Crush

  “Thanks for everything!” Holly shouted as he headed into the hall. “It was nice meeting you, Thomas.”

  He stuck his head back into the apartment. “It was nice meeting you, Holly.”

  She shot him a smile that made the poor guy go another shade darker. Giving me a wave, Thomas hurried down the hall. He didn’t make it two doors down before he tripped over . . . his own two feet.

  “You all right down there, Grace?” I called out as he caught himself before he bit it.

  “I’m not exactly feeling like myself tonight,” he replied, glaring at his feet like they’d betrayed him.

  “I wonder why.” I gave him a wry smile.

  His shook his head. “Good night, Lucy.”

  “Good night, Grace.”

  He gave me a thumbs-up before making it down the rest of the hall in one piece. I’d never seen Thomas trip like that, not once in our three years of performing together.

  “What did you do to that boy?” I asked as soon as I closed the door.

  “Made him think twice about having kids,” Holly said, getting back to work on unpacking her suitcase.

  “No, he has the Holly bug so bad—”

  “Jude!” Holly shouted, rushing over to where LJ stood in front of my potted fern. His pants were around his ankles. “Please, please, please don’t tell me you just peed on Aunt Lucy’s plant.”

  LJ pulled up his pants and shrugged. “It looked thirsty.”

  I burst out in laughter, but was silenced almost as quickly when Holly turned her power glare on me.

  Giving me a look that said, Just laugh one more time, I dare ya, she marched over to LJ. “Where are you supposed to go potty?”

  “The bathroom,” LJ said, like it was obvious.

  “Specifically.”

  “The toilet.” He sighed.

  “So why did you just pee in Aunt Lucy’s plant?”

  “I told you. It was thirsty.”

  Auntie intervention in order. Grabbing the watering can from the counter, I headed over to where Holly towered over LJ. “You’re right; it was thirsty. But I know for a fact my little fern is allergic to little-boy pee”—I elbowed Holly before she elbowed me right back—“so next time it’s thirsty, you can use this to give it some water.” I handed the can to LJ. “This will be your job here. To keep the plant happy and healthy. Think you can handle that?”

  LJ inspected the can, turning it over a few times before nodding. “Yeah. I’ll take care of the plant, Aunt Luce,” he said, sounding as solemn as an almost four-year-old boy could. Then his eyes shifted to the TV in front of the sofa and they lit up. “Mom? Can I watch Yo Gabba Gabba?”

  Holly checked the clock on the kitchen wall. “Go for it.”

  After carefully placing the watering can beside the plant, LJ skipped over to the TV and grabbed the remote.

  “Does he need help with that?” I asked.

  “Are you kidding? He’s known what time and what channel Yo Gabba Gabba! is on since he was two,” she said, looking from the plant to me. “Sorry about that. Like I said, a little caveman.”

  “Don’t worry,” I said, “and if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the first time it was peed on. I’m almost certain Jude had that honor after we burned through a couple bottles of champagne New Year’s Eve and the bathroom was just too far to go when he had to go.”

  “Men,” Holly said, curling her nose at the plant. “They look for any excuse they can to whip that thing out. Age isn’t a factor. Obviously.” Her eyes landed on LJ, who was enraptured by a show that looked like it was conceived during an acid trip.

  “Come on. Let’s get your stuff moved into the bedroom so you guys can get some sleep,” I said, grabbing another suitcase of theirs. “I’m sure you’re beat.”

  “Like a punching bag,” she said, grabbing another suitcase and following me. “Aunt Lucy and I are going to finish unpacking. Let me know if you need anything, LJ.”

  “Are the brownies done yet?” LJ asked, his eyes glued to the TV.

  Holly glanced at the timer on the microwave. “Another twenty minutes.”

  “Okay,” he said, sounding like twenty minutes was an eternity. “I love you, Mom.”

  All the stress lines on Holly’s face ironed out. “I love you, Jude.”

  “It’s LJ,” he said, looking away just long enough to meet Holly’s gaze.

  “Sorry, I forgot,” she said. “I love you, LJ.”

  Damn. The kid could pee on any and every surface in the apartment if he kept saying stuff like that. The apartment felt full again. I felt full again.

  Mostly.

  I knew no matter how many bodies I packed into the place, it would never be enough to fill the void Jude had left behind. No one could fill that empty place except for him.

  Heaving the suitcase on top of the bed, I unzipped it and got to work. I’d already put on fresh sheets and emptied out the closet and drawers to make room for Holly and LJ.

  “Lucy, I still don’t feel right taking your room,” Holly said, tossing her bag onto the bed as well. “I mean, it’s your place. You should get the bedroom.”

  “Would you stop already?” I said, opening the top dresser drawer before layering LJ’s pants into it. “It’s done. My decision’s final. End of subject.”

  “I love it when you talk bitch to me,” Holly said, snagging a few hangers from the closet. “It gets me all excited.”

  I laughed and tossed her LJ’s coat to hang up. “How’s the job search going? Any luck so far?”

  I loved that I was friends with a woman who believed in creating her own destiny.

  “I start tomorrow night,” she said proudly, sliding a teeny-weeny dress onto a hanger.

  “Amazing. You can find a job in this town from across the country in a weekend’s time. It took me weeks, and even then, I had to have a friend’s older brother throw me a job bone.”

  Holly shrugged. “I had to have a friend’s help, too.” She smiled at me before situating a few hangers back into the closet.

  “What salon did you get on with?”

  “Les Cheveux Chic,” she said. “And it’s only, like, a half mile away, so I can walk to work.”

  “Wow. That’s one of the best salons in town, Holly,” I said, impressed. “Way to go.”

  “Yeah, well, I guess they were desperate for someone, with all the new business they’ve been getting, so when the owner heard I’d been clipping and dyeing my share of heads for five years, she pretty much hired me right then over the phone.” Holly scooped an armload of bras and panties from her suitcase. I think every color of the rainbow was represented, as well as every pattern and fabric. Not a bad collection for a girl who claimed to go sans underwear half the time. “However, my schedule sucks balls. I’m working nights and weekends and have a grand total of one day off.” Sliding open a dresser drawer in the closet that had been Jude’s, she dropped her racy unmentionables inside.

  “What hours at night?”

  “Six to ten Monday through Thursday,” she answered. “Apparently the salon’s trying to be friendlier to working women.”

  “And here I’d been under the impression working women worked nights,” I teased, pulling out the next drawer.

  “Who’s been telling on me?” Holly threw back, slingshotting a bright yellow thong at my face.

  I dodged it before it landed on me. “I bet working those night shifts when you have all those professionals coming in, you’ll make a ton in tips.”

  “Probably,” she said with a shrug, “but I’m having a hell of a time finding child care for Jude. It seems every day care in this town closes by six o’clock, and if I can’t find day care, then I can’t take the job.”

  I smiled. It was nice to be able to help out. “I happen to know of a certain auntie’s child care that’s got an opening and is available twenty-four-seven.”

  Holly froze, right before her face wrinkled. “No way, Lucy. No, no, no way,” she said. “You’v
e done about ten times too much already. There’s no way I could let you babysit my little man four nights a week plus the entire weekend. No. Way.”

  I rolled my eyes. Holly didn’t understand that I wasn’t doing this strictly out of the goodness of my heart. I wanted someone to fill my time so I wouldn’t mope around pining for Jude. I couldn’t imagine anyone who was more up to the task of distracting me than LJ.

  “Yes way,” I replied, sliding the drawer closed.

  “Don’t you even think about arguing with me on this, Lucy Larson,” Holly warned, wagging a finger at me. “Because I will win.”

  I wasn’t planning on arguing. I was planning on being victorious.

  “Holly, you and LJ are like family. I love you both. Let me do this.”

  My pleas were working. A little.

  “Come on. This solves both of our problems. You need someone to watch LJ and I need someone to keep me company.” Holding up a little shirt of his that read, LADIES’ MAN, I continued. “It’s a win-win.”

  Holly’s mouth had fallen open about midway through my last spiel. Shaking her head, she looked at me like I was certifiable. “Are you serious, Lucy?” she asked. “You do realize what you just witnessed isn’t just a sugar high, right? That’s the way he is all day, every day. It’s nonstop, on-the-top-of-your-game supervision.”

  I crossed my arms. “Are you done yet?” I asked.

  “Are you done yet?” she mimicked.

  “No, I’m not. I can go all night long, baby,” I said. “I’m not giving up until I get my way, so why don’t you save us the time and effort and just cave already.”

  A few moments passed in silence. Nothing but the sound of that trippy-ass music filling the apartment, before her eyes went a little watery. “Come here, you stubborn, sweet woman,” she said, flapping her arms.

  I let Holly hug me until I felt like I was going to pass out again.

  A couple hours later, the apartment was dark and, other than LJ’s little man-snoring, quiet. In two hours’ time, we’d managed to get them unpacked, worked out a weekly schedule that detailed when I’d be watching LJ as well as a chore and shopping list, bathed LJ (which was more like what I imagined it would be like to wrestle with a slippery sea lion), and cleaned up not one, but two cups of spilled milk.

  Neither LJ nor I cried over it, but Holly was close when spill number two wound up on my coat. I’d sent her to bed, promising I’d send LJ in right after he’d had his third try at a cup of milk.

  I added spill-proof cup to the shopping list before tucking him in next to Holly, who was already so deep in sleep she didn’t even shift when LJ crawled in beside her.

  Until my bed got here, I was camping out on the couch, which was pretty comfortable when you paired it with a couple of cozy blankets and pillows. Almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, I felt myself drifting off to sleep. The day had been exhausting for me, too.

  That was when my phone rang.

  I snapped awake. I couldn’t believe I’d almost forgotten Jude’s and my nightly call. Blinking to clear my sleepy eyes, I accepted the Face Time request.

  “Hey, handsome,” I said, sounding as tired as I felt.

  “Shit. Did I wake you, Luce?” His forehead creased, but his mouth stayed formed in a smile.

  “If you’d waited another thirty seconds you would have,” I said, shifting onto my elbows. “It was one hell of a day.”

  “Good or bad hell of a day?”

  “Pretty great really. Just busy. And exhausting,” I said. “Even better now that I get to end it with you.” I took him in, letting myself soak up as much of Jude as I could through the phone. This was all I got for another twenty-four hours. He was back in his hotel after finally coming to his senses that we didn’t need a ten-thousand-square-foot home for our first one. Jude was sitting up in bed, and he was shirtless.

  Had I really been tired less than a minute ago? It didn’t seem possible with the way my blood was pumping through my veins right now.

  “So . . .” he began, his smile twisting, “you look pretty tired, but I wanted to see if you felt like having some sweet dreams tonight.”

  My inner thighs tightened. “I’m not exactly alone anymore,” I whispered, glancing back at the bedroom. “I can’t have regular phone sex with you when a three-year-old’s under the roof.”

  “Just be quiet,” he suggested.

  I laughed out loud before catching myself. “When was the last time I was able to be quiet during . . . that?”

  An eyebrow arched. “Never. But there’s a first time for everything, Luce.” He was so damn confident, I almost wanted to tell him no just out of principle. But I knew I wouldn’t. My body had already started the spiral to the top from his words alone.

  “You do know if I have to attempt this whole quiet thing, I’m not going to be able to talk dirty to you. Right?” I said, skimming my fingers down my stomach. My skin was extrasensitive from anticipation.

  Jude shifted in bed before holding his boxers in front of the camera. “That’s a sacrifice I’m happy to make.” And then he threw them to the side, giving me a full-monty view.

  I swallowed, and then slid my hand under my leggings.

  “Aunt Luce?”

  I jolted, dropping the phone in the process. “LJ?! What are you doing up?” My voice was two octaves too high.

  “I heard voices and wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said, coming around the side of the couch sporting his Avengers pj’s.

  The phone had slipped behind the sofa cushions, but I could hear Jude’s low laugh coming through it.

  “I’m okay,” I said as I pulled the phone free. “I was just saying good night to Uncle Jude.” Checking the screen to make sure the view had changed, I flashed it in front of LJ.

  “Uncle Jude!” His face lit up like Jude was cooler than bubble gum.

  “Hey, little man. How’s it going?”

  “Good, but don’t talk too loud, okay?” he asked, lifting his finger to his mouth. “Mom doesn’t know I snuck out of bed.”

  “You got up to check on Aunt Luce?”

  LJ nodded.

  “Good job,” Jude said. “You’re the man of the house now, so I’m trusting you to take care of your mom and Aunt Luce.”

  “Jude, he’s three,” I said, turning the screen toward me. He’d shrugged into a shirt faster than he could get mine off.

  “I’m almost four,” LJ said proudly.

  “Yeah, Luce. He’s almost four.”

  “All right, man of the house,” I said, turning the screen back toward LJ. “Say good night. It’s way past your bedtime.”

  “One more minute?” LJ begged.

  “Yeah, one more minute?” Jude’s voice joined in.

  I sighed. “Fine.”

  LJ did a little dance.

  “Phone five,” Jude said, as LJ high-fived the screen.

  “Thanks for the football, Uncle Jude. Will you teach me to throw it one thousand yards?” It was dark, but LJ’s eyes were twinkling.

  “I’ll teach you to throw it ten thousand yards.”

  “Wow,” LJ replied, dumbfounded.

  “I’ll take you to the park when I come visit in a couple weeks. In the meantime, practice snapping your arm back and following through on your throw.”

  LJ’s eyes squinted while he stored these instructions away.

  “You’ll be throwing like a pro before you know it.”

  “And . . . time,” I interrupted, realizing that if I was going to be watching this kid six days a week, I’d have to get used to being a responsible adult.

  LJ groaned and hung his shoulders.

  “Listen to your aunt Luce, little man,” Jude said. “From one guy to another, here’s a word of advice: You’re going to have to figure out what battles are worth fighting. And this isn’t one you’ll win.”

  LJ contemplated that pearl of wisdom for all of a second before nodding his head. “Okay. Good night, Uncle Jude. Good night, Aunt Luce.” He waved and
started for the bedroom. “I love you.”

  I turned the phone so Jude could watch him go. “Love you, little man.”

  When I heard the bedroom door click shut, I spun the phone around. “That was a major crisis averted,” I teased, as his smile grew when he saw me.

  “That, Luce, was a major crisis delayed,” he implied, letting those words settle.

  Jude Ryder . . . hopeless optimist.

  “No, Jude,” I said, propping the phone up against a stack of coasters on the coffee table. “That was a major crisis called on account of weather.”

  “Luce, no way.” He groaned. “You got me all excited and now you’re giving me the airtime cock block?”

  I turned onto my side, trying not to laugh. “No. I’m going to sleep,” I replied, blowing him a kiss. “Good night. Love you, Jude.”

  A good minute after I’d closed my eyes, he sighed. I never knew so many emotions could reside in one sigh. “Good night. Love you, Luce.”

  That night, my dreams picked up where Jude and I had let off. Ecstasy.

  FOURTEEN

  I’d fallen asleep on Monday night and it was Friday when I woke up.

  It was amazing how time could move so fast when your life was filled with a nine-to-five office job, mac ’n’ cheese dinners, Yo Gabba Gabba! dates, precious hours squeezed in at the dance studio, and nightly calls from the love of my life.

  So far, Holly loved her job, and I actually looked forward to getting home so I could hang with a three-almost-four-year-old every night. It was impossible to experience any degree of self-pity when you were in the presence of a kiddo who was as happy and energetic as LJ. Plus, after chasing him around for four hours, I was able to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

  Much to Jude’s dismay.

  I was smiling to myself as I played through the many puppy-dog faces and pleas that Jude had come up with this week, when Anton burst out of his office.

  “Checked tie or striped tie?” he asked, bobbing two ties in front of me.

  Apparently personal wardrobe consultant was now one of the many hats I wore here at Xavier Industries. Work had been going well. I was learning the ropes, and I was so busy the days flew by. I’d done so much typing and created so many spreadsheets, I was sure I could complete my job with my eyes closed.