Thomas Kindercook and the Pink Pyjamas

  Alanna was agape. She looked as if Tretchbolt were speaking another language entirely. Thomas was used to this. He didn't know anything about the history of Alumia, so he just naturally accepted everything everyone said. He was an Alumian sponge.

  “What are you talking about Tretchbolt? I have never heard of any Theonian Empire. I would think this would be something I would know about.”

  “I wouldn't expect you to know about it princess. This is something that happened long before you, your father, even his father was born. Also, it happened far to the north, where there was no immediate threat to any of the southern dragons.”

  Alanna looked at Tretchbolt as if she had just seen him for the first time. “Just how old are you exactly?”

  Tretchbolt just grinned. He wasn't going to say anything more on the subject.

  Thomas stood up and dusted himself off. He had forgotten that Tretchbolt was coming along. “Shouldn't you be off torturing some of your recruits?

  “Hmm? Flingsnot is taking over my training duties for now. I am going to accompany you to Westminster.”

  “What?” Alanna cried.

  “Flingsnot!?” Thomas exclaimed.

  Tretchbolt was having difficulty focusing on the two of them at once and decided to answer Alanna first.

  “I am assigned to protect you princess. I can't do that too well if you aren't here, so I am going with you.”

  “We can take care of ourselves Tretchbolt.”

  “Like Thomas did the other night with Gatsby?”

  Thomas flushed. He would have to bring that up wouldn't he? He realized his bad memory was probably going to get him into big trouble when they weren't in quite such a public location. He was supposed to have told Alanna. It was probably for the best however, or she would have packed another cart. Thomas stared at Tretchbolt who, somewhat, blotted out the sun.

  “That brings me to the other order of business. The king also wishes for you to be trained as a warrior as well Thomas.”

  It was Thomas' turn for his mouth to hang open. “Warrior? What? No... I don't think you heard him right. I'm a wizard, I mean, look at me. I'm scrawny, I can barely hold up a sword. I got an A in math for crying out loud!”

  “Well Mr Wizard, the king wants to make sure you are able to protect his daughter, no matter the circumstance. To that end, I am to put you through Turkin's own training.”

  A slow smile crept across Alanna's face. “Well, that sounds reasonable to me.”

  Thomas was pretty sure that anything unpleasant for him would be reasonable.

  “What the heck, is that?” Tretchbolt did a double take. He walked up to the precariously stacked cart and placed a hand on the side. Giving a light shove back and forth, the mountain stacked on the cart teetered threateningly.

  “We aren't bringing this.”

  Alanna's self satisfied smile dissolved into a deep frown. “What are you talking about?”

  “That. We're not taking that.” Tretchbolt replied offhandedly.

  “You work for me, and we ARE taking the cart.”

  “Look Alanna, normally I don't like to explain myself, but since you are the the princess, I'll make an exception this time. We are going to be travelling, trying our very best to move undetected. We wish to move swiftly. Both of these objectives are defeated if we bring this house on wheels.” Tretchbolt's resolve was absolute on this issue. Thomas quickly wiped the smile off his face when he caught Alanna's expression.

  “Understand?”

  Alanna said nothing, but begrudgingly nodded.

  “Good.” Tretchbolt tossed an empty pack to Alanna.

  “Whatever you are bringing, will have to fit in that pack.”

  “You're serious!” Alanna was obviously not used to being told what to do. Too many years with servants, and no one to keep her in check.

  “I've already packed mine.” Thomas said with a feeling of great satisfaction.

  Alanna stuck her tongue out at Thomas.

  “Alright! Well as clearly you still have some sorting to do,” Tretchbolt looked at Alanna, then the cart. “I will meet you at the south gate at midday.” Tretchbolt didn't wait for any reply, but walked purposefully down the path that led out of the palace grounds.

  Alanna looked at the pack that Tretchbolt had tossed her, then at the cart, and sighed.

  “Don't look at me.” Thomas had already had his fill of the cart all morning. He decided to walk over to a nearby stone bench and bask in the early morning sun. There was something satisfying about watching Alanna fret over her own belongings.

  It ended up taking most of the morning, and a good amount of complaining before Alanna was finally down to one overstuffed pack.

  “You're about as useful as a potato.” Alanna snapped.

  “You'd be surprised just how useful potatoes can be. They can generate electricity, they taste great when fried, you can use them in art projects...”

  The look on Alanna's face caused Thomas to loose his train of thought.

  Thomas smiled nervously. “Ready to go then?”

  Alanna struggled with her pack causing Thomas no small amount of amusement.

  “Alright then. Let's get going. I can't believe that you almost used the entire morning packing a single pack.”

  “Alright, so maybe I am not the epitome of adventuring, but I am trying to make sure we are ready for whatever we face this time around.”

  “If you really had to search through that cart for an answer to some problem that arose, we'd all be dead by the time you found it. All you need are your clothes, a few sets, your make-up... perfumes, or whatever it is that girls bring with them, ONE set, and a few basic pieces of survival equipment.”

  Alanna nudged Thomas with her hip as the walked toward the south gate, causing him to lose a few steps. “And you didn't enjoy any of the food that I brought along last time?”

  “I admit, some of the spices were nice to have, but you really don't need a lot. A good river for water and fish and we should be fine.”

  The southern area of BlueShift had a sense of age that the rest of the city lacked. The streets were cobbled with stones that were badly worn. Several of the stones were missing from the walkway, causing Thomas to miss his step and stumble every so often. The buildings also had a look of age that wasn't as evident in the central part of the city. The walls bowed, and the doors and doorways were only roughly squared off. The extreme age of this part of the city gave the area a sense of character and individuality that was unique to this part, but at the same time it made it seem slightly more ominous. The midday sun did little to penetrate the Shadows of the back alleys. Thomas found himself unconsciously walking closer to Alanna.

  “Any closer and people might start thinking we're a couple.” Alanna remarked.

  “Huh? Oh sorry. There's just something about this area of the city that seems... I don't know. Not right?”

  Alanna nodded. “This is the old city. Thousands of years ago, there was a great fire that gutted most of BlueShift. The palace and most of the Northern city were rebuilt. The only part of the city that survived was this area, the south area. These days, the poorest of the citizens live here. If trouble arises, it's usually linked to something in this part of town.”

  That didn't make Thomas feel any better.

  Thomas absentmindedly rubbed the Dragon Eye Tattoo on his arm.

  Thomas' itching caught Alanna's attention and she grimaced. She had been avoiding talking to Thomas about the tattoo, but there was no avoiding it. He would have to know sooner or later.

  “I never had a chance to talk to you about that. Do you understand the significance of the Dragon Eye Tattoo?”

  “Your father told me it was part of the marriage ceremony. I don't know, he seemed a little dire about the whole thing.” Thomas still felt a little awkward talking about marriage with Alanna.

  Alanna sighed and was just about to say something when Thomas stepped right into the tallest looking beggar Alanna had ever seen
. The scrawny older man went stumbling forward into the cobbled street and cried out in pain.

  Thomas felt terrible. “I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there! I was a little distracted. Are you alright?”

  “Alright, sir. Do I look alright to you?”

  The old man twisted awkwardly around and fumbled his way back on to his feet. Now that the beggar brought himself up to his full height, he seemed quite imposing despite his age. Had he been from earth, Thomas would have guessed he was a retired basketball player. His Face was fairly nondescript, but his eyes caught Thomas' attention. They bulged almost unnaturally.

  “I've just been barrelled over by a blundering... I say, you're the princess, aren't you?” The beggar quickly wiped his hand off on his grubby clothing and proffered his hand. Alanna frowned at Thomas in dismay, but she still took his hand, apprehensively.

  “I'm quite sorry about that little outburst. My mistake. Clumsy me backing into you like that. Name's Gill. You are?”

  Gill was looking at Thomas expecting an answer. “Thomas.” said Thomas.

  The old man smiled showing an impressive set of white teeth. “Well then, that's just great then. Met me a princess and... ah... a Thomas. Well, don't mean to be rude, but I must be on my way. Gutters to peruse, alms to collect. You understand.” The beggar offered his hand to Thomas. Tentatively Thomas took Gill's hand and shook.

  “Flavelhaben.” Gill proclaimed as he nodded his head and walked off down an alley.

  “Flavelhaben?” Thomas said perplexed.

  Alanna sighed. “Eidyvanthase istvego shevantha.”

  Now Alanna seemed to be spouting the same sort of garbage the beggar had. “Do you understand what he said?”

  Alanna blinked and looked at Thomas funny. “Romlivandy gotugo ugaistsha?”

  “Alright. That's enough Alanna. Don't play around.”

  Something about the way Alanna was looking at him made him feel uncomfortable. She didn't look like she was kidding. In fact, she looked a little worried.

  “Vanvinpe ugaistsha istzivanuga Dyliistshevanei?”

  Thomas felt sick. What was going on? He tried think quickly. What had happened? Alanna had suddenly started to talk in strange tongues right after they bumped into the beggar... Gill. Wait. no... it was Gill that had said the something strange first, right after they shook hands.

  Thomas whipped his hand up and stared in horror. The ring was gone. He closed his eyes and groaned. “It's my ring. It's gone!” Alanna looked more concerned than ever.

  “Ugaistsha vanvinpe eidyvanvindytuthase dyist eitavanvinpe shepe Dyliistshevanei.” Alanna was becoming increasingly agitated.

  “MY ... RING.” That had to be the answer. The ring was what Thomas attributed all his powers to. His ability to cast spells, and apparently, his ability to speak in this world, had neatly been snatched away. Thomas desperately looked around the marketplace, trying in vane to see the creature that had stolen his ring. He turned to Alanna and did his best impersonation of Gill, bulging his eyes out and pointing to them. Alanna caught on immediately. Thomas and Alanna began to run down the alley they had seen Gill disappear into only moments before. When they came to a fork in the road, Alanna pointed to the right and indicated that Thomas should go the other way. Thomas needed no goading. He ran down the alley as fast as his legs would take him with the large pack on his back. The lane he was sprinting down had an almost organic flow to it. It twisted into a narrow path that led in a half moon between to very old buildings. The light of the midday sun wasn't strong enough to penetrate the tight corridors of the old paths of this city. The features of the alley were dully illuminated by the tertiary bounces of light from above. The walls were dirty and derelict. Thomas was starting to feel a little self conscious. He realized now, he had been in such a panic trying to find the man with his ring, that he didn't really know his way back. He couldn't talk to anyone, and he was in a very seedy area of town. Worst of all, he had been stripped of his magic, the only defence he had in this world.

  “Alanna!” No response. Even if she did hear him, there was no telling if she would understand that he was calling her. “Alanna!”

  Thomas started to feel claustrophobic. The ancient walls felt like they were closing in on him, trying to strangle him in their silent ancient stonework. He spun around tripping backwards over a cat that screeched as he stepped on its tail.

  Tap, tap, tap. Something prodded his shoulder. He swung around so violently that he almost knocked over Alanna who had come up behind him. He was filled with relief seeing her. She smiled at him. Alanna held her hands, palm up and shook her head. He wasn't surprised that she hadn't found Gill. He would have expected them to chase after him. Now Thomas wasn't sure if he would ever find his ring again. The only thing left for him to do, was to search out Edric now and hope he had a solution.

  Alanna took Thomas by the hand and led him silently through the streets until they eventually came upon the south gate. Tretchbolt was standing there with an irritated look on his face. He looked like he was arguing with one of the guards on duty there, but Thomas still couldn't understand anything that was being said.

  “Alvantazieitugopeei vanthago pethadyvinvantuveei alshady ugaistsha dyististzi ugaistshavin eirompepedy dytushepe!”

  “Dyvinpedytaalistvedy rompe livanestpe van vetudydyvepe ryvinistalvepeshe.” Alanna called out to Tretchbolt.

  “Seististgo sevinvanestuga, tu tuliistshaselidy ugaistsha dyromist romistshavego. Rompe livanestpe dyist sepedy seisttuthase!”

  “Etistshepedylituthase tuet romvinistthase romtudyli dyliistshevanet. Tu tavanthady shathagopevinetdyvanthago romlivandy lipeet etvanugatuthase. Tu dylituthazi dylivandy lipe tavanthady shathagopevinetdyvanthago shaet petudylipevin.” Alanna was trying her best to make it look like she wasn't talking about Thomas, but she kept glancing at him surreptitiously out of the corner of her eye.

  Tretchbolt turned to look at Thomas. “Ugaistsha tavanthady shathagopevinetdyvanthago shepe?”

  “I can't understand you.” Thomas replied in vane.

  Tretchbolt looked back at Alanna. “Lipe tavanthady shathagopevinetdyvanthago shepe.”

  “Tu Dylituthazi dylivandy tu gishaetdy etvantugo dylivandy.” Alanna had an exasperated look on her face.

  The two of them talked for a little, while Thomas just glanced around in hopes of sighting the man who had stolen his ring. No such luck, he was long gone. Thomas was lost in thought, ignoring what Tretchbolt and Alanna were saying until something hard poked him in the shoulder. Tretchbolt was standing there regarding Thomas seriously.

  “MM MM.” Tretchbolt pointed out of the gate and continued to grunt like an ape. “MMM MMM!”

  “Alright. Lead the way monkey man.”

  Tretchbolt may not have known what Thomas said, but it didn't stop him from casting an accusing glare at Thomas as he passed him through the gate. Thomas kept hoping that nothing came up along the way that would require him to speak.

  *****

  “A Slink.” Tretchbolt was chewing on the end of a piece of sweetgrass as his eyes scanned the surroundings for threats.

  “Pardon?” Alanna had never heard of a Slink before.

  “You said he disappeared almost instantly after stealing the ring from Thomas.”

  “Yes, but he could have just had some place to hide.”

  “True, but the description you gave, his mannerisms, I would bet my blade that you ran into a Slink.”

  Alanna sighed. “All we can do now is hope that Edric can help Thomas.”

  “And if not?” Tretchbolt gave Alanna a level look.

  “Then it may be years before we're able to have a meaningful conversation.”

  “Well, no point in waiting.”

  Tretchbolt slowed down and fell in beside Thomas, who had been straggling along behind them the entire way.

  “Thomas. I am going to teach you the most important word in our language.” Tretchbolt reached around to his scabbard and drew his sword out.

/>   Thomas' eyes grew large and he started to edge away from Tretchbolt.

  Tretchbolt rolled his eyes. “Sword.” he held out the sword to Thomas and Thomas reached out to grab it.

  “No!!” Tretchbolt thwacked Thomas' forehead with the flat side of the sword leaving a red impression and clearly startling Thomas. “I said Sword!”

  Thomas rubbed his forehead in irritation as he regarded Tretchbolt suspiciously.

  “Good gravy I said sword. SWORD.” Tretchbolt held the sword up to Thomas again. Thomas reached for it again. Tretchbolt thwacked Thomas in the forehead again.

  “I didn't say take the sword, I said SWORD. Are you daft?” Tretchbolt began to bang on Thomas' head like a drum with the flat of the sword. “Sword, sword, sword, SWORD!” Thomas tried ducking away after the third or forth hit and hid behind Alanna rubbing his head.

  Tretchbolt turned to Alanna and stated dryly, “You two are doomed to spend the rest of your days in silence.”

  The sullen party walked for the rest of the afternoon along the road that led to Westminster in awkward quietness. Alanna didn't even bother talking to Tretchbolt who seemed to be sulking after failing to teach Thomas his favourite word. The silence gave Alanna time to think to herself. About her relationship with Thomas. She had fallen in love with a human completely by accident. Falling in love with such a short lived race was bad enough, but he was from another world as well. His home was elsewhere. Two very big problems. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had now lost his ability to communicate. Thomas had to learn to speak again, otherwise it was just a matter of time before things ended in tragedy at the business end of one of Tretchbolt's language lessons.

  The day wore into evening and the despair in Alanna's heart, grew like an evil seed having found purchase in fertile soil. Tretchbolt stopped them as the sky faded from crimson to a deep lavender. The noises of the wild were starting to buzz to life in their universal symphony of sounds. They had come upon a clearing in the middle of the forest. There were fallen trees, which made for a good area to make a fire and there was an area that levelled off nicely, where they could setup some tents. There was even a small stream tucked in behind a rise just at the edge of the clearing to wash up in.