Beautiful Oblivion

Before I could answer, the youngest of the three spoke up. "Wait, that worthless piece of shit canceled on you?" Coby said. The boys were all only eleven months apart, making Coby just eighteen. My coworkers knew my brothers had all scored fake IDs and thought they were doing me a favor by looking the other way, but most of the time I wished they wouldn't. Coby in particular still acted like a twelve-year-old boy not quite sure what to do with his testosterone. He was bowing up behind the others, letting them hold him back from a fight that didn't exist.

  "What are you doing, Coby?" I asked. "He's not even here!"

  "You're damn right he's not," Coby said. He relaxed, cracking his neck. "Canceling on my big sister. I'll bust his fuckin' face." I thought about Coby and T.J. getting into a brawl, and it made my heart race. T.J. was intimidating when he was younger, and lethal as an adult. No one fucked with him, and Coby knew it.

  A disgusted noise came from my throat, and I rolled my eyes. "Just . . . find another table."

  All four boys pulled chairs around Raegan and me. Colin had light-brown hair, but my brothers were all redheads. Colin and Chase had blue eyes. Clark and Coby had green. Some redheaded men aren't all that great-looking, but my brothers were tall, chiseled, and outgoing. Clark was the only one with freckles, and they still somehow looked good on him. I was the outcast, the only child with mousy brown hair and big, round, light-blue eyes. More than once the boys tried to convince me that I'd been adopted. If I wasn't the female version of my father, I might have believed them.

  I touched my forehead to the table and groaned. "I can't believe it, but this day just got worse."

  "Aw, c'mon, Camille. You know you love us," Clark said, nudging me with his shoulder. When I didn't answer, he leaned in to whisper in my ear. "You sure you're all right?"

  I kept my head down, but nodded. Clark patted my back a couple of times, and then the table grew quiet.

  I lifted my head. Everyone was staring behind me, so I turned around. Trenton Maddox was standing there, holding two shot glasses and another glass of something that looked decidedly less sweet.

  "This table turned into a party fast," Trenton said with a surprised but charming smile.

  Chase narrowed his eyes at Trenton. "Is that him?" he asked, nodding.

  "What?" Trenton asked.

  Coby's knee began to bounce, and he leaned forward in his chair. "That's him. He fuckin' canceled on her, and then he showed up here."

  "Wait. Coby, no," I said, holding up my hands.

  Coby stood up. "You jackin' with our sister?"

  "Sister?" Trenton said, his eyes bouncing between me and the volatile gingers sitting on each side of me.

  "Oh, God," I said, closing my eyes. "Colin, tell Coby to stop. It's not him."

  "Who's not me?" Trenton said. "We got a problem here?"

  Travis appeared at his brother's side. He wore the same amused expression as Trenton, both flashing their matching left-sided dimples. They could have been their mother's second set of twins. Only subtle differences set them apart, including the fact that Travis was maybe an inch or two taller than Trenton.

  Travis crossed his arms across his chest, making his already large biceps bulge. The only thing that kept me from exploding from my chair was that his shoulders relaxed. He wasn't ready to fight. Yet.

  "Evening," Travis said.

  The Maddoxes could sense trouble. At least it seemed that way, because whenever there was a fight, they had either started it, or finished it. Usually both.

  "Coby, sit down," I commanded through my teeth.

  "No, I'm not sittin' down. This dickhead insulted my sister, I'm not fuckin' sittin' down."

  Raegan leaned over to Chase. "That's Trent and Travis Maddox."

  "Maddox?" Clark asked.

  "Yeah. You still got something to say?" Travis said.

  Coby shook his head slowly and smiled. "I can talk all night long, motherfu--"

  I stood. "Coby! Sit your ass down!" I said, pointing to his chair. He sat. "I said it wasn't him, and I meant it! Now everybody calm the fuck down! I've had a bad day, I'm here to drink, and relax, and have a good goddamn time! Now if that's a problem for you, back the fuck off my table!" I closed my eyes and screamed the last part, looking completely insane. People around us were staring.

  Breathing hard, I glanced at Trenton, who handed me a drink.

  One corner of his mouth turned up. "I think I'll stay."

  CHAPTER TWO

  My phone chirped for the third time. I picked it up from my nightstand to take a look. It was a text from Trenton.

  Get up, lazy. Yeah, I'm talking to u.

  "Turn off your phone, asshole! Some of us have hangovers!" Raegan yelled from her bedroom.

  I clicked it over to silent and put it back on the table to charge. Damn it. What was I thinking, giving him my phone number?

  Kody lumbered down the hall and peeked in, his eyes still half shut. "What time is it?"

  "Not even eight."

  "Who's blowing up your phone?"

  "None of your business," I said, turning over onto my side. Kody chuckled, and then he began banging around pots and pans in the kitchen, probably getting ready to feed his ginormousness.

  "I hate everyone!" Raegan yelled again.

  I sat up, letting my legs dangle off the side of the bed. I had the entire weekend off, something that hadn't happened since the last weekend I took off to see T.J.--and he canceled. Back then, I had cleaned the apartment until my fingers were raw, and then washed, dried, and folded all of my laundry--and Raegan's.

  I wasn't going to mope around the apartment this time, though. I looked over at the pictures of my brothers and me on my wall, next to a picture of my parents, and a few of the drawings I'd attempted in high school. The black frames were a stark contrast to the white walls throughout the apartment. I'd been working on making it look more lived-in--buying one set of curtains with every paycheck. Raegan's parents got her a gift card to Pottery Barn for Christmas, so we now had a nice dinnerware set and a rustic, mahogany-stained coffee table. But the apartment still mostly looked like we'd just moved in, even though I'd lived there going on three years, and Raegan more than one. It wasn't the nicest property in town, but at least the neighborhood had more young families and single professionals than loud, obnoxious college kids, and it was far enough away from the campus that we didn't have to deal with a lot of game day traffic.

  It wasn't much, but it was home.

  My phone buzzed. I rolled my eyes, thinking it was Trenton, and leaned over to check the display. It was T.J.

  Miss you. We should be snuggling in my bed instead of what I'm doing right now.

  Cami can't talk right now. She's hungover. Leave a message at the beep. BEEP.

  You went out last night?

  You expected me to stay home and cry myself to sleep?

  Good. I don't feel so bad, now.

  No, keep feeling bad. It's really okay.

  I want to hear your voice, but I can't call right now. I'll try to call tonight.

  k.

  K? Seems like a waste of a text.

  Work seems like a waste of a weekend.

  Touche.

  I guess we'll talk later.

  Don't worry, the groveling will be sufficient.

  I should hope so.

  T.J. was difficult to stay mad at, but he was impossible to get close to. Granted, we'd only been dating for six months. The first three were amazing, and then T.J. was assigned to head this critical assignment. He warned me what it might be like, when we decided to try to make the distance work. It was the first time he'd been put in charge of an entire project, and he was both a perfectionist and an overachiever. But the assignment was the biggest he'd ever worked on, and T.J. wanted to make sure he didn't miss anything. It--whatever it was--was important. As in, if it ended well, he would get a huge promotion. He mentioned one late night that maybe he could get a bigger place, and we could discuss me possibly moving out there the next year.

  I'
d rather be anywhere else but here. Living in a smallish college town when you're not exactly in college isn't that great. There was nothing wrong with the college. Eastern State University was quaint, and beautiful. I'd wanted to go there for as long as I could remember, but after just one year in the dorms, I had to move into an apartment of my own. Even if it provided a safe haven away from the ridiculousness of dorm life, independence came with its own difficulties. I was down to only a few classes a semester, and instead of graduating this year, I was only a sophomore.

  The many sacrifices I had made to maintain the independence I needed was exactly why I couldn't resent T.J. for making sacrifices for his--even if I was the sacrifice.

  The bed dipped behind me, and the covers flipped up. A small, icy hand touched my skin, and I jumped.

  "Damn it, Ray! Get your cold, nasty hands off me."

  She laughed, and hugged me tighter. "It's already cooled off in the mornings! Kody is scrambling his dozen or so eggs, and my bed is like ice now!"

  "God, he eats like a horse."

  "He's the size of a horse. Everywhere."

  "Ew. Ew, ew, ew," I said, covering my ears. "I did not need that visual this early in the morning. Or ever."

  "So who is blowing up your phone? Trent?"

  I turned over to see her expression. "Trent?"

  "Oh, do not play coy with me, Camille Renee! I saw the look on your face when he handed you that drink."

  "There was no face."

  "There was definitely a face!"

  I scooted back toward the edge of the bed, pushing Raegan until she realized what I was doing and squealed as she fell to the floor with a thud.

  "You are a mean, awful human being!"

  "I'm mean?" I said, leaning over the edge of the bed. "I didn't toss a girl's beer just because she wanted her table back!"

  Raegan sat with her legs crisscrossed, and sighed. "You're right. I was being a huge bitch. Next time I promise to put a cap on it before I toss it."

  I fell back against my pillow and stared up at the ceiling. "You're hopeless."

  "Breakfast!" Kody called from the kitchen.

  We both scrambled from the room, giggling as we fought to be the first one out the door.

  Raegan sat on the stool behind the breakfast bar for about half a second before I kicked it over. She landed on her feet, but her mouth hung open.

  "You are just asking for it today!"

  I took the first bite of cinnamon and raisin bagel with apple butter, and hummed as the calorific goodness melted in my mouth. Kody had spent enough nights here that he knew I despised eggs, but since he made me an alternative breakfast, I forgave the putrid egg smell that filled up our apartment every time he stayed the night.

  "So," Kody said as he chewed, "Trent Maddox."

  I shook my head. "No. Don't even start."

  "Looks like you already did," Kody said with a wry smile.

  "You're both acting like I was all over him. We talked."

  "He bought you four drinks. And you let him," Raegan said.

  "And he walked you to the car," Kody said.

  "And you traded phone numbers," Raegan said.

  "I have a boyfriend," I said, a bit snotty and maybe a little valley girl. Getting ganged up on did weird things to me.

  "Who you haven't seen in almost three months, and who's canceled on you twice," Raegan said.

  "So, he's selfish because he's dedicated to his job and wants to move up the ladder?" I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer. "We all knew this was coming. T.J. was honest from the beginning about how demanding his job could be. Why am I the only one not surprised?"

  Kody and Raegan traded glances, and then continued eating their disgusting chicken fetuses.

  "What are you guys doing today?" I asked.

  "I'm going to lunch at my parents' house," Raegan said. "And so is Kody."

  I paused midbite, and pulled the bagel out of my mouth. "Really? That's kind of a big deal," I said with a smile.

  Kody smirked. "She's already warned me about her dad. I'm not nervous."

  "You're not?" I asked, in disbelief.

  He shook his head, but seemed less confident. "Why?"

  "He's a retired Navy SEAL, and Raegan's not just his daughter. She's his only child. This is a man who has strived for perfection and pushed himself beyond his limits his entire life. You think you're going to walk in the door, threatening to take more of Raegan's time and attention from him, and he's just going to welcome you to the family?"

  Kody was speechless. Raegan narrowed her eyes at me. "Thanks, friend." She patted Kody's hand. "He doesn't like anyone at first."

  "Except me," I said, raising my hand.

  "Except Cami. But she doesn't count. She isn't a threat to his daughter's virginity."

  Kody made a face. "Wasn't that Jason Brazil like four years ago?"

  "Yes. But Daddy doesn't know that," Raegan said, a little annoyed that Kody said The Name We Shall Not Speak.

  Jason Brazil wasn't a bad guy, we just pretended that he was. We all went to high school together, but Jason was a year younger. They decided to seal the deal before she went to college, hoping it would solidify their relationship. I thought she would tire of having a boyfriend who was still in high school, but Raegan was dedicated, and they spent most of their time together. Not long after Jason began his own freshman year at ESU, the wonders of college, joining a fraternity, and being Eastern State football's star true freshman kept him busy, and the change spawned nightly arguments. He respectfully broke it off, and never once spoke a bad word about her. But he took Raegan's virginity and then didn't keep his end of the bargain: to spend the rest of his life with her. And for that, he was forever the enemy of this house.

  Kody finished his eggs, and then began the dishes.

  "You cooked. I'll do those," I said, pushing him away from the dishwasher.

  "What are you doing today?" Raegan asked.

  "Studying. Writing that paper that is due Monday. I may or may not shower. Definitely not stopping by Mom and Dad's to explain why I didn't leave town as planned."

  "Understandable," Raegan said. She knew the real reason. I had already told my parents I was going to see T.J., and they would want to know why he'd canceled again. They already didn't approve of him, and I had no interest in perpetuating the dysfunctional cycle of hostility that was created when more than one of us were in the same room. Dad would be in a hostile mood like he always was, and someone would say too much, like we always have, and Dad would yell. Mom would beg him to stop. And some way, somehow, it would always end up being my fault.

  You're stupid for trusting him, Camille. He's secretive, my father had said. I don't trust him. He watches everything with those judgmental eyes.

  But that was one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He made me feel so safe. Like no matter where we went or what happened, he would protect me.

  "Does T.J. know you went out last night?"

  "Yes."

  "Does he know about Trent?"

  "He didn't ask."

  "He never asks about your nights out. If Trent was no big deal, you'd think you'd mention it," Raegan said with a smirk.

  "Shut up. Go to your parents' house and let your dad torture Kody."

  Kody's eyebrows pulled together, and Raegan shook her head, patting his massive shoulder as they walked to her bedroom. "She's kidding."

  When Raegan and Kody left a couple of hours later, I opened my books and laptop, and began to write my paper on the effects of growing up with a personal computer. "Who comes up with this shit?" I groaned.

  When the paper was written and printed, I began to study for the psych test I had on Friday. It was the better part of a week away, but experience had taught me that if I waited until the last minute, something would inevitably come up. It wasn't as if I could study at work, and this test would be particularly difficult.

  My cell phone pinged. It was Trenton again.

  This is new. I've never
had a girl give me her number n then ignore me.

  I laughed, and picked up my phone with both hands, punching in the letters.

  I'm not ignoring you. I'm studying.

  Need a break?

  Not until I'm done.

  Okay, and then can we eat? I'm starving.

  Did we make plans to eat?

  You don't eat?

  . . . yes?

  K, then. You plan to eat. I plan to eat. Let's eat.

  I have to study.

  K . . . THEN can we eat?

  U don't have to wait on me. Go ahead.

  I know I don't have to. I want to.

  But I can't. So go ahead.

  k.

  I put my phone on silent, and slid it under my pillow. His persistence was as admirable as it was annoying. I knew who Trenton was, of course. We were in the same graduating class at Eakins High. I had watched him grow from a dirty, snot-nosed kid who ate red pencils and glue, into the tall, tattooed, excessively charming man he was now. From the second he got his driver's license, he had made his way through high school classmates and Eastern State coeds, and I swore I'd never be one of them. Not that he'd ever tried. Until now. I didn't want to be flattered, but it was hard not to be after being one of the few females Trenton and Travis Maddox had never attempted to sleep with. I guess this proved that I couldn't be completely unfortunate-looking. T.J. was magazine-quality beautiful, and now Trenton was texting. I wasn't sure what was different about me between high school and college that had caught Trenton's attention, but I knew what was different for him.

  Less than two years before, Trenton's life changed. He was riding in the passenger seat of Mackenzie Davis's Jeep Liberty on their way out to a spring break bonfire party. The Jeep was barely recognizable when it was hauled back into town on a flatbed trailer the next day, just like Trenton when he returned to Eastern. Swallowed by the guilt of Mackenzie's death, Trenton couldn't concentrate in class, and by mid-April, he'd decided to move back in with his father and drop all of his classes. Travis had mentioned bits and pieces about his brother on slow nights at the Red, but I hadn't heard much more about Trenton.

  After another half hour of studying and chewing at my barely there fingernails, my stomach began to growl. I ambled into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Ranch dressing. Cilantro. Why in the hell is the black pepper in the fridge? Eggs . . . ew. Fat-free yogurt. Even worse. I opened the freezer. Score. Frozen burritos.

  Just before I pressed the buttons on the microwave, a knock sounded on the door. "Raegan! Stop forgetting your damn keys!" My bare feet padded around the breakfast bar and across the beige carpet. After twisting the bolt lock, I yanked on the heavy metal door, and I instantly crossed my arms over my breasts. I was only in a white tank top and boxer shorts, no bra. Trenton Maddox stood in the doorway, holding two white paper sacks.