Most of All You

  The water from the tap tasted cool and fresh, and after downing a whole glass, my diaphragm relaxed. I put the glass in the dishwasher and started heading toward my room. As I glanced in the living room, something on the mantel caught my attention, and I walked toward it. Next to a plant sat a small marble sparrow. I ran a finger lightly over it, tilting my head as I took in the fine details, the feathery wings, the small eyes that somehow managed to be soulful, the beak open as if it were singing.

  I heard a creak from the floor behind me and whirled around. Gabriel was standing there, having just spotted me as well, his eyes wide with surprise.

  He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.

  I swallowed heavily, my mouth going dry as I took in the masculine beauty of his practically naked body. He was … divine. That was the word that immediately came to mind. Divine. Angelic. Godly.

  My gaze soaked in his strong, broad shoulders, the tight, lean muscles of his chest, the taut ripples of his stomach. As if my eyes were drawn to him like a magnet, they moved down his chest to his muscled thighs, his well-formed calves and then back up to his boxers, where the outline of his male anatomy was just barely visible against the thin material.

  My core clenched, wetness pooling between my thighs. I blinked, completely unaccustomed to this kind of reaction when it came to a man’s body. I wanted to simultaneously run away and step toward him, to reach out and trail a finger down his chest the way I’d just run a finger over the tiny stone bird.

  “My father made that.”

  “W-what?” God, my voice sounded too breathy, too stunned.

  “The sparrow.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest, obviously self-conscious about his state of undress. He gave a quick nod downward. “Sorry, I didn’t know you’d be up.”

  Again, my eyes moved to his bare chest. There was a sparse trail of hair under his belly button leading into the waistband of his boxers. My eyes leapt back up to his, and I practically gulped, sure he had heard it when his eyebrows twitched slightly.

  I turned my head, my heart beating so loudly in my own ears I was sure he could hear that, too, even from where he stood. “It’s only fair, I suppose,” I murmured.

  “What’s that?”

  “Now we’ve both seen each other half-naked.”

  Gabriel tilted his head, assessing me in some mysterious way. He suddenly turned and walked back toward his room. I stood rooted to the spot, confused, when he returned just as quickly as he’d left, pulling a T-shirt over his head. He walked toward me, coming to stand directly in front of where I stood. His expression was slightly shy, slightly teasing. “I hope … that if we see each other naked again, it won’t be a job, or an accident. It will be because we both want it, and because it means something.”

  What?

  Visions swirled through my mind, unbidden: tangled limbs and twisted sheets. Heat filled my veins, blood pumping between my legs. It was too much. It was … out of my control and it scared me. I didn’t want to think of Gabriel that way, couldn’t think of Gabriel that way. In truth, had never thought of any man that way. “Mean something?” My voice was a mere whisper.

  He nodded, his expression going serious, his eyes filled with sudden gravity. His hand slowly moved up to my hair, and he brushed a piece back from my face. His hand lingered, his knuckle brushing gently down my cheekbone. My breath hitched at the subtle touch. His full lips parted slightly, those angel eyes moving over my features as if he was memorizing me, memorizing the moment. I was spellbound, caught once again in his gaze. No one had ever looked at me the way Gabriel was right then, not in all my life.

  “Yes.” It was all he said, leaving me to try to comprehend his meaning. But of course getting naked always meant something. A bribe, a paycheck, a coercion, a means to an end … only I knew very well Gabriel didn’t mean any of those things, and it was impossible to convince myself he could. I already knew better. And I didn’t want to think about what getting naked would mean to Gabriel because the very idea filled me with terror and an aching, needy want. But mostly terror.

  I turned back to the sparrow, a jerky movement as I pivoted on my crutches. “Y-your father, he was a stone carver, too?”

  “Eloise.”

  I clenched my eyes shut, refusing to turn my face back to his. “He was very good.”

  Gabriel let out a very small sigh. I didn’t know if I had imagined disappointment in it or not. “Yes, he was very good.” His hand brushed my bare shoulder as he reached past me to pick up the sparrow. His touch left a blaze of heat on that small patch of skin, and I wanted to rub it away but I didn’t. Couldn’t. I turned back to find him studying the small bird. He had a smile on his lips. “When I was eight, I went away to summer camp. I was nervous to sleep away from my family. There was a tree right outside my bedroom window, and sparrows would perch in it and sing. My dad carved this guy so I could bring one of the sparrows along. So I’d have a little piece of home with me—a little token of comfort.”

  I watched him as he spoke, a wistful happiness in his expression, and I wondered what it’d be like to have memories that made you feel like that. Memories that brought happiness instead of fear and loneliness and sorrow. And I couldn’t help wondering at the depths of Gabriel’s despair when he’d finally made it home after all those years of being locked in a dark, lonely basement, only to experience the loss of that happiness all over again. “He sounds like such a good man,” I whispered.

  His eyes met mine. “Yeah, he was the best.” The stark love in his expression when he spoke of his father jolted something inside me, and for a breath of a moment I found myself afraid for him—for his vulnerability and pure heart. Afraid of how the world would hurt him. But that was ludicrous. He’d already been hurt—in the most unfathomable way possible. So how did he retain that gentleness? The shy tenderness? How did he still wear his heart on his sleeve the way he did? And why would he want to? I couldn’t begin to understand.

  Silence lingered between us, clunky and awkward as if we were both waiting for the other one to speak. Finally, I nodded. “Well, good night, Gabriel.” I started to turn.

  He took a step forward. “Aren’t you hungry? You missed dinner. I could make you something.”

  I shook my head. “No, thank you. I’m just … extra tired today.” I turned. I didn’t really feel tired. What I felt was confused and scared, and most of all, deeply worried that I’d begun to fall in love with Gabriel. Oh, Ellie, you fool. You stupid fool.

  That night I didn’t dream about dark corridors that grew gradually smaller. Instead I dreamed about moonlight on bare skin, hands that caressed, a mouth that explored all the secret places of my body, and angel eyes in the dark. I woke heated and panting, a cry of pleasure on my lips, reaching for someone who wasn’t there.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Don’t stop yourself from dreaming. Dreams are what keep our hearts alive.

  Lemon Fair, the Queen of Meringue

  ELLIE

  I slept in the next morning. I’d tossed and turned all night, unable to find sleep after my erotic dreams, and I simply couldn’t drag myself out of bed at sunrise. When I finally did limp out of my room after a quick shower, I turned in the direction of the garage, where I could hear Gabriel working. “Good morning.”

  He looked over his shoulder, his smile immediate. “Good morning.”

  I walked slowly to the table where William sat, feeling just a little bit uncomfortable, wondering if Gabriel was thinking about what had happened the night before, wondering if it showed on my face that I’d spent the night dreaming about him. Could he tell that I felt extra vulnerable and slightly confused, and that I was so aware of him that my cheeks were flushed? And yet underlying the awkwardness, there was a strange sort of excitement that I didn’t know how to categorize. Did he know? Gabriel’s expression didn’t tell me anything, and so my eyes moved to William. “He has ears.” I tilted from one side of the statue to the other as I took in the perfect littl
e shells.

  Gabriel chuckled. “And eyebrows. I need to go to my studio at the quarry to get a few things to finish him. Do you feel up to coming with me?”

  “The quarry. Oh, uh, okay. Sure.”

  Gabriel smiled. “Let me just grab my keys. It’s literally a three-minute drive from here. We can have coffee and breakfast when we get home?”

  I nodded and when Gabriel went back inside, I ran a hand over William’s rough head, my lips tilting up as I traced a finger over one of his still-new ears. He seemed like a little miracle to me. I still couldn’t believe he’d been created as if from nothing at all. And yet here he was. “Sweet little man,” I murmured, laughing softly at myself, feeling silly.

  I straightened up, pulling my hand back when I heard Gabriel approaching the garage. A few minutes later and we were turning around in the driveway, headed toward the road.

  When Gabriel had helped me up into the cab, he didn’t seem stiff, which made me remember the first time he’d helped me out of the truck two weeks before. I thought about all the small touches, and the way he seemed to feel more confident around me by the day. Maybe I really was providing him some therapy, though it wasn’t purposeful. I liked the idea of that; it made me feel a little less useless, a little less … indebted to him.

  A couple of minutes later we pulled off the highway into a parking lot with a large sign that read, dalton morgan quarry. Gabriel pulled into a spot directly in front of a commercial building. The area was heavily wooded to the right of and behind the shop, to the left there was another smaller building, and beyond that, I could see a glimpse of a large canyon, which must be the quarry.

  Gabriel reached up and grabbed my crutches from behind the seat, leaning them against the truck and then taking my hand as I stepped down. The air had turned cooler in the last few weeks as fall swept in, but the sun was warm on my skin as Gabriel led me away from the front door of what looked like a showroom and offices and down a side path. In the distance, I could hear the hum of machinery and the shouts of men working in the quarry. Their voices echoed and carried.

  Gabriel pulled a door open on the other side of the shop, and I followed him inside to a wide-open space with several tables around the perimeter of the room. There was a large window on the back wall that had a view of the trees beyond.

  I walked slowly around, looking at carved pieces here and there, a few on the tables, some leaning against the walls, and others on a large industrial set of shelves. Some pieces were half-done, and others looked complete. I was speechless as I studied them, swallowing heavily as my eyes were pulled from one to the next. Gabriel was … my God, I hadn’t even realized the depth of his talent.

  I stopped in front of a flat piece of rock with the face of a boy, eyes closed, emerging from the middle as if he were pushing through the hard barrier, desperate to reveal himself. It looked like a young Gabriel, and I wondered if it was a sort of self-portrait. Something about it made my throat feel clogged. I ran a finger delicately over the boy’s cheek and then moved on, looking at a small dog with only one ear, and a rose that looked as if the stem had broken off.

  “Most of these are things I did when I was younger … still learning,” Gabriel said from beside me, and I startled slightly, having almost forgotten he was there. I glanced at him, one hip leaning against a table, his hands in his jean pockets as he watched me look at the things he’d created.

  “They’re beautiful.” Wonderful. Amazing. Impossibly magical. “You’re …” I almost told him he was beautiful, too, but stopped myself, the words left dangling in the air. I felt sure he knew exactly what I’d been about to say. You’re beautiful. Examining the things that spoke of Gabriel’s incredible talent made me feel brittle, vaguely ridiculous. Made me wonder again what this man saw in me and why. He possessed the ability to bring forth life from rock, to summon beauty from stone, and I … I took my clothes off for men and let them watch my tits bounce. Gabriel was a brilliant artist and I was a disgusting, talentless joke.

  I turned, obviously startling Gabriel, who looked suddenly surprised, moving away from the table and standing to his full height. “Did you get what you need?” My voice sounded cold, and I grimaced inside.

  Gabriel tilted his head, looking at me thoughtfully before his lips tilted up in a smile. “Yeah, I’ve chipped away at William enough. It’s time to start smoothing him out now.”

  “Smoothing him …”

  “Yes, eventually he’ll look like this.” He picked up the dog, and I saw that although he was missing an ear, he was completely smooth whereas William still showed all the rough spots where he’d been chipped and chiseled, the nicks and grooves of his creation.

  “Oh, okay. Ready to go?”

  “Yeah. Come with me and I’ll show you the shop real quick. I’d take you to the quarry, but the walking trail is too steep for crutches. We could take the road and drive, but I’d rather show you when you can stand right at the edge.” He smiled. “You get a better idea of how massive it is that way.”

  Gabriel locked up his shop, picking up a canvas bag he must have left by the door while I was looking around. I followed him back around to the front of the shop. A bell jingled when he pushed the door open and he held it for me as I limped in after him. Classical music played softly through speakers somewhere in the walls, and there was a fountain to my left that had water cascading down a pane of glass, contributing even further to the relaxing atmosphere.

  The whole interior was done in stone from the floor to the walls, and tall counters with granite tops held small samples and catalogues. A couple sat in stools at one of the counters, arguing softly about two different samples.

  There were doors on the wall to my right that must lead to offices. Just as I had the thought, one of the doors opened, and Dominic walked out wearing khakis and a button-down shirt and tie. His expression, first one of casual ease, morphed into distaste when he saw me. He gave me one short, quick nod. I fidgeted on my crutches, feeling even more ridiculous than I had in Gabriel’s studio. Feeling damaged—worthless—I had nothing to combat Dominic’s blatant dislike of me.

  The phone rang, and Gabriel reached over the counter and grabbed it, nodding at Dominic in greeting. “Dalton Morgan Quarry.” He listened for a few seconds as I attempted to look everywhere except at Dominic as Gabriel told whoever was calling that they’d be open until five and it was best to make an appointment.

  The bell over the door rang again, and the man I’d met earlier in the week, George, walked in, a kind smile on his face when he saw Gabriel and me.

  “Okay, let me write that down …” Gabriel walked around to the front of the desk and grabbed a pen, then spoke into the phone again as I said hello to George. Gabriel hung up and walked back around the desk.

  “I see you’re showing Ellie around.”

  Gabriel smiled and leaned against the counter in that way of his I’d come to know—so casually masculine. “Yup. I needed some supplies to finish up the cherub for the French museum. I should have him mostly done in the next few days.”

  George chuckled. “Him.”

  My heart felt heavy at the mention of William being almost completed. Then he’d be shipped away. Gone. Get a grip, Ellie. I fidgeted on my crutches again. A look of concern came over Gabriel’s face, and he moved to my side. “I think it’s been enough of an outing for today.”

  Dominic made a sound of disgust in his throat and rolled his eyes. I blushed with humiliation, moving away from Gabriel. “I’m fine,” I murmured, trying to stand as straight as possible without stressing my rib cage.

  George’s eyes moved slowly from Dominic to me and back to Dominic, his lips pursing and his forehead furrowing. When he looked back to me again, his forehead smoothed and he smiled before saying, “I gotta get back to the quarry anyway. But I’ll see you later at dinner?”

  “Dinner?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Gabriel interjected. “Chloe is going to make dinner for all of us. Insisted on it, actually. S
he’s sort of … enthusiastic.” He chuckled but there was warmth in his eyes.

  I looked away and nodded. “Then yes, I’ll see you all at dinner.” Dominic shot me one last disapproving look before Gabriel led me from the building, helping me up into the truck and driving home.

  Home.

  No, Ellie. Don’t start thinking of Gabriel’s home as your own. That would be very, very stupid. Don’t do it.

  And yet I suspected I already had.

  * * *

  Chloe and Gabriel spent another several hours together in the living room as I tried to keep myself occupied in my room.

  I called the shop about my car and was told it was ready to be picked up. Ricky had heard about me being in the hospital and generously offered to keep it stored there until I could get over to pay for it, which was a relief considering at the moment, I didn’t have a dollar to my name. It wasn’t as if I’d be able to drive for a while anyway.

  I called my landlady and explained my circumstances, and though she seemed annoyed, she agreed to give me an extension on paying my rent. I had another month and then I’d owe her two months’ worth. I sighed, having no idea how I’d come up with it, but deciding to cross that bridge when I came to it. I was used to juggling financially—I’d been seemingly doing it all my life.

  I still hadn’t called Rodney to find out the state of my job, but that could be put off for another day. He was well aware of my circumstances. Not that I’d received as much as a get-well card from him. He was probably pissed that I’d inconvenienced business by getting beat up in his parking lot and causing the police and local media to swarm the building. If there was anything men who frequented strip clubs disliked, it was a bright light and a news camera being turned their way.