Beautiful Oblivion

  Jeremy shook his head quickly.

  "Then don't fuckin' touch me, bro."

  Hazel jogged to the vestibule, but she didn't seem afraid. She just wanted to see the show.

  Trenton kicked open the door and then shoved Clay out backward. Clay landed on his backside, and then scrambled up. The girl with them walked slowly outside, watching Trenton, twirling a small piece of her long, golden locks.

  "Don't be too impressed, Kylie. He's that psycho that got that girl killed a couple of years ago."

  Trenton rushed the door, but I stood between him and the glass. Trenton immediately stopped, breathing hard, and Clay retreated quickly to his shiny black truck.

  As the kids backed out of the parking lot, I kept a hand on Trenton's chest. He was still breathing hard, and shaking from anger. He could have stared a hole through the truck as it drove away.

  Hazel turned on her heels and returned to her room without saying a word.

  "I didn't kill her," Trenton said quietly.

  "I know," I said. I patted him a couple of times, and then dug my keys out of my purse. "You okay?"

  "Yeah," he said. His eyes lost focus, and I could see that he wasn't. I knew exactly what it was like to get lost in a bad memory, and even over a year later, just one mention of the accident had sent Trenton down the rabbit hole.

  "I've got a bottle of Crown at my apartment and some lunch meat. Let's drink until we throw up ham sandwiches."

  One corner of Trenton's mouth turned up. "That sounds pretty awesome."

  "Doesn't it? Let's go. See you tomorrow, Hazel!" I called.

  Trenton followed me to my apartment, and I went straight to the liquor cabinet. "Crown and Coke or just Crown?" I called from the kitchen.

  "Just Crown," he said from behind me. I jumped, and then laughed. "Jesus, you scared me."

  Trenton managed a small smile. "Sorry."

  I flipped the bottle in the air with my left hand and caught it with my right, and then poured double shots into two tumblers.

  Trenton's smile got a little wider. "It's pretty cool having a personal bartender."

  "I'm surprised I can still do it. I've had too many days off. By the time I get back to work on Wednesday, I'll probably forget everything." I handed him his shot glass and clinked my glass to his. "To Crown."

  "To fucking up," he said, his smile fading.

  "To surviving," I said, pressing the glass against my lips and throwing my head back.

  Trenton did the same. I took his empty glass, and poured us another. "Do we want teeth numb drunk, or porcelain praying drunk?"

  "I'll know when I get there."

  I handed him the glass, picked up the bottle, and led Trenton to the love seat. I held up my glass. "To second jobs."

  "To spending more time with awesome people."

  "To brothers who make life impossible."

  "I'll drink to that shit," Trenton said, throwing back his shot. "I love my brothers. I'd do anything for them, but sometimes I feel like the only one who gives a shit about Dad, you know?"

  "Sometimes I feel like the only one that doesn't give a shit about mine."

  Trenton looked up from his empty glass.

  "He's old school. Don't talk back. Don't have an opinion unless it's his. Don't cry when he beats the shit out of my mom."

  Trenton's eyes tightened.

  "He doesn't do it anymore. But he used to. Fucked with us kids, you know? That she stayed. That she could still love him."

  "Goddamn. That's awful."

  "Your parents loved each other?" I asked.

  The smallest hint of a smile touched Trenton's lips. "Like crazy."

  My expression mirrored his. "I love that."

  "So . . . now?"

  "Everyone acts like nothing happened. He's better now, so whoever doesn't pretend that she didn't have to spend extra time in the mornings covering bruises is the bad guy. So . . . I'm the bad guy."

  "No, you're not. If someone hurt my mom . . . even if it was my dad . . . I'd never forgive him. Has he apologized?"

  "Never," I said without hesitation. "But he should. To her. To us. To all of us."

  He held out his empty glass this time. I poured a single, and we held them out again.

  "To loyalty," he said.

  "To running away," I said.

  "I'll drink to that shit," he said, and we both knocked back the drinks.

  I pulled my knees up to my chest, and rested my cheek on my knee, looking over at Trenton. His eyes were shadowed by the brim of his red baseball cap. He had brothers who were identical twins, but the youngest four could have been quadruplets.

  Trenton reached for my shirt and pulled me into his chest. He folded me into his arms and squeezed. I noticed on the inside of his left forearm was thick script that spelled DIANNE, and a few inches down, in much smaller, cursive font that read MACKENZIE.

  "Is that . . ."

  Trenton turned over his arm to get a better look. "Yeah." We sat in silence for a moment, and then he continued. "The rumors aren't true, ya know."

  I sat up and waved him away. "No, I know."

  "I just couldn't go back there, with everyone looking at me like I'd killed her."

  I shook my head. "No one thinks that."

  "Mackenzie's parents do."

  "They need to blame someone, Trent. Someone else."

  Trenton's phone buzzed. He lifted it, took one look at the screen, and smiled.

  "Hot date?"

  "Shepley. Travis has a fight tonight. At Jefferson."

  "Good," I said. "Every time they schedule one on a night the Red is open, it's empty."

  "Really?"

  "I guess you wouldn't know that, since you go to all of them."

  "Not all of them. I'm not going tonight."

  I raised an eyebrow.

  "I have better things to do than watch Travis beat somebody's ass. Again. Besides, he doesn't have any moves I haven't seen."

  "Right. You've taught him everything he knows, I'm sure."

  "One third of everything he knows. That little shit. We beat his ass so many times growing up, he picked up on everything to keep from getting pummeled. Now he could beat all of us . . . at the same time. No wonder no one can beat him."

  "I've seen you and Travis fight. You won."

  "When?"

  "Over a year ago. Right after . . . he told you to quit drinking before you drank yourself to death and you beat him pretty bad for it."

  "Yeah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm not proud of that. My dad still hasn't let me live that down, even though Travis forgave me the second it was over. I love that little bastard."

  "You sure you don't want to go to Jefferson?"

  He shook his head, and then smiled. "So . . . I still have Spaceballs."

  I laughed. "What is your obsession with Spaceballs?"

  He shrugged. "I don't know. We watched it a lot as kids. It was something we did as brothers. It just makes me feel good, ya know?"

  "You just keep it in your car?" I asked, skeptically.

  "No, it's at home. Maybe you can come over. Watch it with me sometime?"

  I righted my posture, creating more space between us. "I'm thinking that's a horrible idea."

  "Why?" he asked with his charming smile. "Don't trust yourself alone with me?"

  "I'm alone with you right now. Not even worried about it."

  Trenton leaned in, just a couple of inches from my face. "Is that why you just leaned away? Because you're not worried about being close to me?"

  His warm, brown eyes fell to my lips, and his breath was the only thing I could hear until the front door swung open.

  "I told you not to mention the Dallas Cowboys. Daddy hates the Dallas Cowboys."

  "They're America's football team. It's un-American to hate the Cowboys."

  Raegan turned on her heels, and Kody leaned back. "But you didn't have to say that to him! Jesus!" Raegan turned to look at Trenton and me on the couch. I was leaning back, and Tren
ton was leaning in close.

  "Oh," she said with a smile. "Did we interrupt?"

  "Nope," I said, pushing Trenton away. "Not at all."

  "Sure looks like it--" Kody began, but Raegan turned her wrath on him again.

  "Just . . . stop talking!" she yelled, and then retreated to her room, Kody following quickly behind.

  "Great. They'll probably be fighting all night," I said.

  "Just . . . go home!" Raegan said, slamming her bedroom door. Kody rounded the corner, looking distraught.

  "Look at the bright side," I said. "If she didn't like you, she wouldn't be so upset."

  "Her dad fights dirty," Kody said. "I didn't say shit until he'd been talking about Brazil for an hour. Then I tried to change the subject, and couldn't resist."

  Trenton laughed, and then looked at Kody. "Can you give me a ride home? We've had a little bit to drink."

  Kody jingled his keys. "Yeah, man. I'm heading over here in the morning to grovel if you want to pick up your car."

  "Sweet," Trenton said. He stood up, ruffled my hair with his fingers, and then grabbed his keys. "See you at work tomorrow."

  "Good night," I said, smoothing my hair.

  "You get anywhere with her, man?" Kody said, purposefully louder than necessary.

  Trenton chuckled. "Third base."

  "You know what I hate?" I asked. "You."

  Trenton rushed me and turned, lying on top of me, letting his entire weight push me down. "No way. Who else can you drink Crown straight from the bottle with?"

  "Myself," I said, grunting against his weight. I elbowed him in the ribs, and he pulled himself up by the back of the couch, awkward and dramatic.

  "Exactly. See you tomorrow, Cami."

  When the door shut, I tried not to smile, but failed.

  CHAPTER SIX

  The bottle crashed to the floor, and both Hank and Raegan stared down at the broken shards and splattered liquid.

  "Coors Light!"

  "Vegas Bomb!"

  "Fuck!" I said, bending down to pick it up.

  "I got it," Gruber said, hurrying behind the bar to clean up my mess.

  Week two of my new job, and it was already beginning to wear on me. Going straight from class to Skin Deep wasn't difficult Mondays or Tuesdays, but Wednesday through Sunday kicked my ass. Trying to keep up with studying and papers after a shift that lasted until after 2:00 AM, and then waking up for a 9:00 AM class was grueling.

  "You all right?" Hank said into my ear. "That's the first time you've dropped a bottle since you learned to flip 'em."

  "I'm fine," I said, wiping my wet hands on the towel that was tucked into my back pocket.

  "I said Coors Light!"

  "Wait a goddamn minute!" Raegan yelled at the impatient jerk standing among forty other impatient jerks at my station. "I still don't understand why you're doing this for Coby," she said, a residual frown still on her face.

  "It's just easier."

  "I'm pretty sure it's called enabling. Why would he straighten up, Cami? He has you to bail him out after a two-minute guilt trip."

  "He's a stupid kid, Ray. He's allowed to screw up," I said, stepping over Gruber to get to the Blue Curacao.

  "He's your younger brother. He shouldn't be a bigger fuckup than you."

  "Everything isn't always the way it's supposed to be."

  "Blue Moon!"

  "Blind Pig!"

  "You got Zombie Dust on tap?"

  I shook my head. "Only in October."

  "What kind of bar is this? That's one of the top ten beers ever made! You should have it year-round!"

  I rolled my eyes. Thursday night was coin beer night, and always packed. The dance floor was shoulder to shoulder, and the bar was three rows deep of drink calling and doubled as a prime spot for what Hank affectionately called the Meat Market, and it wasn't even eleven o'clock, when the rush would start.

  "West corner!" Hank called.

  "Got it!" Kody said, pushing through the crowd to get to a writhing mob.

  The patrons were always more violent for two or three days after a fight. They'd watch Travis Maddox maul some guy without mercy, and then everyone at that fight walked away thinking they were equally invincible.

  Raegan smiled, pausing for a few seconds to watch Kody work. "Damn, he's hot."

  "Work, bitch," I said, shaking the hell out of a New Orleans Fizz until my arms burned.

  Raegan groaned, lined up five shot glasses, pulled the stack of napkins to the lower shelf, and then tipped a bottle of Chartreuse upside down. She overpoured the shot glasses, and then ran a thin line across a clean section of the bar. She flipped a lighter, and fire erupted.

  The group closest to the bar leaned back, away from the flames crawling across the wooden plank in front of them, and then cheered.

  "Back the fuck up!" Raegan yelled as the fire burned itself out after thirty seconds.

  "Nice!" Trenton said, standing in front of me with his arms crossed.

  "Stay away from the west corner," I said, nodding to the red sea of swinging idiots parted by Kody and Gruber.

  Trenton turned, and then shook his head. "Don't tell me what to do."

  "Then get the hell away from my bar," I said with a smirk.

  "Feisty," Trenton said, shrugging a few times.

  "Bud Light!"

  "Margarita, please!"

  "Hey, sexy," a familiar voice said.

  "Hey, Baker," I said with a smile. He'd been slipping twenties into my tip jar for over a year.

  Trenton frowned. "You're missing your shirt," he said.

  I looked down at my leather vest. Yes, my tits were out to play, but I worked at a bar, not a day care. "Are you saying you don't approve of my attire?" Trenton began to speak, but I put my finger against his lips. "Aw, that's cute. You thought I was really asking."

  Trenton kissed my finger, and I pulled back my hand.

  Raegan slid a shot to Trenton, and winked at him. He winked back, lifted his glass to her, and then walked across the dance floor to the pool tables, not ten feet from the fight Kody and Gruber were still struggling with. Trenton watched for a few more seconds, shot the complimentary whiskey from Raegan, and then walked to the middle of the mob. Like a drop of oil in a bowl of water, the squabbling group backed away.

  Trenton said a few words, and Kody and Gruber escorted two of the guys toward the exit.

  "I should offer him a job," Hank said, watching the scene from behind me.

  "He wouldn't take it," I said, mixing another drink. Unlike his little brother, I could tell that Trenton would rather not fight. He just wasn't afraid to, and like the other Maddox boys, it was ingrained in him as a default option for solving a problem.

  Every few minutes for almost an hour, I found myself scanning the room for that buzzed brown hair and white T-shirt. The short sleeves fit snug around his biceps and broad chest, and I inwardly cringed for noticing. Trenton had always stood out to me, but I'd never tried to get to know him well enough to figure out why. He'd obviously stood out to a lot of females, and the thought of waiting in line didn't appeal to me, but I still noticed. It was hard not to.

  Trenton leaned over to take the winning shot at one of the pool tables, his white hat turned backward. Clearly one of his favorites, the dingy white still made his leftover tan from summer look even darker.

  "Holy cow balls! There's already been two fights at the entrance!" Blia said, her eyes wide. "Need a break?"

  I nodded, taking payment for the last cocktail I'd made.

  "Don't be long. This place is five seconds away from blowing up."

  I winked. "I'm just going to pee, smoke, and I'll be right back."

  "Don't ever quit us," Blia said, already starting a drink order. "I've decided that I'm not ready for the east bar, yet."

  "Don't worry. Hank would have to fire me first."

  Hank threw a wadded-up napkin at my face. "You don't have to worry about that, killer."

  I playfully punched his arm, and th
en made a beeline for the employees' bathroom. Once inside the stall, I shimmied my panties down to my knees and sat, the bass of the music outside keeping a muffled but steady beat. The thin walls vibrated, and I envisioned my bones doing the same.

  After checking my phone, I set it on top of the gray plastic toilet paper container. Still nothing from T.J., but I was the last person to text. I wasn't going to be the kind of girl who begged for attention.

  "You 'bout done?" Trenton said from the other side of the stall.

  My entire body tensed. "What the hell are you doing in here? This is the girls' bathroom, Stalker Texas Ranger."

  "Did you just insinuate I'm comparable to Chuck Norris? Because I'll take that."

  "Get out!"

  "Calm down. I can't see you."

  I flushed the toilet, and then pushed open the stall door so hard it slammed against the sink counter. After washing my hands, and pulling out a couple of paper towels, I made sure to glare at Trenton.

  "Glad to see employees really do what the sign says. I've always wondered."

  I left him alone in the bathroom, and headed out the employee entrance door.

  The moment I stepped outside the chill cooled the bare parts of my skin. Cars were still pulling in and parking haphazardly on the grass on the far side of the lot. Car doors were slamming, and friends and couples were walking to the entrance, slowed by a long line of college students waiting for others to leave so they could get in.

  Trenton stood next to me, pulled out a cigarette and lit it, and then lit mine. "You should really quit," he said. "Nasty habit. Not attractive for a girl."

  I craned my neck at him.

  "What? I'm not trying to be pretty. I'm not a girl."

  "I don't like you."

  "Yeah, you do."

  "I'm not trying to be pretty, either."

  "You're failing."

  I peeked over at him, trying my hardest not to feel flattered. A warm feeling pooled in my chest, and then began to spread, making it all the way down to my fingers and toes. He had the best worst effect on me. As if everything I was--and wasn't--was desirable. I didn't even have to try. Trenton's unrepentant appreciation for everything he knew about me was addictive. I found myself wanting more, but I wasn't sure if it was the way he made me feel that I liked so much, or the familiar feeling. This was like my first three months with T.J. The warmth I'd felt a second before faded, and I began to shiver.

  "I'd offer you my jacket, but I didn't bring one," Trenton said. "I have these, though." He held his arms a bit away from his body, palms up.

  I shrugged. "I'm fine. How was the last few hours of work tonight?"