The Noble Mr. Prickles

CHAPTER FOUR

  Lazarah and Jack had laid Advan across the back of his horse and tied its reigns between those of their own rides. They went as fast as they could towards the Northern Forest, hoping that they would not be too late to rescue Javan. If half of what they had heard about the Mad Forester was true, he could be doing anything to their mentor from eating him alive to dressing him up as a pixie princess and making him dance in the moonlight.

  Neither of them wanted to face the Forester. They would much rather fight a thousand angry drunks in the tavern than face this one mad wizard, but Javan's life was at stake, and since Javan was the only one who could retrieve the rose petal and save Orvan, the entire kingdom depended on his rescue.

  They entered the dark wood and slowed their horses to a steady trot following the path. They could see fresh hoof prints and bits of banana peals and they knew they were on the right trail. Javan and the monkey had been through here. After about an hour in the forest the tracks disappeared. Jack was an expert tracker and he could see that Javan's horse had stopped abruptly and then a man who was enormous, but light on his feet, approached him.

  "This is where the Forester found him," Jack said. "But the trail ends. I don't know where they went from here."

  "We have to find him!" Lazarah said. Jack had never known her to cry, but a combination of fear and concern for Javan had brought the girl to the point of tears. "Javan! Javan! Can you hear me?"

  Javan did not respond, but someone else did. From the trees above them they heard a chimpanzee screeching at them. They looked up and saw Mr. Prickles hanging from a branch with a look of pure terror in his eyes.

  "The monkey!" Jack said. "Mr. Prickles, come here! Come on, boy!"

  The chimp climbed down the tree and then jumped into Jack's arms.

  "Maybe he knows where Javan was taken," Lazarah said.

  "How would he tell us?"

  The chimp almost seemed to understand them. He pointed into the woods and made a whimpering sound. Jack felt like a fool taking guidance from a monkey, but it was the best lead he had to go on. Mr. Prickles buried his head in Jack's chest as he and Lazarah drove their horses off the path and into the woods where the chimp had indicated.

  It was eerily silent. There wasn't even the sound of crickets. That made it easier to hear the sound of singing when it reached their ears a few moments later. It was Javan, and he was singing loudly, off key, and in elvish. Lazarah recognized the song as a child's lullaby she had heard once when traveling with her father when she was seven.

  "Sing it again!" came a booming voice. "Sing it again, Monkey Man!"

  "That's Javan singing," Lazarah said. "And that other voice must be the Mad Forester."

  As they crept closer, Advan woke up. He got himself seated on his horse and then asked the others what was going on.

  "It's about time you woke up, you drunk," Jack said. "We're about to go into combat."

  "Excellent!" Advan said. "With whom? Centaurs? Giants?"

  "The Mad Forester," Lazarah told him.

  Had Advan's horse not still been tied between the other two he would have turned around and drove off. Dwarfs hated magic, and Advan hated it more than most. He did not want to face an insane wizard in a dark forest.

  "Why would you fools want to fight with that maniac?"

  "He has Javan," Lazarah explained. That was all that Advan needed to hear. His demeanor changed instantly and he had his sword out and ready in seconds.

  They came across a clearing with a fire burning in a pit in the center of it. The flames were blue, a sure sign of wizardry, and a man sat at the fire roasting a piece of meat. He was huge, at least seven feet high, and he wore dark green wizard's robes. His face was old and wrinkled, but his eyes were childish, mischievous, and if the eyes truly are the window to the soul, his was pure insanity. He had a snow white beard that fell well below his belt and his white hair was long and silky. Javan's voice was coming from above him. Jack and Lazarah looked up and saw Javan in a giant bird cage suspended twenty feet in the air. He was still singing the elven lullaby.

  "Is that?" Jack asked.

  "Aye, lad," Advan said. "It surely is. That is the Mad Forester as sure as my beard is brown."

  "Ah!" the man by the fire said, standing and coming towards them. "More company! It's been ever so long. And you're just in time for another song." He turned and looked up at Javan. "Monkey Man! Sing me that song about the ogre prince's bride. If it doesn't amuse me, I shall eat your friends!"

  Javan looked down at the three warriors and shrugged in exasperation. The song was an old drinking song that he and Advan used to sing often and he began singing it now.

  "And what, pray tell, may I do for you fine folks this evening?" the Mad Forester asked Jack, Lazarah, and Advan.

  Jack didn't expect much, but he thought he would give it a shot. "We would like your Monkey Man, if you don't mind sir."

  "Mind?" the Forester repeated. "Of course I mind, you fool! I just procured him and he is very entertaining! Don't you think so?"

  "Her hair was as slimy as a frog's back side!" sang Javan. "The ogre prince's ugly bride!"

  "In fact," the Forester said, "I think he needs company!"

  Lazarah disappeared in a flash of light and found herself next to Javan in the cage. Without even thinking about it, she joined him in the song. She had never heard it before, but she somehow knew all of the words and felt compelled to sing them.

  "Lazarah!" Jack yelled. "You monster! Let her go!"

  "Now, now, my young friend," the Forester said, "I am not completely unreasonable. You may win your friends' freedom, if you can defeat me."

  "Gladly," Advan said. He cut the ropes binding his horse to the others with his sword and then charged full speed at the Mad Forester. He swung his mighty little blade intending to swipe the wizard's head from his body. The Forester didn't move. As Advan brought the weapon down for the kill he was astonished to discover that he was holding a bunch of rotted stinkweed instead of his sword. He was so surprised he actually screamed in terror and fell off of his horse.

  "Please," the Forester said. "You don't think that I meant physical combat, do you? No, I'd be much more impressed if you could best me in a battle of wits."

  As quickly as Lazarah had been transported to the bird cage, the four warriors and the frightened chimpanzee found themselves sitting around the blue fire in a circle with the Mad Forester.

  "I'm sure you are familiar with the concept of a riddle contest," the Forester began. "I know that no mere human mind could solve a riddle of my making. Maybe the noble Mr. Prickles could, if he was capable of speech, but none of you. So I won't even try to challenge you. But, if any of you can think of a riddle that I cannot answer, I will let you go free this very hour. If not, you will all sing for me until I tire of your voices and turn you into a very fine stew."

  "What if we refuse your little game?" Javan asked.

  "Try and escape," the wizard said, "if you want to spend the rest of your life as a slug."

  None of them doubted the power behind that threat, so they had no choice but to try to come up with the impossible, a riddle to stump the wizard.

  "We'll begin with you," the Forester said, pointing to Lazarah.

  Lazarah was never any good at riddles, but she did know a few. She thought for a moment and then chose the one she believed to be the hardest.

  "What is-"

  Before she even got it out of her mouth the wizard said, "A stopped clock! Come on, that one is older than I am!"

  "How can you give an answer before she even asks the question?" Advan demanded.

  "Advan," Lazarah said, "he was right. A stopped clock was the answer."

  "Now you," the Forester said to Jack.

  "Okay," Jack said, "Two fathers and two sons..."

  "There are three men in the boat," the wizard interrupted. "There are two fathers because one is the grandfather of the other one. Come on, you pathetic little fools. Challenge me!"

 
Javan was next. He didn't even get a chance to open his mouth when the wizard said with a grin that the answer was red. Then the Mad Forester turned to the dwarf.

  "This ought to be interesting," he said. "Dwarfs' minds are harder to read, so I have no idea what you are about to ask me. However, you seem so simple that I have no doubt you will be unable to challenge my intellect."

  Advan grinned and said, "Okay then, Forester, is you are so sure...what is the difference between roast beef and pea soup?"

  Javan gaped at him in awe, having never heard this riddle before. Jack and Lazarah had to stifle a laugh and try to change their thoughts to something else so that the wizard could not pull the answer from their minds. Mr. Prickles screeched.

  "The difference between roast beef and pea soup," the Forester repeated. "An interesting riddle. One I admit I haven't heard before."

  "Stop stalling, Forester," Advan said. "What is your answer?"

  "I-" the wizard looked baffled. "I... I do not know the answer to your riddle, dwarf. I don't know how, but you have beaten me." Evidently, the Mad Forester had never been bested by anyone before and he was horrified by the idea. His face began to contort and the warriors braced themselves for some sort of magical retaliation. He began to utter some unintelligible sounds that the humans were sure were the beginnings of some terrible spell. None of them were prepared for what the wizard actually did next. He let out a loud wail, tears streaming down his wrinkled face, and sobbing like a child he said, "You and your friends are free to go."

  Advan's companions cheered him and stood to leave, Mr. Prickles threw the remainder of his last banana at the wizard in triumph, and Advan, who had won countless battles against foes ten times his size, had never relished so in a victory. They all mounted their horses and started to leave the clearing.

  "Wait!" the Forester cried.

  "You are not going back on your word, are you wizard?" Advan asked him.

  "No, of course not," he replied. "I may be crazy, but I still am a man of my word. Just tell me, please, the answer to your riddle."

  "Simple," Advan said as he kicked his horse gently in the sides, "anyone can roast beef!"

  The Mad Forester looked confused, as if it would take him a while to work out exactly what the dwarf meant by that. He did manage to compose himself a bit, though he was still crying when he walked over to Javan's horse on which the man sat with the monkey again on his lap. The wizard extended his pinky finger and touched Mr. Prickles between his eyes. There was a flash of light and the monkey screeched and slapped at the wizard,

  "What did you do to him?" Javan asked, surprised that he was actually concerned for his furry companion.

  "Just a small favor," the Forester said. "You'll see what it was when the time is right. Now, off with you! I have to sit down and figure out the answer to that blasted dwarf's intriguing riddle!"

  The four warriors went off to find the path, leaving the Mad Forester behind. It took him a while to figure out what the riddle meant, but as soon as he got it he began to laugh. Javan and his friends traveled another two hours before they finally emerged from the Northern Forest, and they could hear the Mad Forester's laughter until they reached the edge of the woods.

  While they rode, Jack and Lazarah told Javan and Advan what Kanaro had told them. Suddenly this mission was not just a foolhardy idea of a crazy king's pet dog, but a quest to save the Kingdom of Dargod and its allies from an invasion.

  "But what the devil could Mr. Prickles possibly have to do with anything?" Javan asked as they emerged from the forest, one mile south of the border to the Kingdom of the Northern Giants.