The Source

Page 20

 

  At first I couldn’t find the words. Ellen’s crystal had been out there with us, but that only prevented remote spying. I stood there with my mouth open. “You were listening to us . . . You could somehow hear us. ”

  “Not exactly. One of the witches who created me is deaf. From him, I received the ability to read lips. For the record, the families have forbidden me to help you in any way with Maisie, but they said nothing about your mother. ” He started to leave but turned back to face me again. “You think you know Peter, but perhaps there are things he doesn’t even know about himself. ”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Don’t you find it strange that he has been the sole suitor to knock on your door, the sole human suitor?”

  “Regular guys tend to get freaked out by my family. By the magic. ”

  “That’s why witches tend to marry other witches, but our Peter was never put off by the magic. Has this never struck you as strange?”

  “I will not discuss Peter with you,” I said, my loyalty and love for Peter raising my ire against the golem. Emmet nodded and left my room quietly, leaving the door open behind him. I crossed to close it, but Ellen appeared before I could.

  “Did you get what you needed from the golem?” she asked, crossing the threshold to my room without waiting for permission. “If not, you know I’d be glad to teach you. ”

  “No,” I said. “I think I understand how to charge the room now. Thanks. ” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but I was not in the mood to provide her with any details about my lesson. Ellen turned the chair by my makeup mirror around and sat down facing me. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I was planning on heading out. ”

  “You can spare me a few minutes, can’t you?” She straightened her skirt and smoothed down her chic haircut. “Please. ”

  “All right,” I said and sat on the foot of my bed.

  “I know you are not happy that I intend to continue spending time with Tucker . . . ”

  “No, indeed I am not,” I said, my words coming out more sharply than I had intended. “You are doing so well. I don’t want to see him drag you down again. ”

  “Oh, Mercy, from your perspective, I can see why you think he drags me down. That’s because you are only judging on what is visible from the outside. You don’t know the innumerable times he has pulled me up. ” She tilted her head, her blonde hair falling at an angle around an angelic face. Her cornflower-blue eyes were no longer looking directly at me. Instead, they fell to a spot on the floor between us. “I was nearly mad. No, I was mad with grief after I lost Erik and our son. I didn’t want to live in this world without them anymore. I tried to keep things together, at least until they had been buried. The night after the funeral—” She stopped talking as large wet drops fell from her eyes. “I took a razor and slit my wrists. ” I gasped at this revelation. “I wanted to end it. I wanted to die so badly I didn’t mind the pain. I didn’t mind the blood. I didn’t mind the thought of one of you finding me. I was in such torment, I couldn’t find a single ray of light to pierce it. ”

  She looked up at me, the horror in her eyes cutting into me as a razor had once cut into her flesh. “I couldn’t die, Mercy. My own powers wouldn’t let me. The cuts healed almost as quickly as I could make them. ” She stood and walked over to my window, looking out on the perfect day. “After four or five hours, I gave up. I poured myself a drink. I cleaned up the mess. I went to bed. ” She turned back toward me. “The next day, I ran into Tucker down on River Street. He was in the process of moving into his office. ”

  “And he took advantage of your pain. ”

  “No. No. ” She rushed forward and sat next to me and grasped my hands. “Look at me,” she commanded, and I did. “He didn’t take advantage of me. He let me take advantage of him. ” I said nothing, but my doubt must have been obvious. “Not that it is truly any of your business,” she said, “but we enjoyed almost two years as friends before we ever acted on our attraction to each other. ”

  “He didn’t need you for sex. He had Tillandsia for that. ”

  Ellen’s eyes flashed wide with anger, but she regained control. “You’re right. He didn’t need me for sex. He didn’t need me for money. He didn’t need me for anything. He wanted me. He has been a true friend to me for years. ”

  “A true friend who hits on your nieces. ”

  “I’ve spoken to him about that. He has promised me that he will never approach you to participate in Tillandsia again. He’s leaving the group himself. He’s organizing the renovation of their new meetinghouse, and then he’s done. ”

  “Ellen,” I said, exasperated. “His promises are worth nothing. He’s not a good man. He is just no good, plain and simple. ”

  “Peter thinks he’s good enough to take on as a business partner. ”

  “Yeah, and I am not thrilled about that either, but at least it’s only business. There are laws to help keep him in line, but you gotta know Tucker will never be faithful to you. He’s incapable of it. It isn’t in his DNA. ”

  “Yes. I know that. I know exactly what kind of man I am getting with Tucker. I don’t have to question if he’s lying to me. I know that he will lie if it is more convenient for him than telling me the truth. ” She laughed at a joke she hadn’t shared. “And I sure as hell don’t have to lie awake nights crying and wondering if he’s cheating on me, because I know that if he is not in bed next to me, he is making love to someone else. ” She paused and looked deeply into my eyes. “That’s who he is. He is a liar and a cheat, but he is also so kind and loving toward me. When he’s with me, I know it’s because there is no one else he’d rather be with at that moment. When he makes love to me, it’s truly me he wants. With Erik, I knew his body would be with me, while his heart and mind were with your mother. ”

  It nearly took my breath away to hear her say that; I hated that my very existence was due to her husband’s infidelity, but I knew she wasn’t saying it out of cruelty. “Besides, he doesn’t run from the magic like most men. I think the strangeness he senses around me is part of what attracts him to me. Don’t judge me, sweetheart. And don’t judge Tucker. It’s true he’s a bastard, but he isn’t hiding any kind of ulterior motives. With Tucker, what you see truly is what you get. ”

  “But Ellen, you deserve better. ”

  “Oh, sweet girl, you have no idea what I deserve, but I need you to understand something. Tucker is nowhere near perfect, but he makes me happy in ways no one else can. ”

  “I don’t want to hear any more of this,” I said and stood, heading for the door.

  “Mercy,” Ellen called out, sharply enough to get me to stop in my tracks and turn back toward her. “Tucker has asked me to marry him. ” She gave me a few seconds to register her words fully. “I’ve said yes. ”

  ELEVEN

  Ellen stood and left me standing there, my mouth still hanging open. I decided that getting out of the house was indeed the best thing to do. I spun the chair she’d been sitting in around and sat down in front of the mirror. I ran a brush through my hair as I argued with people who weren’t even there. Peter held the first position on my list. Tucker had managed to manipulate my fiancé into going into business with him. Tucker was looking to worm his way into the family, and their partnership had helped legitimize the bastard. In a separate confrontation, I had an imaginary conversation with Ellen, telling her that she was out of her cotton-picking mind if she thought I’d act as bridesmaid. Then I realized that I was acting petty, even if only in my own imagination.