Teenager's Tale

A GLIMPSE INTO DAD’S SWEET OL’ MEMORIES

  ‘You my son have a lot of issues but I hope my story will help you find a solution. Back in 1986 when I was still a student in Mater Spei College, I had a similar problem. I liked this girl and son, I really liked her. Just when our relationship hit off her ex-boyfriend started knocking, telling her how much he still loved her and that he had made a mistake by dumping her. She fell for his charm but she didn’t tell either of us that she was involved outside both relationships.’

  He stopped and adjusted his position on the couch before continuing.

  ‘A few weeks later, your mother came to Mater Spei as a transfer-in and it was love at first sight. I lost interest for that other girl and I wanted your mother so badly but I couldn’t have her as I was still involved in another relationship. The other guy found out about me and that girl and he almost killed her. He started being abusive and I knew I had to do something but I didn’t; why because I didn’t want any problems in my life. I asked your mother for her heart and she gave it to me. From there my life ran smoothly until today. Now what you can do is forget about Winona and move on. Go for the other girl because you are sure she won’t bring any trouble in to your life, at least for now’.

  I thought about my dad’s advice for a while before I turned back to him and smiled.

  ‘Thanks for the advice dad, I really appreciate it’ and I hugged him. All along my mum had been listening to us and she came over to us and hugged us both.

  ‘Oh, how I love it when good things come together. Good advice honey’ almost imitating Hannibal Smith of The A-Team.

  That was one day and tomorrow was another. I could not, however, get myself to sleep so I decided to continue reading the Protocol. After an hour, I had read about forty pages and learnt a few things. I asked God Almighty for guidance before going to sleep. Here is the important stuff boys could learn that would later make me easy to forgive and hard to resist:

  KEEPING THE PRIZE A BIT LONGER

  So now she is officially your girlfriend. You’ve moved in your garrison in to her heart and all is settled. But for how long will this be the case? We, guys, are very complicated creatures, just like girls. We get an opportunity from the girl we’ve always liked and worshipped and once that happens, we mess up. But why is this always the case? Why did Eric Bennett do that to Halle Berry? I know why. We do so because of pride. We want John or Simon to say ‘Yeah man, you THE MAN. You can still hook up without being noticed but that does not justify your cheating. Sooner or later, she will found find out and when she does, you know what always happens. Anyway, here are a few pointers on how to keep the flame burning and still enjoy your prize.

  Honesty  Always tell the truth because no one likes being lied to. They were not joking when they said honesty is the best policy. Even if you think by lying, you are sparing her feelings, it's better to come from a good place the first time around then than being yelled at for lying later on. Who knows, you might even get dumped then. It’s always so painful to realize you could have saved a relationship when it is already late. Be honest about your feelings because even if you're not officially a couple, you need to be honest with her. Being honest with each other is the first step in a successful relationship.

  Be respectful  Listen Respect her boundaries. If she says she doesn't like PDAs (public displays of affection), you should respect that. It’s not that she’s embarrassed of you; no. She’s just a little shy and you should respect that.

  Don't let your friends pick on her. Stick up for her, even if they are only kidding! She'll reflect their behavior on you. I mean, like they always say, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you what kind of person you are.”

  When a girl asks you to stop touching them inappropriately or making fun of them, do it. If you don't, it will make her very angry. That anger will surely accumulate in to hate and once she is sour, nothing will ever turn her back in dumping you.

  No cheating  Never cheat on her. And I mean EVER! Because if you do and she has any self-respect, she'll break up with you for a guy who will treat her well like the princess she is. At least don’t make it obvious that you are cheating on her. But remember, if she does ask, tell her the truth.

  Don't be controlling, but don't be her bitch either (in the female dog sense, of course). You guys should both be making choices in the relationship. Doing things for her is always nice and she will most likely return those favors – in many ways than one. Being a control freak does NOT show any respect for her; or love.

  Respect the fact that girls like to go out with their friends. Take that time to have some "guy-time" of your own. So while she's shopping and watching chick-flicks, you can watch the beautiful game of football as the Zebras whips Bafana-Bafana. That will give you both a chance to improve on your social skills.

  Don't push too fast for a physical relationship. No always means no. Even when you think it doesn't. If she's not ready for sex, she's not ready for sex and that's that. Don't talk about it after she says no. If she wants to talk about it, or if she wants to do it, she'll let you know. So relax and wait for the right time. If you put her under pressure and she gives in, the sex will be sex and not love-making like it should be. You will enjoy it but she won’t and that HURTS!

  Be affectionate  Kiss her on the forehead and on top of her head, especially when she is feeling down. Always say a simple "I love you" if you mean it. It will make her happy. These are just three simple words but you have no idea what they mean to her. She loves hearing them, more especially since they are from you. No matter how down or angry she was, a smile will appear on her dear lips. Don't forget to hug her too.

  Always be willing and ready to cuddle with her and hold her. If you guys are sitting together open your arms and pull her in gently. It'll make her feel loved. VERY much loved and trust me on this one. Kiss her on the top of her head when she's in your arms. Rock her lightly if you think she would like that. Whisper your love in to her ears as you do this.

  Listen to songs together and create your playlists together.

  Compliments  Give her a cute pet name. It's always a good idea. If she doesn't like it, drop it immediately and think up another one. If she doesn't like pet names she'll let you know. Notice the little changes in her appearance, because she likely did it for you. Compliment or casually comment on the good changes about her. She most likely worries about looking best just for you. Reassure her when she's feeling insecure. Never just say "Your hair looks fine!" Instead, say "Your hair is perfect my love" A smile is inevitable, I assure you. Tell her she looks beautiful when she's clearly made an effort. Especially for special functions like the prom, or dates you both have been looking forward to. If she mentions that she liked something and then 3 weeks later you remember it, she'll love you for it. If she just jokingly says something like "I wish I was pretty", tell her that she is more than just pretty; that she is EXTREMELY attractive.

  Be attentive  Never ignore her! It will make her feel like you are not into her anymore. Girls very much love their partners’ attention but don’t be on her tail 24/7. Make her feel important to you. Let her know that you're thinking about her, and you miss her. And if she looks great, tell her! Hold doors for her. Chivalry is not dead! But girls worthy of it are! Whoever wrote this part was bitter!

  Tell her when you are thinking about her. Girls love this so much. A simple text saying that you care or are thinking about her is adorable. She'll know that she has nothing to worry about, and that you really love her. Try to cheer her up when she's sad about little things. For emotions like grief, it's best to simply be there for her. She wants NEEDS sympathy, not a solution. Be her shoulder to cry on. Don't forget her birthday. This is the biggest mistake EVER! And make sure you get her something thoughtful and sweet.

  Do nice Things for her  Write poetry for her. Writing a poem or a song for your girlfriend is extremely cute. Who cares if you misspell something, repeat a word in the same sentence or leave out a co
mma? A girl will always be flattered that you care enough to do something like that for her. Write a poem about her eyes or the way she smiles. Write about her laugh or how much she means to you. If you feel you just can't write poetry, find some tender, romantic poetry and copy the best ones, adding the author's name and under that: "This is how you make me feel."

  Be silly! Girls love funny guys (unless they have a heart of stone). Be funny and silly. Play the Truth game with her and ask silly questions. Your boyfriend/girlfriend should also be your best friend. And most people goof off with their best friends! You shouldn't feel like you have to impress each other.

  Let her playfully hit you. When a girl lightly slaps you on the shoulder or the thigh laugh along with her and tell her that she is adorable, NEVER hit her back, even lightly. Girls like to think they are stronger than you, plus, it’s wrong to hit a girl. If she keeps poking you, play along with it make it into a little game; have fun with her.