Conjuring Dreams or Learning to Write by Writing

  Second Life

  Midori Omoto slipped her foot in a strap high on the wall and pressed her split legs against the wall, holding two other straps for pressure. As her muscles pulled, she sighed with pleasure. This, this was something she understood. This was her world and had been since she started skating at nine-years-old.

  Of course, the need to hold the straps meant she couldn't complete the move with a graceful arch of her hands. Zero-g meant she had to find other ways to apply pressure to stretch out. She bent forward to touch her forehead to her knee and could have cried anew at the cold feel of metal pressed against her leg.

  The gateway, the chunk of metal embedded in her head—a poor replacement for the brain matter removed to accommodate it—was what separated her from her old life, her dreams and future, her humanity. She turned her head and laid her ear on her knee, trying to get past the despair, but the litany of all the things she'd lost came in the usual flood.

  The throbbing of her head above her ear reminded her that the bullet through her brain was the real reason she was trapped forever in a tin can circling the earth. The gateway was just the visible proof of her life sentence.

  "Well! I didn't expect to see anyone using the gym at this hour, especially a codeslinger."

  Midori would have folded back up, perhaps bolted from the room, if her foot hadn't caught in the strap. As Midori struggled to free her foot from the elastic, the woman floated past her to a strange contraption of padded bent poles that Midori had had no idea how to use. Curiosity kept her in place after her foot was freed as the woman, the only one with a gateway who wasn't a codeslinger, began her own stretches, contorting through the strange poles and bends that allowed the contraption to provide the tension instead of her arms. The woman was getting a far better stretch with less effort. Midori was jealous.

  "M'name's Lola. Want me to show you?" Lola asked. "Kado figured this out for me."

  Midori was torn and a little taken aback. People didn't just accost her or talk to her. Skating sixteen hours a day was not conducive to friendships. She didn't know this strange and abnormally happy person, other than a brief meeting two days ago when she arrived. But her interest in the contraption won out. "Please."

  Lola did so, with minimal touching, as if she understood Midori's discomfort, though Lola's percipience was unnerving on its own. As Midori bent backwards, her leg behind her, the top of her head touching her knee, she could have sighed. She hadn't stretched in months and it comforted her to feel her body pushed to its limits.

  "Yep, he's something. Gym came with resistance exercises and the like, to help the scientists keep the bone loss to a minimum for long stints up here. But they never use it, that's why they've got to cycle back down. I told Kado I missed being able to stretch so he rigged this up for me." Lola was using the resistance equipment as she talked.

  Midori felt like she was required to answer. "It's wonderful. Who is Kado?"

  "My lover," Lola said with no sign of embarrassment. "He's a permanent resident, too, only without the forehead hardware. Dr. Hans Kado."

  "Oh, the fre—"

  "Don't. Don't say it," Lola interrupted sharply. "He's autistic and unique, but he's not a freak. He's smarter than everyone else on this hunk o' tin twice over. And we, of all people, shouldn't be talking about people as freaks."

  Midori bit her lip. Codeslingers seemed to do nothing but talk and complain. Still, it couldn't all be true. She bent to the side, held in place by a well-positioned bar. "Is it true he carries jellyfish venom in a syringe?"

  Lola surprised her by laughing. "Oh. That. No, I don't think he does as a general rule. It was just that one time. As far as I know." Midori's face must have betrayed her again because Lola added, with a huff, "Look we don't get attacked all that often, and Kado is very protective. It was just the one time!"

  Midori grabbed her ankles in a deep backbend. "Simon said he killed two people."

  "Did Simon happen to mention Kado and I were in the middle of saving his ass?"

  Midori thought back to her next-to-least favorite of the other codeslingers on board. He was always whiny. "No, but it wouldn't surprise me." As she slid her head past a bar, it brushed the gateway. She shivered. "Why do you have one, a gateway, if you're not a codeslinger?"

  Midori found herself staring at Lola's gateway, sticking out of Lola's forehead nearly two centimeters, stretching across the entire forehead five centimeters wide and polished to a mirror finish.

  "Oh, well, I can't do math, kinda the lifeblood of coding. They didn't know that when they installed this monstrosity. I was one of the first and I'm now the one who's had it the longest. Lot of attrition with the gateway." Lola said it matter-of-factly but Midori shivered.

  The docs had told her, when they installed it groundside, that many codeslingers couldn't take being trapped in space, never to return. The gateway was a one-way ticket to space. And once you were in space, well, suicide is easy up here.

  What saved your life made you an exile. Even with horrific damage, they could regrow the nerves, but those nerves would atrophy in a gravity field. Only in zero-g would the new nerve cells hold out. Not worth the trouble if you couldn't do math today; they'd just harvest you for your organs and move on, but, if you had the aptitude, they'd make you a codeslinger if they could. Hack out a chunk of your brain, install the gateway that allowed instantaneous transfer to computers or other people with gateways. Family got a fortune and held a funeral just as if you were dead. And you were shipped off to space forever to work on one of the NOVA satellites, protecting their burgeoning organ growth and other zero-g industries from cyber espionage.

  It still didn't seem real. Nothing did, not since a bullet blew through her brain and took away her life.

  "It doesn't have to be hell, y'know." Lola said. "You're an athlete, right? Figure skater they told me. That may be hard to lose but there's great stuff about being in space, too. You can build a life for yourself if you want it."

  "Like you did?"

  Lola's smile was lopsided. "Yeah."

  Midori chewed on that. The programming languages sent directly to her brain had actually interested her. Been almost fun. Not like skating, but not like drudgery either. And there were other codeslingers she liked. Michael, who had a good nature, and Alexai who was patient and smart, and who had come up in the same ship she had along with the rest of this load of scientists. But the other three! Simon was whiny and demanding, Brent arrogant and self-absorbed and Luke, well Luke was a total pervert.

  "You could get hobbies. Bet you didn't have time for them before. Or a boyfriend. Men outnumber women by a sizeable margin up here. Can't have Kado, though. He's mine."

  "Why is he trapped, too? Doesn't he rotate down like the other scientists and techs?"

  "Gotta broken spine. Regrew it up here, mostly, though it's a little touch and go. Was one of the first using the nerve regrowth procedures. But that was before gateways."

  "Pity," a soft voice said from the door.

  "Kado!" Lola said with obvious delight, disengaging from the rubber bands and floating toward him, before narrowing her eyes. "Wait, how did you find me?"

  "Tracker." Kado was spindly and long limbed with a boyish face of indeterminate age and vague expression. A lab coat floated about his person, with pockets stuffed. She saw several syringes. One foot and one hand were locked into handholds.

  "Didn't I tell you not to track me?"

  "Yes," he said, with no sign of contrition. And then, to Midori's shock, he wrapped himself around the short voluptuous Lola MacRoberts, pressing her against the wall as he gripped her spiky pink hair with his free hand and began kissing her with the kind of abandon Midori thought was limited to bedrooms.

  When the kiss ended, Lola continued where she'd left off. "Where did you put it this time? You don't have to know where I am at all times."

  Kado said nothing

  "Damn it, Kado!"

  "I love you." The words were simple
and not charged with emotion, but Midori felt it to her toes as an onlooker. Now, Lola was blushing.

  "And the gateway doesn't bother you?" Midori found herself asking.

  Kado looked up, but not directly at her, his fingers caressing the matte side of Lola's gateway. "Beautiful." He nodded, a smile on his lips. "Functional."

  Lola smiled a warm and intimate smile, clearly for Kado but pointed at Midori. "Kado is a practical kind of guy. Now, lemme go and tell me why you came here."

  "Webber."

  "God!"

  On the one hand, Midori knew she was an outsider to a very close couple. On the other, she couldn't remember when last she had a conversation where she was included to this extent. So, she asked. "Who is Webber?"

  "Dr. Mary Webber. Working on some of the more advanced drugs for Alzheimer's and the like," Lola said at once. "She's been up here almost as long as Kado, but she has to rotate dirtside every so often. All but have to drag her from the lab, kicking and screaming, each rotation and she gripes when she comes back. What is it this time?"

  "Nothing," Kado said.

  "Nothing? So why, no, wait. Did you mean nothing as in nothing's wrong or did you mean some other kind of nothing?"

  "Other," Kado said. "Silent."

  "Oh, that is disturbing." Kado and Lola had fallen apart, but were still in close contact, each hanging on to handholds. "She's been back two days. Did you check on her, Kado?"

  "Won't open."

  "So you came to get me. Alright, let's go. Want to come along, Midori? Might as well get to know everyone. You'll be here a while."

  Midori was inexplicably pleased at being invited to meet a difficult person. "Why did he come to find you?"

  "Me, well, I'm kind of the data coordinator for all the NOVA space stations. I mean, on one hand I'm the keeper of the data for scientists, on and off ship, but someone has to run things up here and, since I can't write and keep up with changing code like you, that's what I do. So, I'm the only one who can break a lock on a lab."

  Kado left, and Lola followed so Midori followed her. Kado moved as swiftly and surely as he was laconic, but she did notice his legs twitching and missing here and there, perhaps the side effect of his spinal injury. Lola moved well, too, not with grace, but with an economy of movement Midori couldn't help but envy.

  Since the gym was situated in the lab section, they did not have to go far. Lola tried the hail, with no response, and the lock override on the keypad, which didn't work. Lola slid aside a panel and touched her gateway to the interface. Almost instantly, the door slid open.

  Almost as instantly, Kado, his hand on his face, slammed the closed button and pushed them all away. The next second, Midori figured out why as she was engulfed by the hideous miasma of decaying flesh. Hurling in zero g is particularly unpleasant and she fought to keep from doing so. To her amazement—still without meeting her eyes—Kado handed her an airsick bag she presumed he retrieved from one of his many pockets. She took it gratefully, though just having it helped her beat back the urge. He swiped something that smelled sort of like mint and medicine over her lip—that helped with the smell.

  "Wait here," Lola told her, searching in the bag slung on her back. She retrieved an odd contraption that looked like a flare gun. Surely not.

  Kado stopped Lola when she would have gone back, and slipped a surgical mask over her face and handed her gloves. He was already wearing the same.

  Did the man carry everything? "Is it true you carry jellyfish venom with you?"

  Kado paused, his eyes looking up and to the side as if rummaging through the attic of his brain. "Not today." Midori decided that was more unnerving than if he'd said yes.

  Because of the metal walls of the hallway and every room, Kado and Lola were easy to hear even from her spot away from the door. Lola did most of the talking, as Midori had already come to expect. "Eww. She's only been here two days. How can it smell so bad?"

  "Gangrene."

  "Gangrene? How did she pass her physical to come back here with gangrene?"

  "Fresh."

  "Fresh? Fresh gangrene, Kado? Are you teasing me? What the hell is fresh gangrene? Isn't that mutually exclusive? And what's this? She stabbed her eyes out? Is this what killed her? She sure was enthusiastic with the scalpel. And all these cuts on her arms and legs. I guess she could have bled out that way, too. Got some pads so we can clean up this up?"

  "Save 'em."

  "Yeah, I know. Think it's a disease? Is there one that makes you go mad?"

  "Syphilis."

  "Doesn't that take years? And they would have caught that groundside, Kado."

  "Leprosy." Kado didn't sound like he was telling a joke. He had the deadpan tone down.

  "Are you even trying? You don't stab yourself to death if you have leprosy and that takes years to show up. Yuck, look at her feet, totally nasty with gangrene."

  "Dry gangrene."

  "Fresh and dry gangrene? Are you pulling my leg?"

  "Vasoconstriction."

  "You're saying her limbs weren't getting enough blood so they started to rot? Why would you think that? Oh, because there should be lots more blood than this. I mean, it looks like it didn't start to really gush until she went after the eyes."

  "Exactly."

  Midori kept tight hold of the airsick bag. She might need it after all.

  "You know, I'm getting the hang of this medical gig. Maybe I should get my degree, be a doc like you" Lola paused. "So, what do you think did it?"

  "Autopsy." There was a pause. "Quarantine."

  "Wait, you think it could be infectious? Communicable?"

  There was a pause. "Don't know."

  "Well, a quarantine won't work, Kado. She didn't pick up this nasty bug up here or we'd be the ones with gaping bloody sockets. All the people she was jammed nose to ass with in the ship coming here have made contact with those of us who weren't. The window of opportunity for quarantine has come and gone. Can you handle this alone?"

  "Yes."

  "Sorry you have to but I'd best gather the others and tell them not to get all stoic. If they feel the urge to gouge their eyes out, they should let us know so we can maybe talk 'em out of it. I'll be back. What's this? Yes, yes, I'll wipe down thoroughly. You be careful, Kado. I just now got you where I want you, so you'd better stick around."

  There was another pause. "I will."

  Lola stopped at the door, wiping her arms and exposed skin with wipes before bundling them inside her gloves and tying it off. "Let's go, Midori. That couldn't have been pleasant. On the other hand, you didn't have to meet Webber, so that has to be taken as a plus. They're getting lax with their physicals dirtside, that's all I've got to say. What did they do, check her out over the phone? How do you miss gangrene?"

  "So, what happens now?" Midori asked "What did happen?"

  "We don't know. Maybe she got sick dirtside and brought it up with her. Some things are more infectious than others, but, since we're all sealed into this tiny can, there's really no getting away from it if it is contagious. Could be the gangrene is from Type II Diabetes or something—though they should have caught that dirtside, too—and she just went nuts. There aren't many of us up here that are clinically sane so making the distinction between normal crazy and danger-to-herself-and-others is tricky, even if we had a psychiatrist. Though, of course, that should have been part of the screening dirtside. Damn it, they totally dropped the ball down there."

  "So, what does that mean? I don't know anything about medicine, except, you know, sports injuries."

  Lola, who'd been pulling herself along the hallway with her normal smoothness, paused and looked back at her. "It means we don't know what it means. And it means we won't have any idea what it means unless Kado finds something or someone else gets sick. And we have no idea how long that will take."

  When Lola used a public address system and called everyone into the cafeteria, Midori was amazed at the response she got. The scientists were frankly disgusted t
hey'd been dragged away for this and huffy at the suggestion they wouldn't know if something were wrong. The techs and other support staff looked a bit more scared but stayed quiet, nodding when Lola warned them to tell her if they had any unusual symptoms.

  The codeslingers, however, were the ones that had the most unexpected reaction. Simon, Brent, and Luke, rather than panicking or getting angry as she'd expected, laughed and made crude jokes about the deceased scientist, something the other scientists clearly didn't care for. Michael, older than the rest, rolled his eyes and shook his head at their behavior. Alexai, to her surprise, shushed them and politely asked Lola to continue. Luke sneered, "Think your cold soul will keep your balls from rotting off?"

  "People who delight in the pain and discomfort of others, especially those people who cannot escape, do so because they have no souls or no balls." Alexai, handsome as a model with electric blue eyes, spoke with a voice as hard as stone, then added in the ensuing silence. "I could ask which one applies but, truthfully, I suspect it's both."

  Instead of silencing Brent and Simon, they just turned their crude teasing to Luke. The meeting broke up right afterwards.

  Midori didn't see Kado the rest of the day or the morning of the next. Midori found herself shadowing Lola between their respective shifts not only because she was friendly but also because that seemed the best source of information. So, when Lola returned to the gym after her shift to workout, Midori joined her.

  A horrible raucous alarm reverberated mid-stretch while she and Lola were working out, the LED lights flashing red then blue overhead.

  Lola was out the door before Midori could untangle herself from Kado's contraption. When Midori attained the hall, she found Lola linked to the gateway interface on a nearby lab door. And, of course, Kado was there, too.

  "Where?" he asked as she pulled away.

  "Airlock, let's go." She pushed off powerfully from the wall and propelled herself down the corridor. Kado, without the push, was close behind her. Thrusting off handholds with feet and hands, they moved far swifter than Midori could manage, so she quickly lost sight of them. But she knew she was close when struck by another horrific smell. That almost smelled like . . . poop.

  When Midori got to the airlock, she saw Alexai holding a scientist in a very strong headlock, his feet locked in a foot restraint, a tech pleading with that same scientist, and Kado flitting around sliding surgical masks on the various players—he and Lola were already wearing theirs. The scientist was screaming furiously and begging by turns, flailing his legs, which made it harder for Kado to slip the bag over his lower half and secure it around his waist, which helped measurably with the smell.

  That was the odor, then: diarrhea. It was also why the scientist was both angry and desperate as he struggled to get to the bathroom. Except, he'd been heading to the airlock.

  The scientist—not one she knew well enough to name—paused suddenly in his screaming and Kado, quick as thought, had an airsick bag to his face just in time to catch the spew. Kado never flinched. He must have a stomach of stone.

  With his free hand, Kado struggled with a syringe he pulled from his pocket, stymied a bit because he couldn't pull the cap off with his teeth through the surgical mask but Lola helped him as Alexai held him steady. Kado pulled the guy's arm back and held it between his thighs then injected him in the vein.

  "That wasn't jellyfish venom, was it, Kado?"

  Kado peered closely at the expended syringe. "No."

  "Shouldn't you check before using it? Maybe color code them or something? Damn it, Kado!"

  Alexai was feeling the scientist's pulse. "He appears to be unconscious. Will that preclude more vomiting?"

  Kado shrugged.

  Lola shook her head. "Let's get him to the infirmary and clean him up. Does he have a fever?"

  "No," Alexai said.

  "Not meningitis."

  "Didn't you say there was no sign of infection in the bloodwork on Webber? Close as this is in time, seems like it's not an infection. Did you do a tox screen?" Lola asked.

  "Interrupted."

  "Find anything?"

  "LSD." Kado said. "In her purse."

  "Are you suggesting," the tech said, who'd been sobbing out her trauma, "that Dr. Polk took drugs? That's ridiculous!"

  "Maybe some of the food is contaminated," said Lola, brow furrowed. "Obviously, something else is going on and it came with your arrival."

  "Gangrene," Kado reminded her.

  "Oh, shit, you're right, Kado. No way Webber got gangrene in a couple of days. That's not from LSD either, is it? Was she diabetic?"

  Kado shook his head.

  "Could it be the gangrene is something different than the insanity and tummy trouble? Could it be botulism?"

  "Wrong symptoms."

  "Wait, don't they sterilize the food before sending?" Midori asked, her skin prickling with fear.

  "That kills germs that are active, like salmonella," Lola explained. "But doesn't kill toxins like botulism, though you can inactivate it with heat. So it has to be something else. But what? Look, Midori you and, um, Alexai, right?"

  "Yes."

  "Go to the stores and print out all the new supplies we got the other day as well as who has eaten what of them and bring them to us at the infirmary? You know where that is?"

  "We'll follow you. We can check at the gateway at the lab, can't we?"

  "Shit, yeah, you can. But then you'll need to track down people who might have eaten something that will make them sick. Can you do that? When we get to the infirmary, I'll announce to everyone not to eat anything from the new shipment."

  Somehow, while carrying the unconscious Dr. Polk between them, Kado and Lola kept up a pace that Alexai and Midori could barely match. Even the tech was falling behind. Kado swung the doctor into the infirmary and began strapping him down, which was good since he was starting to show signs of life. Lola followed and plugged her head into a gateway at the station. "Plug in out there and check supplies," she shouted to them and the tech, wheezing now, squeezed past them into the infirmary. "Kado, what lab results are you wanting?"

  "Spectrographic assay."

  "Okay it's throwing lots of numbers at me. Did you set ranges?"

  "Yes."

  "So, looking for anything in red. Couple things yellow here and there but nothing, hey, what about this? Lysergic acid."

  "Bingo."

  "That's our contaminant?"

  "LSD." Kado looked up from the now-mumbling form of Dr. Polk. "But, something . . ." Kado flicked the cap off an empty syringe and jammed it into Dr. Polk's arm, drawing blood. "Run this," he said, handing a bandaid to the tech to slap over the puncture wound.

  "You do it. I'm still looking at results. I'm guessing you don't think Polk takes LSD? So, is there something else that has that signature?"

  "Yes."

  "Hey, kids, you got anything out there?"

  Alexai was the one pressed to the interface. "All the standard victuals are untouched in storage, to be brought out when the current stores are used up."

  "Could it be something gone bad in our existing stores," Midori asked.

  Lola was still on her interface. "I'm not seeing anything that looks like infection, no other unusual chemicals. And the timing's a little too perfect. Look at the crew preference packages. Most crew can choose special favorite foods to come up that doesn't go through the normal process and rigor. Y'know, like candy bars or—wait, what did Webber bring up? The timing fits. Her stash would become public property after her death."

  "Spun honey, chipotle mayonnaise, whole grain rye bread, gourmet pastrami." Alexai said. "Sounds disgusting. I hate rye."

  "Me, too, but the others this morning were acting like someone brought them ambrosia. Could it be the mayonnaise? Could it have gone bad?" Midori asked.

  "No one else ate it," Alexai said.

  Kado was watching the screen on the machine where he fetched the blood sample. "Bread! Eureka!"

  L
ola jerked her head back. "The bread? Really? Who had the bread, Alexai?"

  "Dr. Polk, Dr.Patel and . . ."

  "At least three codeslingers," Midori finished. "Brent, Simon and Luke."

  Lola was back on the interface. "What about Michael? He's on shift. So what is it?"

  "No bread for Michael," Alexai said.

  "Well that's something. Kado, why do we think the bread's suspect?"

  "Ergot."

  "Ergot, got it, ergotism. Toxin related to LSD, so same signature. Made from fungus on grain, particularly rye. Can cause delusions, tummy trouble, spasms and, over time, gangrene as extremities lose circulation. Wonder if it combines with LSD to be extra bad?"

  "Wouldn't it bake out of the bread?" Midori asked.

  "Toxin is what gets you, not the fungus. Fungus dies. Toxins live on. Alexai, put a restriction on all of Webber's foods, including the bread. Let's not take chances. Let's go round up the stragglers before they hurt themselves. You, tech, what's your name?"

  "Suzy Miller."

  "You look after Dr. Polk. Hopefully, the toxin will wear off without other ill effects if he doesn't go nuts. There are some antiseptic wipes in the cabinet, a gown and some diapers if you need them." Kado placed two air sick bags in her hand. Kado and Lola joined them right outside the door. "That leaves four more to track down. I don't want anyone to try to tackle them on their own. Midori, why don't you come with me and Kado you go with Alexai."

  "No." Kado's single syllable left no room for argument.

  "Damn it, Kado, they're both newbies. Fine, you stubborn nut. At least, give them some anesthesia. And look at them this time, no poison by mistake." Kado obediently fished out two syringes, gave them to Alexai.

  Alexai inspected them. "They say, SP, is that correct? What's the dosage?"

  "1000mg."

  "Sodium pentathol, Kado? Okay, that'll work. Won't last long, though, and you've got to get it into a vein, don't just stab 'em randomly. Can you give someone reluctant an IV injection? Like you mean it?"

  "Yes. I worked my way through college as an EMT," said Alexai.

  "Good. Midori, you've got to help hold em down so he can inject them. Might be tough, you might need to talk them down if they're really wild. And, after you've injected them, get them back here quickly. Won't last very long, ten minutes at the outside, so stick 'em and bring 'em back quick. Don't have enough beds, but you there are enough restraints. Got any idea where to find them?"

  Alexai sighed. "I know where Luke likes to hang out. And Brent is probably in the gym."

  "That's right. He goes after I finish my post-shift workout, and I would be about done. If he's not there now, he will be shortly unless. . . . Well, be as quick as you can. We'll get Dr. Patel and then see if we can track Simon down. Let's go."

  Inside the infirmary, Dr. Polk began to screech as his tech tried to soothe him.

  Midori followed Alexai, who moved with alacrity back toward the airlock. "Where does Luke, er, hang out? He's got a—wait!"

  Luke's smarmy cackle reached them as he slipped, with every appearance of cheerfulness, his naked self into the airlock, his hand busy on his exposed penis.

  Midori pushed off as she saw Lola and Kado do, shooting forward, and caught him by the elbow of his busy arm. "Stop, Luke, you're hallucinating!"

  Luke just braced against the inside of the airlock and nearly dragged her in with him since she was unanchored. Alexai literally shoved his body between, also pushing against the outside of the airlock so he couldn't be pulled in as well. "She's not going with you, Luke."

  "Party pooper!" Luke said, still laughing maniacally. "Guess I get the fun to myself. Dickhead!" He kicked Alexai, sending them both tumbling, and closed the airlock, still laughing.

  Alexai and Midori detangled themselves and slammed themselves against the airlock, trying to get him to listen, but he just laughed, and kept laughing until he pushed the button that evacuated the chamber and set him drifting out to space.

  "Shit," Alexai said, with feeling. "He was a total dick but I didn't want him to die."

  Midori was already heading back to the lab section. "Let's get Brent before he does something stupid."

  Alexai said nothing as they pushed themselves down the corridor toward the gym. She liked that he was quiet in much the same way she liked that Lola was not. "Thank you for saving me."

  "No one's taking anyone else with them, not on my watch. Not his fault, but I won't let innocent people get killed." He said that with such fierceness, she thought there must be more to it, but Alexai said nothing else.

  When they neared the gym, Midori heard Brent before she saw him, his sobbing leaking out as noise so readily did with the metal walls. "When we get in," Alexai whispered, "make sure you're always holding a handhold. He's bigger and stronger than either of us, but he doesn't have the edge if he's not anchored. Just stay calm."

  Midori nodded and slipped through the door. Brent was curled in the corner, sobbing. Brent was a large man, maybe 180-185 cm, with arms bristling with lean muscles wrapped around his knees. Her 143 cm body never felt so tiny. Midori approached him cautiously, always maintaining a hold on a handhold as she moved along the wall. "What's wrong, Brent?"

  Brent shifted as she approached, his face a study in misery and suspicion. "Get back. I know you hate me, too. I'm going to die, I know it. My hands are burning."

  "I don't hate you," she said, inching closer then froze as she saw the oversized knife in his hand, some sort of survival blade.

  "You hate me. Everyone hates me. I can't help it. I didn't want to be a codeslinger, trapped forever in this bloody sardine can. Never to run or walk again. Never to swim again. Do you know what that means? To never to swim again? That was my life. Everything I was was in that pool."

  Midori knew Alexai was also approaching, so she tried to keep him focused on her, scooting just a little closer. "Oh, I get it. No one you have ever met gets it like I do. I was an ice skater, three time world champion. Guaranteed to go to the Olympics this year. But, when I won the gold medal, the angry American who got silver shot me, leaving me for dead or codeslinging. No more playing in the surf or lying in the sun. No more gardens and rainstorms. And never—never—will I fly over the ice again, leap and soar like a bird with only that tiny stream of water beneath the blade to keep me from taking wing. I get it."

  "It's not the same. You're lying. You're just saying that because you knew I made the Olympic swimming team."

  "I didn't know you made it. I didn't know you were an athlete though I can see it now. Talk to me, Brent. Put the knife down."

  "It doesn't go down, see?" Brent left it floating in front of him. "Nothing goes down. Nothing makes sense here. Everything's crazy and upside down and locked inside metal walls with every damn thing the same. I can't take it."

  "Brent, let me help you."

  "No!" And he snatched the knife and brandished it in her face. She could see her own face reflected in his gateway, pixie face, chin length straight black hair, eyes wide with fear, the scar that crept from her hair nearly to the edge of her gateway. "Maybe I'll take all of us with me. Maybe NOVA will give up on space if we're all dead and no one will get branded with this monstrosity again." He banged the knife on his gateway.

  He waved it again, and there was something in the desperation in his eyes that made her move. She knocked his hand away, and careened into him, holding him against the wall with her hand on a handhold. Then she pressed her gateway to his. "See me, know I'm telling the truth. That's what it is to skate, to fly, to defy gravity and soar on the ice. Can you feel it?" She lived it so he could live it, too.

  "Yeah," Brent said in a voice of awe. Midori felt Alexai move beside her, take Brent's knife arm.

  "Now I have to find new dreams, new ways to soar just as you do. It won't be easy, but I'm going to try. Will you try with me?"

  "Yeah," he said, as his eyes closed and his consciousness disappeared on her gateway.

  "That was
foolhardy," Alexai offered.

  "Maybe. But it worked. One less corpse. Let's get him to the infirmary."

  Lola and Kado were there with a babbling Dr. Patel going through the periodic table to himself, trussed up on the wall.

  "Haven't been able to find Simon, but Patel didn't give us any problems. Any luck?"

  "We lost Luke to the airlock. Will probably need to clean it," Alexai said as he did the same trussing to Brent. "Couldn't get to him in time. And Brent is just sad, probably not that different than normal."

  "Pity about Luke but, no offense, he was a total shit. So, that just leaves Simon. Any ideas where we might find him?"

  Midori found her eyes prick with tears. "You're awfully damn callous. We just saw a human being die."

  "Yeah, I've seen half a dozen up here, most of 'em by choice. Some people can't take it, can't do it. You can't stop 'em from taking the airlock if that's what they want."

  Alexai shook his head. "Not sure he wanted it, but he left happy."

  "Well, that's something. Any ideas about Simon?"

  The PA came on. "Alright, you losers. Just so you know, I'm in charge now. So, this time I'm imposing Protocol 3 and there's nothing you nancies can do about it. Shuttin' down everything. Then, as soon as I can figure out how to make it work, I'll be turning off the air conditioning and such and I'll watch y'all choke to death as I laugh my ass off. Or maybe there's a self-destruct in this aluminum oversized coffin."

  "Shit, he's in my office. Kado, let's go."

  Alexai and Midori followed. "Midori might be able to help. She talked Brent down," Alexai said, keeping pace better now. He seemed to pick up the knack and Midori copied him, though he had some length on her.

  "Good, we'll go in first and see if we can defuse the situation.

  "Don't like it," said Kado.

  "You come right behind and, if he gets violent, you can get involved. Not sure Alexai can fit in. Damn it, I left my goo gun who-knows-where."

  "I'll be backup," Alexai said calmly.

  "Okay, here we are. Bastard's locked it, but I'm the only level one gateway. Nothing outranks me. Be prepared in case he tries something when I open the door."

  The door opened at the touch of Lola's gateway, and she slipped in, Midori on her heels.

  Simon, his face twisted by madness and fear, lunged, some strange object in his hand. "You won't touch me again, you homicidal bitch!" But Kado slid his body between, holding firm by way of two handholds even as his body was wracked with convulsions.

  "That prick found the taser! Kado!" Lola screeched.

  But Kado either wouldn't or couldn't let go so they couldn't reach Simon with Kado in the way. Looking around Kado's quivering body, she saw Alexai shoot himself into the room, knocking Simon against the wall with a heavy thud. He slapped the taser from Simon's hand and held him in a headlock, not unlike what he used before.

  Levelheaded Lola was crying and slapping Kado's face, calling his name, but he hadn't yet reacted. "Let me do that, Lola."

  "You can't have him. He's mine!"

  "I know. But you're the only one who can undo whatever Simon did to the system. Get it straightened out before something irreversible happens. Alexai's got him."

  Lola blinked at her, as if the idea was burrowing into her brain manually. Kado chose that moment to cough and shake his head. "Bastard," he muttered, touched Lola's wet face lovingly, then turned to where Alexai had Simon. Midori nudged Lola over to the workstation where Lola dutifully used her gateway, but, whatever she was up to on the station, she wasn't letting up on Kado. "How many times do I have to tell you, Kado, to stop protecting me? I've had more combat training than you and if you get yourself killed on account of me, I will never forgive you. Don't you remember what I told you last time?"

  "Yeah," Kado growled, pulling Simon's arm and a syringe out. With no gentleness, he jabbed the needle into the vein and plunged the plunger. When Simon sagged, he tossed the capped syringe.

  "What was that, Kado? You didn't kill him, did you?"

  "I did."

  Alexai retrieved the needle. "Says SP."

  Kado slapped his own head. "Wrong syringe."

  Lola, apparently finished, turned off the station and grabbed Kado, shaking him with her legs locked around her seat for leverage. "You can't just kill people because they threaten me, got it? And he's not sane. He's been poisoned. Let's get 'em back to the infirmary so they can sleep this off."

  And, just like that, it was over.

  As if nothing had happened, Midori fell into her routine, worked out most days with Lola, talked to Kado when she met him, though she did most of the talking, got more comfortable with programming and her coworkers now that Luke was out of rotation. There was some awkwardness with Simon and Brent, but Simon got over it quickly. Brent, Brent was quiet.

  So, she went to find him in the gym after Lola retired with Kado. Brent eyed her warily when she came in. "I guess I should apologize."

  She shook her head. "I wasn't lying. I do get it. But I believe we can make a life here. Want to try it with me?"

  "Yeah."

  Midori smiled, for perhaps the first time since she started her second life.