Silent Victims
Silent Victims
Bullying. NO WAY!
The memories may fade with time but the scars will remain forever.
Author: Trish Wesley
Copyright 2014 Trish Wesley
The camp fire, surrounded by a small gathering of people, provided a bright circle of light as flames flickered into the darkness of the night. Five, four, three, two, one loud voices sang in unison ‘Happy New Year’. Cheers, hugs and kisses united the small family group. Sarah, twelve years old, retired to her tent in the early hours of a brand New Year. She lay in her sleeping bag and listened to the happy sounds of song and laughter filling the cool air.
Sarah reflected upon the past and prayed for the chance to live a happy and fulfilled life free from torment. She allowed her mind to transport her back to a time where there was no laughter, a time where fear rose with her each morning and with all her heart she wished that this time in her life would never again return to haunt her. The time had come, she believed, to lay her periodic nightmares of intimidation and terror to rest.
‘Loser! Loser! Here comes the black loser,’ they chanted. Surrounded, Sarah panicked. Unable to move or run away from her tormentors, she froze. The so-called popular group consisted of seven girls. Two of them had been her friends last term. For some reason unknown to Sarah, they had turned their backs on her and joined forces with the 'popular group.’ She had been the focus of constant bullying by the group over the past year.
Sarah turned the corner, deep in thought about her afternoon lessons. She heard the chanting and looked up to see the group walking toward her. How stupid of me. I should have been watching. What an idiot! I've walked straight into them she thought scared stiff of what may happen this time.
The popular group formed a circle around her and proceeded to shove her from person to person. Other students watched while some simply walked away. Terrified, Sarah noticed a gap in the circle. She took a deep breath and ran. She ran until she reached the girls’ toilets, rushed into a cubicle, locked the door and collapsed in a frightened heap on to the toilet seat. She sobbed uncontrollably.
A gentle knock roused her and her heart began to race. She held her breath for what seemed an eternity. A voice spoke softly through the door. ‘Are you all right? Please open the door, Sarah. I'll walk with you to your classroom.’ Hesitantly, Sarah opened the door a fraction and breathed a sigh of relief. Her friend Julie patiently waited. Julie, considered a loner, loser and freak also suffered torment and intimidation by the popular group.
Sarah checked to ensure they were alone, washed her face and told her friend how scared she felt. Julie advised Sarah to report the incident to her teacher. Sarah said she would think about it and told Julie how once before she had found the courage to report an episode. The bullying had actually increased and the group became clever at confronting her only when teachers were not in sight. Two of the popular group were in her class. Sarah, on one occasion, asked the girls why they picked on her. They shrugged their shoulders and turned their backs. Sarah realised their courage was only evident when they were all together.
Sarah had beautiful golden skin and long, black lustrous hair. Not only was she attractive, her academic achievements were exceptional. A reserved young girl in year seven, soon to celebrate her thirteenth birthday, she excelled in maths, music, literacy and sport.
Her parents worked long hours. Their goal was to save enough money to enable their clever daughter the best educational opportunities possible. Sarah often wished her mum could be there when she arrived home from school. Today she needed to cry in her mother’s arms. She wanted to tell her how sad she felt and how every day at school she struggled to hold herself together.
The teacher dismissed the class for the day, unaware of Sarah's bullying episode. Sarah rushed out of the classroom, grabbed her school bag and ran out the school gate. On numerous occasions she had been harassed walking home. Once she remembered being shoved with such force she landed on her bottom in a garden bed. The popular group laughed and pointed to her as other students passed by. Not one person stopped to offer assistance. Humiliated, Sarah sat on the ground and waited until the group became bored. After what seemed an eternity they walked away, laughing loudly and screaming obscenities at her. Cautiously Sarah looked up and down the street, the bullies were nowhere to be seen, she grabbed her school bag and ran...
She ran home, unlocked the front door, slammed it shut then turned the lock. She opened her school bag to put her lunch container and drink bottle into the dishwasher. A piece of paper fluttered to the floor. She picked up the note thinking it might be from Julie. They often studied together and had made arrangements to meet over the weekend and work together to complete their school assignments.
The note, hastily scribbled and unsigned, said 'Go kill yourself. Nobody likes you.’ The blood rushed to Sarah’s face, she dropped the paper and rushed to her bedroom. She wept in distress, convinced nothing could ever be good again in her life.
Her mother arrived home a short while later. She called to Sarah as she picked up the piece of paper from the floor. Stunned she read and re read the words unable to believe anyone could be so cruel. She found Sarah distraught and anxious, her eyes red and swollen and she refused to look at her mum. Her mother patiently waited for the right time to speak. Eventually Sarah relayed the events of the past months. She told her mum she wished she could die. How the many names the girls called her made her life miserable. Her mother assured her she was not ugly, a nerd, weirdo, fat, a bitch or a nigger.
Sarah and her mum went to the kitchen, where her mother’s computer was set up. She felt relieved that Sarah didn't have access to Face-book and other Web sites. At least cyber bullying was not an issue.
Together they searched the Internet regarding school bullying. They learned an estimated 200 million children around the world are currently being bullied. Australian primary schools rate among the highest. Bullying is the fourth most common reason children 15 years and under seek assistance from help services. Seven child suicides in 2012-13 are likely to have been caused by bullying. The findings were frightening. The Australian Human Rights Commission, said bullying was endemic in Australia, which has been ranked worst in the world for social network bullying.
‘No one deserves to be bullied. Bullying is driven by a desire to exert power over others. Research results told them perceived differences may increase the risk of being bullied including: ethnicity, physical differences such as hair colour, disability, being new to an area, sexual orientation and achievements in class whether high or low.
Bullying involves an initial desire to hurt. This urge is expressed in action. A more powerful person or group directs the action. It is without justification and is typically repeated with evident enjoyment.’ Ken Rigby (1998)
Bullying is known to cause physical, psychosocial, social and personality injuries. The playground is the most common place for it to occur. The sooner treatment is sought the better. A referral can be obtained from the local doctor to see a psychologist trained in this field. They read on and were astonished with the statistics.
Sarah became anxious as Monday approached. She did not want to return to school. The note not only shocked her, it embarrassed her to think anyone could wish her dead. Her mother took Monday off work and made an appointment with the family doctor and the school principal.
The family doctor wrote a referral letter to the Child and Youth Mental Health Services. He was concerned as Sarah showed classic signs of depression. She refused to attend school and many times wished she were not on this planet anymore.
They met with the principal of the school at the prearranged time and he explained to Sarah’s mum that all schools have a 'No Bullying Policy.' He was sorry Sarah had become a tar
get and said he would deal with the situation. Sarah was told she could at any time come and sit in the office where it could be her safe area. He gave her a print out suggesting ways she to help her manage the situation herself.
The printout advised the following: Use a strong and confident voice. Tell them you don't like what they're doing. Even if you don't feel strong and confident, fake it. If you feel too scared to face the bullies alone, ask a friend to be with you. If possible, ignore the person bullying you. When ignored kids who bully often lose interest. If that doesn't work, tell someone and ask for help. Hang around people who make you feel good. Friends don't bully you. Sarah cried as she read the information. How is this going to help? It doesn't work. I know because I've already tried most of it. It's hopeless.
After six visits to a child psychologist,