Missy Piggle-Wiggle and the Whatever Cure

  “You go, girl,” said Penelope.

  Samantha smiled at her.

  When Edison and Trillium returned two hours later, they found a clean house, the dishwasher humming, and Samantha finishing up her homework while Penelope dozed on her perch.

  Trillium reached for her phone and called Missy.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  12

  The Freeforalls Again

  IT WAS A blustery October afternoon. Missy Piggle-Wiggle sat on the porch of the upside-down house, having coffee with Lester. She watched yellow maple leaves whoosh along the path to the front door. It was time for leaf raking and pumpkin carving.

  Across Little Spring Valley, the Freeforalls sat in a row on their front stoop, Honoriah and Petulance on either end, Frankfort between them. The air smelled of wood smoke and damp earth. The children sat silently, chins in hands.

  At the upside-down house Missy said to Lester, “If only grown-ups were as easy to cure as children.”

  On Merriweather Court, Petulance lifted her head and said, “I wish it were tomorrow instead of today.”

  “Why?” asked Frankfort.

  “Because tomorrow is Thursday, and Missy comes on Thursdays.”

  “Let’s go to Missy’s, then,” said Honoriah, and of course all three children jumped to their feet.

  Frankfort and his sisters had never had a friend like Missy. They no longer hooted at her if she said rear. They wouldn’t think of groaning when she appeared at their door. And they didn’t mind in the least that she had shrunk Petulance’s possessions or given Honoriah a cure for know-it-alls or placed Frankfort in a slimy, unbreakable bubble. Missy was the best friend they had ever had. Who else carried around a magic bag full of art supplies and had a pig who drank coffee and a goose named Evelyn and a house with its feet in the air? Who else told them stories and taught them to cook and kept them so busy that they didn’t need to fight anymore?

  Nobody.

  The Freeforalls called good-bye to their mother, hopped on their bicycles, and rode across town.

  “Remember our sleepover at Missy’s?” said Frankfort as they pedaled along.

  “Which one?” asked Honoriah.

  “The one when we dressed up like old-timey people and had high tea for dinner.”

  “How about the time Wag slept with me and Lightfoot slept with Petulance and Lester slept by your bed and got you a drink of water in the middle of the night?”

  “My favorite sleepover,” said Petulance, “was when we had the pirate dance in the basement—”

  “You mean the attic,” said Frankfort.

  “The basement-attic, and Missy showed us real gold doubloons.”

  The Freeforalls rode on.

  At the upside-down house, Missy got to her feet. “Company is on the way,” she said to Lester. “I can feel it in my bones.”

  Lester nodded thoughtfully.

  Missy stretched, collected the coffee cups, carried them into the kitchen, and returned to the porch. She was wearing a thick sweater. Even so, she rubbed her hands together. “Chilly,” she said. “Pretty soon it will be time to put away my straw hat and get out the wool one.” She was quiet for a moment, then sighed and said, “Now about curing grown-ups. How on earth am I going to fix Mr. and Mrs. Freeforall?”

  Lester shrugged his hairy shoulders.

  “Well, I’m not going to worry about it,” said Missy after another moment. “Something will come to me.” She stepped to the edge of the porch. “They’re almost here,” she told Lester.

  At that moment, three bicycles turned the corner and flew along the road to the upside-down house. The twins and Frankfort tossed their bikes on the lawn and unstrapped their helmets. They ran to Missy and hugged her. Then they hugged Lester, who gave them a polite piggy smile.

  “Missy, we have an idea!” exclaimed Honoriah.

  “We just got it now,” said Petulance.

  “While we were riding over here,” added Frankfort.

  “Goodness,” said Missy. “You’d better tell me what it is before you explode.”

  “Could we turn your house into a haunted mansion for our parents?” Petulance blurted out.

  “I wanted to say that!” cried Frankfort.

  “It’s a wonderful idea,” Missy said, putting her arm across Frankfort’s shoulders, “and I know you all thought it up together. How clever of you.” She tapped her finger on her forehead and thought, This might be just what is needed.

  “We could show Mom and Dad our pumpkins,” said Frankfort.

  “And our Halloween costumes,” said Honoriah.

  Petulance opened the front door. “Let’s go inside and work on our costumes now.”

  The Freeforall children had never made their costumes before. In past years they had ridden glumly to Juniper Street with their mother or father, rushed into Aunt Martha’s General Store, picked through the boxes of premade costumes and plastic masks, and fought over who got what.

  This year would be different.

  There was no place like the upside-down house for making Halloween costumes. The Freeforalls discovered that everywhere they looked, they found another carton labeled WIGS or NOSES or EYE PATCHES. Their favorite box was labeled FANGS AND TEETH. They had all hunted through the house many times on rainy days during the summer and were certain they hadn’t seen the boxes before.

  “Hey!” exclaimed Petulance on that blustery Wednesday. “Here’s a box called WINGS AND WANDS.”

  “Ooh, and here’s a tube of fake blood,” said Honoriah, squirting some across her face. “How do I look?”

  “I thought you were going to be a princess,” said Frankfort.

  “Maybe I’ll be a princess who’s just been in a car accident.”

  “That’s the wonderful thing about Halloween,” said Missy. “You can be whatever you want to be.”

  Lester stepped into the dining room, where the Freeforalls were sitting around the table, hunched over their costumes. He carried a tray with glasses of milk and a plate of doughnuts.

  “Why, thank you, Lester,” said Missy. “How thoughtful of you.”

  “Yes, thank you,” echoed the twins.

  “We need a break,” added Frankfort.

  “Now tell me about the haunted mansion,” said Missy as Lester joined them at the table.

  “It will be a surprise for Mom and Dad,” said Frankfort.

  “We’ll decorate it with witches and ghosts and monsters,” said Petulance.

  “And our pumpkins,” said Honoriah. “All lit up.”

  “We’ll have it at the end of the day when it’s dark and spooky out.”

  “We’ll hang threads from the ceiling so Mom and Dad will feel like they’re walking through cobwebs.”

  “We’ll make a tape of scary sounds. Screams and bangs and laughter. Mwa-ha-ha-ha.”

  “We’ll wear our costumes,” said Petulance.

  “Mom and Dad will be amazed,” said Frankfort. He crawled into Missy’s lap. “Don’t you think they’ll be amazed?”

  “Well, they certainly ought to be,” replied Missy, and tugged her hat into place. “Maybe we’ll ask Harold to help us. He’s decorating his store for Halloween, and he always has creative ideas.”

  “Will you call Mom today?” asked Honoriah.

  As usual, Mrs. Hudson Freeforall was sitting in front of the computer in her home office. She had not noticed the blustery day or the yellow tumbling leaves or the smell of wood smoke. Her back was facing the window; otherwise she might have noticed the bare branch scraping the pane and perhaps thought of Halloweens from her childhood. What she did notice was the quiet. It had been a long time since the twins and Frankfort had slid screaming down the banister or thrown a baseball at the china cabinet or turned the bathtub into a swimming pool. The children had ridden their bikes to Missy’s house, but lately, even when they were at home, they did their chores or their homework, and they rarely fought or threw things over the fence into the LaCartes’ yard. They wer
e turning into nice, predictable, well-mannered children.

  Mrs. Freeforall thought about her changed children for four grateful seconds and then went back to work. The phone rang. “Hello?” she said. “Missy, is that you? Is everything all right?”

  “Everything is fine.”

  At the upside-down house, Missy sat in an armchair beside a window, her sweater draped across her shoulders. From the dining room drifted the voices of Honoriah, Petulance, and Frankfort as they worked on their costumes.

  “Well, then?” said Mrs. Freeforall, and her eyes focused on the computer screen again.

  “The children want to issue an invitation to you and Mr. Freeforall. They’re planning a Halloween surprise for you. They’ve been working on their costumes and carving pumpkins, and they want to show everything off to you here at the upside-down house.”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  Missy heard the clacking of computer keys. “Will you be able to come?” she asked, somewhat more loudly than was necessary.

  “To what?” said Mrs. Freeforall. “I mean, of course. Of course we’ll come. When is … it?”

  “Next Friday at four o’clock. The day before Halloween.”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “Mrs. Freeforall?”

  “Hudson will have to leave work early.”

  “I know, but this will mean a lot to the children.”

  “All right. We’ll be there.”

  The upside-down house had never seen so much activity. All week the children of Little Spring Valley worked to make the best haunted mansion they could imagine. Mr. and Mrs. Freeforall were invited for Friday afternoon. Everyone else was invited for Saturday.

  “A haunted house on Halloween!” exclaimed Melody in a voice so loud she surprised even herself.

  “An upside-down haunted house,” said Veronica. “I’ll bet it’s the only one in town.”

  “You should charge money,” Rusty said to Missy.

  “You won’t serve gum, will you?” asked Linden.

  Frankfort, Petulance, and Honoriah put the finishing touches on their costumes. “Do you think Mom and Dad will know I’m a princess who’s been in a car accident?” asked Honoriah.

  “I’m sure they will,” Missy replied.

  On Friday the Freeforall children rode their bicycles directly to Missy’s after school. “Three o’clock,” Petulance declared when they arrived. “Only one hour until Mom and Dad get here.”

  Penelope was so excited about all the activity that she announced the Freeforalls before they even rang the bell. “Honoriah, Petulance, and Frankfort are here for the haunted mansion!” she cried.

  Missy answered the door dressed as a witch. Behind her was Lester wearing a top hat and a bow tie, behind him was Wag in a bunny suit, and behind him sat Lightfoot, halfway up the stairs.

  “What happened to Lightfoot’s costume?” asked Frankfort.

  “She refused to let me put it on her.”

  “Just like a cat!” squawked Penelope, who was perched on a chandelier and not wearing a costume, either.

  “Come on. Time for the finishing touches,” said Petulance. “Let’s get to work.”

  At four o’clock Missy the witch was sitting on the couch in the parlor with a princess who’d been in a car accident, the Baby New Year, and a can of soup. On a table in front of them were a dish of candy corn, a plate of pumpkin cookies, and a bowl of apples. The lights had been turned down, cobwebs swung from the ceilings, and monsters were propped up in dark corners. Through the open window, Missy could hear an owl hoot.

  “Everything is set for our victims,” whispered Frankfort. “Mwa-ha-ha-ha!”

  “Do you hear a car? I think I hear a car,” said Petulance. She rushed to the window. But the car drove by the upside-down house and kept on going.

  Four fifteen came and went.

  Four thirty came and went.

  “They’re half an hour late,” said Petulance.

  “They forgot,” said Honoriah.

  “I knew they’d forget,” said Frankfort.

  Nobody spoke for a few minutes, and then Honoriah said in a small voice, “I don’t think they care about us.”

  “We aren’t as important as their work,” added Petulance.

  “I wish they didn’t have their jobs!” said Frankfort.

  Missy looked at them thoughtfully. “Your parents work hard to support you,” she said finally. “They want to make a good life for you.”

  Frankfort reached for Wag and pulled him onto his lap. Wag’s feet spilled over onto the couch, but he rested his head on Frankfort’s arm and turned mournful eyes on him.

  The twins looked around at the haunted mansion. They looked at their costumes and at their pumpkins, glowing in the front windows.

  “They forgot about us,” said Frankfort again.

  Honoriah let out a sigh. “Missy, could we come here and live with you?”

  “Oh yes, could we?” asked Petulance.

  “Please could we?” said Frankfort.

  “You have plenty of extra rooms,” Honoriah pointed out.

  “You would never forget about us,” said Frankfort.

  “We would do anything you say,” added Petulance. “Anything at all. Give us a chore, and we would do it. Without complaining.”

  Missy heard a small noise from the front porch and glanced at the open window. She turned back to the Freeforalls. “What about your parents?” she asked. “Don’t you think they would miss you?”

  Frankfort shook his head. “Not really.”

  “If they missed us, they would have been here half an hour ago,” said Honoriah.

  “If they didn’t have us, they could just work, work, work all the time,” said Frankfort. “Then they’d be happy.”

  Petulance cocked her head. “Did you hear something?” she whispered suddenly. “I heard a noise.”

  “You have Halloween fever,” her sister replied.

  “No, I did hear something.” Petulance ran to the window. Two shadowy figures stood in the dark. “Aughh!” she screamed before she realized that the figures were her own parents. “Mom and Dad!” she exclaimed.

  Frankfort jumped to his feet and ran to open the front door. “You’re here! You remembered!” he said.

  “Penelope didn’t announce you,” said Honoriah, frowning.

  “Come in and sit down,” said Missy quietly.

  “But I want to show them the haunted mansion,” said Frankfort.

  “In a minute, buddy,” said Mr. Freeforall. “First, can we talk about what you said just now?”

  Honoriah had crossed her arms. “You heard?” she asked her parents.

  “Yes,” said Mrs. Freeforall.

  “Why were you late?” demanded Petulance.

  “Did you forget?” asked Frankfort.

  Mrs. Freeforall sat on a chair by the fireplace. Her husband sat next to her. The chairs had been coated with baby powder so that they poofed dustily whenever the Freeforalls moved. Cobwebs tickled their hair and faces.

  Before anyone could say anything else, Lester got to his feet and left the room.

  “Was that a pig?” asked Mr. Freeforall.

  “Yes. He’s probably fixing you something to drink,” said Missy.

  Mrs. Freeforall looked at her children. Her eyes grew bright, and she wiped them with a tissue. “Did you mean what you were saying?”

  “Yes,” replied Petulance, Frankfort, and Honoriah.

  “You would really rather live here,” said their father, looking around at the chandelier that grew out of the floor and Penelope, who was perched on Frankfort’s head, and the dust rising from the chairs, “than at home with your mother and me?”

  There was a long silence, and finally Honoriah said in a small voice, “Missy’s always at home—”

  “But we have to work,” their mother interrupted. “We have to earn money to buy food and clothes and to pay for the house.”

  “But do you have to work at night and on the weekends?” asked Pe
tulance. “You’re always working. Or going on business trips.”

  “I think,” said Missy, “that your children feel forgotten. They feel hurt.”

  Mrs. Freeforall put her hand to her mouth. “We didn’t mean to hurt you!”

  “And we do think about you,” said their father, who had reached for his handkerchief. “We only want what’s best for you.”

  “You’re best for us,” said Honoriah.

  “Then we’ll make some changes,” said Mrs. Freeforall. “We promise.”

  “We’ll do whatever it takes,” agreed their father.

  “Even turn off your phones at dinnertime?” asked Honoriah.

  “Definitely,” said Mrs. Freeforall.

  The twins and Frankfort suddenly stood up and flew across the room to their parents. Missy had never seen so much hugging and apologizing and crying in her life.

  “Oh my,” said Mrs. Freeforall after a while. “Where’s that pig? I could use a glass of water.”

  * * *

  Eventually everyone settled down, and Mr. and Mrs. Freeforall were given the tour of the haunted house. They jumped and screamed at all the right times, and they admired the costumes and the pumpkins and expressed amazement at their children’s hard work. When at last the Freeforall family left for their home, Missy plopped down on the couch and rested her feet on a cushion.

  “What an evening,” she said to Lester, who was sitting across the room. Then she added, “It looks like I’m out of a job. The Freeforalls won’t need a sitter anymore.”

  Lester nodded and smiled.

  “And, House,” Missy went on, talking to the air, “thank you for letting the children coat you with powder and turn you into a haunted mansion.”

  The front door creaked open. Missy guessed that meant You’re welcome.

  13

  Missy Alone

  IT WAS A quiet Saturday in Little Spring Valley. Halloween had come and gone, and Thanksgiving was less than two weeks away. The warm weather was over, and the trees were bare, the last of their red and gold leaves lying wetly in gutters. The tourists and weekend visitors had stopped making trips to Juniper Street for ice-cream cones and handmade candles, or to ooh and aah over the windows at Aunt Martha’s General Store. On Spell Street, the Art of Magic had closed its doors until spring.