From Glowing Embers

Chapter 8

  Julianna awoke gradually to the muffled sounds of a television hurricane advisory. For a moment she was confused. The one silver lining to the poverty of her childhood had been that she had not grown up with a television set that worked for very long. It had been an odd blessing, because she had discovered the world of the printed word and read herself right into a brighter future and better education than the one that had been bequeathed her.

  As a result she had never bought a television. She preferred books and her work, and now the sound was an unwelcome intrusion.

  Pushing her hair off her cheek, she opened her eyes. The events of the last twenty-four hours came rushing back.

  “Gray.”

  The sound of his name spoken aloud was as haunting as the moaning wind. She propelled herself upright and stumbled to the window. She opened the curtains with a jerk and looked down on the fury of hell. Closing them quickly, she leaned against the wall, her knees weak.

  “Julianna?”

  She raised her head to see Gray standing in the doorway.

  “Are you all right?” His eyes were lit with concern—and something else she refused to contemplate.

  “I’m in top form,” she answered, trying to smile.

  The smile that answered hers was a sensually charged tightening of his mouth. “That’s right on target.”

  Julianna was suddenly aware of how little she was wearing—suddenly aware of that and Gray’s provocative stare. Unconsciously she straightened a little, and the movement thrust her breasts against the satin of her gown. She could feel her body’s subtle changes, and they amazed her, just as the look in Gray’s eyes amazed her. For a moment she could almost believe it was hunger. But that was ridiculous.

  She straightened further. She refused to run for cover. That kind of a virginal response was laughable under the circumstances. She covered the confusion of the last seconds with a question. “Where’s everyone else?”

  “Dillon took Jody downstairs for breakfast. Apparently she had a bad night. The storm kept her awake for part of it.”

  “And what kind of night did you have?”

  He listened to the husky music of her voice and wondered what she would say if he told her the truth. He had awakened that morning and believed for a moment that he was back in Jackson, Mississippi, on the morning of their wedding day. “I didn’t sleep well,” he acknowledged. “And you?”

  “Neither did I.”

  “I shouldn’t have forced the discussion last night. Not with everything else going on.”

  She was surprised at his words because she knew she should be the one apologizing. She had been rude, flippant, spiteful, all the things she suspected she might be again if they kept talking. She was finding out things about her own maturity that she hadn’t known, and she wasn’t pleased.

  “This can’t be easy for you, either,” she said, struggling to be fair. “Supposing we just agree not to discuss the past anymore? I’ve made a life for myself here in the islands. You’ve made a life for yourself in...” She stopped. “Granger Junction?”

  “My home’s in Biloxi now.”

  She was surprised. Gray was supposed to have followed in his father’s footsteps. She’d expected him to be the next Judge Sheridan of Granger Junction. “I’ll give you an uncontested divorce,” she went on, trying to sound businesslike. “You can file, or I will. It makes no difference to me.”

  “Right now we’ve got a hurricane to worry about.”

  “Have they named her? Or is this one a him?” She turned back to the window and opened the curtains a crack.

  He watched the fabric of her gown ride higher as she turned. Averting his eyes from the smooth, golden length of her legs, he wondered what was the matter with him. This was the woman who had just casually promised him a divorce. He shook his head at his own irrational response as he answered. “The storm’s a her. They’re calling her Eve.”

  “That’s appropriate. Only this time she’s destroying the garden before she gets turned out of it.” Julianna willed herself to gaze out at the palm trees lining the avenue in front of them, palm trees that were bowing in unison like lords at a coronation.

  “I just caught the latest advisory. They aren’t sure what to expect yet. She seemed to be moving, but now she’s stalled again. She could burn herself out, or hit us with all she’s got.”

  “I love being reassured.”

  “I’ve never lied to you.”

  Strangely enough, he was right. Whatever else Gray had done, he hadn’t lied. “I know,” she said, her back still turned.

  “And I’m glad you’re not lying now. I just wish the news were better.”

  “There won’t be any flights out today, no matter what happens.”

  She sighed. “I’m going to have to call friends and see if I can stay with them.”

  “Jody and I tried to get through to her mother a little while ago. Phone lines are down all over the island.”

  She continued to look out at the avenue and assess her chances of getting where she needed to go. They weren’t good, nor were her chances of finding someone at home any better, even if she got there. If people were being forced to evacuate, her friends could be among them. And if they weren’t gone, they might have their hands full with other evacuees.

  “What are you going to do?” she asked.

  There was no way he was going to tell her his plan. Not here. Instead he told her the first step. “I’m going to take you to breakfast.”

  “Don’t worry about me.”

  “Feeding you’s a habit.”

  She didn’t want to talk about habits, and she knew that if she refused, the conversation would quickly turn serious. Here they were alone. At least in the dining room they would be surrounded by people. “If I go, I don’t want to talk about the past,” she warned.

  “Only present tense allowed.”

  She smiled reluctantly. “I’ll meet you downstairs in a few minutes.”

  The dining room was crowded when she arrived. Gray was sitting with Dillon and Jody, and he signaled her to join them. She was relieved to see that there would be no chance for private conversation.

  “The hotel’s coping well, under the circumstances,” Gray told her as she was seated, “but the menu was limited this morning, so I ordered for you.”

  “Thank you.” Julianna looked around the table. “Is everybody doing all right?”

  “I don’t want it to rain anymore,” Jody said.

  Julianna reached across the table and put her hand on the little girl’s. “I don’t like it, either, but you know what?”

  Jody looked up, interested. “What?”

  “Some Hawaiians used to believe that rain was the teardrops of the gods. Hawaii’s the wettest of the fifty states, so if you’re going to be an honorary islander, you’ve got to get used to a little water.”

  “Are you used to it?” Jody asked.

  Julianna opened her mouth to reassure the girl, then shook her head. “No.”

  Everybody laughed, including Jody, who laced her fingers through Julianna’s like an old friend. “I thought you were scared,” she said with adult perception. “We can be scared together.”

  Julianna looked down at the little hand so trustingly meshed with her own. She swallowed. “I’d like that.”

  Gray watched Julianna, unhappy at the vulnerability in her eyes. So many years had passed, and yet she could still be shaken by a little girl’s friendship. What had life done to her? What had he done?

  “My mommy says when you’re scared, you have to eat to get up your courage,” Jody counseled.

  “A very wise mommy.” Julianna squeezed Jody’s hand, then withdrew her own as their waiter arrived. She looked at the heavily laden tray and wondered if she would be able to eat a bite.

  Gray waited until the meal was half-finished before he broached the subject of the rest of the day. He knew that in order to get Julianna to do what he wanted, timing was all-important.

 
“We’ve got some time before checkout. Dillon, what are your plans?” He lifted his coffee cup and sipped, looking around the table as he did. His eyes settled on Julianna, who was pushing a half-eaten omelet around her plate.

  Dillon shrugged. “There’ll be a shelter somewhere, I reckon.”

  “I was hoping you’d help me with something.”

  “If I can.”

  “I’d like you to help me persuade Julianna to come with Jody and me, and I’d like you to come, too. My friend has plenty of room at her house, and no matter what happens with the storm, we’ll all be safe there.”

  Julianna looked up from her plate to find Gray watching her. “You have a friend in Honolulu?”

  “I’m supposed to meet her at her house today.”

  Julianna understood the situation immediately. If Gray had been planning to stay with a woman, it could only be the woman he was “becoming serious about.” “And you want me to stay in her house?”

  His eyes didn’t falter. “That’s right.”

  She wanted to tell him exactly what she thought of his offer, but she couldn’t, not with Jody and Dillon at the table. “I believe I’d be more comfortable somewhere else.”

  “Where? The shelters are going to be packed solid, and you can’t call anyone you know, because the lines are down.”

  “I imagine this hotel will let me stay in the lobby, if nowhere else.”

  Dillon destroyed that theory. “I asked. They’ve already promised every inch of space they have.”

  “I’ll find a place.”

  Gray wasn’t going to back down. Julianna was his wife, even though their marriage had been nothing more than a legality for a decade. He felt responsible for her safety, and he felt a connection to her that hadn’t been destroyed by their years of separation. They would ride out this storm together. “Your place is with me,” he told her.

  Surprisingly, Dillon seemed to agree. “Look,” he said, “this is none of my affair, but it seems to me that Gray’s got a point. You can’t be running around in this weather looking for any place that’ll have you. You need to settle in and wait the storm out. We all do.”

  Julianna’s eyes flashed to Jody, who was frowning.

  “Julianna,” Jody asked, “don’t you like Gray?” Her frown said plainly that if Julianna didn’t like him, Jody might not like him anymore, either.

  Julianna realized that the trap was closing around her. “Gray is a nice man.”

  “Then why won’t you come with us?’’ Jody stuck her lip out. “Don’t you like me?”

  “I like you very much.” Julianna saw that her words weren’t going to reassure Jody. “Very much.”

  “I thought we were going to be scared together.”

  Gray let several seconds tick by before he broke the silence. He leaned back in his chair, but the pose was deceptive. There was nothing relaxed about him. “Dillon, if Julianna doesn’t want to come, you’re still invited.”

  “I’ll be staying with Julianna,” Dillon answered.

  Julianna saw that her choice was perfectly clear. If she refused to go, not only would Dillon not have a comfortable place to wait out the storm, but Jody would see her refusal as a betrayal. “This was very clever of you,” she said finally, turning back to Gray.

  “I want you to come.” His eyes said the rest. I was willing to do whatever I had to.

  “Why?” she asked softly.

  He didn’t dare search deeper than he already had for an answer. Telling himself that she was still his responsibility was as much of the truth as he wanted to know. “There was another storm once,” he said just as softly. “I let you down then. Do you think I could do it again?”

  She drew in a sharp breath to tell him how little his guilty conscience mattered to her, but the pain in his eyes stopped the words rising in her throat. “Do you truly believe this can change the past?”

  “I’m not asking for a miracle.”

  “What are you asking for?”

  “I’m asking you to come with us. I’m asking you to let me know for sure that you’re safe.”

  She knew that if she said yes, that if she spent the next day—or days—with him, they would be prisoners of more than the storm. And yet weren’t they already prisoners of the life they’d shared? Had ten years and thousands of miles changed that? Or had their daughter’s death bound them together in a way that time and distance could never overcome?

  “What will your friend say if you descend on her with all of us in tow?” she asked at last.

  “She may not even be there, but if she is, she’ll understand.”

  Julianna doubted that very much. What woman would be understanding about her lover’s wife coming to visit? She wondered what kind of woman Gray had chosen. Julie Ann Mason had been thrust on him, but now he had chosen someone of his own free will.

  She felt an unreasonable, unfathomable flash of jealousy.

  “Please come.” Gray reached across the table and touched her hand. The touch was meant to be reassuring, nothing more, but it lingered on her skin.

  For the first time since she had seen Gray on the plane, she wanted to finish what he had started. She didn’t know how it would happen, but what was between them had to be resolved if she was ever to be whole again. “All right,” she said. “I’ll come, too. It sounds like it will be better for everyone.”

  Jody had watched the exchange, her smooth forehead wrinkled in concern. “Why are you both so sad?”

  Julianna didn’t know how to respond. Gray held her gaze as he spoke for them both. “Sometimes things just don’t turn out like they’re supposed to, Jody. Then, when people think about what they’d hoped would happen, well, it can make them sad.”

  “What was supposed to happen?” Jody asked.

  “I’ll tell you what’s supposed to happen,” Dillon interrupted, pushing his chair back. “You’re supposed to show me how to play the video games in the arcade up by the pool. I can’t get the hang of them by myself.”

  Julianna watched Dillon escort a chattering Jody from the dining room. “What was supposed to happen?” she asked Gray, her eyes still on the doorway even after the others had disappeared into the lobby. “When you married me ten years ago, what did you hope would happen?”

  “Don’t you know?”

  She turned back to him. “No.”

  “In spite of everything, I’d hoped we’d make each other happy.”

  “We never really had a chance, did we?”

  “Do you remember our wedding night?”

  Like Ellie’s death, their wedding night was a memory too painful to bear close scrutiny. “I’ve tried not to.”

  “We had a chance.” Gray dropped his napkin on his plate and stood. “But maybe it’s been easier for both of us to believe that we didn’t.”

  Julianna watched him weave his way through the crowded dining room. Despite her best efforts to keep the past where it belonged, she wondered if he was right.