here it was like a piece of decorative art, and an ugly one at that. It was certainly the snake, he thought. He had no doubt about it. It looked exactly the same as it had on camera, both at the lake and in this very same room only minutes before. Wyatt stood by the window, holding his breath as if that would help. He wanted desperately to get some kind of message to Bilj, but could not think of a way to say anything out loud that would s
eem innocuous to his visitors yet meaningful to Bilj at the same time. Instead, he stuck with his recent plan to keep his mouth shut. Officer Hahn returned shortly.

  "We're taking them all in," she said. "Lorenzo, Wonderful, and the thing-a-ma-jig too. Captain Powalksi's orders.”

  Sixteen

  Officer Biggs scooped up the fake snake before Mr. Wonderful could grab it, and then scooped him up too with her other hand before he could get away. Wyatt followed Officer Hahn obediently, after first looking around the kitchen one more time to see if he could find any sign of the real renegade robot before he departed. He wondered how the thing had done it, not only gotten away cleanly but left that dummy replica decoy in its place. It was a marvel of modern technology, he had to admit. He wished he could tell Bilj Bjurnjurd about it, but was sticking to his plan with far more commitment than he'd expected from himself. He tried not to worry about what would happen next. A great calm had settled over him from the moment he recognized the switch that had taken place.

  Officer Biggs led the way to the front of the house and probably expected that everything would go smoothly, but from the moment she opened the front door, pandemonium ensued. Right away a troop of Mr. Wonderful's entourage surrounded them and tried to hustle off with their king. They tugged and pulled at Amy Biggs' arm, trying to pry Mr. Wonderful away, but she held them off with tremendous strength, even managing to kick two of them off the doorstep onto the lawn. At the same time, several news crews came rushing up, and soon the officers and their captives were