What a Boy Wants

Page 24

  Author: Nyrae Dawn

  Before I knew it, I was two stories up and outside her bedroom window. My first instinct was to open the dumb thing and jump inside. The faster I could get in, the safer I would be, but decided I better knock because, knowing my luck, she’d be in there getting dressed or with Mattie or something. The last thing I needed was to get in a fight with her boyfriend after sneaking in her bedroom or look like I was trying to get an eyeful.

  Before I could chicken out, I held on tight with my right hand and knocked on her window with my left. I counted to five, and knocked again. Yeah, I knew I wasn’t being very patient, but I was the one hanging two stories in the air here.

  The curtains slid open and green eyes met mine. My heart immediately starting pounding away. And then she slid the window open and walked away. “Here goes nothing,” I whispered to myself before pulling my way inside. “Hey. ” Totally lame, Bastian.

  “Hey. ” She sat on the edge of her bed, wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top.

  I gave the room the once over to make sure her door was shut. It was. “So yeah. I finally climbed through your window. ”

  She nodded, picking at her finger nail. “I saw your blog. ”

  My heart raced and I was scared to death, but I came here to do something and no matter what happened, I’d see through to my side of it. “My mom told me to go with the big, grand gesture. I wracked my mind trying to think of something perfect to do, but I just couldn’t come up with anything. All that stuff…it’s not really you. You’re real and I wanted to do something that was real. Not really for show, you know? Something simple that I knew would mean something to you. So, yeah, hence the window. I hope it’s okay. ”

  For the first time since I came into her room, she looked at me. I mean, really looked at me and those zaps and sparks went off beneath my skin. But still, she didn’t speak.

  “I never meant for things to turn out the way they did, Woodstock. That weekend at the beach? It was perfect and then Mom called and told me her and Roger broke up and it scared the shit out of me. I’m not going to pretend that’s an excuse, because it’s not. I should have trusted you. Trusted us and not assumed we’d end up like them, but I did and I’m sorry. The last thing I ever wanted to do is walk away from you, but I’m human and I screwed up. Big time. I tried to tell myself I was protecting you, but I was really protecting me. ”

  I stepped closer to her, but stopped. I didn’t want to push things. “Not very noble of me, I know. You had the ability to pulverize me and so I bailed and it was wrong. And Crystal?” I ran a hand through my hair and sighed in frustration. “That was a big screw up, but I swear to you, there was nothing going on with us. She’s in love with some other guy and we were talking and ended up at the mall together and then I saw you with Mattie, and I knew what my mom felt like all those times she’d had her heart broken. It was dumb, but I just reacted and grabbed her hand, but I wanted it to be you. It felt wrong touching someone else like that, Woodstock. ”

  I took a couple breaths, giving her the time to speak. Willing her to say something, but she didn’t so I kept going. This time, I didn’t hold myself back. I walked up to her and kneeled on the ground between her legs. “I know I’m probably too late. That you’re with Mattie and if he makes you happy, I want that for you, but I had to tell you, I love you. Being the Hook-up Doctor, I thought I knew everything. I was wrong. I prided myself on knowing what I wanted, when I never really did. Now I know what I want. It’s you. Only you. Even if you don’t really want me that way and I’m too late, I need to know you forgive me, Woodstock. You’re my best friend. ” I didn’t stop there. I wasn’t going to hold anything back from her.

  “But I gotta say. I really freakin’ hope you love me, too. Oh, and if you do, I’d love it if you gave me permission to kick Mattie’s ass. I think that would help me heal. ” With that one, I got the response I wanted. Her lips stretched into a smirk. It wasn’t a real smile, but it was a start.

  I risked a slap across the face to raise my hand and cup her cheek. “More than anything else, I just want you. ”

  “Did you kiss her?” she whispered.

  “Hell no. These lips belong to you. ”

  She smiled again. Reaching up, she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t either. Kiss Matt, I mean. I was hurt and I used him to try and get over it. See, I can’t really be mad at you about the whole Crystal thing, because I did the same thing with Matt. I mean, it wasn’t like I really set out to make you jealous, but I used him to get over you. ”

  Thump. Thump. Thump. I could hardly hear her over the blood pulsing in my ears. “Did you? Get over me?”

  Aspen chuckled. “Sebastian, I’ve loved you since we were five years old and you downed the whole glass of soy milk, pretending to like it just so you didn’t hurt my feelings. ”

  I’m not afraid to admit it, I pretty much saw stars at that moment. She loved me and nothing was taking that away from me.

  “After a while, I never thought you would feel the same. You were always going for girls like Alex the tramp, so I pretty much gave up. I really did contact The Hook-up Doctor to help me get with Matt. I figured if you didn’t need me, I’d find a way not to need you. But then things got weird. When you took care of me at the party, and the night in my room. My brain started to get all fuzzy and I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I was scared to hope you were starting to feel the same, but it was also like things shifted for us, ya know?”

  Ah, so that’s what the second thoughts thing in her messages had been about. Silently, I thanked God. I rubbed my thumb over her cheek. I’d forgotten how soft her skin was. “Yeah, I know. That’s how I felt when I realized I was falling for you, too. Like things shifted. ”

  “I invited Matt over yesterday. ” My hand stilled. Please let this go my way. “I admitted to him that I was in love with you. It didn’t feel right and I wanted to call it off. ” Exhale breath. “He was okay with it and admitted he was seeing someone else anyway. Guess you were right about him. Wasn’t like I could be mad, since it made my skin crawl when he tried to hold my hand. We hugged and agreed to go our separate ways. ”

  That’s what the hug had been! I couldn’t help it. I laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” Aspen asked.

  “I’ve been driving myself crazy. I saw you guys. I used my ninja skills I’m always telling you about and kind of spied on you. From my porch. While I laid on my stomach, peeking through the railing. ” Wow, that sounded even lamer out loud than it felt when I’d done it.

  Aspen laughed, too. One of her hands came up and ran through my hair, the way only she could. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “Hmmm. ” I smiled. “Forgive me? Love me? Kiss me?”

  “Are you sure you want to? I mean, my parents are considering the move to a hippie commune. I’m not sure they’ll let me date you since you don’t live in an energy efficient house. Maybe after my dad hypnotizes you during meditation, he’ll change his mind. ”

  I dropped my head back and rubbed a hand over my face. “Mattie told you about that, huh?

  “Yeah… You’re a trip, Bastian. How did you come up with that?” She smiled.

  “No clue. I just knew I’d do anything to keep him away from you. It made me sick to my stomach to think of him and you together. ”

  Aspen stroked my hair again. “Ugh, are you trying to pull some of your moves on me?” Her words were playful.

  “Depends. Is it working?”

  Aspen licked her lips and I could have sworn I felt it. “I don’t know. You’re The Hook-up Doctor. Aren’t you supposed to be, like, all knowing?”

  “I don’t know anything except that I love you. Oh, and that I want to be your boyfriend and I’m still kind of holding out that you’ll let me beat up Mattie. ”

  “I love you, too. Yes and no. ”

  “I can handle two out of three. ” Then I leaned forw
ard and pressed my lips to hers and it felt as good as I thought I would. Our lips moved together perfectly. A perfect match. Because we had skills like that.

  Epilogue

  I slid my finger in the collar of my shirt and tugged. “I feel like a friggin’ idiot. ” I groaned. “Seriously, this shit is choking me. Want to go upstairs with me and help me out of my shirt?” Smirking, I looked down at Aspen, tucked against my side. She rolled her eyes, obviously not thinking my little stripping idea was as good as I did.

  “Bastian! It’s your mom’s engagement party. ” She licked her lips and I couldn’t help but lean forward and press a kiss to them.

  “Yeah, her engagement party. Not mine. Why do I have to get all dressed up too?” I’d vetoed the whole suit thing, but somehow got roped into slacks and a white, button-up dress shirt. If I had to wear this for the party, I knew there was no way I could get out of a tux for the wedding.

  Aspen slid out from under my arm to stand in front of me. She wrapped her arms around my waist. “Hmm, well I think you look pretty hot. ”

  “Don’t I always look hot?” I linked my hands together behind her neck. She was wearing a really sexy skirt. It hung right above her knees, not showing too much skin, but enough to drive me wild. Aspen always drove me wild. In more ways than one. In the month since we’d gotten together, I’d realized just how much work relationships could be, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. She was my girl and I loved her.

  “You’re so conceited. ” She chuckled.

  “Yeah, but you love me anyway. Feel free to tell me how sexy I am any time though. A guy can never hear it enough—ouch! You pinched me. ”

  “I didn’t say sexy, I said hot. ”

  “But you think I’m sexy too. I know it. ” Leaning forward I pressed another kiss to her lips. “I know I think you are. ”

  She rolled her eyes and I laughed.

  A slow song started to play and I pulled away from the wall, bringing Aspen with me. “Dance with me?”

  She nodded her head. Our arms switched places, hers weaving around my neck and mine wrapped around her waist as we started to sway to the music. I heard a loud, familiar laugh and looked over to see Roger dipping my mom.

  “She’s so happy, Bastian. I’ve never seen her like this. ” Aspen gave me a squeeze before leaning her head against my chest.

  “Yeah, she is, huh?” I smiled at Mom even though she wasn’t looking my way. It felt so damn good to see her so happy. The weight I’d carried in my chest for so long was gone now. “You know, I’ll never admit it, but I actually like Roger. He’s a good guy and I really think he loves her. Of course, I still have my eye on him. If he breaks her heart I’ll break his nose, but,” I shrugged, “everything just kind of feels like it’s going to be okay now, ya know?”

  Aspen pulled far enough of way to look me in the eyes. “You have such a big heart, Sebastian Dale Hawkins. ”

  “Shh, don’t tell anyone that either. ”

  “Your secrets are safe with me. ”

  I buried my face in her hair, to hide from the seriously mushy words that were about to come out of my mouth. “And your heart is safe with me. ”

  We were quiet for a few more minutes, just holding each other and dancing. Suddenly, Aspen was talking again, her voice low and hurt. “She loves him, you know. ”

  I was a little confused. Hadn’t we already talked about Mom loving Roger? “What?”

  She tilted her head to the side and I saw Pris standing in the corner. It had been a bumpy ride between her and Jaden for the past month. She was my one failed hook-up and it still killed me. Especially after seeing her face when it had been me to show up at the diner and not Jaden. I never would have gone that route if I would have known how she felt. They were always civil to each other, but things were different now. There was always this kind of tension around us. “I know. Makes me feel like shit. ”