The Courage To Love

  ***

  Sean didn’t know what he expected, but the modest colonial with the front porch swing took him by surprise as did Mia’s large family gathered inside. All of her aunts and uncles had come for lunch, as had many of her cousins and their children. Activity and lively conversation filled the house. When they first arrived, he’d felt out of place, but within moments her grandmother and Aunt Nicole drew him into conversation.

  “Have you always lived in North Salem?” Mia’s grandmother asked as she handed him a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade.

  “Isn’t that where the President’s son met his wife?” Mia’s aunt asked from the counter where she prepared a salad.

  Everyone in town knew his sister had married the President’s son, Jake Sherbrooke. Since he rarely went far from town, he wasn’t accustomed to telling people who is brother in-law was. “He married my sister, Charlie.”

  “Your family owns the bed and breakfast,” Mia’s aunt said, recognition on her face. “I saw the episode when they featured it on the Travel Channel. It looked beautiful. So is that how you and Mia met?” The woman crossed to the stove as she spoke. “I was surprised when I heard she was bringing someone today. Mia has never brought anyone to a family gathering,” Mia’s aunt said, not pausing for him to get a word in.

  Sean looked over at Mia. Almost as soon as she walked in the door, she’d been pulled aside by two women who must’ve been her cousins, judging by their age and physical resemblance. Now she sat with them while holding a baby in her arms. As if sensing his gaze, she looked up from the baby she held and smiled. Instantly, the corners of his mouth turned upward.

  “I’ve never met any of her boyfriends. Have you, mom?”

  Although the woman addressed the question to Mia’s grandmother, it grabbed his attention. Mia hadn’t introduced him as her boyfriend, but he understood how her family might make the assumption. While he wasn’t sure the term fit him, a part of him liked the sound of it.

  “No, Sean’s the first,” the older woman answered as she headed outside with a platter of sandwiches.

  He opened his mouth prepared to correct them, but stopped. Soon enough he and Mia would part ways, so what did it matter if her family thought they were a couple? After today he’d never see them again anyway. “Do you need any help?” he asked as he tried to ignore the sharp pain that went through his heart at the thought of Mia leaving.

  “We’re all set. Besides you’re a guest,” Mia’s aunt answered before carrying a salad outside.

  Food covered both tables outside when he and Mia joined everyone in the backyard, and he’d seen several platters of cookies and brownies on the kitchen table. Drawn by the sweet smell of barbecue sauce, he made his way to the end of a table and the chicken.

  “Make sure you try the pasta salad,” Mia said as she added mixed greens to her own plate. “I don’t know what Gram puts in it, but it’s delicious.”

  Not a huge fan of pasta salad, he added some to his plate anyway. “Your grandmother would give Ma a run for her money when it comes to cooking. I thought Ma went overboard, but this is crazy.”

  “Gram didn’t make everything. My Aunt Nicole helped. She loves cooking. Aunt Patty probably helped, too,” she said as they moved toward some empty seats. “Both Gram and Aunt Nicole told me how much they like you by the way. I’m sorry I deserted you back there. I haven’t seen Andrea and Sydney since Andrea’s wedding.”

  “Cousins?”

  “Yep. I warned you that I had a huge family.”

  “Must be fun at the holidays.” It required little effort to picture the house crowded with happy relatives while they celebrated Thanksgiving or Christmas. His own holiday celebrations had always been small even before the divorce. Once his sister joined the Navy they’d often only included him and Ma. Since his sister’s retirement from the Navy, she’d begun to join them again, but even then there were only four seated around the dining room table. Growing up, his buddy Tony had always had a packed house for the holidays and although he’d never say it aloud, he’d envied Tony for that.

  “More like insane. I’m hoping to get here for Thanksgiving this year. I’ve missed the last few.”

  The ball left his hand and sailed through the air before her cousin James caught it and took off. When James crossed into the imaginary end zone, scoring a touchdown, Sean gave her cousin Cooper a high-five. For the first time since his conversation with his father, Sean appeared relaxed and carefree. Or at least as carefree as he ever looked. All too often, Sean carried himself as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders.

  Farther down the yard, Sean and her cousins lined up again for the next play in their backyard football game. He stood between her cousins James and Cooper. Before the play started James said something and Sean burst out laughing. At the rare sound Mia smiled.

  “How long have you two been together?” Sydney asked as she stopped next to her.

  “About a month.” Her eyes followed Sean as he took off after Sydney’s husband, who now carried the ball. In the blink of an eye George hit the ground, his shorter legs no match for Sean.

  “He’s no Mark Walden, but he’s cute.” Sydney switched her baby to her other hip as she spoke.

  The word cute and Sean didn’t belong in the same sentence, but she kept the thought to herself.

  “Speaking of Mark Walden, I don’t know how you manage to work with him every day. The guy is gorgeous. How do you kiss him and remember your lines?”

  “Easy. It’s just a job when I kiss him.” In fact, when she’d kissed him on the set Friday, thoughts of her weekend with Sean filled her head. “It’s kind of like when you take a patient’s blood pressure. It’s just another part of the job.”

  “I’ve worked at the hospital for ten years and never had a patient look like Mark Walden,” Sydney said. “My God, you’d think they were ten years old.” On the grass George did some kind of dance move in the end zone, then spiked the ball into the ground.

  “You married him.” Mia laughed and elbowed her cousin in the side.

  Sydney sighed dramatically. “Don’t remind me,” she said before smiling. “What about you? Do you think he’s the one?”

  Mia bit down on her lip and considered the question. Was he the one? She didn’t know. What she felt for him was unlike anything she’d experienced in previous relationships. Did that mean he was the one? “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  Before leaving town that afternoon, Mia drove by the house she grew up in, which her cousin Sydney now owned, and then headed for the highway. In the passenger seat, Sean remained quiet. The carefree guy who played football with her family was gone. In fact the closer they got to the city, the more withdrawn he became. By the time they took the exit off the highway, he’d clammed up altogether, his mouth set in a severe frown and his eyes locked on the road. Without even asking, she knew what occupied his thoughts, and more than anything she wished she could help.

  “Can you stay for a little while?” She slid her room key into the slot and pushed open the door.

  Sean focused his eyes on her and she caught a glimpse of indecision. Then he pulled her close, kissing her as he pushed the door closed behind them.

  The calluses on his palms scratched her skin as his hands disappeared under her shirt and rubbed her back. Grabbing at the back of his shirt, she pulled it free from his waistband and ran her hands underneath. Slowly, she trailed her hand up and down his warm flesh as Sean’s kiss became more intense. When his tongue slipped inside and touched hers, the low burning flame inside her ignited. Not in the mood to take things slowly, she pulled back, grabbed the bottom of her shirt, and yanked it over her head. Before the top hit the floor she’d unclasped her bra and tossed it away, too. She stood there as his eyes made a slow inspection. As they traveled from her face, down to her breasts, and across her stomach they left a trail of heat behind.

  She grabbed at the front of his shirt and tugged it up. “This has to go.” Her voice came out so bre
athless, she almost didn’t recognize it.

  Without breaking eye contact he grabbed the fabric from her hands and pulled it off. Eager to have her skin against his, she moved closer, prepared to wrap her arms around him again.

  “Not yet.” He placed a hand on her waist to keep her away. “There’s something I need to do first,” he said as he lowered his head.

  Before she registered his intent, he wrapped his lips around her nipple and sucked. Pure pleasure radiated outward, setting every part of her body on fire. As he continued to tease, she leaned against the wall afraid her legs would give out.

  “Sean,” she said as a moan when he gave the other nipple its fair share.

  Threading her fingers into his short hair, she opened her eyes and looked down at him. The sight of him suckling her sent some wild animalistic desire straight to her core and she ached to have him inside her. Reaching between their bodies she stripped off her shorts and underwear before reaching for his jeans. Once she had them pushed down, she wrapped one hand around him and rubbed the soft skin while her other hand settled on his butt and urged him closer.

  “No more teasing,” she ordered, as she continued to run a hand up and down the flesh in her hand.

  Stopping his assault on her breast, he switched to her mouth as he picked her up. On cue she wrapped her legs around his waist and in one smooth motion he slid inside.

  Sean swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. “I need to go, it’s almost ten o’clock.”

  “I wish you could stay tonight.” She watched him pull his jeans on as she sat up. “But I need to be in makeup at three.” That ungodly hour would be there in no time.

  Sean leaned down and kissed her. “I’ve got work at home anyway.”

  She climbed out of bed and walked to the chest of drawers. “I’m stuck in the city all week, but I should be free all weekend unless the schedule changes.” Mia pulled on an old T-shirt, the well-worn cotton soft against her skin. “You can stay here again, or I can come up to North Salem and stay with you.”

  Dragging a hand through his hair, Sean met her gaze. “We can figure it out later.”

  Something about his voice caused a seed of uncertainty to take root in her stomach. “Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  Not even ten minutes after he left, Mia climbed back into bed. The alarm would be waking her soon, yet even knowing that, she stared at the ceiling. Her cousin’s question played over and over in her head. Was he the one? How long did you need to know someone before you knew? Her cousin, Sydney, dated her husband for eight years before they got engaged, and then their engagement lasted another two years before they walked down the aisle. True, they were a rare case, but still, logic told her it was too soon to know if Sean was the one. Her heart said other things. Being with Sean just felt right, pure and simple. And the idea of not seeing him again once she left Boston made her chest physically ache.

  Mia sighed and rolled onto her side. She’d never been in love before, but this was how she imagined it. She hoped he shared her feelings. So far he’d shown that he cared for her and desired her, but nothing pointed to definite love. Then again, Sean wasn’t the type to put his feelings on display, unless it involved his father. He did have a difficult time hiding his dislike for the man. Not that she blamed him, considering their past.

  She pushed away thoughts of Sean’s dad. Whatever happened between him and his father was between them.

  Maybe there was a different way to learn the extent of Sean’s feelings. Perhaps he dropped hints in the way he acted or spoke. From now on she’d need to pay closer attention to the minute details, just in case. With that last thought, she closed her eyes and shut out the world.