Beautiful Oblivion

  He opened the card, read it, and looked up at me. "The card I got you is not this good."

  "Stop. Open your present," I said, a little giddy.

  He reached in, and pulled out something rolled in white tissue paper. He opened it up, and held out the T-shirt in front of him. Still holding it high, he poked his head around. "Your present isn't this awesome, either."

  "It's not awesome. It's just a shirt."

  He flipped it around, pointing at the Star Wars font. " 'May the Schwartz Be with You'? This is the motherfucking pterodactyl of T-shirts!"

  I blinked. "So . . . that's a good thing?"

  Someone knocked on the door, and Trenton and I jumped. I wiped my eyes while Trenton peeked out the peephole. He turned to me, clearly confused.

  "It's . . . it's Kody."

  "Kody?" I asked, opening the door.

  "Ray's been trying to call you," he said, upset. "She and Brazil got into it again. She needs a ride home. I was going to go get her, but she thinks it would go over better if you were there."

  "Shit," I said, rushing to put on my coat.

  "My truck's running," Kody said. "I'll drive."

  I pointed at him. "Don't start any shit."

  Kody held up his hands as I passed. We all piled into his truck and drove to the Sig Tau house.

  Cars lined the street, and the house was decorated with red lights and strings adorned with beer cans and cutout hearts. Some people were milling about outside, but most were running from the street for the warmth of the house.

  Trenton helped me down the four feet from Kody's lifted truck, and we met Kody on the driver's side. The bass from the music was thumping inside my chest, and it reminded me of the Red. Just as I began to take a step toward the house, Trenton held me back. He was staring at the space in front of Kody's truck.

  "Fuck me," he said, his head jerking toward the house.

  Travis's Harley was parked in the street, and an empty, half-pint bottle of whiskey was lying next to it, held up by the crisp, dead grass.

  A girl screamed, "Put me down, damn it!"

  It was Abby, and she was hanging over Travis's shoulder, beating the hell out of him with her fists, and kicking. He stomped over to a car and threw her into the backseat. After a short conversation with a guy in the driver's seat, Travis crawled into the back with Abby.

  "Should we . . . ?" I began, but Trenton shook his head.

  "They have been back and forth like this for weeks. I do not want to get caught up in that disaster."

  The car pulled away, and we walked inside. The moment we stepped into the main room, people were staring and whispering to each other.

  "Trent!" Shepley said, a wide smile on his face.

  "I just saw Travis," Trenton said, pointing behind him.

  Shepley chuckled. "Yeah. They're going to end up back together tonight."

  Trenton shook his head. "They're nuts."

  Kody took a step. "We're looking for Brazil and Raegan. Have you seen them?"

  Shepley glanced around and then shrugged. "Not for a while."

  We searched downstairs, we searched the main floor, and then went upstairs. Kody didn't miss a single room, or even the closets. When we got to the balcony, we found Brazil.

  "Jason," I said. He turned around. He nodded at Trenton, but gave Kody a once-over.

  "This is a Sig Tau party, guys. Sorry, but you can't stay."

  "I'm Sig Tau," Trenton said.

  "No offense, man, but not anymore."

  Kody turned his shoulder toward Brazil, clearly trying his hardest to keep from attacking him. "Where's Ray?"

  Brazil shook his head and looked down. Then he looked up at me. "I tried to make it work. I really tried this time. I just can't do clingy."

  Kody leaned in closer, and Trenton put his hand on his chest. "She's not clingy," he said through his teeth. "You should feel grateful for the time she wants to spend with you."

  Brazil started to respond, but I held up my hand. "Jason, we're not here to judge you."

  "Speak for yourself," Kody growled.

  I jerked my head toward his large frame. "You're not helping. Shut up."

  "Do you know where she is?" Trenton asked. "We're just here to take her home."

  He shook his head. "I haven't seen her."

  We left Brazil alone, taking the stairs to the main floor. We walked outside, and Trenton hooked his arm around me to ward off the cold.

  "What now?" Kody asked.

  "Try to call her," I said, shivering.

  We walked back to the truck, and then froze when we saw Raegan sitting on the curb next to Kody's back tire.

  "Ray?" Kody said.

  She stood up and turned around, holding up her phone. "It died," she cried.

  Kody scooped her up into his huge arms, and she hugged him, crying. He climbed up into his truck with her still in his arms, and then Trenton and I walked around. Oddly, Raegan didn't want to discuss her fight with Brazil. Instead, Travis was the topic of conversion.

  "And then he said, 'and to the absolute fucking horror of losing your best friend, because you were stupid enough to fall in love with her,' or something like that." She put her palm on Kody's chest. "I died."

  I looked to Trenton, but instead of the amused expression I expected, he was lost in thought.

  "You okay?" I asked.

  "That hit a little too close to home," he said.

  I kissed his cheek. "Baby. Stop. We're good."

  "We didn't even make dinner."

  "Let's go to the store," Kody said. "Pick up some groceries. I'll cook."

  "I'll help," Trenton said.

  "Oh, I have groceries," I said. "I'm stocked for a while."

  "Do you have pasta shells?" Kody asked.

  "Yes," Raegan and I said in unison.

  "Butter?" Kody asked. We nodded. "Flour? Southwest seasoning?" I looked to Trenton, who nodded. "Milk? Jack cheese?" I shook my head no.

  Trenton spoke up. "You've got pepper jack, though."

  Kody nodded once. "Just as good. Tomatoes? Green chiles? Bread crumbs?"

  "No bread crumbs," Trenton said.

  Kody jerked the wheel to the right, and we drove to his apartment. He was inside for less than a minute, and then we were on our way, with a box of bread crumbs.

  "I'm starving," I said. "What are you making?"

  "A gourmet Valentine's Day meal," Kody said, rather overdramatically. "Southwestern Mac and Cheese."

  We all laughed, but my stomach growled. It sounded amazing.

  Trenton whispered into my ear, "I'm sorry I didn't take you to dinner."

  I hugged his arm. "This is much better than what we had planned."

  He kissed my cheek and squeezed me against his side. "I agree."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Even for just a few classes, midterms were kicking my ass. Kody, Raegan, Gruber, Blia, and I were all studying at the Red before it got busy or when it was slow, and Trenton was helping me study at Skin Deep. Spring break was quickly approaching, and I was eager for the time off and the extra money I would make from working extra hours, but I had to get through exams first.

  The first week of March was a blur, and the week of midterms was even worse, but even though it took me the entire allotted time, I finished my tests and felt good enough about them to enjoy break.

  Sunday night after work, instead of driving to my apartment, I drove to Trenton's. If Kody wasn't spending the night at our apartment, Raegan was at his. After the first few days of are we or aren't we? they picked up where they'd left off, and I'd never seen Raegan so happy. Their honeymoon period was beginning to make me uncomfortable, though, even if I was getting to enjoy Kody's breakfasts again. As much as I loved seeing her smile, sleeping at Trenton's was a relief, for several reasons.

  Monday morning, I rolled over, and slowly began to wake up. Trenton's entire body wrapped mine. Alternating between big spoon and little spoon as we turned from one side to the other had become a nightly ritu
al. I was more comfortable sleeping on my right side, and Trenton was more comfortable on his left, so we tossed and turned a lot.

  I yawned, and out of habit, Trenton pulled me closer. His white walls were broken up by old bronze framed family pictures, portraits of his mother, and many snapshots of us: at the Red Door, at Skin Deep, and the ridiculous shot of us celebrating the completion of my sixth tattoo, an intricate peacock with deep yellows, blues, greens, reds, and purples, spanning from my hip to midrib. Trenton said it was the best he'd ever done, and he traced it tenderly at night before he fell asleep.

  My body was becoming a walking piece of art, and that was just fine with me. Trenton had asked me a few times why I continued to work at the shop, even after Coby finished his program and was back on his feet, and I teased that it was for the free tattoos. But, truthfully, Trenton would have done them for free, anyway--a perk of being the artist's girlfriend.

  Between appointments Trenton doodled and sketched at my desk, and when I fell in love with one, I would have him draw it on my skin. I had the originals framed and hung them in my bedroom, and Trenton had the re-creations in his bed.

  I climbed out of bed and trudged to the bathroom. The sunlight hitting the bright white walls made my eyes squint. I stubbed my toe on the towel rack I'd helped him pick out, and then I opened the medicine cabinet to grab the toothbrush I kept there. It was all very domestic, and even though I thought I couldn't do this, I did . . . and I cherished every moment.

  I sat on the bright orange couch and rubbed my eyes. At that time of the morning, if the blinds were open, the sun would hit the mosaic of broken glass and mirrors that hung above the couch just right and spray a million rainbows on the opposite wall. I loved to sit there with a cup of coffee and enjoy the view. I only drank coffee at Trenton's. Raegan and I didn't have a coffeemaker, and here I could make one cup at a time.

  Trenton stumbled out of the bedroom and rubbed his face. "I'm fuckin' tired for some reason," he said, his voice deep and raspy. He sat next to me and then rested his head on my lap. We had buzzed his hair the night before, so it was particularly prickly when I ran my fingers over it.

  "Don't forget," he said.

  "I know. Travis's fight could be at any time, and you have to go the moment he calls to keep an eye on Abby."

  "I hope that scumbag who attacked her last time shows his face. He'll wish it was Travis beating on him instead."

  "If you beat him any worse than Travis did, you'll kill him. So let's hope he doesn't show."

  "You can have my apartment while I'm in jail."

  I rolled my eyes. "How about you just not go to jail? I'm kind of liking the way things are."

  He looked up at me. "You are?"

  "Immensely."

  "I've got a key with your name on it."

  "It's too early, baby, don't start," I groaned.

  He sat up. "One of these days I'm going to quit asking, and you'll miss it."

  "I doubt it."

  "You doubt that I'll quit asking, or that you'll miss it."

  "Both."

  He frowned. "That's not nice."

  I looked at my watch. "We've got work in a couple of hours."

  "No, we don't. I asked off."

  "Okay, then. I have work in a couple of hours."

  "I asked off for both of us."

  My eyebrows pulled together. "Why?"

  "Because I'm on call for Trav, and I thought maybe you'd like to come."

  "You can't take my hours and not ask me, Trenton. And Cal shouldn't let you pull that shit, either."

  "It's just one day. It's not like you need the second job, anyway."

  "I like to work, and it doesn't matter if I need it or not, you crossed the line. That's my money, Trenton. Not cool," I said, standing up. His head fell to the cushions, and then he followed me to the bedroom.

  "Okay, then. I'll call Cal and tell him you're coming in."

  "No, I'll call Cal. Since when do you need to talk to my boss for me?" I said, pulling on my jeans and a shirt.

  Trenton's shoulders sagged. "Don't leave, baby, c'mon. I was looking forward to spending the day with you. I'm sorry."

  I slipped on my shoes and coat, and after tracking down my cell phone, keys, and purse, I headed for the front door.

  Trenton pressed his palm against the door. "Don't leave mad."

  "I'm not mad. I'm fucking furious. This is exactly why I don't want to move in with you, Trenton. You don't get to run my life."

  "I'm not trying to run your life! I was trying to do something nice!"

  "Okay, but do you understand why I think you crossed the line?"

  "No, I think you're overreacting."

  I sighed. "I'm leaving. Move your hand."

  He didn't.

  "Trenton, please move your hand. I want to go home."

  He winced. "Home. This is your home. You've been here all week. You've loved it! I don't know why you're being so goddamn stubborn about it. You were thinking about moving to Califuckingfornia with the douche canoe in less time than we've been together!"

  "T.J. lived in his apartment for two years! He was a little more stable!"

  Trenton's mouth fell open, looking like I'd shot him. "Damn, babe. Don't hold back."

  I cringed. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

  He took a step toward me, and I flinched. As bad as the comparison to T.J. wounded him, my tiny reflex hurt him even worse.

  He spoke low and slow. "I would never hit you."

  "I know. It was just out of habit . . . I . . ."

  He walked away from me, went into the bedroom, and slammed the door. My shoulders jerked up to my ears, and I closed my eyes.

  After a few quiet seconds, a loud noise came from behind his door, like he had pushed the dresser over, but I couldn't tell for sure. I didn't stick around to find out. I ran out the door and down the stairs and hopped into the Jeep.

  *

  With the college kids on break, the shop was dead. As the hours dragged on with no customers, guilt consumed me. Trenton knew we would be bored out of our minds at work, so it made sense to take the day off. Still, I couldn't apologize for how I felt. I'd worked hard to stand on my own, and there was nothing wrong with wanting to hold onto my independence for as long as I could.

  I was sitting on the counter, my legs swinging back and forth. Hazel sat on the couch next to the front doors, filing her nails into claws.

  "He made a good point," she said.

  "Which one?" I asked, moping.

  "You were going to move in with T.J. Why not Trent? He's as stable as anyone."

  "Don't make me feel worse than I already do. I was just mad."

  "He knows."

  "Then why hasn't he called?"

  "Maybe he feels guilty, too. Maybe he's mortified that you flinched."

  "It was a reflex. I couldn't control it."

  "He knows. Deep down, he knows. I think you just threw him for a loop. He's mentioned before that he feels it's his purpose to protect you, right?"

  "That's what he said."

  "But then he scares you."

  "Not on purpose."

  "Still. I can see why he'd take that hard. Calvin!" she yelled, making me jump.

  "What?" he yelled back.

  "Let's close this shit hole! No one's been in all day, and Cami's leaving for the Red, anyway."

  Calvin walked to the front, all emotion absent from his face. "Did you just call the shop a shit hole?"

  "Yes," she said. "Am I fired?"

  "Has Bishop been in?" he asked.

  Hazel nodded. "Yeah, but he got a text fifteen minutes ago. There's a fight tonight."

  "What?" I said, standing up. "Is that where he went?"

  Hazel nodded. "Yeah? So?"

  "So Trent's going to be there tonight. He's betting big money, and he's supposed to watch Abby for Travis. I guess some guy attacked her last time."

  "No shit?" Hazel said, her almond-shaped eyes wide.

  "We can clo
se, if you take back what you said about the shop, and if we can drink at the Red," Calvin said, looking to me, "for free."

  I shook my head. "I'll buy your first round, but giving away drinks is grounds for termination, so that's a no."

  "I take it back," Hazel said. "This is the prettiest, most wonderful shop ever, and I never want to leave. Except for right now."

  Calvin nodded. "I'll meet you there."

  Hazel clapped. "I have the best! Job! Ever!" She stood up and rushed back to her room to gather her things.

  I closed out the register and the computer, and Calvin shut down the lights from the back.

  I walked out to the Jeep, pausing when I noticed Trenton pulling up in the Intrepid. He parked quickly and jumped out. He pulled my keys out of my hand, opened the driver's side of the Jeep, started it, and then got out. "It's fight night. Keaton Hall. I gotta go, I'm already late, but I just wanted to see you." He kissed my cheek.

  A weird panic came over me, like he was saying good-bye. I gripped his shirt, stopping him from walking away. "Are we okay?" I asked.

  He looked relieved. "No, but we will be." He flashed a sad half-smile, his dimple sinking into his cheek.

  "What does that mean?"

  "It means I'm a fuckup, but I'm going to get it figured out. I swear. Just . . . don't give up on me, okay?"

  I shook my head. "Stop."

  "I have to go, baby." He kissed my forehead, and then jogged to his car.

  "Call me when you're done. I have a weird feeling."

  He winked at me. "Me, too. That means I'm going to win a shit ton of money tonight."

  He backed out of the driveway, and I hopped into the Jeep. It was warm, and I hugged my steering wheel, overcome with affection for the man who always took such good care of me. Hazel honked the horn of her black Eagle Talon, and I followed her straight to the Red.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Everyone is gone. It's a goddamn tragedy," Raegan said. "Those damn fights. Those damn fights!"

  "So dramatic," I said, watching her angrily toss a quarter into her empty tip jar. "Do you remember last time you cursed the Circle? They all came in after, we worked our asses off, and they all got kicked out before they could even order a drink."

  "I remember," Raegan said, smashing her cheek upward with the heel of her hand. She blew a strawberry, and her bangs blew upward.

  "Don't look so sad, babe!" Kody called from across the room.

  A girl ran in, making Kody jerk for half a second in reaction. She spoke quickly to one of five guys at the pool tables, pulled on his arm, and they both ran out at full speed.