Murder and Mischief in the Hamptons

Chapter Fifteen

  "How could you keep that kind of information from me?" my mother was harping.

  We were all sitting around the breakfast table the next morning, enjoying a late breakfast. Or at least, we had been, before my mother brought the conversation around to my hair.

  "And you," she cast a sharp glance at Pia, "I would have expected more from you! I know Sigreid has the propensity towards keeping me in the dark, but I would have thought you at least would have made sure we were informed."

  "Dorothy," Pia began, "it would have done you absolutely no good to have known. You had only just returned home and it didn't seem to make any sense in having you turn right around and come back, especially considering that Reid was fine."

  "They cut my child out of a car. They had to remove her hair to extricate her. You call that fine?"

  "Now, that's not what I meant at all. I understand how frightful the accident was. I was there and I was terrified out of my wits. I've never been so worried in my life. But I couldn't help but to think, if I was that worried, and Reid is not even my child, what would it do to you? And aside from her hair, she came out of it in one piece. So, it seemed arbitrary to present you with such news. And a bit cruel."

  "I think I should have been the one to make that decision-" my mother began, but my father interrupted her, "Judy, the girl is fine. Let's not make a mountain out of a molehill. She survived, though her hair did not."

  And my hair, very conveniently, was now buried along with Mike and the jawbone. Which I still needed to talk to Pia about. As soon as I could get five minutes alone with her.

  "I don't believe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. You all are trying to make a molehill out of a mountain, and I simply won't have it! Sigreid has made a habit out of pulling the wool over my eyes and I'm simply trying to shear the sheep in wolf's clothing."

  "What?!" we all said in unison.

  My mother, the queen of word stew, thought about what she had said and amended, "Shear the wolf in sheep's clothing. I don't know. Something like that. You know what I mean! Don't make me say words!" She always got frustrated when she couldn’t verbalize what she was thinking. Which was most of the time.

  "I promise not to try and hide anything from you anymore," I vowed. With my fingers crossed behind my back. No easy feat since I was sorer today than I'd been in a long time and my ribs protested at the movement.

  "I only wished I could believe you," she grouched, but I could tell she was letting go of the subject. "It does seem such a shame about what happened to that Mike fellow though. I talked to him for quite some time at the party last night. He was such a nice man and with such a bright future. His grandfather left him the business, you know. He could have been quite wealthy given enough time."

  Considering I suspected my mother had had matchmaking in her head at the time, I said nothing.

  "I wonder who that bone belongs to though?" she continued. Once my mother got on a train, she wasn't one to disembark. "I mean, it's obvious it's old. I wonder if your home was built on some ancient Indian burial ground or something? You know that sort of thing happens more often than you think. Look at us. When we bought that additional land to expand the farm, we found an old cemetery plot. Remember, dear?" she addressed my father.

  "Yes," was his response. Unlike my mother, he wasn't wordy.

  "Maybe it's the bone of some long ago tribal chief. Wouldn't that be exciting?" she imagined.

  Gloria chose that moment to pop into the room. "Oh, I highly doubt that. Unless she means Chief Spitting Bull."

  I choked on my coffee at that and everyone stared at me while I sputtered.

  "Darling, don't gulp. That prevents that sort of thing from happening," Pia admonished.

  "Sorry. I swallowed wrong."

  My mother just looked at me curiously and then hopped back on her train. "As I was saying, wouldn't it be exciting if it turned out to be some archeological site?"

  "Since I'm the one who found the jawbone, I can't really qualify it as exciting," I told her. "More like terrifying. And since I'm pretty sure I saw a filling in one of those teeth, I highly doubt that it will turn out to belong to an Indian chief."

  She pouted. "Well, that's disappointing."

  "Again, Mom. I fell in a pit with not one, but two dead bodies. Disappointing is an understatement."

  "Yes, dear, I get it. You were frightened no doubt. But if something good could have come out of the tragedy, then all for the better, right? You do sometimes have to look for the light at the end of the tunnel."

  "Oh, I saw it all right. The problem was it was coming from the train that was rampaging down the track straight toward me. I felt like Miss Nell after Snidely Whiplash tied her to the tracks."

  Pia laughed. "Oh, I did so love that cartoon. Dudley Do-Right wasn't it? What was the name of his horse again?"

  Way to miss the point.

  "I don't know. I don't believe I ever saw it." My mother was now invested in this new topic.

  "Horse," I supplied, completely giving up on ever bringing the subject back around to my misfortune.

  "Yes, darling, that's what I asked. What was the name of the horse?"

  Bernard snickered, but in no way tried to assist me.

  "Who's on first, I don't know, third base!" Gloria chanted.

  "You're not heeellllping," I sing-songed.

  "I wasn't tryyyying toooo," Gloria sang back.

  "How am I supposed to help you?" Pia was confused. "I was asking for your help. Oh, I am so confused."

  "Horse! The blasted horse was named Horse!" I finally lost my temper.

  "Well, that's not very original, is it? And there's no need to get testy."

  "I'm going to go take a shower. And possibly drown myself." I stalked out of the room, leaving them all behind to remark on my moodiness.

  If I had hoped Gloria was going to stay behind with them, I was in for a rude awakening.

  "You do realize those bones probably belong to Alex," she was saying as she followed me up to my room.

  "Bone, not bones. I found one bone. A jawbone to be precise."

  "How appropriate. The jawbone of an ass."

  "The thought had already occurred to me."

  "Don't you think it's time you started asking Alex some questions?"

  I whirled on her. "Don't you think I have? But every time I bring up the subject, he either evades it or disappears. How am I supposed to get any answers that way?"

  Gloria considered this for a moment. "Then, why not try a different angle? Go to a different source, I mean."

  "Who?"

  "Cecilia. Ask her."

  I looked at her completely astounded. "Firstly, every interaction I've ever had with that banshee has ended as calamity for me, with the destruction of my property, I might add."

  "She's jealous."

  "What does she have to be jealous about?"

  "You're moving in on her man."

  "What?!"

  "Alex, from what I understand. She and Alex were an item when they were alive."

  I sunk down onto my bed. Well, that explained a lot of things. "She and Alex were together? And now that I'm living in the guest house and Alex is hanging around all the time, she thinks I want her ghost of a boyfriend? Well, that makes no sense."

  "Look at Jase. He was jealous of Mike, right? And that made no sense either. I mean, anyone with eyes can see Jase has got it all over Mike." She thought about this for a minute and then added, "More so now that he's the one still living."

  "But Alex? A ghost? How does a person have a fling with a ghost?"

  "It’s too perverted for words," Gloria rolled her eyes. "Anyway, that's beside the point. From what I can tell, Cecilia was worried you were moving in on her man and she got a little-"

  "Vengeful?"

  "Precisely. But if you were to make certain that she knows where your interests lie and that they in no way lie with Alex, then maybe she'll give you the information you want."

  "But how
am I supposed to do that now? I mean, Olivia banished her, or whatever the cleansing does."

  Gloria laughed. "You don't honestly think that buffoon succeeded with that prattle, do you? You just haven't seen Cecilia because there's been no reason for her to drop by. Alex has been making himself scarce, mostly staying at the guest house when he's anywhere at all, and so she didn't feel the need to scare you off. But if Alex were to hang out long enough, I have no doubt Cecilia will show up."

  "Then the problem becomes, can I keep her here long enough to convince her and at the same time prevent her from destroying any more property, or doing me serious harm?"

  "That's something you'll have to work out for yourself. I can only do so much you know."

  I flashed her a dirty look.

  "When you want Alex here, say the word. I'll make sure he comes."

  "How?"

  "You really are a stupid girl, aren't you?"

  "With friends like this, who needs enemies?"

  "I never said I was your friend. I'm Pia's friend. But you amuse me, so I help where I can. The point is, Cecilia's jealousy does have a foundation. Alex harbors quite the crush on you."

  "Oh! That's disgusting."

  "Whatever. It works to your advantage. All I have to do is tell Alex you want to do another painting of him. He'll be here faster than you can say, 'Who's a stupid girl? I am.'"

  "Gee, thanks."

  "Again, not your enemy, but also not your friend." And with that, she disappeared. Hopefully to go give someone else some ulcers.

  I had just finished in the shower when Pia arbitrarily knocked on my door then let herself in.

  "Why do you bother knocking, if you're not going to wait for an answer?"

  "It's convention, dear. I am nothing, if not polite."

  "Of course. What's up?"

  Pia began making my bed, a task I had yet to do this morning. "I wanted to talk to you about last night. It seems we have another mystery on our hands and I wanted to see how you thought we should proceed."

  "I think we should let the police take care of it."

  "Don't be silly. They'll muck it all up, as usual." She sat on the now made bed. "Besides, the crime occurred on my property and it's going to slow the process of my remodel. I think I'm rather heavily invested."

  "No more so than I. I mean, someone tried to kill me last night."

  "All the more reason I'd think you'd want to investigate. The MNT- wait, that really doesn't work here, does it?"

  Pia was referring to the last time someone had tried to kill me- yes, this has happened before- and I had coined the murdered the 'Mysterious Number Three,' or MNT for short. In this case, the murderer was not an unknown third person at the crime scene and so the title didn't fit.

  "How about, 'Construction Site Intruder?' That has a nice ring to it."

  "There's already a television show with that name."

  "There is? I don't think I've ever heard of it. Odd name for a television show."

  "CSI?"

  She laughed. "Oh! I didn't think it through. All right. How about-"

  "How about we just let this go and let the police take care of it," I said again.

  She frowned. "Darling, you really are going to make a wonderful Watson when you stop being so stubborn. Need I explain to you how vital it is to get this case wrapped up as soon as possible? The sooner we catch the criminal, the sooner the remodel continues, the sooner you move out of here and back into your own home."

  Leave it to Pia to find my weak spot.

  Dropping onto the bed beside her I said, "Okay, where do we start?"

  "Finally. Down to business. Okay, the Case of the Midnight Murderer- you like it?"

  "Sure, whatever."

  "Well, darling, it needs a name. So, we can just call the man MM, since he's the midnight murderer. Any objections?"

  I wanted to scream, 'MOVE ON!!' Of course, I didn't.

  "Sure, okay, he's the MM. Now what?"

  "Well, I suppose there are several questions we have to answer. First, who is the MM and what was his purpose for killing Mike? We need to discover the motive. If we discover that, we will no doubt reveal the murderer. Secondly, who does the second skeleton belong to? Assuming there is one and there's more than just a jawbone."

  "I'm already working on that."

  She clapped her hands. "You really are a superb Watson. Okay, fill me in."

  I quickly told her about my suspicions, and Gloria's as well, and the plan Gloria and I had concocted for getting to the bottom of it.

  "That's all well and good, but if we're going to try this we first have to wait for your parents to return home. There's a good chance all hell is going to break loose with Cecelia involved and we can't afford to take that chance with your parents hanging about." She frowned. "I hate delays."

  "I don't see any other way."

  "Unfortunately, neither do I. Okay, so Monday- your parents are leaving tomorrow, aren't they?" I nodded. "All right, Monday evening we'll get Olivia over here-"

  "Olivia?"

  "We're going to need some kind of protection."

  I had my doubts that Olivia could provide any, but I said nothing.

  "And then we go ahead with the plan. Meanwhile, I'm going to see what I can find out about Mike himself, ask a few questions of my original contractor. After all, he's the one that recommended Mike. Also, I think I need to get all the old survey maps of this place and I think he has them."

  "Good idea. I'm beginning to wonder if Alex was telling the truth about the pool. Maybe there really was one here and it's since been filled in. And he's at the bottom of it."

  "So then the question becomes, if that really is Alex's remains, what, if anything, does this have to do with Mike's murder?"

  "Hopefully that's something Cecilia can answer."