Broken and Screwed

about what happened to her. I only knew because my cousin told me and it was her friend who mentioned it to her. She knew I was close with you, but please tell me that I’m exaggerating. I come over twice a week and you’re always alone.”

I jerked a stiff shoulder up. What lie would sound normal here? And then I was disgusted at myself. “Just leave it alone, Ang. Okay? I don’t want to talk about my parents right now.”

“But—”

“I mean it,” I interrupted her. I shouldn’t have to cover for my parents or lie that they hadn’t ditched me. That wasn’t my lie to tell, that was theirs and I had some pride not to cover for them. So what if they abandoned me? It was for the best. It had to be for the best.

“Okay.” She held her hands up in surrender. “I won’t bring ‘em up again. Promise.”

“Good.” That’s what I wanted, but why didn’t I feel good about it?

“You work tonight, right?”

I nodded.

“When do you get done?”

“I close with Ben at 9:00 tonight.”

She chewed at her lip. She was thinking again.

I sighed, “What is it?”

“I’ll come over at 9:30? Will you be ready by then?”

“What about Justin?”

“He’s got the baseball game. Some of the guys want to start as soon as they’re done, so I figure I’ll be driving tonight anyway. I’d rather take my car.”

“Or I could pick you up and you can drive his car home? You don’t have to worry about both of your cars.”

“Yeah.” She bobbed her head in an easy agreement. “That sounds like a plan. See you at 9:30. Maybe bring Ben?”

Both of us laughed at that idea. If I knew my co-worker he’d be bouncing up and down at the idea of going with us. He proved me right when I asked him at the end of our shift. He was clapping, giggling, and planning his outfit at the same time.

We got to Angie’s late because Ben made me pick him up from his house first. He wanted to ‘bond’ with the girls and he wanted a ride home that night. When Angie got in the car, his clapping and giggling happened again. He wiggled his eyebrows in the air and announced how excited he was to get drunk that night. He was hoping for a little titty twister from his ‘lush babies’. Angie and I never asked who he meant, but I had a good suspicion that I’d find out by the end of the night.

When we got to Eric’s house, I was surprised at how long it had been since my last time there. His home was a white, two-story, ranch-style home. The front patio wrapped around the house and I saw that the rooms were as big as I remembered.

Someone ran into Angie, who glared. “Excuse you.”

The person flipped her black hair over her shoulder and revealed her face. I didn’t need to see who it was. I already knew it was Marissa. Only she could wear a brown tank top with black cropped pants and look hot in it.

She’d been laughing, but that vanished immediately. Her eyes went dead and she straightened. “Excuse you.”

“No.” Angie blocked her as she started to go around. “Excuse you, bitch.”

Marissa drew back. Her jaw stiffened, her mouth flattened, and she tightened her grip on her cup. When she started to move her arm back, I hurried and got between them. I knew Marissa’s signs too; she’d been about to throw her beer on Angie. That would not have been good.

“Hi, Marissa,” I rushed out with a fake smile. “How are you?”

She paused, confused, but her arm went back to normal.

“Oh. Hey, Alex.” She was wary now, but she sipped from her cup.

I relaxed and shooed Angie away before I turned back to her. “So are you dating anyone?”

Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

I could hear Angie and Ben bickering behind me, but then Angie huffed out, “Fine!” She stormed off. Ben gave me a small smile before he bounded after her.

“Look.” I dropped the façade. “I didn’t want you and Angie to have another round.”

Her smile was bitter now. “Oh, you mean like that last eight times since Las Vegas.”

“Eight?”

Marissa snorted. “Where’ve you been, Alex? It’s a normal thing for her and me to get into it. It wouldn’t be a party if Angie and I weren’t screaming at each other. There was hair pulling at the last one.”

“Really?”

She rolled her eyes. “I thought you were getting better. What happened to you? You slipped back into the land of the dead. Are you able to graduate? Did you get all your studies done?”

“I got a full scholarship to Grant West.”

It took a second before I realized what I said. Then I gasped and my mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe that had slipped out. I hadn’t told anyone, well, I hadn’t told Angie yet.

Marissa’s eyes bulged out and she was quiet for a second. Then she whispered, “Holy shit, Alex. Really?”

I nodded, still in shock.

“Wow, that’s, wow. That’s great. Congratulations.”

I nodded again. Everything started reeling around me.

“So, you’ll be with Jesse then? Like, for real? You guys can be a couple.”

Everything fell flat again. I shrugged as I responded in a monotone, “We ended things in Las Vegas.”

“What?” she squeaked. Her hand clamped onto my arm. “Are you serious? The two of you are done?”

“Have been for awhile,” I said through gritted teeth. “You and Cord?”

“Oh.” She waved a dismissing hand in the air. “He’s been back twice. We hook up, but that’s it. I’m not stupid. Cord’s like Jesse, they’re not relationship guys. He’s told me about all the girls at their college. They have groupies there. Can you believe that?”

I nodded. I really could.

“Yeah, I guess you’d know, huh?” She sipped her beer and gave me a shy smile. “I got into Kellan College.”

“Oh. Congratulations.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Yeah, me and Sarah. We’re going to be roommates.”

“Oh.” Pain speared through me. She had replaced Angie and me so quickly. “That’s good for you then.”

She nodded, biting her lip now.

“Isn’t it?”

All the happiness, all the excitement left her. Sadness flooded her next and she heaved a deep sigh. “Are you okay, Alex?” She edged closer to me and gripped her cup tighter. “I know things didn’t go right between me and Angie, but I never stopped caring about you as a friend. I know Angie’s your best friend. She’s always been closer to you than me, but I’m just worried. Are you okay?”

Oh no. We’d taken a nosedive into the emotional and not-things-I-talked-about. I shook my head and started to back away.

“Alex.” She hurried after me.

“No, stop.” My insides twisted around each other. I needed to get away from her. I couldn’t hear anything more from her. She’d left me. I couldn’t handle taking her back.

“Alex.”

“Stop.” I turned and darted through the crowd. Angie and Ben were in the kitchen. I knew they’d be getting drinks, so I turned down a far hallway and ran into someone. A hard chest hit me and I stumbled back, but before I hit the wall, an arm snaked around my waist holding me in place.

“Hey, Alex.” Eric set me on my feet and bent so he was eye level with me. He gentled his voice. “You okay? You look upset.”

“Everyone is so damn worried about me,” I snapped out.

He straightened abruptly. His blonde hair was gelled at the tips; it gave him a wet/bedroom look. It seemed to make his blue eyes all the more smoldering and I could see why so many girls fancied him. With a loose white tee shirt over ripped jeans, Eric could’ve been a model.

And holy hell. When did I start noticing him in that way?

I cursed under my breath before I squared my shoulders back. “I’m sorry, Eric.”

“Hey, no problem.” He lifted his cup in front of him and raised his eyebrows. “I’m just here, drinking, hanging out at my place. Have you been here before? Wait, you must’ve.”

“Your seventh grade birthday party.”

His cheeks reddened and he made a point to drink from his cup. Then he coughed. “Yeah, that’s not embarrassing. We did our ‘seven minutes in heaven’ thing, didn’t we?”

I couldn’t stop a chuckle at that memory. We had been shoved inside, but it’d been the longest and shortest seven minutes of heaven in my life. “You kissed me on the cheek.”

“I did?” A wide smile appeared. “I was aiming for your lips. I was trying to be aloof and mysterious. Did it work?”

I shrugged, but my stomach fluttered as I remembered the feel of his cool lips. I’d been so excited. I had pulled Angie into the closest bathroom and squealed about my first kiss on the cheek. “I had a crush on you back then.”

His eyebrows shot up again. “You did?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I did. You were a big deal.”

Then he chuckled as he had more of his beer. “I can’t imagine I was that big of a deal.”

“You were the most popular guy in our grade.” Still was.

“Yeah.” He quieted, gave me an awkward look, and reached up to scratch the back of his head. “Maybe. No one could compete with your brother and Jesse.”

“They were a grade older.”

“I know, but I knew that all the girls liked those two. You included.”

A rush of heat went to my cheeks and I knew I was blushing too. Then I admitted, “I had the biggest crush on Jesse, all my life.”

“Yeah, you guys were close.” He frowned. “Didn’t he live with you guys at one point?”

I nodded. “Yeah, from eighth grade to the end of his junior year. His mom died and he moved in. His dad was always away.”

“I remember seeing him at your place all the time.”

My eyebrows lifted.

He hung his head slightly. He confessed, “Justin, me, and Troy rode our bikes past your house all the time. Troy and me had big crushes on you. Justin always wanted to see if Angie was over at your place.”

Warmth flared inside of me again. It was the good kind; it’d been too long since I remembered my past like this. It felt right. “Yeah, that’s right. Those two were always fighting and picking on each other.”

“Now look at them.”

“Yeah, I know. The first couple to get married, I bet.”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Probably.” And then the mood shifted.

I grew tense, but the ends of his mouth dipped down. He looked tired all the sudden and he let out a breath of air. “Have you been okay, Alex? I know it might not be my place, you know, since the last time we really talked I ripped into you, but I still care about you. Are you okay?”

I held my breath and nodded. My throat had gone dry and there were butterflies in my stomach. I hadn’t felt like this since, well, since Jesse. Then I gulped again. My throat was so dry. I needed something to drink. I grabbed his cup from him and finished the rest of it. Then I shoved it back into his hand. He hadn’t moved.

“Oookay.”

I flushed. “I was thirsty.”

“Oh. Well, stay here. I’ll get some more beer for us.”

Panic took over and I grabbed his arm when he started to go. “Don’t leave.” I stopped, surprised at the fear in my voice. My hand fell away, but I couldn’t keep quiet. “Don’t leave. You’ll go. Someone else will come. I’ll feel weird. This is nice, right now. You and me. This is nice.”

“Okay.” He said it gently as he touched the back of my elbow. “We can go to my parents’ back patio and talk. No one should be out there. I’ll have someone get us something to drink. Actually, I think my dad has a liquor cabinet in his closet.” He gave me a sheepish look. “We’re not supposed to know about it since they don’t want us to drink, but we always did.”

“Of course.” I relaxed then and my knees were weak from the relief.

“Okay. Through here.” He guided me into a back master bedroom. “Hold on.”

I waited in the darkness as he moved away. Clothes hangers were pushed aside, he cursed, and then there was a loud thud on the floor.

“Eric?”

“I’m okay,” his voice came out muffled. “My mom’s got so many damn clothes. I can’t find the light switch in this stupid closet. Oh, here it is.”

Light flooded the room then and I blinked from the sudden brightness. But then as my eyes adjusted, I saw a king-sized bed with cream bedcovers. There was a desk area with a coach behind it and three shelves from floor to ceiling filled with books. A bathroom was in the corner and I could see marble on the counter top. The floor was made of cream mosaic tiles. When Eric emerged from another doorway, he lifted his hands as he wiggled his eyebrows. He had two bottles of Boones Farm.

“Huh? This is the good stuff.”

I burst out laughing.

“Or I could mix us some drinks. My dad’s got everything back here.”

I struggled to stop laughing as I asked, “Why does your dad have a liquor cabinet in the closet?”

“Oh.” His grin turned into a fond one and he shrugged. “My folks don’t drink, but my dad likes to have one every now and then. My mom would only allow it back here. She’s pretty strict with her religion. Sounds stupid, I guess, but that’s my folks. Sometimes I think this is their little haven away from us kids.”

“Yeah, it could be a little studio apartment.”

He gestured towards the desk area where a laptop was placed and a flat screen television was hanging on the wall behind it. “She likes to do her work over there. Dad will kick his feet up and watch television some nights when he wants to be around here.”

“Your parents sound like they have a good marriage.”

“They do.” Then he nodded towards a back door. As he held it open and I slipped past him, he added, “I think they designed their room like this on purpose. All of us kids get free reign of the house then, on most nights.”

“You have two little sisters?” I frowned as we sat on padded lounge chairs. I should’ve known how many siblings he had. I’d grown up with him.

Eric placed the two bottles on the glass table in front of us and stood back up. “Yeah, two little dorks and I have two more brothers. Isaiah is two years younger than me and Noah is four. I think he was an ‘oops,’ but he’s so darn cute. No one can resist him. He’s going to get the ladies when he’s older.”

I shot forward when he reached for the door again. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to mix us a few drinks. These things were a joke, but feel free to open one up if you’d like. Be right back.”

When he came back, he slid a glass towards me and I took it for a sniff. I couldn’t get a whiff of any liquor so I took a sip of it. It was mostly soda, but he had put a small amount of alcohol in there. “Thanks.”

And I felt grateful to him for another reason, a deeper reason, but one that I couldn’t explain. The ball of tension that was always in my stomach unraveled a little bit. It loosened up, and as it did, the rest of me started to relax more and more. Before I took another sip, I knew I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment. This was just fine with me.

He tried to look casual, but I saw the delight on his face. He lounged back, kicked up his feet on the table, and threw an arm on the back of my chair. He raised his glass to me in a salute. “Here’s to us being friends again.”

“I’ll cheer to that.”

As our glasses clinked and our gazes locked, a tingle went through me. It’d been a long time since I had felt one of those, since my Thanksgiving break.