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Page 35

 

  “Do we have to?”

  “I think they’re waiting for us. ”

  Dinner was served on a long table at the side of the hall. Understandably, Havoc hadn’t wanted to spend time in the kitchen, so most of the food had been pre-prepared and was served cold—several kinds of salads, finger sandwiches, fresh fruit, cheese plates. It didn’t seem like a typical formal dinner, but we weren’t going to complain. As I looked up and down the table, I hadn’t ever seen this many Maxfield students looking this happy.

  After dessert was served, Curtis stood and shouted for everyone to be quiet.

  He raised his drink. We were all drinking soda, which was a luxury. “I’d like to propose a toast,” he said, as the group quieted. I glanced at Isaiah, halfway down the table. Not surprisingly, he looked suspicious.

  “To Havoc for this awesome dinner,” Curtis began. After a moment of astonishment, cheers erupted up and down the table.

  “To the Society, for handling the administration of all this,” he continued. I had no idea what he meant, and I don’t think anyone else really did either, but people cheered. Maybe it was the best compliment he could give them—something vague.

  “And to Carrie,” he said. There were cheers and laughs, and Skiver made a gagging noise.

  Mouse stood up, raising her cup. Her dance attire was somewhere in between a dress and lingerie. I definitely hadn’t seen it in the catalog—she must have made it. “And to the V’s for the decorations. ” More applause.

  Jane was on her feet before I knew it. “And to Lily Paterson. ”

  The table exploded, many standing and cheering, and others booing and yelling. I stood and put my arm around Jane’s waist and joined her in the toast. It was too chaotic now for anyone to drink in unison—many in the Society section had put their cups down—but Jane and I clinked our glasses. A few moments later, the relative calm of the dinner lost, the table was pushed back to the side of the hall and the music resumed.

  I was helping shift chairs in the crowd when someone touched my arm. I turned to see Becky. She was wearing a floor-length black dress, her hair curled and twisted like springs.

  “Hey, Becky,” I said, as I continued to move the chairs.

  “Hi, Bense. ” She took my arm to stop me.

  I looked back at her, waiting for her to say something, but she seemed reluctant.

  “What’s up?” I said, having to shout a little to be heard over the music.

  She leaned in. “I just wanted to say that I agree with you and Jane. Some people think that Lily deserved it, but I don’t. ”

  I looked into her eyes and she stared back.

  She stammered. “I—I just wanted you to know. ”

  Before I could reply, she’d turned and left, pushing her way through the crowd.

  I watched her for a moment. She’d been a V, Mason had said. She’d helped start the V’s. And now she was so . . . broken. Lonely. I felt a sudden ache—I wanted to go after her and say something. I wanted to hug her.

  I’d find her tomorrow. It could wait until we weren’t surrounded by other students. I couldn’t imagine that the Society liked seeing me talk to her.

  I finished helping with the chairs, then hurried back across the dance floor to where Jane stood, laughing with two of the V girls. When she saw me, she excused herself.

  “Hey,” she said, taking my hand. “Want to go for a walk?” She motioned toward the door.

  “Won’t you be cold?” I asked, looking at her bare arms and neck.

  “You’ll have to put your arm around me. ”

  “How could I say no?”

  We stepped out the patio door and were met with a cool breeze. I slipped my arm around her and pulled her tight against me.

  “Hang on,” she said, bending down. A moment later she stood back up, her shoes in her hand. “I hate these things. ”

  “But they look so good,” I said with a laugh.

  “I’ll give them to you and you can look at them anytime you want. ”

  The moon was out and we could see the dim traces of the track, the forest, and the groundskeeping sheds. A few other couples were out on the lawn, strolling and talking. A deer stood out beyond the track, cautiously watching us.

  “What would you do if you got out?” she asked. We were walking close to the building—I hoped it would keep some of the breeze off her.

  I was about to answer but she stopped me. “I know what you’re going to say, and that’s not the answer I want. Skip all the stuff about calling the police and freeing everyone from the school. After that. ”

  “I haven’t really thought that far ahead,” I said with a smile.

  “What about a job?”

  “I told you. I’m going to be a field surveyor. ”

  Jane laughed. “For real. ”

  “I honestly don’t know. I’ve always thought I’d like to own my own business, be my own boss. But I don’t know what I’d do. ”

  We turned the corner toward the front of the school.

  “I think I’d like to be a doctor,” Jane said.

  “What kind?”

  “No idea. ”

  We walked in silence for a little while, and she had me move my arm from her waist to her shoulders, to keep her warm. I offered my sweater, but she said she didn’t want to cover her dress.

  I formed a question in my head, and tried to think of different ways to ask it. I know you hate it when I bring this up. . . . Let me just ask one thing and then I’ll shut up. . . . I’m only asking because I really like you. . . .

  What if we ran away?

  But I couldn’t force myself to say it. At that moment, it just didn’t feel right. I didn’t want to think about climbing walls and cutting razor wire and starting forest fires. Even if Jane was totally willing. It was dangerous. Lily had died.

  If we followed the rules, no one would die. Jane and I could walk like this all the time, every day. Of course, eventually someone would have to do something. But I could worry about that later. For now, things were good.

  She turned toward the building and led me to the wall, to a small alcove between a short manicured pine and a window well. I felt my blood pressure surge as she turned to face me. She slipped her arms around my neck, just as she had on the dance floor.

  Her green eyes were locked on mine.

  “Thanks for asking me to the dance. ” Her voice was barely above a whisper, her lips curling up in a tiny, uncertain smile.

  “Thanks for saying yes. ”

  I could feel her breath on my face.

  “I’m glad you came to Maxfield,” she said.

  My heart was thumping in my chest. She smelled so good, like fresh roses. “Me too. ”

  She leaned toward me, and I wrapped my arms tighter around her back.

  Her lips were cool and soft, and every other thought disappeared from my head. There was only Jane.

  I didn’t let go, didn’t want to ever let go. I didn’t want to go back to normal life.

  Why couldn’t this be normal life?

  She pulled back. She was beaming, her eyes sparkling in the starlight.

  We stared at each other for a moment. The scent of her perfume still hung on my lips, and I wanted to kiss her again. But I could see from her smile that she wanted to say something.