Northanger Abbey (Barnes & Noble Classics)

  They were soon settled in comfortable lodgings in Pulteney-street.l

  It is now expedient to give some description of Mrs. Allen, that the reader may be able to judge, in what manner her actions will hereafter tend to promote the general distress of the work, and how she will, probably, contribute to reduce poor Catherine to all the desperate wretchedness of which a last volume is capable--whether by her imprudence, vulgarity, or jealousy--whether by intercepting her letters, ruining her character,m or turning her out of doors.

  Mrs. Allen was one of that numerous class of females, whose society can raise no other emotion than surprise at there being any men in the world who could like them well enough to marry them. She had neither beauty, genius, accomplishment, nor manner. The air of a gentlewoman, a great deal of quiet, inactive good temper, and a trifling turn of mind, were all that could account for her being the choice of a sensible, intelligent man, like Mr. Allen. In one respect she was admirably fitted to introduce a young lady into public, being as fond of going every where and seeing every thing herself as any young lady could be. Dress was her passion. She had a most harmless delight in being fine;++ and our heroine's entree into life could not take place till after three or four days had been spent in learning what was mostly worn, and her chaperon was provided with a dress of the newest fashion. Catherine too made some purchases herself, and when all these matters were arranged, the important evening came which was to usher her into the Upper Rooms.n Her hair was cut and dressed by the best hand, her clothes put on with care, and both Mrs. Allen and her maid declared she looked quite as she should do. With such encouragement, Catherine hoped at least to pass uncensuredo through the crowd. As for admiration, it was always very welcome when it came, but she did not depend on it.

  Mrs. Allen was so long in dressing, that they did not enter the ball-room till late. The season was full,p the room crowded, and the two ladies squeezed in as well as they could. As for Mr. Allen, he repaired directly to the card-room, and left them to enjoy a mob by themselves. With more care for the safety of her new gown than for the comfort of her protegee, Mrs. Allen made her way through the throng of men by the door, as swiftly as the necessary caution would allow; Catherine, however, kept close at her side, and linked her arm too firmly within her friend's to be torn asunder by any common effort of a struggling assembly. But to her utter amazement she found that to proceed along the room was by no means the way to disengage themselves from the crowd; it seemed rather to increase as they went on, whereas she had imagined that when once fairly within the door, they should easily find seats and be able to watch the dances with perfect convenience. But this was far from being the case, and though by unwearied diligence they gained even the top of the room,q their situation was just the same; they saw nothing of the dancers but the high feathersr of some of the ladies. Still they moved on--something better was yet in view; and by a continued exertion of strength and ingenuity they found themselves at last in the passage behind the highest bench. Here there was something less of crowd than below; and hence Miss Morland had a comprehensive view of all the company beneath her, and of all the dangers of her late passage through them. It was a splendid sight, and she began, for the first time that evening, to feel herself at a ball: she longed to dance, but she had not an acquaintance in the room. Mrs. Allen did all that she could do in such a case by saying very placidly, every now and then, "I wish you could dance, my dear,--I wish you could get a partner." For some time her young friend felt obliged to her for these wishes; but they were repeated so often, and proved so totally ineffectual, that Catherine grew tired at last, and would thank her no more.

  They were not long able, however, to enjoy the repose of the eminence they had so laboriously gained.--Every body was shortly in motion for tea, and they must squeeze out like the rest. Catherine began to feel something of disappointment--she was tired of being continually pressed against by people, the generality of whose faces possessed nothing to interest, and with all of whom she was so wholly unacquainted, that she could not relieve the irksomeness of imprisonment by the exchange of a syllable with any of her fellow captives; and when at last arrived in the tea-room, she felt yet more the awkwardness of having no party to join, no acquaintance to claim, no gentleman to assist them.--They saw nothing of Mr. Allen; and after looking about them in vain for a more eligible situation, were obliged to sit down at the end of a table, at which a large party were already placed, without having any thing to do there, or any body to speak to, except each other.

  Mrs. Allen congratulated herself, as soon as they were seated, on having preserved her gown from injury. "It would have been very shocking to have it torn," said she, "would not it?--It is such a delicate muslin.s--For my part, I have not seen any thing I like so well in the whole room, I assure you."

  "How uncomfortable it is," whispered Catherine, "not to have a single acquaintance here!"

  "Yes, my dear," replied Mrs. Allen, with perfect serenity, "it is very uncomfortable indeed."

  "What shall we do?-The gentlemen and ladies at this table look as if they wondered why we came here--we seem forcing ourselves into their party."

  "Aye, so we do.--That is very disagreeable. I wish we had a large acquaintance here."

  "I wish we had any;--it would be somebody to go to."

  "Very true, my dear; and if we knew anybody, we would join them directly. The Skinners were here last year--I wish they were here now."

  "Had not we better go away as it is?--Here are no tea things for us, you see."

  "No more there are, indeed.--How very provoking! But I think we had better sit still, for one gets so tumbled in such a crowd. How is my head, my dear?--Somebody gave me a push that has hurt it I am afraid."

  "No, indeed, it looks very nice.--But, dear Mrs. Allen, are you sure there is nobody you know in all this multitude of people? I think you must know somebody."

  "I don't, upon my word--I wish I did. I wish I had a large acquaintance here with all my heart, and then I should get you a partner.--I should be so glad to have you dance. There goes a strange-looking woman! What an odd gown she has got on!= How old-fashioned it is! Look at the back."

  After some time they received an offer of tea from one of their neighbours; it was thankfully accepted, and this introduced a light conversation with the gentleman who offered it, which was the only time that any body spoke to them during the evening, till they were discovered and joined by Mr. Allen when the dance was over.

  "Well, Miss Morland," said he, directly, "I hope you have had an agreeable ball."

  "Very agreeable, indeed," she replied, vainly endeavouring to hide a great yawn.

  "I wish she had been able to dance," said his wife, "I wish we could have got a partner for her.--I have been saying how glad I should be if the Skinners were here this winter instead of last; or if the Parrys had come, as they talked of once, she might have danced with George Parry. I am so sorry she has not had a partner!"

  "We shall do better another evening, I hope," was Mr Allen's consolation.

  The company began to disperse when the dancing was over--enough to leave space for the remainder to walk about in some comfort; and now was the time for a heroine, who had not yet played a very distinguished part in the events of the evening, to be noticed and admired. Every five minutes, by removing some of the crowd, gave greater openings for her charms. She was now seen by many young men who had not been near her before. Not one, however, started with rapturous wonder on beholding her, no whisper of eager inquiry ran round the room, nor was she once called a divinity by any body. Yet Catherine was in very good looks, and had the company only seen her three years before, they would now have thought her exceedingly handsome.

  She was looked at, however, and with some admiration; for, in her own hearing, two gentlemen pronounced her to be a pretty girl. Such words had their due effect; she immediately thought the evening pleasanter than she had found it before--her humble vanity was contented--she felt more obliged to the two young
men for this simple praise than a true quality heroine would have been for fifteen sonnets in celebration of her charms, and went to her chair in good humour with every body, and perfectly satisfied with her share of public attention.

  CHAPTER III

  Every morning now brought its regular duties;--shops were to be visited; some new part of the town to be looked at; and the Pump-roomt to be attended, where they paraded up and down for an hour, looking at every body and speaking to no one. The wish of a numerous acquaintance in Bath was still uppermost with Mrs. Allen, and she repeated it after every fresh proof, which every morning brought, of her knowing nobody at all.

  They made their appearance in the Lower Rooms;u and here fortune was more favourable to our heroine. The master of the ceremonies introduced to her a very gentlemanlike young man as a partner;--his name was Tilney. He seemed to be about four or five and twenty, was rather tall, had a pleasing countenance, a very intelligent and lively eye, and, if not quite handsome, was very near it. His addressv was good, and Catherine felt herself in high luck. There was little leisure for speaking while they danced; but when they were seated at tea, she found him as agreeable as she had already given him credit for being. He talked with fluency and spirit--and there was an archnessw and pleasantry in his manner which interested, though it was hardly understood by her. After chatting some time on such matters as naturally arose from the objects around them, he suddenly addressed her with--"I have hitherto been very remiss, madam, in the proper attentions of a partner here; I have not yet asked you how long you have been in Bath; whether you were ever here before; whether you have been at the Upper Rooms, the theatre, and the concert; and how you like the place altogether. I have been very negligent--but are you now at leisure to satisfy me in these particulars? If you are I will begin directly."

  "You need not give yourself that trouble, sir."

  "No trouble, I assure you, madam." Then forming his features into a set smile, and affectedly softening his voice, he added, with a simpering air, "Have you been long in Bath, madam?"

  "About a week, sir," replied Catherine, trying not to laugh.

  "Really!" with affected astonishment.

  "Why should you be surprized, sir?"

  "Why, indeed?" said he, in his natural tone--"but some emotion must appear to be raised by your reply, and surprize is more easily assumed, and not less reasonable than any other.--Now let us go on. Were you never here before, madam?"

  "Never, sir."

  "Indeed! Have you yet honouredx the Upper Rooms?"

  "Yes, sir, I was there last Monday."

  "Have you been to the theatre?"

  "Yes, sir, I was at the play on Tuesday."

  "To the concert?"

  "Yes, sir, on Wednesday."

  "And are you altogether pleased with Bath?"

  "Yes--I like it very well."

  "Now I must give one smirk, and then we may be rational again."

  Catherine turned away her head, not knowing whether she might venture to laugh.

  "I see what you think of me," said he gravely--"I shall make but a poor figure in your journal to-morrow."

  "Yes, I know exactly what you will say: Friday, went to the Lower Rooms; wore my spriggedy muslin robe with blue trimmings--plain black shoes--appeared to much advantage; but was strangely harassed by a queer, half-witted man, who would make me dance with him, and distressed me by his nonsense."

  "Indeed I shall say no such thing."

  "Shall I tell you what you ought to say?"

  "If you please."

  "I danced with a very agreeable young man, introduced by Mr. King;1 had a great deal of conversation with him--seems a most extraordinary genius--hope I may know more of him. That, madam, is what I wish you to say."

  "But, perhaps, I keep no journal." "Perhaps you are not sitting in this room, and I am not sitting by you. These are points in which a doubt is equally possible. Not keep a journal! How are your absent cousins to understand the tenour of your life in Bath without one? How are the civilities and compliments of every day to be related as they ought to be, unless noted down every evening in a journal? How are your various dresses to be remembered, and the particular state of your complexion, and curl of your hair to be described in all their diversities, without having constant recourse to a journal?--My dear madam, I am not so ignorant of young ladies' ways as you wish to believe me; it is this delightful habit of journalizing which largely contributes to form the easy style of writing for which ladies are so generally celebrated. Every body allows that the talent of writing agreeable letters is peculiarly female. Nature may have done something, but I am sure it must be essentially assisted by the practice of keeping a journal."

  "I have sometimes thought," said Catherine, doubtingly, "whether ladies do write so much better letters than gentlemen! That is, I should not think the superiority was always on our side."

  "As far as I have had opportunity of judging, it appears to me that the usual style of letter-writing among women is faultless, except in three particulars."

  "And what are they?"

  "A general deficiency of subject, a total inattention to stops,z and a very frequent ignorance of grammar."

  "Upon my word! I need not have been afraid of disclaiming the compliment. You do not think too highly of us in that way."

  "I should no more lay it down as a general rule that women write better letters than men, than that they sing better duets, or draw better landscapes. In every power, of which taste is the foundation, excellence is pretty fairly divided between the sexes."

  They were interrupted by Mrs. Alien:--"My dear Catherine," said she, "do take this pin out of my sleeve; I am afraid it has torn a hole already; I shall be quite sorry if it has, for this is a favourite gown, though it cost but nine shillings a yard."

  "That is exactly what I should have guessed it, madam," said Mr. Tilney, looking at the muslin.

  "Do you understand muslins, sir?"

  "Particularly well; I always buy my own cravats,aa and am allowed to be an excellent judge; and my sister has often trusted me in the choice of a gown. I bought one for her the other day, and it was pronounced to be a prodigious bargain by every lady who saw it. I gave but five shillings a yard for it, and a true Indian muslin."

  Mrs. Allen was quite struck by his genius. "Men commonly take so little notice of those things," said she. "I can never get Mr. Allen to know one of my gowns from another. You must be a great comfort to your sister, sir."

  "I hope I am, madam."

  "And pray, sir, what do you think of Miss Morland's gown?"

  "It is very pretty, madam," said he, gravely examining it; "but I do not think it will wash well; I am afraid it will fray."

  "How can you," said Catherine, laughing, "be so--?" she had almost said, strange.

  "I am quite of your opinion, sir," replied Mrs. Allen; "and so I told Miss Morland when she bought it."

  "But then you know, madam, muslin always turns to some account or other; Miss Morland will get enough out of it for a handkerchief, or a cap, or a cloak.--Muslin can never be said to be wasted. I have heard my sister say so forty times, when she has been extravagant in buying more than she wanted, or careless in cutting it to pieces."

  "Bath is a charming place, sir; there are so many good shops here. We are sadly off in the country; not but what we have very good shops in Salisbury,ab but it is so far to go;--eight miles is a long way; Mr. Allen says it is nine, measured nine; but I am sure it cannot be more than eight; and it is such a fagac--I come back tired to death. Now here one can step out of doors and get a thing in five minutes."

  Mr. Tilney was polite enough to seem interested in what she said; and she kept him on the subject of muslins till the dancing recommenced. Catherine feared, as she listened to their discourse, that he indulged himself a little too much with the foibles of others.--"What are you thinking of so earnestly?" said he, as they walked back to the ball-room;--"not of your partner, I hope, for, by that shake of the head, your med
itations are not satisfactory."

  Catherine coloured, and said, "I was not thinking of any thing."

  "That is artful and deep, to be sure; but I had rather be told at once that you will not tell me."

  "Well, then, I will not."

  "Thank you; for now we shall soon be acquainted, as I am authorized to tease you on this subject whenever we meet, and nothing in the world advances intimacy so much."

  They danced again; and, when the assembly closed, parted, on the lady's side at least, with a strong inclination for continuing the acquaintance. Whether she thought of him so much, while she drank her warm wine and water, and prepared herself for bed, as to dream of him when there, cannot be ascertained; but I hope it was no more than in a slight slumber, or a morning doze at most; for if it be true, as a celebrated writer has maintained, that no young lady can be justified in falling in love before the gentleman's love is declared,2 it must be very improper that a young lady should dream of a gentleman before the gentleman is first known to have dreamt of her. How proper Mr. Tilney might be as a dreamer or a lover, had not yet perhaps entered Mr. Allen's head, but that he was not objectionable as a common acquaintance for his young charge he was on inquiry satisfied; for he had early in the evening taken pains to know who her partner was, and had been assured of Mr. Tilney's being a clergyman, and of a very respectable family in Gloucestershire.ad

  CHAPTER IV

  With more than usual eagerness did Catherine hasten to the Pump-room the next day, secure within herself of seeing Mr. Tilney there before the morning were over, and ready to meet him with a smile:--but no smile was demanded--Mr. Tilney did not appear. Every creature in Bath, except himself, was to be seen in the room at different periods of the fashionable hours; crowds of people were every moment passing in and out, up the steps and down; people whom nobody cared about, and nobody wanted to see; and he only was absent. "What a delightful place Bath is," said Mrs. Allen, as they sat down near the great clock, after parading the room till they were tired; "and how pleasant it would be if we had any acquaintance here."