Gods and Demons in Love

  *****

  Nate Lee

  Today, I was helping Silk take some of the children from her class on an outing in the countryside, or rather, Nathan was. I'd added more and more detail to his personality until he seemed almost a separate self. Nathan was simple and good natured, helpful, cheerful, and friendly. He was a little lazy and utterly without ambition. He tended to take the easy path unless driven otherwise by Silk.

  Nathan was nothing like Nate Lee, but these days it was often easier to let Nathan take over the running of things while I sat back and observed. We were in a van, six pre-teen children, Silk, and myself. The children were noisy, laughing and talking among themselves. Silk was driving. She peered ahead at the rough dirt track that led to the site of the battle that was the subject of their study. We passed between leafless trees surrounded by dead brown grass. The sky spit a scattering of hail down onto the front window of the van. Clever little blades of some flexible material wiped away the wet. Razor would have liked this toy.

  "Give it to me!"

  "No!"

  I glanced back at the students. They were pretending to argue over who should have one of their garments. It looked like a pink jacket. The argument was obviously just a pretense for touching, the sort of thing young humans did when they were ready to mate but didn't know how to start the process. I glanced away. None of them had reached puberty, so there would be no more than play today. There were three females and three males. An even number of couples. They would match up by dominance in their group. It required no intervention from me.

  I smiled and turned in my seat so I could watch Silk in profile as she drove. She seemed oblivious to the activity behind her as she peered intently at the road ahead. The way forked, and she steered to the right. Her mouth was set with determination, but there was an air of excitement about her as well. This was her passion, this history of blood and death. These pointless battles and their meaningless outcomes truly mattered to Silk. I could not understand why, but as Nathan, I supported her research as I supported everything she did.

  After a few more minutes of lurching along the ill maintained road, Silk stopped the vehicle in the middle of a clearing that looked no different from any of the others we'd passed through. She turned off the noisy engine and stood to face the children.

  "This is the location of the final battle of the fourth Grand Campaign," she told them. And there was a singing note in her voice, like the voices of bards of old. The children grew silent and listened to her with a respect that surprised me.

  "We're going to get out here," she told them at last. "And you will maintain a quiet and respectful demeanor. This is where your ancestors died so that you might live."

  When she had their assent, Silk opened the door of the van. I stepped out first onto the wet, snow covered ground and took her hand to help her down. She was wearing her tan, hooded cloak again. The wind whipped it around her legs, and strands of her long dark hair blew out from under the hood.

  The children followed her, looking around wide-eyed, as if expecting to see phantoms of their ancestors still on the field. I could have told them there were no lingering spirits here. And if there had been, they would have fled from my presence. But I was being simple, amiable Nathan today, so I just grinned at Silk and said nothing.

  Silk led the children to where a trio of blasted trees stood blackened and ruined at one side of the clearing and began her lecture. Something appalling had happened here long ago in a tide of fire and death. I suppressed a yawn and strolled into the trees.

  The woods called back older memories than those Silk knew. I remembered running in the form of a wolf through the forest of a shaman's dream world. I remembered meeting Mammoth, the avatar of her kind, and I remembered destroying her and so destroying all those like her, forever. I smiled again. The memory of Mammoth's surprise when she realized that I was no ordinary wolf had been a thing of joy to me. I glanced down at my ring, and it seemed to me that I could still hear her roars of fear and rage from deep inside the ruby.

  I looked into the seething heart of the stone and remembered who I was. I was not the friendly, cheerful, compliant Nathan of Silk's dreams. I was unique in power and will. Today, I would reveal myself. Today I would learn the heart's desire of this very last far daughter of Laheese. I would grant her wish, and then I would be free.

  I looked up at the gray and windy sky, feeling tiny chunks of ice lash against my face.

  I would be free.