Holding Her Hand

  “He already warned me about you.”

  “He did?”

  “Yes, after our first date.”

  “Oh.”

  “He loves Star and Star loves you. It’s only natural for him to feel protective.”

  I nod and settle back against the seat. “So, is there anything I should know about your mom?”

  He smiles wolfishly at me as the car slows down in front of a small brownstone. “You’ll have to ask her yourself.” He gets out of the car and holds a hand out to me. “Ready?”

  No, not really. I wish I’d worn something else, something that didn’t show sweat at all, because I’m worried I’ll walk in with pit stains. I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous. But I put my hand in his and let him pull me from the car. He gathers my gift and we walk hand in hand up the sidewalk.

  He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. “I could hold your hand forever,” he says, staring into my eyes. “Ready?” he asks. “Take a deep breath.” I do, but I feel like I’m about to pass out.

  “I just hope she likes me,” I admit. Then I square my shoulders.

  “I love you enough for both of us,” he says. Then he opens the door and steps inside. He looks back at me, his eyes twinkling.

  “You can’t say something like that and then expect me to just walk in and meet your mother.” I try to take a step back, but he grabs my hand and pulls me inside. We walk in and find that the house is completely full of people. They’re lounging on sofas and sitting on chairs, and people are spread into the other rooms. The sliding glass door is open and I see that a bunch of people are milling around on the back deck where a grill is being used.

  People stop and greet us, and Ryan introduces me to people. I recognize a few of the guys from poker night, and some of them come to say hello. One of my security guys is right behind us. He’ll go back outside as soon as he sees that the place is secure, but he gets a few strange glances.

  “He’s not blending in really well, is he?” I ask Ryan.

  “Who cares?” He shrugs.

  Me?

  Finally, Ryan stops in front of a dark-haired woman who has her hair pulled back with shiny barrettes. She opens her arms to him and he picks her up, jostling her around, and she squeals. “Happy birthday, Mom,” he signs. She pats his cheek affectionately, and then he steps to the side and motions to me.

  “Mom, this is L-A-R-K,” he says, and he waves his hand like he’s Vanna White and I’m the Q no one ever gets. “My girlfriend.”

  My face heats, but I push it back. “Nice to meet you,” I tell her in sign language. I hold out the pretty box full of cookies. “My mom made some cookies for you. Happy birthday.”

  She looks at me warily, then she steps toward me. I instinctively take a step back, and walk right into a wall. Of man. I look over my shoulder.

  “Hey, Lark. Good to see you again,” Mick says. Then he puts his hands on my shoulders to keep me still. No fair.

  Their mom stops when she’s inches from me and takes in my facial features, her eyes falling on my nose, my lips, my hair. “This is the hearing girl, right?”

  “Mom…” Ryan warns.

  His mom rolls her eyes, and Ryan smiles. “Lark is very pretty,” she says. She looks at Ryan and nods. In approval? Maybe. The grip around my heart starts to ease.

  “Thank you,” I reply. “And thank you for inviting me.” I take the flowers from Ryan. “These are for you.”

  She takes them with a smile and brings them to her nose. Then she hugs me. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  Ryan and Mick look at one another and then they both fall into dead heaps on the floor at the exact same time. I take a step back, stepping over Mick’s body to get out of the way. Then I squat down next to Ryan and tap his shoulder. He looks up at me, grinning. “Why are you lying on the floor?” I ask him.

  “Well, my mother said it would be a cold day in hell before she let me date a hearing girl,” Ryan tells me. “So when she hugged you and welcomed you, I fainted.” He points to Mick, who is still pretending to be out cold. “Mick did too. See? We’re just overwhelmed.”

  Mick lifts his head. “Did the body snatchers take Mom?” he asks. He doesn’t get up, though, and neither does Ryan. They just lie there.

  “Maybe she’s going crazy in her old age,” Ryan replies.

  His mom scowls. Then she pulls the dishtowel from her back pocket and starts to slap them both with it. They howl and cover their asses, jumping to their feet so they can run around the room with her chasing them. Someone who looks a lot like Ryan grabs him and holds him in a headlock, while she proceeds to slap him with the towel. He pretends like it hurts, but you can tell it doesn’t. Finally, he lets Ryan go and Ryan introduces me to his dad.

  Mrs. Shepherd looks at me and smiles. “Would you like to help me in the kitchen?” she asks.

  Relief washes over me. “I’d love to.”

  “Send her back to me one piece,” Ryan jokes.

  “You are not funny,” she says, and she shakes her finger at him.

  “Not at all,” I say and I shoot him a look. My security guy follows us and I tell him, “You can go to the car. I’m fine.”

  He shakes his head and stares straight ahead. “I’ll wait right here.”

  “Really, it’s okay.”

  His eyes linger on Mrs. Shepherd and he finds a place in the corner, out of the way, where he can wait. “Nope.”

  “You know most of these people can’t hear, don’t listen to music, and have no idea who I am, right?”

  “I’ll wait,” he says.

  “Suit yourself.”

  Suddenly, a familiar face bustles around the corner, wearing an apron. “What else can I do,” the girl asks.

  Mrs. Shepherd smiles at her. “You can talk to Lark while I take these outside.”

  Mrs. Shepherd leaves the room, and Ryan’s ex-girlfriend stares hard at me. “What are you doing here?”

  “Ryan invited me. And you?” I stare back just as hard.

  “Molly invited me. His mom.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” I hold out a hand. She slaps it instead of shaking it, and my security guy gets up to come toward us. “It’s okay,” I tell him out loud. “I got this.”

  Samantha rolls her eyes and picks up the cookie box, shaking it as she peers through the little plastic window. “What kind of cookies are these?”

  “I think they’re pecan something,” I say. “I’m not sure. My mother made them.”

  She gets a gleam in her eye that I don’t quite understand, but I let it slide. “Molly will love them.”

  “Hope so.”

  Ryan’s mom bustles back into the room, and pulls out a tray and some vegetables. She hands them to me, and then gives me a knife. I chop and arrange vegetables in the completely silent room, until Ryan comes in and holds his mouth open like a baby bird, and waits for me to pop a carrot in. He chews loudly as he signs. “Dad says it’s time to eat.”

  Mrs. Shepherd motions for everyone to follow her. We all end up on the deck, where there are picnic tables set up. Ryan makes a plate for me and one for him, and we sit down at a table with Mick, Samantha, and a few other people. Samantha sits down on Ryan’s other side and he scoots closer to me. He’s so close that I’m going to slide right off the bench.

  I get up and motion for him to take my spot, and he looks up at me quizzically, but he does it. Then I squeeze between Samantha and him. I look at her and grin. “There,” I say. “That’s so much better.”

  Mick tosses his head back and laughs out loud. “I like you, Lark,” he says.

  I grin. “I like you too, Mick.”

  “You must have balls this big,” he says as he mimics palming a baseball with two hands.

  Ryan must have read our lips, because he chimes in. “She doesn’t,” Ryan says. “I checked.” He kisses me on my hot cheek. It’s a loud smack and it’s awesome.

  Mrs. Shepherd walks over and holds out her hand. “My present
s, please?” she says to Mick and Ryan. Ryan reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a sheet of paper. He wasn’t kidding. It’s the spiral notebook kind and everything. She unfolds it, and then she leans over and presses a lingering kiss to his forehead.

  She shows it to me. “I used to tell him this story every night before he went to bed,” she tells me. Ryan has drawn a moon and some cows and sheep jumping over it. It’s really beautiful. “I’m going to put it on the wall with the others.”

  Mick hands her the same kind of note.

  “He writes stupid poetry,” Ryan says. Then he rolls his eyes.

  “She loves my stupid poetry, thank you very much,” Mick replies.

  She reads it, gets a little tear in her eye, and blinks it back. Then she kisses his forehead too, the same way she did Ryan’s.

  “Ha!” Mick cries. “She liked mine better than yours.”

  “She did not. Take it back!” Ryan cries. Then he picks up a forkful of potato salad and hooks the end of it with his finger, like he’s readying it to launch it at Mick.

  Mrs. Shepherd pops him on the back of his head and he drops the makeshift weapon.

  “Mom loves me more than you,” Mick tells him.

  Ryan holds up a middle finger. His mom sees that and slaps at it to scold him. “Be nice!” she warns, pointing at them both.

  “Should I give her the present I got her, or should I just leave it for her?” I ask Ryan.

  “Where is it?”

  “In my pocket.”

  He holds out his hand and I lay the tiny box in it. He tugs his mom’s sleeve and she looks at the box. “What’s that?” she asks.

  “From Lark,” he says.

  “Is it handmade?” she asks.

  Ryan starts to say, “Does it matter?” but I cut him off. “It is, actually. I made it myself.” My face heats again. I wish I could curtail some of the blushing.

  She smiles and starts to open it. Then she stops and takes in a breath, covering her chest with her palm. She pulls the silver barrettes out of the box and holds them up. “You made these?”

  “Well, I added the jewels,” I admit. I bought the silver barrettes and then I added two gemstones, one for Ryan’s birthstone and one for Mick’s. “It’s their birthstones,” I tell her.

  “How did you know my birthday?” Mick asks.

  I roll my eyes. “Facebook,” I say. “Duh…”

  He grins. “Well played.”

  Mrs. Shepherd pulls the barrettes she’s already wearing from her hair and replaces them with mine. “How do they look?” she asks the boys.

  “Beautiful,” they both say at the same time. “And you don’t look a day older,” Ryan adds. “In fact, I think you look a day younger with those on.”

  She pulls the dishtowel from her pocket again and slings it at him. He ducks and laughs.

  “They don’t even look cheap,” Samantha says.

  “They’re not,” I tell her, though she can’t hear the growl in my voice.

  Mrs. Shepherd makes me very happy when she hugs me, and then she goes to show off her new barrettes. Ryan kisses me on the cheek and says, “She likes you.”

  “You think so?” My heart is still racing a mile a minute.

  “Yes,” Mick says. “You’re in.”

  I heave out a relieved breath. “Whew!” I wipe my hand across my forehead and pretend to sling off sweat.

  But suddenly, Mrs. Shepherd starts to gasp. She holds her throat and her lips begin to turn blue. “Mom!” Mick calls out, and Ryan runs to the house and comes back immediately with an injectable pen. She falls to the ground and they stick her with the pen, but her breathing doesn’t improve. Someone calls for an ambulance, and Ryan, Mick, and their dad try to keep her stable, but it’s not working.

  “Oh, my God!” Samantha says. “Were there nuts in the cookies you brought?”

  “Mom is allergic to nuts,” Ryan says. He’s frantically trying to keep her awake, and she’s struggling to breathe.

  “You knew there were nuts in the cookies!” I tell Samantha.

  “How would I know that?” she asks, standing up taller in mock outrage.

  “Because I told you!”

  “You might have thought you did, but your signing isn’t very good,” she says.

  I hear the sirens outside and I wait with the others as they load her into the ambulance. Ryan and Mick leave together in Mick’s car to go to the hospital, and I go to my car with my security guard. “You told her,” he says to me.

  “I know I did.”

  “Conniving little bitch,” he mutters.

  “Yep.”

  “You want to go to the hospital?”

  “Yes, please.”

  I text my family with a group text.

  Me: I think I just killed Ryan’s mom. We’re on our way to the hospital.

  When we arrive, I find Ryan pacing in a hallway with Mick and his dad. Samantha is with him, and every time he stops walking, she starts to rub his arm. He lifts her fingers and pushes her away. Then he sees me.

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I rush to say.

  He wraps me up in a hug, burying my face in his chest. I look up. “I didn’t know she was allergic, I swear it. I told Samantha there were nuts in them and she just said your mom would love them.”

  “I didn’t understand her signing,” Samantha protests, and then she begins to pick at her cuticles. “She’s not very good at it.”

  “You’re a liar, Samantha!” Mick cries out loud as he signs it too. “You did this on purpose and you know you did!”

  Her face flushes. “I did not!”

  “Your left eye twitches when you lie,” Ryan tells her.

  She stamps her foot. “Does not!”

  “It does,” Mick says. “It always has. You’re lying now and you were lying then.” He points toward the door. “You should go.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Oh yes you will,” four female voices say from behind me, and I look around to find all four of my sisters, along with Emilio and Marta. “You do not want to fuck with my daughter,” Marta says, pointing a finger at Samantha. I have seen Marta get all mama-bear-like before, but I have never seen her quite so forceful. She points to the door. “Out!”

  Samantha turns and runs down the hallway.

  “She could have killed her,” Ryan says. His face is so pale we could light a dark room with it.

  “She didn’t,” Marta says. “Your mother will be fine.”

  “You don’t know that,” Ryan says.

  “I do. I’m a mother, Ryan. We know everything.”

  “What do we do now?” Mick asks.

  “Now we wait,” Emilio says.

  Everyone sits down, and Mick and Ryan don’t say a word about my sisters and my parents waiting with us.

  “Do you want me to ask them to leave?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “They can stay.”

  “Marta,” Emilio jokes, “I haven’t seen you be that forceful in a really long time. It’s kind of turning me on.”

  “Someone had to do it,” Marta says. She points to my sisters. “Two of you are pregnant, and therefore incapable of fighting. I couldn’t let you get hurt.”

  Wren freezes as Emilio looks at each of them in turn. “Wait. Two of you? What the fuck?” His eyes skip from one of us to the other. “I know Star’s pregnant, because she’s blowing up like a basketball all of a sudden.”

  Star presses a hand to her belly. “I am not,” she mutters.

  “Who else is it? Who’s pregnant?” Emilio demands.

  Wren tentatively raises her hand. “It’s me,” she squeaks out. But Peck and Finny raise their hands too.

  “Oh, shit,” I whisper.

  “I just found out yesterday,” Finny says.

  “Sam and I were waiting to tell everybody,” Peck adds.

  Wait! All four of my sisters are pregnant at the same time? My brain struggles to catch up.

  Emilio heaves a sigh. “You girls are going
to kill me. I’m going to die of a heart attack and it’ll be because of you.”

  “You’re too mean to die,” Marta says.

  “Damn straight.” Emilio sits down beside Wren, because he knows Wren is the one who needs him right now, and he takes her hand. He doesn’t say anything else to her. He just holds her hand. She lays her head on his shoulder and we all wait.

  Every few minute I hear Emilio mutter something about too many fucking babies at once. And this is what you get when you have five girls. You have to worry about all the penises. And then he goes silent again. “Eight little hands and eight little feet,” he whispers. He looks at Wren, squeezes her hand, and she tears up a little and nods. “We got this,” I hear him whisper.

  “I know we do,” she whispers back. But the tears continue to fall.

  Ryan

  Relief is a palpable, living, breathing thing when the doctor comes out to tell us that Mom will be all right. I get choked up and Mick does too. The doctor tells Dad that one person can go see her at a time, so he goes first.

  I pull Lark into my arms and hold her tight. “I’m so sorry,” she says, when I finally let her go.

  “It’s not your fault,” I tell her. And it’s not. It’s Samantha’s. I can’t believe I stayed with that bitch as long as I did. When she cheated on me, that was the best day of my life. I just didn’t realize it then. Then I met Lark and my whole world changed.

  “We need to go and feed the four mamas-to-be,” Emilio says. “Cafeteria?” Mick and I shrug, and we follow them to the small café that’s next to the gift shop.

  “So Wren is the pregnant one,” Mick asks me when no one is looking.

  “Apparently she’s one of the pregnant ones.” I still can’t figure all that out.

  “What’s her story?”

  “I have no idea.” I look over at Wren, who is looking at my brother with curiosity. “You should go and talk to her.”

  “Okay,” he says. And he goes to stand beside her at the soup counter. She laughs at something he says and I can’t help but think that something is going to happen there.

  Emilio comes to stand beside me and says, “I guess I don’t have to worry about Mick’s penis, either, since she’s already pregnant, right?”

  “I wouldn’t think so.” I grin at him.