Crushed Seraphim

  He answered her because He would never lie. “Both, my child. He gave you both.”

  God’s eyes filled with tears. Emma tried not to pause as she reached behind her and grabbed her brand new soft, white wing. She pulled as hard as she could and ripped it from her back. The pain caused her to scream and collapse. She hefted the wing in front of her. While she panted with agony, she tested the weight. It didn’t seem heavy enough by itself.

  She started to cry and God reached for her, His arms open as if for a hug. But she shook her head. Before she could lose her nerve she ripped the other manifestation of His love from her back, her screams filling the room again. The transformation was quick. She reverted to human in an instant. Her heart began to beat, and she took a deep breath of the stagnant air.

  Her wings were too heavy for her to carry, so she dragged them as she crawled back to God. He lifted her into His lap, hugging her hard and touching her wounded back. Judging from the puddles of silver on the ground, God was healing her.

  “My child, I love you so. Your pain is my pain.” God’s tears combined with hers on her cheek.

  Even sitting in His lap, she felt farther from Him than she had when she’d been an angel a world away. “Please, take my wings and let’s see if they’re enough, if they can hold the bed down for us,” Emma begged. “I’ll come back to stay here and take my wings’ place if the Devil demands his due, but first let’s right the world.”

  Emma would have laughed at the image of a full-grown woman sitting in Santa’s lap in Hell, but her soul had just been ripped in half by her own hands. She scooted down to sit on the mattress, and God reluctantly got up. He lifted her wings with ease and set them behind her on the bed.

  “Your sacrifice will hold, my child.” God gathered the crying Emma in His arms, holding her close to His chest.

  She snuggled into His fuzzy red jacket and closed her eyes. God would carry her to the surface, and then they could make plans together.

  Chapter 10

  Emma reveled in the comfort of God’s arms. His waves of pure, undiluted love could heal any wound. She stopped shaking as the mental and physical torture she’d endured faded away. She felt God kiss her hair, but she refused to open her eyes, not wanting to see what was making the horrible noises in Hell. Her hair came loose and tumbled around her shoulders again.

  The void.

  She knew they were now traversing the space she’d fallen through to get to Hell, and that the Devil had just been through in his quest to enter the world. He’d no doubt fought a raging battle, but God would jump, dodge, and send out beams of power to protect her, as well as Himself. She loved it like this. He made all the right decisions, and she was safe. Safe in Hell with God. Soon God’s love was so warm it felt like sunlight on her face.

  She realized they were at the surface when God chuckled softly. “My daughter, my sweet seraph, you must wake. I can’t carry you forever.”

  She snuggled deeper in his arms like a sleepy child on a Monday morning.

  “We have work to attend to, but holding you makes me feel so proud. I did a wonderful job with you, if I do say so myself.” He set Emma on her feet, and she reluctantly faced the present.

  She remembered her manners and nodded at Him. “Thank You, Sir.”

  God took in the sky above them, looking for falling angels. When He gazed at her again, it was with infinite patience. He would never rush her, even if the world were threatening to upend itself.

  “Sir, may I make confession?” Emma knelt before Him. His fuzzy red pants and black boots became her confessional.

  God put his hand on her head. “If it will give you comfort, my child.”

  “Sir, I’ve done a lot wrong lately, but the worst, by far, was doubting You.” Emma clasped her hands together more tightly. She was almost used to her human form again, with its thumping blood and rhythmic breathing. “How can You hold me in Your arms when I failed to believe in Your power?” She needed His forgiveness. Whatever would come with the rest of the day, she could face it knowing she was right with God.

  God took her prayer-filled hands and pulled her until she stood. Still, she kept her head down. “Emma. I forgive you for doubting me.” He wouldn’t let go of her hands. “Will you do me the same courtesy?”

  She looked to His face in shock. “Of course not! I could never — ”

  God touched her cheek. “You would never imagine that I could make a mistake. I know, seraph. You’re so hard on yourself. I gave my children free will, and that gift may have wrought more pain than I would ever want for you.”

  Emma leaned into His chest. He was the softest sun. He pulled her into a hug.

  “Imagine what it was for me to watch you run into the barn to save your horse. As much as I love you, to let you step into that inferno?” He stroked her hair. “I never wanted to see you in pain, but I had to let you make that choice, Emma. Without tough choices there would be no souls entering Heaven at all. It’s an incredible burden. I fight with myself every moment of this world’s existence. To hear the prayers and let some go unanswered — sometimes it still feels like a mistake to me. My children come to me with open hearts and needs, and yet…and yet, they must live their lives as they wish.” He gave a deep sigh, the burden of a thousand forevers.

  Emma smiled into His Santa coat. “Okay, God. I forgive You for trusting me. I promise to trust You in return.”

  He patted her back, and she had to convince herself to step away from Him.

  “I think I’m back to full power. Emma, are you ready for more wings?” God smiled into her face, like it was just a regular old day.

  “No, Sir. We have too many angels to reinstate and save. We have to locate Everett. I think it’s best if You save Your power for the next angel.” Emma tried to ignore her body’s craving for God’s goodness.

  He nodded, always respecting her decisions. “I’m not surprised you put others before yourself,” He said. “You do have free will as a human again. Please be gentle with yourself for me.”

  Emma smiled, waiting to see what God would do next.

  “My time here is limited, as you know,” He said. “A full twenty-four hours and I’ll start an apocalypse that won’t stop. I think your time would be best spent finding Jason.” God patted her shoulder.

  Emma nodded. Her heart wanted to find the half-breed. She wanted to thank him for praying and releasing her from the Devil’s snare.

  God smiled and began to glow brightly. Emma tried to watch Him as long as she could as He transformed from a man to so much more. The light He emitted created green grass, flowing life from underneath the snow. The faces of countless lovely souls passed through the light as God rounded up His most recently departed children.

  Her human eyes had to drop to the ground. When she looked back up, God was gone. Emma sighed. The loss of His power was devastating. She looked at her feet and saw that God had added snow white boots, a coat, and white leggings to her silky gown.

  Both God and Jason had a penchant for dressing girls in warm clothes. She tried to orient herself. Jason’s house was to the west, so she began to make the trip, walking like the mortal she had become.

  It had been not even an hour when she encountered a random mist — a patch of smoke. The moment she walked into it, the smell was undeniable. It was the Devil’s sweet cigarette smoke that acted as his pet. Then Emma saw his forearm and hand poking out of the snow. Son of a bitch. He’s like a never-ending virus.

  She let the rage of her Hallway Hell consume her. Emma would not help him. She probably couldn’t help him. She took purposeful steps past his seemingly disembodied hand. The sidelong glances she begged herself not to take told her his hand was stiff and dead-looking.

  But he can’t die — he’s already dead.

  She vacillated between choices. Satan had been on his way up here to hurt Everett. And Everett needed hurting. She stomped on. The angel in her refused to let Hell come to Earth. Emma was here to defend it, even if her wings w
ere weighing down a horrible scale, far from her body.

  First she’d find Jason, then she’d figure out what to do about the Devil. She’d not gone a hundred steps when she heard God’s voice so clearly in her head: “I did a wonderful job with you, if I do say so myself.”

  God would want her to save Satan. Emma knew He would. He loved all His children. Even the freaking Devil.

  “You know what? It sucks to be me.” Emma stomped back to the dead-looking hand.

  His forearm bore a detailed tattoo of a cross, music note, and a knife. He must have known beauty at some point and wanted to keep it on his skin.

  “This is so stupid. Honestly, this guilt I put on myself is crazy,” Emma said to no one in particular. She used her hands to dig the snow away from his arm. “His twisted ass is going to toss me right back into that cell.”

  Emma gulped at the memory of the fire. It should have been enough to stop her cold, but she kept digging. When it became clear that his arm was buried deep in the soil, not just the snow, Emma had to pause to find a long stick. She used it to loosen the dirt and wiggle his arm free. She uncovered it all the way to his shoulder, then shook her head at his lack of movement. He got so close. Just a few more feet and he’d have made it. Bastard.

  Suddenly his hand popped to life and grasped her arm tightly. She gasped. “Holy crap!” Her heart thudded wildly.

  She grasped the arm that grabbed her and pulled and pulled. The Devil was vomited forth from the soil as if it was a great mouth. Emma stumbled backward, and the Devil landed with his face in her lap.

  She started slapping at his evil head, but grew concerned when he didn’t respond. One of his ankles was still buried in the ground. Although he’d spent an unknown chunk of time entombed, he had not a speck of dirt on him. Emma flipped him off her lap and onto the ground. He was limp. His leather jacket fell open to reveal his bare chest. Emma felt for a heartbeat and, of course, got nothing.

  Damn it, he was moving just a few seconds ago. She threw her hands in the air and began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. After three gusty mouthfuls of air, she felt his hand grab the back of her head. He turned the rescue maneuver into a deep French kiss. Emma responded before she remembered she hated him. Then she pulled herself away, and he let go of her hair. His eyes remained closed as he touched his fingertips to his lips.

  “Emma the angel — that’s what this set of lips tastes like.” He opened one eye and smiled. “How in Hell are you here?” His delight reached his eyes.

  She stood up. “No thanks to you or your Hallway of Horrors.”

  Satan remained prone and looked to the sky. “It’s been a long fucking time since I’ve seen that.”

  He sat up and checked his guns and ammo. His ankle was still buried and Emma wasn’t quite sure why it bothered her so.

  I’ve saved him from the ground. My work here’s done.

  Emma pulled her hair away from her face and twirled it into a knot. “Well, I’m not sure where Everett is, but God’s free and He’s in Heaven, so you’re here for no reason at all.” She set off toward Jason’s home again, internally cursing Satan. Then she felt his hand clamp around her boot. She stopped and waited.

  He apologized quietly. “Emma, I wanted you to stay put. I never wanted you to face that Hallway.”

  She whirled to glare at him while thinking of Sam’s gunshots, the hologram of her father, and God.

  “It was designed perfectly to break me, so I find that a little tough to believe. You’re the Devil. All you can do is lie.” She tried to kick his hand off, but he would have none of it.

  “Please, look at me?” he asked.

  She stubbornly looked everywhere but his face. He waited. She gave an annoyed huff and glared at him.

  The regret was tangible on his face. “Princess, I have to do a thorough job. You have free will? I don’t. Not usually. You have courage? I don’t. Not usually. Believe me when I tell you I didn’t want to see you hurt. Not you.”

  He was so sincere. But Emma hated to concede him anything after what he’d put her through.

  “You got out.” She tried not to let her softening heart get into her words.

  “No, I almost got out. Without you I would be here for all eternity waiting for someone to have sympathy for the Devil. I tend to think it would have been a long time.” He had not released his iron grip, but his face was relaxed. “Can I say thank you?” He fluttered his alarmingly sexy eyelashes.

  “No. Up yours. I pulled you out for my conscience, not to save you. That was just a byproduct.” She wiggled and fidgeted, needing to find Jason.

  “You’re human now. God didn’t see fit to keep you on His guard?” He looked worried despite his taunting words.

  “No, Devil. He did. I ripped my wings off to keep the soul in balance so God could leave with me.” She remembered the pain of her loss and snarled at him.

  Then she was seized by regret. Maybe she shouldn’t have told him that. Maybe he could snap his fingers and have her back on the cot.

  He let go of her ankle and nodded. “I should’ve known. Of course you’d give your very redemption as freely as you gave your heart in life.”

  He pulled out his flask and took a deep drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when he was done.

  “If we’re done here, good luck with Everett. Kick ass and all that.” She readjusted her boot. His ankle being stuck still bothered her. “Are you going to be able to handle that?” she asked, gesturing toward it.

  The Devil smiled at her concern. “Yes, pretty child, there’s nothing I can’t handle.” He raked her body with a leering stare.

  She hugged herself and shook her head. “Okay, then I gotta go.”

  “Wait! Please stay for a few moments. I need to free myself before I’m comfortable with you leaving my side. I can feel Everett’s evil, and he’s not in Heaven anymore.” Satan pulled out a knife and started hacking at the soil around his foot. “Actually, he’s knee deep in half-breeds, if I’m judging correctly.” The Devil was using an extraordinary amount of force to try to free his ankle.

  “Well, to Hell with you. I’ve got to get to Jason.” Emma began backing away from the scene.

  “Emma? I have one last battle to fight before I’m allowed here on Earth. And this last beast? He has a taste for hope. He likes to eat it for dinner. When he busts through, which I gauge to be in about thirty seconds…” Satan pulled his foot free from the soil. His ankle was wrapped in a slender, green tentacle. “He’ll go straight for you. I’d prefer he had to go through me first. So if you’d be kind enough to stay behind me…” The Devil smiled and gestured to his side like he was offering her his spot on a crowded bus.

  The ground began to rumble. She staggered closer to Satan only because he was armed and seemed prepared. He caught her around the waist and pulled her against him.

  “Have no fear, beautiful. He’ll have to kill me to get you.”

  Satan kissed her lips gently, but Emma hardly noticed. Behind him a tremendous dragon-shaped evil emerged from the ground. It was at least twice the size of the tallest tree Emma had ever seen.

  Satan watched the beast reflected in her eyes. “Emma, look at me, don’t look at him. He searches for hope and kills it. You’re the brightest beacon for him. Stay behind me. I’m hoping my hate will mask you.”

  She tore her eyes from the bone-chilling beast and looked at the Devil’s handsome face.

  “Princess, if he gets to me and I fall, promise me you’ll run — ” The ground began curling and forming mounds from the force of the monster’s first earth-bound steps. “Run and pray to your God the whole time. Promise me. Do it now!”

  Emma swallowed hard. She couldn’t get her voice to work, so she nodded as fast as she could.

  Satan still held her. “Kiss me once more, angel. It will give me strength.”

  Emma grabbed both sides of his face and kissed his lips softly. “Bless you.”

  The sun was eclipsed now by the monster who seemed d
istracted by his non-fleeing prey. Satan smiled at her once more, then turned to stand between her and the scariest thing she could ever imagine.

  He drew a pistol and in one motion pointed it at the thing’s head. “Were you looking for this, asshole?” Satan had fantastic aim and in a flash he’d hit it right between its massive, rolling eyes.

  Emma hated gunshots — especially after Sam, after the eagle, after the Hell Hallway — but right now it was a comforting sound.

  Right after the echo of the firearm cleared, she heard Satan mutter, “Oh shit.”

  The monster didn’t flinch. The bullet bounced off it like a fly encountering a speeding car. She stepped closer to Satan’s back, clung to his leather jacket, and started to pray.

  Chapter 11

  Jason knew he was screaming her name, but he hardly recognized his own voice. The pain he felt was more than he should ever be allowed to survive. This horrible angel was holding him high above his brother and sister and cracking his skull.

  He clawed at Everett’s hands because he had to, and he managed to kick the evil angel during his flailing. The pain in his head lessened a tiny bit. Jason kicked him again. Everett grew wise quickly and spun Jason around. Now Jason faced away from Everett. He tried to kick again and his foot connected with nothing but air.

  Everett whispered in his ear. “Wouldn’t it be hilarious to watch a vampire bleed to death? Such irony.”

  Jason’s brain was going to crack; he felt liquid seeping from the fissures he knew were forming.

  Emma, he’s going to kill me. I’ll see you soon. Jason tried to take one last peek at the world he’d had so much trouble living in. He could barely open his eyes. When a tree appeared in the sky and arched above his head, he thought it was a delusion until it hit Everett with a thud.

  He heard Dean bellow, “I’m coming up!”

  Jason tried to wriggle free and found he could open his eyes a bit more.

  Dean appeared on the same flight path as the tree. He hurtled through the air like a rocket. After first throwing a tree like a javelin, he’d climbed to the top of the highest tree and jumped with all his might to defend his brother.