Crushed Seraphim

  “Please tell me you understand. I can’t just ignore Jack.” Emma tried to pull away.

  Jason wanted to keep her close. He knew the inevitable outcome. She would do what she thought was right. That might even be the reason she chose to stay with his half-breed family in the first place. Surely an angel would never be allowed to fall for the Devil.

  He blew out a frustrated breath. His embrace now felt like he was trying to hold an unwilling cat. He would wait for her. He knew he would. But he wasn’t quite ready to give in.

  “I don’t understand,” he said. “I say someone as old and experienced as Jack can help himself. But I know you’ll go, and before you do I need you to know I love you.” He opened his arms, but she didn’t step away.

  “Jason?” She seemed shocked.

  “You know I love you. And I’ll pray that you come back to me, and I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever if I have to.” He had spoken his truth.

  Emma reached up and touched his check. She smiled, but her eyes were sad.

  “Are you sure you’re talking about me? Emma? Not the angel left in me?” Her doubt was louder than her words.

  “Yes, it’s you. Just you I love.” He put his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t grab her up and run far away from the floating temptation he couldn’t see.

  She put her bright green eyes on his. “I’ll be back. This isn’t goodbye.”

  Emma stepped backward until she was right next to where Jason supposed Claudette was. Then quick as a wink, Emma was gone.

  Jason punched the closest tree. It was still weak from the battle a year ago and crashed spectacularly. He wished he had something to fight, like he did the last time she left. Being in his head was going to be awful.

  He looked at the sky, sure she was up there somewhere. She was without her wings, with only his love.

  Chapter 16

  Claudette placed a soft kiss on Emma’s cheek, and then they were traveling, angel style. Emma closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the rush, but all she could see was Jason’s eyes, helpless and hating that he had to let her go.

  She felt free, and that made her a traitor in her own mind. The half-breeds were her job now, her purpose. Leaving them was a personal failure.

  In the sky with Claudette’s wings so close, Emma could almost taste the goodness of being a seraph again. But I probably wouldn’t even have my job anymore.

  “I do believe you’ll always have your job, if you should want it.” Claudette’s voice was soft and almost like a song.

  You’re listening to my thoughts?

  “It’s part of what we do.” Claudette set Emma down on a hard, white path.

  You’re my Christmas Angel? Aren’t you a little early?

  “I had to fudge a few documents and wiggle a few requirements out of the way, but yes. I’m your temporary Christmas Angel.” Claudette patted her beautiful gown. “I have to go, though. I barely have time to let you in. Your half-breed is a chatty fellow.”

  She produced a key — a slim, silver hint of a needle — and wiped clouds out of the way until the door to Purgatory was revealed. The keyhole glowed white as the key came close, and the door hummed as Claudette inserted it. When the door opened, Claudette quickly pushed Emma through.

  “You’re not coming in?” Emma was surprised.

  Claudette peeked through the crack as she closed the door. “No, I have to run. Gabriel is looking for me. Good luck.” She banged the door shut in Emma’s face.

  “And how am I supposed to get out? Claudette?” Emma pounded on the door, but there was no response.

  Great. Well, Hell was a picnic. Can’t wait to see what the waiting room is like.

  Purgatory was white laminate. The floor, the ceiling, the walls — they all looked the same. Emma stepped farther into the room and when she turned back around, the seam that had indicated the door a moment before had disappeared.

  She turned again and the room was covered in little circle-shaped holes. When Emma peeked in, she found they were windows, and the people she could see in the rooms behind them seemed deep in thought. Then there was a smooth whoosh, and the doors to all the rooms materialized and slid open. Suddenly lightheaded, she sank to the floor and had to hold her knees for a few seconds. The setting reminded her of the Hallway in Hell a bit too much. She shook it off, stood up, and kept walking, peering in each doorway she passed.

  After a moment she came to a room that contained a face she recognized. Jack was wearing white scrubs, and the sight of him made her smile. She couldn’t help it. Emma had to duck to get through his low, rounded doorway. As she stepped in he sat on a white couch. He stared right at her and said nothing, but one hand trembled slightly, as if to silently protest its lack of cigarette.

  “Jack?” Emma sat in the chair opposite him.

  He looked her up and down thoroughly from her boots to her jeans to her white sweater. By the time he looked in her eyes, she had tingles everywhere.

  Damn, that man knows how to look at a woman.

  “I guess the choice was made for me,” he said snidely. “Bastards. It was a set-up after all. ‘Choose Heaven or Hell, it’s totally up to you.’” Jack made a fist.

  Emma held out her hand tentatively. He seemed confused. Jack’s forearm muscles grew more defined as his anger increased. Once again, she wasn’t entirely sure he was safe to be around.

  You’re a vampire now, Emma. Suck it up. You’ll be fine.

  “Jack, I’m here to help you make that choice.” She stood, agitated by her concern and unable to sit still.

  He stood as well and advanced on her. She bit her lip as he wrapped his arm around her waist. His lips were so close, and he still smelled so damn good. She knew her eyes were half-closed at the sheer nearness of him.

  “They did a great job this time,” he said appreciatively. “Usually, the girls look just a bit like my paramour. But this decoy is outstanding — except for the eyes.” His moving lips were as mesmerizing here as they’d been in Hell.

  She had to snap out of it.

  She spoke to him like she would have on Earth. “Hey, jackass, when you made me a tree-eating vampire my eyes turned green. So blame yourself for that one.”

  “Wait. What?” Confusion brought the light that was definitely Jack back to his eyes.

  His slow, sexy, white smile made her knees go weak. He wrapped his other arm around her for support.

  “Let me try something.” Jack gave her the softest, sweetest kiss on the mouth and licked his lips. “It is you. Emma.”

  “You’re so dirty. Couldn’t you just have asked me a few telling questions?” She hugged him back hard. He was so solid. He could still be saved. Her angel’s heart soared, and tears came to her eyes.

  “No, pretty child, I’ll always ID you by taste. How did you get in here?” Anger flashed in his handsome face as he looked around. “Are you in Purgatory too?”

  “No. No, calm down. Can we sit? I think I’m a visitor.”

  Emma sat on his couch, and he sat next to her, slinging his arm around her shoulders like they were on a date. They looked at each other and smiled at the same time. He was so happy he was almost vibrating. His eyes danced, and Emma had a feeling hers were dancing too.

  “Tell me why your choice is so hard to make. Why are you brooding in here?” Emma touched his jaw, trailing her thumb along his scruffy skin.

  He put a hand on her thigh. She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

  “The choice is obvious to you, Emma? Where would you have me go?” His eyes transformed from delighted to leery.

  She responded too quickly to be lying. “Heaven again. Of course.”

  He took his arm from around her and stood. She noticed he still had his old motorcycle boots.

  “Such faith so quickly. Your seraph heart beats true, even if that particular muscle has slowed.” He nodded as if to say she was doing a good job.

  “It’s not the Heaven in me that makes that choice. It’s who I believe you are,” Emma coun
tered. “I didn’t want you back in Hell. Losing you has tormented me. I should have done more. I could have done more.” She sighed in frustration.

  He batted his eyelashes like the professional flirt he was. “Tell me more about the torment. Was it mostly below the waist? I’m betting it was.”

  She ignored him and tried again to help him see the light. “When you were in Heaven you were misled. It can happen to all of us. I know what you did in that clearing. Jason told me he could hear your thoughts as you took his pain.” She stood and held his hand, loving that it was within her grasp. “You wanted me to believe God had answered my prayers.”

  Emma had to touch his lips to get his attention. He was trying valiantly to get away from his good deed. “And I said prayers for Jason’s safety, but also for yours. Now to see you here and know that God had a plan for you — I just…I’m overwhelmed.”

  “I have that effect on you, I know.” His words were teasing, as he intended, but his voice was husky as he touched his forehead to hers.

  They stood like that, so very close and holding hands. Each breath he took was her next one.

  Finally he kissed her nose. “How long do I have you for?”

  “I have no idea.” She pictured Jason’s sad eyes, his declaration to wait for her.

  “Your half-breed is treating you well?” Jack could sense the change in her and dropped her hands, giving her space.

  “He is. I’m a great help to them. Seriana in particular seems to need the assurance I can give her.” Emma tucked her now-lonely hands in her pockets.

  “You best get back,” Jack said. “I have no idea when I’m getting out.” He seemed to be looking for a cigarette, but his scrub pocket was empty.

  “You just have to decide on Heaven. I mean, it’s that simple, right? I know you hated Hell. And Everett is most likely the Devil now. You couldn’t go back there to face that.” Emma tapped her foot.

  This is such an easy choice. What keeps him here thinking?

  “Everett? I would school him so quickly it would be a joke.” A look of deep regret crossed his face. “Pretty child, pain and hate have been my best friends on many occasions. Remember, I’ve been the Devil longer than I’ve been anything else.”

  “And I’ve been an angel longer than I’ve been anything else, and I know good when I see it,” said Emma. She gave him a look that clearly said touché.

  “Princess, no matter which way I go, seeing you isn’t an option. That’s what makes this hard.” He looked at her so wistfully he almost missed an opportunity for the obvious innuendo, but at the last second he pointed to his crotch and raised his eyebrow.

  “You don’t think I’ll ever go to Heaven? Thanks a lot…but at least you don’t think I’ll go to Hell.” She took her hands out of her pockets and ran them through her hair.

  “Don’t,” he growled.

  She didn’t know what he was protesting until he’d crossed the distance between them, punching the wall as he moved. The door to his cubicle sealed shut as he gathered her roughly in his arms.

  “Don’t do that again. I can’t take it. The smell of your hair, the curve of your breasts.” He began whispering in her ear. “Don’t…move…at…all.” The words tickled her cheek. And her reason and good intentions melted like ice in hot water.

  “This pull I feel for you, it’s not natural,” she said. His chest was against hers, and all she really wanted to do was kiss him deeply, free his long hair from its leather bindings.

  He gave her a half-smile. “I’m twitching for you. I just want you. And hell no, it’s not natural.”

  Damn it.

  She undid the simple knot, and his hair framed his face. He closed his eyes as she ran her hands through the waves, just doing something to him, for him. Her stomach fluttered as he reacted to her touch.

  “Don’t tempt me. I’m actually begging you. You’re all I think about, and to have you want to touch me…” He shook his head, his eyes sad and tormented.

  She kissed Jack because she needed to, because she wanted to see his eyes dance.

  It was selfish, and it might be playing with his emotions, but he was so intense. He kissed her back but opened his eyes and curled his fists tightly, restraining himself.

  His lips were hot, and his skin tasted like sin. She ran a hand up his chest, inside his scrub shirt, and down again. She traced where she remembered his tattoo to be with her finger.

  “Emma, step back.” His voice was a warning she wasn’t sure she wanted to heed.

  I promised Jason I’d be back. I have to get a hold of myself.

  She did as he asked and apologized. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t nice of me.” She had more to say but no words came to express her regret. If it was even called regret anymore.

  He nodded and patted his scrubs for a cigarette again. It wasn’t there. “You know, you come to Purgatory with nothing but your thoughts and memories to help you make your decision. But I’d kill at least ten of the people in here for a pack of my smokes.” He sat in a hard-plastic lawn chair, one of many seating options strewn around the room.

  Emma sat on the couch again. She put her fingers to her lips, which were tingling. She wanted more. Jack began tapping his foot — too much energy to sit, but he didn’t seem to trust himself standing either.

  “I wonder if you’re a test for me or I’m a test for you?” he said. “You know this place is convoluted sometimes.” Finally he stopped his movement and just let himself stare at her.

  She looked back at him, wondering about his question, when she realized something was jabbing her in the back. Puzzled, she stood up and reached into her back pocket. She pulled out a slim, hard case. Its glitter and sparkle denoted it as an angel’s.

  Claudette slipped this to me? Sneaky little thing.

  Emma popped open the clasp and resting in white velvet was one hand-rolled cigarette and a Heavenly looking lighter.

  “Sweet Jesus. Please tell me that’s what I think it is.” Jack was out of his seat and in front of her, looking determined and a little scared.

  She hid the stash behind her back. “You know how I feel about smoking.”

  He stepped into her personal space and tried to peek over her shoulder. “Oh yes, I remember. It kills, yadda yadda.”

  He grabbed her waist and tried to turn her. She stood fast. He gave her a longing look. “Well, at least I know it’s really you. Stealing my smokes is just your style.”

  She loved playing with him, teasing him, here where they weren’t in any danger.

  She brought the goods out in front of her and smiled. He watched dangerously as she put the drug to her lips. It tasted like him. Surely this vampire body could take a puff or two to torture him without coughing.

  “You wouldn’t.” He bit his bottom lip.

  “Wouldn’t I?” She lit the end of his favorite habit and let it glow. She inhaled and held the smoke in her mouth.

  He took a deep breath. She leaned up and kissed his lips again, letting the smoke fill his mouth. His half-closed eyes registered pleasure, then rolled back in his head with the intense release.

  Jack took the cigarette from her and held it in his fingers. He took a drag and blew the smoke in his well-practiced way. It formed a heart-shaped ring. He grabbed a handful of her hair and kissed her solidly, his hands no longer shaking. He held tightly and moved her head to one side, then the other, as he tasted her mouth. She moaned and gave up caring where she was, who she was pledged to.

  This man, his touch, his sex — Emma wanted it all.

  The Devil was, of course, an expert at knowing when a woman would submit to him. The way Emma was breathing, the intense look in her eyes — he could have her, and God, he wanted her. He looked away for a moment to give his conscience time to catch up, but it didn’t move as fast as his lust.

  “Pretty child, brace yourself.” He had to warn her, give her a chance to come to her senses. She didn’t. Her eyes met his and smoldered.

  He pivoted and pushed her
against the cold, white wall. He heard a little growl of pleasure in the back of her throat and tossed his cigarette into the corner of the room. She could easily fight him off now. She was so strong.

  But she just waited with her new green eyes anticipating his next move.

  His hands went everywhere. Just when he was feeling one delicious part of her yet another called to him. She bit his neck, just a little, but he had to stop himself and hold still. Her naughtiness made everything in him fire up. If he didn’t hear her sigh with the satisfaction of his cock buried in her, he might choose Hell after all.

  He reined himself in and slowed down, holding her face in his hands. She smiled. Fuck! She’s smiling at me. He kissed her slowly now, nibbling her bottom lip.

  The wall that had propped up their passion gave way, and Jack had a dizzying bout of instability. He pulled Emma close and rolled so when they hit the floor she’d have a softer landing.

  He did hit the ground and knew, when her vampire body was warm and soft and very human, that they were in a pause. An amazing angel’s pause. Jack figured Claudette was behind their extended time and silently gave her more credit for being thoughtful and a little mischievous.

  Emma took a surprised breath and clutched his chest as she came to the same conclusion. She was human again for a little while.

  Jack knew the drill. He’d stolen quite a few pause buttons back when he’d been an angel. He quickly used his imagination to fill the space around them with the setting of his liking.

  “Pretty child, I’m perfectly all right with you using me as your bed, but do you mind if I grab some rum first?” She was so close he had to kiss her, and she still tasted like angel cake. Human Emma was his favorite. He loved her soft skin and gray eyes.

  “We’re in a pause? Crap. I’m going to mess with the time-space continuum if I keep this up.” She rolled off of him onto the floor and looked puzzled at the smoky bar he’d conjured up around them. “You picked a place filled with bottles and smoke? Seriously, you’re a glutton for punishment.”