Reluctant Gods

  “Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.”

  George Santayana

  23

  We sat in the library of our mansion and spent the day perusing the old books and manuscripts. Materials dated back as far as the 1300s with references back to originals from the start of the first millennium. Leyna and I were awestruck.

  “Leyna, let’s take a break from studying and sit on the couch for a while.”

  “I could use one. This is so much to look at.”

  “Have you learned anything today?”

  “Yup, the key points I seem to have gotten are that fear is useless and generally will stop any progress, and anger has no place in the life of a god. The wrathful god idea, the fearing of God concept so popular in religions, is not the way a god should function. It just wouldn’t work. The god would lose all power. How about you?”

  “It seems it’s all an energy balance equation somehow. The fear draws energy away; anger makes it difficult to focus it. And somehow, we’re directly connected to the source of all that energy. It makes some sense to the engineer in me and I think I just need to go with it for now.

  “Raphael said we should take a trip back in time. How about you and I go see what happened that killed you, and what we were like before I cast the spell to have us meet as we have.”

  “Sevi, that sounds like a great idea. I’d love to see how this all started.” Leyna took my arm in her hands ready to go.

  “Okay, I’m going to try to take you there.”

  Then I heard Aysel say, “No try, Sevi. Do!”

  “Okay,” I said to the room as Leyna stood there looking around with her mouth open.

  “Is she always listening in? Isn’t there any privacy around here?”

  “Don’t worry, she won’t bother us.”

  We sat on the couch. The leather creaked as it took our weight. Leyna wrapped her arm through mine and settled in.

  “What’s going to happen? Will I feel anything?”

  “Our bodies are going to stay here on the couch, but our consciousness will be back in the 1400s. This may feel strange to you, but don’t be afraid. You’ll see what you were and what it did to you. We were very close to each other, but your ego was ruling you, not your heart. Feel the moments and experience them from the observer’s viewpoint. You can’t be harmed. You may actually be moved by it. Are you ready? Do you trust me?”

  Leyna looked at me with trepidation and anxiety, but in her heart she trusted me and had to do this, as unbelievable as it seemed to her.

  “Let’s do it.” She kissed me with urgency.

  I took her by the hand and closed my eyes. I shivered as my skin crawled and I felt Leyna shiver next to me. We entered the space of eternity and our bodies collapsed into the couch as our consciousness left this plane.

  “Where are we? Who are these people?” Leyna whispered, as we stood invisible to the others in the large hall of a stone castle.

  It was a cool night. A breeze entered through an opening in the castle wall. A fire blazed in a fireplace, with logs that would take a horse to pull indoors. A series of huge candelabras, lit with fat and wick in each of the fifty or so pots hanging from the outstretched arms, illuminated the hall reasonably enough to see people’s faces at a distance.

  People danced to the beat of large skin drums while strange string instruments howled a harmony of sorts. The band seemed to be a mix of cultures, from the appearance of their attire, skin, and hair.

  I told Leyna what was going on. “This is Sevilen Decarain’s castle in 1437. He was a powerful, rich, and prominent nobleman. He tried valiantly to keep peace amongst the warring countries and was friends with many who tried to do the same. Unfortunately, the various religions caused dispute constantly. This is the evening that sealed your fate from warnings you left unheeded.” I looked into Leyna’s wide, dread-filled eyes.

  “I don’t think I’m going to like this, but I guess I need to see it?”

  I squeezed her shoulders. “Look around and see if you can find us.”

  Leyna scanned the area from our vantage point on the staircase. She looked at the rough stone steps and through the opening in the thick castle walls. She shivered, crossed her arms and moved closer to me for warmth. I pulled her close and whispered in her ear. “You can’t be cold, you don’t have a body. Stop imagining you’re cold and you won’t be.”

  “Really? Keep your arm around me, though, okay?”

  She peered up at the high ceiling, the sconces on the walls, and the “fat-o-loberas” burning over the center of the hall—soot gathering on the ceiling above.

  She focused on the huge fireplace. She saw people drinking wine from wooden, stone, and bronze cups, some with stems and some like mugs. Guests walked about eating stumps of meat, and the men groped the women as they passed by.

  One woman drastically stood out from the others. She carried herself confidently as she measured up each man. Occasionally, the men dared to look at her. Her predatory stare seemed to burn them and they backed off in fear.

  She walked toward us and we saw her appearance better. She wore a flowing, seductive gown that revealed her feminine attributes all too well. Especially in comparison to what the other women wore.

  “Look at her, Sevi, my God. She’s gorgeous, but is she from another time, too? Her clothing doesn’t fit in.”

  I laughed, squeezed Leyna closer and whispered in her ear. “Look closer…you found you. Find me.”

  Leyna put her hand across her mouth as her old self moved close enough to touch. She stood next to a man who seemed to be of high stature in his regal clothing with a dragon emblazoned on the left side of his chest. The gold weaved in his hair glinted.

  We heard her old self speak to him. “You are a friend of Sevilen? I have not seen you here before.”

  “You may have missed me when I was here, but trust that Sevilen and I know each other very well.”

  “Good for you. He does not interest me right now, but you seem quite interesting. The dragon on your chest is attractive—very powerful looking.” She rubbed the palm of her hand against his chest, feeling the dragon.

  “Thank you, kind lady. The dragon is a Christian order meant to protect Europe from the Muslims, though I prefer to try to do so diplomatically.”

  “Christian, Muslim. Religions are all too confusing to me. I like men of action. You seem to be one.”

  She slid her hand down his chest, reached between his legs, and grasped his manhood.

  “Whore! Slut! Witch! What are you?”

  The ancient Sevilen saw the predicament and ran over.

  “Sevi. He looks like you, but with long hair and ancient clothes—so handsome. I love the earrings and the rings, the same rings you wear now.”

  I leaned in and whispered, “Look at Leyna’s pendant.”

  She gasped at seeing the full, unbroken stone as it pulsed in the light. The show continued.

  “Now, Leyna, please, let me introduce you. This is Vlad the Second, the Prince of Walachia and friend to the Turks. He is like me in his wishes for peace and I consider him a friend and ally, as we both are trying to bring peace, not war, to our people.”

  The ancient Leyna looked at the ancient Sevilen with disdain, disregarding the respectful introduction. She only felt the rejection of this male she wanted to overpower. “You have no power over me!”

  “Settle down, my lady. I do not seek to control you, but to inform you. You seem to forget my love for you.”

  “Love, dove, both can be killed with a twist.” Leyna snarled as she demonstrated with both hands.

  “Who’s that?” Leyna whispered as she pointed to a man with long purple robes and a staff with a ruby on top, glowing as if lit from inside. His long hair flowed as he walked briskly toward ancient Leyna and Sevi.

  “I believe he’s the wise one.”

  “Wizard?”

  “Yes. Wise man…teacher…the one who knows things. He probably schooled them bot
h in many things.”

  The wizard stopped before them. “Lord Sevilen, Lady Leyna what a beautiful evening.”

  Ancient Sevilen responded, “Marloque. Good to see you. This is —”

  “Yes, Lord Vlad the second, Prince of Walachia. Be careful, lord. In eleven years hence, in this same month, a regent of Hungary by name of John will put you to death by assassination.”

  Vlad burst into laughter as the wizard stared into his eyes. “Old man. I assure you Hungary is my ally and they would do nothing to harm me any more than my dear friend Sevilen would.”

  The wizard nodded and slowly turned to Leyna. “My lady, change tonight. Now. In this moment. Or, wait over five hundred years for the chance to gain what you are meant to.”

  Their eyes locked as he stood motionless in his warning. He wouldn’t back down from her burning stare. She couldn’t keep eye contact—her eyes flitted about—agitated by her teacher’s stern admonition, which she felt to the bone. She looked at Sevilen then back at the wizard, but he was gone.

  Her voice shook as she tried to cover her fear. “Wretched old man.”

  “Leyna, please, you are dangerously close to exceeding your capacity for the power you wield and wish to apply. Heed his warning. He has taught us all we know.”

  “That old man isn’t needed anymore! He served his purpose. No man refuses me. I am the most beautiful, powerful woman on this earth and always get what I want. Those who disregard me will pay the price. Especially powerful men. I know their true nature.”

  The ancient Leyna pulled from the ancient Sevilen’s grasp and raised her arms. Her translucent gown flowed around her and the wind rose through the openings in the castle.

  The flames from the huge fireplace rushed into the hall causing panic to those near it. The fat-o-loberas swung wildly, dropping hot oil on the dancers. They screamed as it burned them. The music stopped.

  Ancient Leyna, filled with supernatural strength, called out, “Be struck by my power and acquiesce or die! I control you! Take my wrath now!”

  Flicks of blue light shot from her fingertips and the hall roared with her immense energy as she lowered one arm and aimed it at Lord Vlad. At that moment, a surge of energy entered the opening next to us and passed through us. It filled ancient Leyna with its force and her eyes shot open.

  Her body tensed. Eyes rolled back in her head. Smoke rose from her hair. Her skin turned dark. Her body started to fall.

  Sevilen caught her before she hit the floor, but she was already dead. Marloque reappeared and shook his head as he looked at Leyna dead on the floor. He turned to Vlad.

  “Eleven years. Use caution.” He walked off into the crowd and disappeared from view.

  A crowd gathered around Leyna, Sevilen, and Lord Vlad. Sevilen choked out unintelligible words and Leyna’s name as he wept and held her tight to him. A tall regal man walked calmly to his lord’s side and put his hand on Sevilen’s shoulder.

  “Lord Sevilen, please, I will handle this for you. This is too hard for you to do. Please.”

  Sevilen looked up. “I can’t leave her, Alexander.”

  The man helped him to his feet then lifted Leyna up in his arms and carried her away. Sevilen followed him.

  Beside me, Leyna shuddered with tears as she clutched my arm. Ancient Alexander and Sevilen passed through us to take Leyna upstairs.

  “Leyna,” I whispered in Leyna’s ear as I held her close and tried to calm her.

  “That was me and you. What was wrong with me? Why was I so angry and stupid? Was I really that powerful?”

  “You were quite powerful, too powerful for your own good, as you have been recently. Your ego was your driver. Neither Marloque, nor I, could stop you. You had to do it your way, but at least now you have that lesson to learn from.”

  “I’m not that bad. I don’t draw energy and fling it at people.”

  “I see many parallels. Don’t try to defend yourself. Consider this trip as a review and absorb it. Look how you’ve been recently. This is where you were headed before you were shot in Prague. You may not have been able to throw bolts of lightning, but nonetheless, you were ruthless.”

  “I guess I was. I’m glad I got shot now, so you and Raphael could heal me. I can’t imagine being like I was anymore.”

  “Good. Ready to go home? You look tired.”

  Leyna snuggled against my shoulder as we stood, and she wrapped her arms around my waist.

  “How could you love me so much if I was so bad?”

  “I’m not sure, but I did, and I will forever. I could feel my ancient self’s pain when Leyna died.”

  I kissed the top of her head and we returned to present day. Our bodies reanimated on the couch. Leyna grabbed me and kissed me on the lips.

  “Wow. So that was really us, back then?”

  “You bet, at least in this dream, or whatever it is we’re in. It’s all so surreal; I’m still having a hard time with it.”

  “It is pretty strange, but I think we’ll get used to it. I’m looking forward to traveling back there again, to learn more.”

  “Time will take care of it for us, and we have plenty of that, don’t we? Let’s go to dinner. If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up hungry.”