Destroying the Wrong

  “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Tears started pooling in her eyes. I brought her in for another hug even though my wet hair was probably cold against her cheek.

  I whispered in her ear, “I'm fine. Really. I just froze up and now I feel stupid, but physically, I'm totally fine.” I pulled back and wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. She smiled at me, but the creases in her forehead told me she was still worried.

  “I should probably get dressed. Why don't you grab a cup of coffee and meet me in my room?”

  She nodded and I handed her my empty cup from the table.

  I looked at myself in the mirror before getting dressed and didn't notice any marks or bruises, thank goodness. Walt wasn't even strong enough to bruise me and I still couldn't stop him? Ugh! I made a mental note to talk to Matt about asking Scott if he could start me on an exercise program. Maybe not a lot of cardio, but I needed to be strong enough to at least throw a guy off me.

  My hair was still somewhat damp, so I threw it up in a bun. Some of the layers were too short and fell back around my face. It wasn’t like anyone besides Alissa and my mom were going to see me today.

  Alissa strode into my room, set the coffee cups down on my desk, and pitched backward onto my bed to look up at the ceiling.

  “Feel free to sleep. I know we didn’t get any around here last night.”

  “Yeah, right. I can’t stop thinking about how one night can change things. Everything.”

  “Did you see Dillon before you came over or was he still sleeping?”

  Alissa lifted her head up and looked at me like I was crazy. “Kat, he's still at the police station. Didn’t anyone tell you what has been happening?”

  “No, they just kept asking me questions and checking me for things. It was really embarrassing. Why is he still at the station? I would think Walt would be there, not him.”

  “Walt is still in the hospital, unresponsive as of this morning, and they're holding Dillon,” she said, her face turning flushed in anger.

  I wasn't quite sure what to say to that, having a hard time processing all of this new information. “How badly did Dillon hurt him?” My muscles trembled as I thought about how much trouble Dillon could be in.

  Alissa shrugged. “I don't know,” she sighed.

  “Should I go down to the station and talk to them again? Maybe if I explain what happened, they'll let Dillon go?” I was standing in the middle of the room and Alissa jumped off the bed to give me a hug.

  “I don't think that would do any good, Kat. We just have to wait for Walt to wake up. Trust me, I asked my parents about a million times what I could do and they didn't have any suggestions either. Besides, shouldn't you be concentrating on yourself right now?”

  “Unless you have a way to make me feel less stupid or any less guilty about Dillon, I really don't know where to even start.” We both plopped down on my bed, lying side-by-side. I reached for Alissa's hand and we both held on in silence.

  ~*~

  We had fallen asleep but woke up when my mom came in to tell us Alissa's mom was looking for her.

  “It’d better be good news.” Alissa rolled off my bed and onto the floor, stretching.

  “Mom, what time is it?” I asked, too lazy to look at my phone.

  “A little after one. Alissa, make sure you call your mom. She sounded anxious.” Mom walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before she left the room.

  Alissa called her mom and I tried to listen in but couldn't really make out what was being said. She kept a straight face throughout the conversation and I couldn’t tell if that was good or bad.

  “Okay, I'll be home soon. Love you, too.” She hung up and tucked her phone into her back pocket.

  “Well?” I tried to keep my rising anxiety in check.

  “Dillon is being released. Walt woke up and they're keeping him at the hospital for observation. Something about his brain swelling? Walt's family wants to press charges, but I don't understand all the legal crap, so I'll let my parents worry about that part.” She sounded annoyed, but I felt relieved Dillon was being released.

  “I'm so glad Dillon gets to go home now, and I'm glad Walt isn't dead, but…” I could only shrug. What nice things could I possibly say about Walt? “Wait, you haven't even mentioned Matt. How's he doing with all of this?”

  “Who cares? He actually went to the hospital to see Walt and then didn't call me, blaming Scott for what happened.”

  “What does Scott have to do with any of this?” I didn't remember much after I ran into Alissa's arms. I was too embarrassed to hang around and make sure everyone else was okay.

  “I'm not sure, but I think Matt just used him as an excuse for his actions and also Walt's. I was too mad at him when he tried to talk to me earlier to care what he had to say. I really am sick of his shit.” Alissa tugged hard on her bootlaces, her shoulders going tight.

  “Sometime soon you're going to have to explain to me what is going on with Matt. You don't seem into him at all anymore.”

  “He's changed. I need space and he can't seem to give it to me.”

  “Are you sure it isn't you that's changed?” I said that with my soothing voice so she wouldn't think I was attacking her.

  “Maybe I have, but that doesn't mean he should be smothering me!” She walked out of my room to the front door, obviously angry. I followed and grabbed her arm before she could leave.

  “I didn't mean to upset you. I love you, don't forget that. But is there something going on between you and Scott?”

  Alissa put on her jacket and reached for the door. “There’s nothing going on. I'll call you when Dillon gets home and I know more. Okay?”

  “Give me a hug before you go!” I demanded. She rolled her eyes but gave me what I asked for. “Please tell Dillon I'm so sorry for what happened.”

  “I will. Love you too, Kat.”

  ~*~

  “Are you ready to go to your appointment?” My mom peeked her head in my bedroom, showing me the time on her cell phone.

  “Why do I have to do this again?”

  “Because it’ll make your mother very happy. And because it’ll be good for you,” she replied.

  After the Walt incident, my mom let me have some time before insisting I go to a therapist. She thought it would be good for me to have someone to talk to about life and what I’d gone through. I was skeptical.

  The therapist’s office was on my bus route but mom insisted she go with me to the first appointment.

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Horne, you can’t be in the room during her session,” the therapist told her as I was directed into the room.

  I looked back at her, shrugging because I didn’t really want her in the room anyway.

  “Please, have a seat, Katherine.”

  I sat down across from her. Her office had a desk and two oversized chairs. There was some scent that I couldn’t identify but it was pleasant.

  “For our first session, I would like to invite you to speak about whatever is on your mind,” she said, crossing her left leg over her right.

  She seemed very professional but I couldn’t take her seriously. I didn’t want to talk to a stranger about anything. “What would you like to know?”

  “Whatever is on your mind, Katherine.”

  “My best friend, Alissa, is seeing this guy, Matt. But then there’s this other guy, Scott, that she talks to on the side. He owns the gym she goes to and I’m convinced there’s something going on between them but she won’t admit to it.”

  “Why do you think she won’t open up about it to you?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. We used to tell each other everything.”

  “Have you shared with her how you feel regarding Walt?”

  Just his name made me cringe. “No. I don’t like to talk about it.”

  She jotted something down on her notepad. “Why?”

  “Because it’s my problem, no one else’s. I just want to forget about it.”

  “Ma
ybe she feels like you have a lot already on your plate and doesn’t want to give you something else to concern yourself with?” she asked, writing on her notepad.

  “It’s different.”

  “Different how, Katherine?”

  “My experience was physical. I felt sore after it happened but once that went away, there’s nothing else to deal with. What she’s going through is emotion, I assume.”

  “You don’t feel like you have anything emotional to deal with?”

  “No.”

  “Are you currently in a relationship?”

  “No, but there’s this guy, Dillion, who is Alissa’s brother. I really like him.”

  “Do you feel awkward when he touches you? Even on the hand?”

  “No, why would I?” I asked.

  “Katherine, someone hurt you. It’s perfectly natural to become uncomfortable around other men. Memories can be a very powerful thing, even when you’re not aware of them.”

  “Well, since I don’t have memories about what happened aside from feeling stupid and angry that people I love were hurt, that won’t be an issue,” I said. I wanted to walk out. She didn’t know what she was talking about.

  “Why do you feel angry with yourself?”

  “Because I walked back in that room with him. Because Dillon had to defend me and he got in trouble for it. Because my mom cried herself to sleep all because of my bad decision. Because I froze up and couldn’t fight him off.” Tears began to pool in my eyes. I hadn’t cried about it in a long time. I sat in the chair, crying for what felt like forever. My therapist handed me tissues but she continued writing on her notepad. She asked me a couple more questions but I didn’t want to answer.

  “We’ll continue with this next week, Katherine,” she said before walking me to the front.

  My mom put her arm around me and we walked to the car.

  “Time heals everything, Kat. We’ll get through this together, okay?”

  “I love you, Mom.”

  ~*~

  Christmas Eve tradition had always included going over to Alissa's house for dinner with her family. We all opened one present, ate until we were stuffed and then watched whatever Christmas show was on. This year, I was nervous because I hadn't seen Dillon since the party. Alissa said he wasn't mad at me at all, but I was having a hard time figuring out how to thank him for stopping Walt.

  My mom had taken the last week off from work because of what happened, so Alissa's mom used it as a good excuse for the two of them to spend time together. Alissa's mom was over at our apartment almost every day and they went shopping or out to eat while Alissa stayed with me. Alissa hadn’t talked to Matt yet and I was beginning to think she was using what happened as an excuse to push him even further away. Actually, I was positive that was what she was doing. She had not been back to the gym but talked to Scott on a daily basis.

  Mom and I walked up to the porch and I was in awe at how beautiful the house looked. The blue lights flashed all around and reflected off the silver stars hanging from the porch ceiling. I could smell the fire burning from inside and closed my eyes for a second before anyone answered the door, memorizing the sounds of music and the smell of the season.

  The door opened and Alissa's dad was there to greet us. He helped us with the packages we carried and kissed both of us on our cheeks. No matter what had happened during the last few months, this time of year was always special and everyone was in good spirits.

  Alissa came running down the stairs and launched an assault of kisses and hugs upon us. Her mom was next in greeting us. My mom always asked if she could help in the kitchen, but we all knew she couldn't cook very well, so she was in charge of drinks. Dillon came down the stairs just before we all headed into the kitchen. He looked fantastic in a cream-colored sweater and jeans. I looked down at my clothes and giggled because we were wearing the same colors.

  “Hey, Dillon.” I forced a smile because seeing him got me so emotional, I was on the verge of crying.

  “You look beautiful, Katherine.” He hugged me tighter than he ever had before.

  I looked to my side and realized that everyone else had left the room, leaving us alone. I had no idea what to say, so I just stood there staring at him.

  “Can we go out onto the porch and talk for a second?” he asked.

  My stomach knotted up and all the bad things I feared hearing ran through my head. “Um, sure. Let me just put my jacket back on.” I turned around and grabbed my jacket off the coat hanger in the entryway. Dillon put on his and held the front door open, following me out. I took a deep breath, afraid he would tell me to stay away from him. That it was my fault he’d spend time in jail.

  “Katherine, I'm so sorry about what happened. I hope you know that I am not a violent person, but when I saw him pinning you up against that wall, I just lost it.” He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

  I was not expecting an apology. I looked at him confused. “Why are you apologizing to me? I should be the one apologizing to you! You saved me, Dillon. I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.” He stopped me from saying any more by grabbing my waist and softly pressing his lips against mine. He stepped back and I stared at him, with the lights shining all around his gorgeous face. I had imagined kissing him for so long. I lost control, my emotions ruling the moment.

  Closing the gap between us, I put my hands on either side of his head and brought his lips back down to mine. I kissed him hard and held him against me, afraid this would be our last kiss. He opened his mouth, letting my tongue brush up against his. His hands ran up and down my back and I pressed against him but still didn't feel close enough. My whole body tingled, desperate to not let go.

  There was a discreet cough. “Your mom needs some assistance in the kitchen, Dillon.” We both turned around and his dad's face turned beet red. He ducked his chin, smiling before going back inside.

  I looked at Dillon. His lips were red and he was out of breath. “Sounds like we’d better go back inside.” Smiling, I reached my hand out for him to take.

  He took my hand but stopped me and pulled me in close so we were nose to nose. “This conversation is not over, Katherine.” He didn't let me respond as he pulled me back into the house after him.

  I couldn’t have responded anyway. Dillon had kissed me and I couldn't wait to do it again.

  ~*~

  Alissa’s dad stood up, his spoon clinking against his wine glass and said, “Before we start eating, I would just like to express how proud I am of Alissa and Katherine for graduating early. They’re not walking up on stage with their class for the ceremony or having a graduation party so I decided now would be a great time to let you both know that we love you and look forward to what you’ll achieve in the next eighteen years.” He held up his glass and everyone toasted each other.

  Dillon looked over at me with a huge grin on his face. I was so embarrassed. “You know, high school graduation really isn’t that big of a deal.”

  My mom’s mouth dropped open. “How could you say that? Don’t listen to him, Kat. You finished high school and now you two are going to college. You both have every right to be extremely proud of yourselves.” She pointed at both of us to emphasize her point.

  “She’s right,” Alissa’s mom chimed in, finishing off her glass of wine.

  “Mom, really, you’re cut off. You’re such a lush,” Alissa said, laughing.

  We all started eating and attempted to keep up with all the different conversations going on. Dillon kicked me softly from under the table and I felt the blush in my cheeks.

  Could life get any better right now?

  ~*~

  Dinner was perfect and we decided to take a break before eating dessert. Our moms sat by the tree giggling as they drank their eggnog with rum, Alissa's dad and Dillon went into the study to look at some website her dad couldn't stop laughing about, and I pulled Alissa up to her room, far enough away no one could hear us talking.

  “Dillon kissed me,” I whis
pered through a haze of giggles.

  “Really? Oh my gosh! What does that mean?” Alissa laughed along with me and smiled bigger than I had seen her do in weeks.

  “I don't know, but I want to do it again. Like now. Oh, it was so perfect! You aren’t mad, are you? For kissing your brother?”

  Alissa hit me on the arm. “Don't be stupid. You're my best friend. If anyone is kissing my brother, I would prefer it be someone I actually like.” She pulled her phone out and I saw a faint smile.

  “Is that Matt gushing some Christmas love stuff?” I jumped onto her bed still smiling.

  “Uh, no. I haven't talked to Matt in days. Let me tell you, it's been nice not dealing with his clingy crap on top of everything else.” She waved her hand in the air.

  “If you're so unhappy why don't you just break up with him?” I asked.

  “It would be rude to break up with someone at Christmas time.”

  “But ignoring him isn't rude?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I'll just send him a quick text and then I'll talk to him after New Year’s.” I heard her phone swish, indicating the text went through. I stood up to leave, skipping towards the door.

  “Wait, I have to text Matt.”

  “Who did you just text?” I turned around, my eyes narrowing on her.

  “Scott. Don't look at me like that. It's Christmas and I want to spread the Christmas cheer.”

  “Is that all you want to spread?” I wiggled my butt around trying to be silly while Alissa just rolled her eyes, clearly not amused.

  Her phone swished again. “Okay, my good deed for the day is done. Let's go downstairs.”

  I was about to turn the corner towards the stairs when I heard a phone beep. I turned around and Alissa shrugged at me. “Not me.” I knew it wasn't my phone either because I left it at home. When I hit the bottom stair, I stopped in my tracks. Matt was standing there, looking at his phone with a smile on his face.

  He looked up at us and smiled even bigger. “You ladies look lovely tonight. I just came by to give Alissa her present. I didn't mean to intrude.”

  “Oh don't be silly, Matt. Come in and have some pie.” Alissa's mom gave him a hug and steered him into the dining room.

  I looked back at Alissa who was seething. I pushed her into the hallway and whispered, “Are you okay? Did you know he was coming by?”

  “No, I'm not okay, and no, I didn't know he would just stop by uninvited.” She pushed past me.