My Sweet Escape

“Sure, no problem.” Hunter went and got the book from upstairs and brought it down. “I didn’t fill in the answers, so you can’t cheat off me.”

  “Well, I’d rather pass the test, so I think I’ll take my chances.” Hunter chucked the book at Dusty, and he caught it as I ducked.

  “No throwing books,” Taylor said from the couch. “They can’t protect themselves. You should know better, Hunter Zaccadelli.”

  “I hate to be that person, but I have a huge anatomy test and I have, like, a billion pages to read, so can you guys flirt later? Like, in your room? Quietly?” Renee said, glaring at us all like a pissed-off librarian.

  “Sorry, Ne,” Taylor said, ducking her head and going back to her book.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Hunter said, his accent creeping in.

  Dusty gave me a look before he whispered, “You’re not going to yell at me, are you?”

  “I’m still hearing talking,” Renee said, turning a page of her book.

  I pretended to zip my lips and pointed at Renee and then made a slashing motion across my throat and then pointed to him. I hoped he got the message. He gave me a look and flipped the book Hunter had given him open, and I went back to working on my studying for Pam’s class. I always did it first so my brain was at its most fresh and able to absorb the information.

  For a guy who made a lot of noises with his mouth, Dusty was really good at focusing. I kept looking up from my book and seeing if he was really studying or only pretending to, but he was always absorbed in whatever he was doing. He never even looked up, even though I was looking at him and we were sitting so close. It was like he’d shut the door and was in his own room that none of us could get into.

  I shook my head and went back to my work and read until I finished everything I absolutely had to finish and then started working on my blog. I was thinking about doing a new design, but since I knew next to nothing about HTML, I was kind of limited. I should just learn code. Maybe I could find a used book about it in the bookstore or something.

  “What’s that?” I turned my head the tiniest bit and found Dusty’s face almost resting on my shoulder. I slammed my laptop shut, startling everyone out of their study stupors.

  “Oh, my God, I think I just died a little,” Taylor said, holding on to her chest.

  “Sorry. Sorry.” I glared at Dusty, who still had his face way too close. As far as boys went, he definitely smelled a lot better than the ones I’d encountered. A lot of them covered up the fact that they didn’t shower too often with that nasty body spray that was probably toxic and slowly killing them with black lung disease. I tried not to close my eyes and lean into him and imagine him hanging up a fresh load of laundry, shirtless, of course, outside on a sunny day.

  Dear Jesus, what was I doing?

  He’d already said he wasn’t interested, and I wasn’t interested, so why did he keep doing things that made it seem like he was interested, and I kept thinking things like him hanging up laundry without a shirt on?

  I scooted away from him and turned my laptop so he couldn’t see the screen. He settled back in his position with the smallest of sighs and went back to taking notes. Or at least that’s what I thought he was doing, but then a paper airplane landed in my lap. Seriously? How old was he? Although, I had to give him points. Note passing was a lost art in the world of texting and Facebook messaging and tweeting your every vapid thought out to the world whether the world needed to know it or not.

  I didn’t look back at him as I unfolded the note.

  What didn’t you want me to see? Were you looking at porn? If yes, may I join you? If no, what were you doing?

  I turned and gave him a disgusted look before setting the note on the coffee table and scribbling an answer.

  You are a pig and it’s none of your business.

  I refolded the airplane and chucked it over my shoulder, not bothering to aim as I went back to working on my blog. I couldn’t really focus, though, because I thought that any moment he was going to stick his head over my shoulder again.

  My blog was mine. I didn’t post my real name, and there were no pictures of me so no one would ever know it was mine. My blog was...private. It was mine and no one knew about it. This was probably what Peter Parker and Bruce Wayne felt. Only, you know, their secret identities were more awesome than my secret blogging identity. I could say anything I wanted, be anything I wanted on my blog. That girl that I was didn’t matter. No one knew her. And besides, the blog wasn’t about me. It was about the music.

  A little while later, people started packing it in for the night. I expected Dusty to get up and leave, but he didn’t. He also didn’t pass the note back, either, and when I stole a glance at him, he was back to being focused. Weirdo.

  I was about to turn and ask him if he was going to stay all night when I heard a book close behind me.

  “Well, I should probably get back to my shack.” He got to his feet and everyone who was still downstairs mumbled their good-nights. He looked down at me as if he was expecting something. Was I supposed to walk him out?

  Hold up. Did he think this was a date? Was this a date? Why would this have been a date? Sure, dinner had been involved, but only because he’d been here when we were making and serving it.

  “See you later,” I said, and it sounded just as lame as it sounded in my head, and I felt as lame as I had the night before in his car.

  He opened his mouth, changed his mind and then made one of his drum sounds to cover it up. “’Bye, Red.”

  I gave him one of those two-fingered waves, and he did one back with a smile on his face.

  It wasn’t until after he was gone that I realized he’d taken the paper airplane note with him.

  Chapter 13

  “So I know your sister is, like, super down on parties, but I got an invite to one, and I can’t go on my own. Also, if you don’t want to come with me, I will hurt you. So, you’re coming,” Hannah said after bio the next day.

  “My sister is never going to go for it.”

  “I figured, which is why I thought I could talk to her and convince her.”

  I almost started laughing. That was never going to work, and it was cute that she thought it would.

  “It isn’t going to happen, Hannah. You’ve seen my sister in action.” Besides, I didn’t know if I’d really want to go anyway.

  “Oh, I have powers of persuasion.” Hannah didn’t seem like the type who would be all over going to a party, so I really wanted to know why she was into it.

  “Why do you want to go so much? Is it a guy?”

  “No, it’s not a guy. I just feel like I want to get the whole college experience, and that includes going to a frat party at least once. It’s on the college bucket list. I checked.”

  I wondered what else was on that list, because I’d probably taken care of most of it already. She was being weird about it, and I knew that it was another thing she wasn’t telling me about. In some ways I felt so close to Hannah, but in others I felt like she had all these secrets that she would rather die than share with me.

  “I’m not taking no for an answer,” she said, and I recognized determination on her face. For whatever reason, she had decided that this was a thing she was going to do, and I was going along with it. Hannah had never made any demands on me as a friend, and I was so used to it from my former friends that I felt like a bitch for saying no.

  “I might have a lead on a job that wouldn’t suck. If you agree to go, I’ll tell you about it.” It was like one of those game shows where they put a mystery box in front of you. I could win, or I could lose big. But it might be nice to go out and let loose, for real this time.

  “I will only say yes if you can convince Renee. Because I’ve already gotten myself into hot water enough, and she’s just starting to loosen up on me and let me do things.”
r />   Hannah put her hand out.

  “Deal. I have complete faith in my ability to convince her.” She was confident, that was for sure. “So I’ll be over this afternoon.”

  “If you want to come for dinner, you can. We always make plenty, and you wouldn’t be the first person who’s invited themselves over.” Crap, I hadn’t meant to mention Dusty coming over. I knew she’d want to overanalyze it and read more into it and say things that would totally mess with my head.

  “I don’t even need to ask who it was. I can figure it out based on the fact that you mentioned it and that you clearly don’t want to talk about it.”

  Well...maybe Hannah would turn out to be a sympathetic ear. I only paused for a second before launching into the story of Dusty helping me make dinner and then the airplane note. Of course, I left out the part about my own feelings. She was smart enough to figure them out anyway.

  “So I’m just...confused and I don’t know. He’s so...complicated.” I remembered Mase saying something about the complications being the best part of life.

  “Is that code for ‘sexy’? Because he is so into you.”

  “Then why does he tell me that he isn’t?” I made a frustrated sound that made a few people walking in front of us turn and give me a look like I was crazy. I was going to be late for math, but I didn’t care. It was the kind of class that you didn’t have to attend to get a good grade in. Hell, the tests were open book, and I’d heard the TA would point you to the right answers if you asked nice enough.

  “Look, I have to go, but we will pick this up later. What time should I come over?” she said.

  “Around six?”

  “See you later, girl,” she said, taking off for her next class, which was clear across campus. She was going to have to book it to get there.

  I went to math and spent the entire hour and fifteen minutes listening to Maroon 5. They were one of those groups I’d loved for so long, and their music was the equivalent of a hug, or a bowl of chicken soup. Warm and comforting.

  I drove back to Yellowfield House in a daze and was less-than-surprised to see Dusty’s car parked on the street.

  “Honey, I’m home,” I called as I shucked my shoes off and set my bag down in the entryway.

  “How was your day, dear?” Dusty called from the living room, where he was hanging out with Mase.

  “Are you moving in now?” I said, grabbing a can of soda from the fridge. “Do you want one?” I would have felt like a jerk not asking.

  “Nope, I’m good,” he said right behind me.

  “I swear to God, the next time you do that...” I couldn’t think of what I was going to do. “You know what? I won’t tell you what I’m going to do. The anticipation will just kill you, waiting for the moment. I would enjoy that.”

  “Easy, Red.”

  “Seriously, why are you here? Because I know you have a little bromance, but one half of that isn’t here right now, so it can’t be Hunter. And it can’t be because you love to cook. And it can’t be that you really, really love the house. So what is it?”

  I leaned on the fridge. I knew I was asking a question I wasn’t going to like the answer to, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to know the truth, whether I liked it or not.

  “Maybe it is something else that keeps me coming to this house. Maybe...maybe I’ve been waiting for the right moment to say it out loud.” He wouldn’t look at me, which meant that he might have been telling the truth. I was really tired of him always trying to change the subject, or making a joke out of things.

  “I really come here because I’m crazy about...this coffeepot.” He moved around me and stood by the fancy coffeepot that Hunter had probably bought and that cost more than my entire textbook budget for a year.

  “I mean, I really, really love it.” He leaned down and pretended to hug it and stroked it fondly.

  “Are you shitting me?”

  He stood up, his smile faltering for a second.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Just...nothing.” He’d done that on purpose to screw with me, and I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he totally had. I walked past him back into the living room. Mase was busy with a textbook and a highlighter.

  “What’s up, Jos?”

  “Nothing.” I turned on the television and flipped around. Dusty made sure he entered the room and sat down in the recliner loud enough so that I’d hear him. Jerk.

  I purposely settled on an annoying girlie reality show that he would probably never watch in a million years. I turned up the volume. Mase didn’t seem to mind. He was known for his deep focus when he was reading.

  We sat in silence as the girls went out shopping and to clubs and fought and made up with their boyfriends. I waited for him to beg for me to change the channel, or get up and leave. Maybe this was the way to get rid of him. Drive him away. I should start playing Nickelback, or that really angry Russian girl-band music I’d randomly found on the internet. I should start talking about menstrual cramps and yeast infections and other girlie shit he wouldn’t want to hear about.

  But then I would probably repulse the rest of the males in the house, and I didn’t really want to ruin their lives. Just Dusty’s.

  What was it about him that made me so crazy?

  He started softly making drum noises in the chair. Now he was messing with me. I turned the show up and he started making louder noises. I still wouldn’t look at him.

  “Can we take the volume down a notch? I’m going deaf over here, and I’m a big fan of standing near speakers at clubs,” Mase said, grabbing the remote and turning the volume down. “Are you okay, Little Ne? You’re being kind of...not you.”

  “I’m fine.”

  I was saved from further explanation by the arrival of Darah and a few minutes later Taylor and Hunter and then Renee.

  “So, Hannah’s coming over for dinner. I hope no one minds.”

  Everyone chimed in with how they didn’t, and they’d be more than happy to have her whenever she wanted to come over. Yellowfield House was like a sponge, soaking up random people, and I was one of them. Pretty soon they’d have to add a fourth level, or turn the basement into a dorm. I could just picture it with bunk beds lining the walls.

  Taylor and Hunter were on for dinner, and they were doing pizza, since everyone could choose what they wanted for toppings and we could make them individually. Hannah showed up just as we were flattening out our individual crusts. Of course Dusty was staying. I wanted to ask him if he was going to just move in, but I was kind of giving him the silent treatment for the thing about the coffeepot.

  “Hey, girl. And everyone,” she said, walking through the front door without knocking.

  Hannah got a warm welcome. I saw the same look in her eyes that I’d seen earlier when she’d told me about making me go to the party.

  “Pull up a ball,” Hunter said after she’d washed her hands. He gave her a ball of dough and a plate to roll it out on. “You just flatten it out as much as you can, and then put it on the pan here and we’ve got sauce and toppings. I recommend using the toppings to make your name, so you remember which one is yours and there’s no confusion. Okay?”

  “Got it, chief,” she said, giving him a salute and banging down the dough with a little too much force.

  Everyone made their pizzas, and we somehow fit them all in the oven at once. Darah and Mase shooed us all out of the kitchen as they cleaned up, so we had music sex in the living room, with Dusty doing backup drums for Hunter. I kept waiting for Hannah to make her move, but she just sat back and kept yelling out ridiculous song suggestions that made everyone laugh.

  It wasn’t until we were all stuffing our faces and Darah and Renee were recounting memories from one of the parties they’d gone to when they were freshmen.

&nb
sp; “Speaking of parties,” Hannah said. “There’s this really cool one happening at the Kappa Sigma house and I got an invite and I need a wing woman.”

  Her pronouncement was met with silence at first.

  “You want to go to a Kappa Sig party?” Hunter said, skeptical.

  “Well, I feel like my college experience won’t be complete without going to a frat party. It’s not that I want to go...it’s that I feel obligated to go. And I really shouldn’t go alone, so I need someone to escort me. Hey, Jos, what are you doing on Saturday night?” Was this her master plan? Because it wasn’t very masterful.

  “Absolutely not,” Renee said, practically yelling.

  “Well, how about this? How about you all come with us? Then we can all go and have a good time and you can supervise us and I can fulfill my dream. Win-win.”

  Dusty coughed.

  “You okay there, bud?” Hannah happened to be sitting next to him, so she banged him on the back.

  “Fine,” he choked out, taking a gulp from his water glass.

  “So,” Hannah said, turning back toward Renee. “Are you in?”

  All eyes were on Renee.

  She put her hands up. “Why do I have to be the deciding one? Someone else say yes or no. I don’t care either way.”

  “Could be fun,” Taylor said.

  “Right?” Hannah said, latching on to Taylor. Hunter shrugged.

  “I guess.”

  “What about you, Dare?” Mase said.

  “I’ve already been to one, and it wasn’t that bad.”

  Hannah smelled a victory.

  “I’ll come, too. Keep you girls in line. And you could use some extra muscle on your side,” Hunter said.

  “Agreed,” Mase said, nodding.

  “I’m in if you’re in, Nene.” Props to Paul for using the nickname at a time like this.

  “Well, I guess I have no choice,” Renee said, getting up and putting her plate in the sink. I knew this was going to happen. Now my sister was mad, and I was going to have to try to patch it up. Renee could stay mad for a while; I knew that from experience.