Finding Her Way
"Mrs. Temple, this is so breathtaking. Thank you." I looked her in the eye. She grinned through her tears bravely. It was all she could handle at the moment.
"The other gift is outside." Mr. Temple said with a scratchy throat. He was struggling in his own way too. Corinne could tell that he was a quiet one. So far Corinne could not see where the gruffness of their son had come from.
They all followed the Temples outside to see two gleaming wood cabinets waiting next to the door.
The cabinets were duplicates, each one had more than ten drawers, and each stood near to five feet tall. The carving and details on each drawer and edge was amazing workmanship. Each little metal knob was a work of art.
"I do not know what to say. I will treasure them." Corinne walked over and touched the smooth wood, every edge fine and flawless. The dark gold finish was waxed, oiled, and shined in the morning sun.
"We know of your love for medicines and herbs from your father's stories. We thought this would be useful for you. We do hope they are a blessing to you." Mr. Temple held his wife's shoulders as he spoke softly.
The Temple's excused themselves shortly after that and Corinne was still admiring the cabinets. Their leaving did something to her heart. She felt sad and empty.
"Such a strange way to feel." Corinne said to herself. Andrew was a short part of her life she'd rather forget, and here he was again sneaking into her mind in another way.
"Did you care much for Andrew? Was his passing difficult for you?" Corinne's father joined her. Corinne looked around and saw that Marie and Coop had left them alone to talk.
"His passing was difficult but not in the way you think." Corinne stood quiet for a minute, gathering her words. It was tough to talk about those that were gone. If they were missed it was tearful if they acted badly it felt wrong to tarnish their reputation.
"Andrew and I were not romantic at all, in any way." Corinne did not want too, but looked him in the eye when she said the last part, she forced herself to continue. He nodded slowly to let her know he understood.
"His plan was an annulment when we arrived." Corinne stated plainly. This conversation felt stilted and awkward. The last time they spoke seriously was when she was still a girl in braids. Now she felt differently, she had done something that had stretched her beyond her childish thoughts and changed her forever.
"I do hope he was kind to you Cori." Corinne's father spoke softly, fearing the worst.
Corinne said nothing, but the look in her eyes and a small shake of her head told her father what the truth of the matter was.
Corinne looked away and faced the east where the sun rose and peeked through the mountains.
"This journey has done something to me, Father. I can feel it in my bones. It has taught me about what is true, who God is, and what love really looks like." Corinne looked back at her father and his face was a wash of emotions. She held his hand and they watched the sun rise for a while.
* * * * *
Chapter Thirty-Five
Sept 26 1848
Corinne's first trip to town was exciting for her. She had dreamt of arriving for so long she imagined many times what it would look like for many miles. She was expecting a few small buildings, a lumber mill, maybe a crude church building. She knew towns weren’t built overnight. She had no grand illusions that some elaborate society had blossomed in the few years that Oregon City had been developed. She was pleasantly surprised by the booming town as she rode through. Her father was a good guide and told her about every building they passed. There were several mills, lumber and wool that used the waterfront property. There were logs floating down the river and men standing on rafts guiding them.
The buggy came to a stop where a good opening gave a view of the waterfalls that were showing off upstream. There were islands of rock midstream with carvings of circles dissected.
"What do those symbols mean?" She pointed to the carvings.
"The local Clackamas tribe said those have been there for hundreds of years. They said other tribes lived here before them." Her father had a good grasp of the city's history and Corinne was eager to know everything about it. It was her home now. The falls and the river gave it a water town feeling but Corinne knew the ocean was nearby. She hoped to visit the Pacific Ocean soon.
"You are so much like your mother, Corinne, thirsty to know about everything around you. She would be so proud of you." The statement made Corinne a little teary eyed but they continued the tour. Cooper sat in the front and pointed out his favorite places, too.
They reached the mercantile and Corinne asked if they could stop. She had a few things she wanted to purchase, as well as wanting to catch a glimpse of Clive.
The Harpole family climbed out of the buggy and walked into the mercantile. Corinne and Maria headed to the fabric section. Corinne wanted a few personal things made since so many items in her wardrobe were ruined on the trip. She had a few fancier things but Corinne wanted to be practical too. After a few minutes, she settled on a navy blue print that went well with her features. Maria loved sewing and was enjoying the idea of having someone to sew for again. Corinne could easily say that sewing wasn’t her gifting. At best, she could only mend.
Corinne asked the clerk at the front if Clive was in but was disappointed. Corinne tried to hide her distress but felt Marie slip an arm around her shoulder. She wanted to see Clive and have her family know him better.
"I believe they have all been invited to the Harvest party this weekend. We can see them then. I will also invite them to dinner after the party sometime." Marie said to remind Corinne gently. They left soon after with the fabric and a few purchases from her father and stepmother.
Later that evening she visited Clover in the stables. Clover was healing nicely and in a day or so would want a ride around the pasture. Corinne gave Clover a good brushing and an apple. She talked to Clover for a while about how good she was on the journey and how Corinne had counted on her the entire trip. With a few extra love taps on the rump and a nose rub Corinne went inside and washed up for family dinner.
They were all talking about the upcoming harvest party. There would be games and prizes and since they were hosting at the Harpole ranch there was lots of last minute things to do in the next few days. Corinne ate dinner and halfheartedly listened. She was excited about the celebration but was thinking of her friends from the journey and missing their company too. She longed to know how Chelsea was doing but mostly she wondered about Lucas. Had he sent word to Sarah? Did he still think of her since the Wind River Mountains?
She enjoyed the family but could not help thinking of her own dream a little, her own lavender fields. She knew they were just dreams but somehow this land seemed a good place for dreams. Corinne went to bed early feeling scattered and tired.
* * * * *
The next day she was invited to dinner with the Temples next door. They had kept to themselves for a few days to mourn and go through their son's things. Corinne was guessing they wanted to talk about what had happened. Corinne wasn’t looking forward to going through Andrew's last days but knew it was important to share with his parents.
After a day spent helping her family prepare for the harvest party she took the path to the Temple's house. She carried some flowers she picked to give to Mrs. Temple, Corinne felt so confused about what to expect that night.
Mrs. Temple loved the flowers. She welcomed Corinne into the cheery cabin where the table was set with blue and white china dishes. The cabin was built well and the windows, like her father’s cabin, were glass paned and open. The two women chatted about dishes and other small talk until Mr. Temple arrived.
"Please sit and we can start dinner before it gets cold." Mrs. Temple pointed to the table and Mr. Temple pulled out the seat for Corinne.
Dinner was a wonderful spread, with roast chicken and vegetables and potatoes and fresh bread. Corinne was still enjoying the food since her ending her journey. Cookie did a good job but home
cooked meals were something special now, less bugs, dirt and other things trying to sneak into your food while exposed to the elements.
"Mrs. Temple, this dinner is amazing. I am still getting used to eating food not prepared on a campfire or sheet stove." Corinne smiled politely to her hosts. She was hoping to make them feel more comfortable than she was.
"Please call us Henry and Linda, I am hoping we can call you Corinne."
"Of course, I am sorry to be so formal. I just want to make sure that you understand how sorry I am that we had to meet in such a terrible way." She saw tears starting to form in Linda Temple's eyes but Corinne continued.
"Your son and I weren't married long before he died. I have had four months of hard road to accept what happened. You have had only days. I know the hope you carried around in the long months of our journey must have been like mine to see my father. I am truly sorry it did not happen that way for you." Corinne felt a lump in her throat watching the woman mourn. This was not easy.
"We just wanted to get to know you better, in person. We have read Andrew's journal, Reggie brought it by a few days ago. He told us about Andrew's death and how hard it was on you. How much you tried to save him. We can't thank you enough for trying. We have seen cholera ourselves and know how quickly and painfully it can take someone." Linda brought a small bound book out of her apron. Corinne was guessing it is the journal they mentioned. Corinne had no idea Andrew had even kept a journal, she wondered what horrible things Andrew had written about her.
"After reading the journal we can see how much respect Andrew had for you and wanted to make sure you know that he thought you were an incredible woman." Henry Temple spoke up. Corinne could not be more shocked. "He brags for pages about how you made your own medicines from plants and helped everyone on the train with burns and illnesses and even took an accidental bullet out of him! I can't imagine you doing all those things and seeing you, just a tiny beautiful young woman, it boggles my mind."
Henry reached over, grabbed her hand, and looked to his wife. She nodded and looked at Corinne.
"I know it's not our place to ask but we were hoping perhaps you were with child." Linda did a quick look down to Corinne's obviously flat belly, did the math, frowned a little, and shook her head. "No, I can see that you are not. It's just a silly wish that a part of Andrew was still alive."
"I am so sorry to cause you any pain." Corinne said and reached out to hug this woman so clearly hurting. She did not want to expound on the kiss-less state of their marriage. It was not the appropriate time, and it may never be.
"We will survive sweet dear girl. You have taken care of my son when he needed you. For that I offer you everything I have. Please come to us if you ever have a need, and drop by for dinner often." She stood from the table and gave Linda a hug. Henry surprised her by embracing her too.
Corinne walked home with her brain in a spin. Andrew had written good things about her, and his family was so warm and welcoming. Perhaps being away at college so long had jaded Andrew or perhaps he just wasn't ready to be married. Corinne wrestled with her memory of Andrew and constantly questioned his actions in her head for the whole journey. Now perhaps she would wonder about him her whole life.
She walked into her father’s yard to see Sidney Prince talking with her father. He had his mother Ellie and a man that looked like an older version of him standing with them. From one awkward meeting to another, Corinne thought to herself.
"There is Corinne now. Dear, I was just telling them about how you were having dinner with the Temple's. I am so glad you didn't miss the Prince family. Perhaps you and Sidney can take a short walk while we old folks talk inside for a spell." Her father’s voice was cheery.
Corinne wanted to groan but instead she smiled politely and accepted Sidney's arm.
"I missed you Corinne." Sidney stared at her as they walked. Corinne could feel that strange feeling in her stomach again, the pressure of being nice when you just wanted to scream, like a teapot on the boil.
"Has your time at home been restful?" Corinne asked politely as they walked together, the dusk was beautiful with the sun going behind the mountains and the sky above them was a glowing orange and red. Corinne was certain even the sky was pressuring her into an unwanted romantic moment.
"Yes, our two-story home in town is much nicer than I expected. I can tell you honestly that I was never more grateful for a bed in my life." Sidney was being genuine and it made Corinne smile.
"I agree whole-heartedly. That and eating at the table without bugs buzzing around you is nice too." Corinne said with a chuckle.
He laughed and they shared a minute of quiet.
"Corinne, I know you have doubts about me, I can see it in your eyes but I want to say something to you and I hope you will hear me." He stopped and gave Corinne a serious look. Corinne let him talk. He would certainly hear her better if she gives him a chance to have his say.
"I am in love with you! I have asked your father's permission to court you but I want so much more." Sidney didn’t wait for a response and boldly grabbed her shoulders and kissed her fervently.
Corinne's anger grew fast as she realized how possessively he held her. She was forced into an embrace she did not want and couldn’t seem to get free of it. He was holding her tightly but after a few long seconds he relaxed his arm hold of her and Corinne quickly escaped and smacked his face so hard her hand stung.
"How dare you! I never gave you permission to kiss me. I am your friend only, Sidney." Corinne wiped her face unconsciously. She was spitting mad but not sure how to tell him.
"I am not in love with you Sidney. I don't want to be courted by you." She saw the hurt finally penetrate his eyes and though she didn’t want to hurt him, he needed to know.
"You are so beautiful, I have to have you Corinne. My father taught me to take what I want. I want you." His eyes were angry now.
"I am not a possession Sidney, I am a woman." Corinne's voice was calm but her brown eyes were still angry and confused by the young man's actions. "I don't want to hurt you Sidney but I don't care for you in that way. I never will."
"I don't think I can give up on you Corinne." Sidney declared firmly.
"You don't have a choice." Corinne started walking alone back to the cabin. She didn’t trust him anymore.
Sidney followed her silently and waited outside for his family. Corinne said her polite salutations to everyone then headed to her own room to collapse and try not to think. She heard the Prince family leave a while later, she was certain that Sidney wasn’t going to give up. She would have to make it clear to him that she wasn’t his!
* * * * *
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sept 29 1848
The Harvest party was starting soon and Corinne had taken a lot of trouble with her appearance. It was the first time she had dressed up since leaving Boston and she enjoyed looking pretty without any pressure to be perfect from her Aunt Rose.
Her long brown hair was done up beautifully by Marie, with curls and braids done just as fancy as any Boston society debutante, Marie had a special recipe for lip rouge that she learned from her own mother. The dark burgundy dress Corinne had worn only once in Boston was pulled from her trunks and pressed and was stunning, according to her father. Corinne glowed at his compliments. Corinne's brown eyes sparkled as she anticipated seeing her traveling companions. Corinne's father had run into Russell and Clive in town and promised that they would all be coming tonight. The whole town was talking about this event.
At fifteen minutes past four o'clock the guests started coming in. The host family's job was to greet everyone and make sure everyone felt welcome, so as the crowds grew larger Corinne wandered through the guests. She would point out the drink table or explain where certain events where going to be. She was well prepared for everything except for one thing. The Grant's arrival... She nearly squealed when she saw Chelsea, who was starting to 'show' in her pregnancy. Corinne glided as quickly as her dr
ess would allow her to go to get in a quick hug from her friend.
She cried and held Chelsea for a minute before they laughed and hugged again.
"You look so good Chelsea, I've been missing you." Corinne wiped a joyful tear from her friend’s face.
"I was thinking of you too dear, are you and your father getting along well?" Chelsea's honest eyes were searching her. Corinne knew that real friendship and concern were behind her gaze.
"Yes, wonderfully, he is re-married and I have a stepmother and brother. I am so happy that he has found a good companion."
"Well I have stolen you long enough. Point me to the drink table for I crave some lemonade. I think someone else wants your attention." Chelsea glided off in the direction of the drink table with her husband at her side. Corinne's heart did a flip when she looked up at Lucas who was waiting patiently by the cabin. His dark suit was nicely tailored and he looked every bit the Yale graduate. He leaned on the wall so casually Corinne thought perhaps he didn’t feel as knotted up inside as she did. A moment later as she drew nearer she could see she was wrong. He had been anxiously waiting for this, too.
"Walk with me down to the creek." Corinne said as she grabbed his arm.
"I missed those brown eyes of yours." Lucas said before he started walking. He pulled Corinne along through the grass and they sat down on the fallen log near the edge. A strange sweet fear mingled in her middle as she dared to look into his eyes.
"I missed you too," was all she had the courage to say. All the thoughts and dreams she had flew out the window and she felt like a simpering female.
She would try again. "Actually, I have been thinking about you a lot."
She missed his face, his strong chin competing with a grin that spoke of a boyish charm.
"Well I was hoping you would say that. I have had too much time to think since the last time we really talked. The waiting to come to you nearly killed me." He grinned and grabbed his chest dramatically. Even when being serious he had a way of making her smile.