Broken and Screwed

“Hey.” Someone cleared their throat behind me and I turned around. The smile died and the laughter faded away. Cord Tatum stood at the end of our aisle in a black leather bomber jacket and custom-fitted jeans. He had jet-black hair with the ends sticking straight up and dark brown eyes to match.

Even before I thought about it, I knew this guy was Marissa’s counterpart. She had met her match with him. That was when I tried to remember what he had been like in school two years ago. He graduated the day Ethan died, but I knew he went to Grant West and was on the same team as Jesse. Two basketball stars from the same school was a big thing around our town.

“Marissa told me I could sit with you.” He held his hand out. “I’m Cord. I don’t know if you remember me or not.”

Ethan had worshiped the guy. Now I felt foolish. How could I have not remembered him?

“Hi. Alex Connors.”

I shook his hand. It was firm and steady. He squeezed my hand before he lifted a hand in a wave to Ben. “Hi, I’m Cord.”

“Ben.” His voice came out as a squeak. He seemed mortified and squeaked again as he huddled beside me.

As Cord sat beside me, he pulled out some leather gloves and slipped them on. He shuddered in his jacket. “Man, its cold out here. It’s a little bit warmer at Grant West, by ten degrees at least. I forget how much that makes a difference.” He laughed a little. “I haven’t been back home since last Christmas. I think my mom had a heart attack when I walked through the door. All her biscuits went on the floor. One’s stuck to the ceiling.”

He talked to me as if we were best friends. Was he like this with everyone or had Marissa spoken so much about me he felt like he knew me? My tongue felt heavy as I asked, “So how did you and Marissa get together?”

“Through Jesse.” He grinned and caught my gaze. His eyes were so warm.

My heart stopped. Through Jesse?

“Really?” My throat felt constricted now. “How did that happen?”

He laughed again and hunched his shoulders forward for warmth. “She kept calling the house one night. Jesse was tired of it so he told me to talk to her.”

“She was calling him?”

He nodded and gave me another good-natured grin. “Yep. I told her off. She told me off right back and then I started to take her calls when she would call.” He laughed again. “Man, I can’t believe how many girls throw themselves at Jesse. He’s a big deal around here, huh?”

“You could say that.”

My heart sank at his words. Marissa had still chased him. When I felt tears coming to my eyes, I stood up. “Excuse me. I’m going to get something to drink.”

“Alex, get me one too!” Ben hollered, but I hurried down the bleachers and through the crowd. More and more people stood between me and some fresh air. I needed that air. I needed that freedom. Everything was suffocating me.

As I slipped around a building, I heaved in deep breaths. No one else was there. Thankful for the privacy, I pressed my forehead against the building and took more breaths.

How could she do that? Didn’t she remember?

Betrayal, longing, and hurt settled over me.

How was I going to last the night? Oh god. Was I going to say anything to Angie about it?

“Alex?”

I stiffened. Eric had the worst timing.

He came further around the side of the building, a frown on his face. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I tried to smile as I wiped the tears away. “I’m fine. What are you doing?”

His frown doubled. “I saw you leave the stands and thought something was wrong. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” My best friend stabbed me in the back. “Really.” Then I noticed the tuxedo under his jacket. “You look really handsome.”

“Oh.” He shrugged. “Yeah. Not as beautiful as you’ll be tonight; or that you already are. You already are beautiful. You’re always beautiful, actually. Even in school, and I’m going to stop talking.” He gave me a sheepish look. “You sure you’re okay? You can talk to me, you know. You can talk to me about anything.”

I held my breath and blinked back more tears. He seemed like such a nice guy and I was crying about another guy. What was wrong with me?

“You’re a really nice guy,” I sighed.

His smile slipped a little. “Ah, the words of death.”

“What?”

He looked down at the ground and sighed. “No guy wants to be the nice guy. Nice guys finish last.”

My heart broke again. What was I doing? Here was a great guy and I was waiting for another one who broke me every time. I gave Jesse my virginity and look what I had for it? Nothing. He was away. I was here. He couldn’t even bring himself to call me, while Eric was proclaiming how beautiful I was to him.

I was such an idiot.

I reached out before I knew what I was doing. When my hand touched his, his head whipped up and his eyes went wide. Then he grasped my hand tight and pulled me close. His arms lifted and he hugged me. That was it, nothing more. I let out a surrendering breath and let myself enjoy what he was offering. Nothing. He was offering a hug.

It’d been a long time since I’d only been held. It felt needed.

I hugged him back.

Eric hugged me tighter to him, but then he stepped back and ran a hand through his hair. “Uh, I don’t really know how to say this, so I guess I’m just going to say it.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, here it goes.” His eyes found me. They were piercing. “I want to be more than friends, Alex. I really like you. I’ve really liked you for awhile, but you seemed so lost last year. I, uh, would you consider going on a real date with me? Tonight doesn’t have to be it, just some other night.”

I stood there. I had no thoughts.

He kicked at the ground and pushed his hands in his jacket’s pockets. Then he glanced around. “You can think about it. You don’t have to answer right now. We could go bowling or eat or go see a movie or whatever.” His shoulders lifted up and down again. “Let me know, you know?”

“I will.”

“Really?”

“I’ll let you know.”

“Oh.”

Someone yelled his name and he gave me resigned look. “I guess that’s my call. Are you coming to watch the Court? Your friends look real nice too.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

“Okay.” He jerked forward and pressed his lips against my forehead in a hurried kiss. “Sorry. I—sorry. Okay. See you later.”

He waved again before he disappeared around the building and I was left alone once more. I was such a moron. Then I took a deep breath. I stopped thinking. I stopped feeling. As I went back to the game, I knew everything would sort itself out.

It had to.





CHAPTER SEVEN



Angie collapsed in a chair beside me and groaned. She bent forward to knead her calves. “My feet and calves are so damn stiff from these heels. Tell me how much I love Justin.”

“You love Justin so much that you’re wearing that ridiculous dress for him.”

She grunted and leaned back. “Yeah, and a part of me thinks he chose this dress to make me squirm. I swear, he’s paid more attention to Marissa’s black little bitty than this poof of his dream. Ugh. Boys drive me crazy.”

I suppressed my instant frown. I hadn’t told her about Marissa and I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to in the end. She’d get mad. She’d probably throw a drink on her and then my two best friends would be at odds again. I had no idea what to do.

What Marissa did had hurt me, but I didn’t know the whole story. She might’ve been calling him about me. Cord could’ve gotten it all wrong, so I had made the decision to ask Marissa on my own, and not at the dance. Tonight was their night for fun. All of them seemed to be having fun, even Ben who gyrated and bobbed around on the dance floor with Cord and Marissa.

“I still want to know how the hell she got Cord to come back for a dance. I didn’t even think she knew him.” She narrowed her eyes as she nursed her drink. “Do you know?”

I froze.

“You do know.”

I refused to look over. I couldn’t meet her eyes. She’d see there was something wrong.

“Alex.” Angie scooted her chair closer. “Come on, tell me. I know you know. You do this weird statue thing when you’ve been caught at something. Just tell me. I won’t say anything. Is it dirty? Did they do the deed when he was a senior? That’s it, isn’t it? I knew Marissa had slept with more guys than just Gavin that year, but nooo, she swears she was only with him that year.” She snorted and slapped a hand on the table. “She’s such a little slut.”

I held my breath and counted to twenty. I had to because I wanted to spill. It took every ounce of my control to keep my lips shut. I owed Marissa the respect to give herself a fair hearing, and I owed myself to find out if my best friend had really gone behind my back for some guy.

Angie chuckled and finished her drink. “And I mean that in a good way. Only that girl could get three guys wrapped around her finger at one dance.”

“Yeah.” I sighed and then looked at my lap. Everything was burning inside of me to tell Angie, but I couldn’t. I had to stop with this debate.

“Hey, so, how’s it going with Eric tonight? He seems nice.”

A different tension filled me and I froze again.

“Uh oh.” Angie put her glass down and scooted next to me. Her leg pressed against mine. “Tell me whatever it is. I’m your best friend. It’s a sin for you not to tell me, so spill the beans, woman.”

The words spilled from my lips. “He asked me out. He said he likes me more than friends and he wants to go out on a date with me.” Then I stopped. I almost went into my dilemma about Jesse, but I hadn’t spoken about him for almost three months. It was fair if they had forgotten about him, but then I felt a pang of conscience. Was that what happened with Marissa? Had she forgotten what he was to me?

“Oooh!” Angie squealed. “Are you going to go out with him? You have to. He’s such a nice guy. Come on, Alex!”

“I don’t know.”

“You have to. Trust me, if you don’t he’s going to be scooped up by someone else. Eric is really popular. There are a lot of girls who would kill to be in your shoes. What’s the hang up?”

I hesitated. She wouldn’t like hearing what I had to say.

Then she sighed in disgust and scooted away. “Oh, my god. Really? Do not say Jesse’s name. Please do not say his name.”

I shrugged.

“OH! Alex!” She hit herself in the forehead with her hand. “I can’t believe you. I’m not saying this to be mean, but he’s long gone. He’s at Grant West. He is in a different lifestyle now. He’s hanging out with the Hollywood crowd now. I watch television, too.”

I smoothed out my dress and tried not to squirm under her intense gaze. I didn’t believe for one second that Jesse was hanging out with the Hollywood crowd. I believed that he went as a favor to his dad, but I also believed that he hadn’t gone since. Jesse hated his dad. That wasn’t known by anyone else except my family and his, but Angie said some truth. He was long gone. What made me think he’d come back for me?

So I sighed and I sat there. And I asked myself why I hadn’t jumped at the chance to date Eric Nathan. He was normal. He was here and he thought I was beautiful.

“Heya!” Marissa chirped as she and Cord took their seats across from us at the table. Ben dropped in his and grabbed some napkins to wipe his forehead. His panting had turned into wheezing. “Where’s Eric?’

Cord tapped her shoulder and pointed across the gym.

“Why is he talking to Casey Wright?”

Angie tapped my leg. “See.”

“See what?” Marissa looked between us. Her eyes were lit with anticipation. “What see? Fill me in.”

I was about to tell her that it was nothing, but Angie rushed out, “Nathan asked her out.”

Marissa gasped. She clapped her hands to her cheeks and squealed in her seat. “Oh, my god. That’s so exciting. Alex, say something. Aren’t you happy about that?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

“You’re not excited about that?” She watched me closely and frowned. “Are you waiting for…?”

I saw that she was hesitant to say his name so I rushed forward with my own question. “Have you talked to him recently?”

She froze.

“What are you girls talking about?” Cord frowned. He had lounged back with his arm thrown over Marissa’s chair. He pulled his tuxedo collar out now and exchanged a look with Ben.

“Nothing,” Marissa said quickly.

Angie frowned at her.

“So have you talked to him recently?”

“Why would she have talked to him? He’s your—”

“Yes.” She shoved back her chair and stood up. Her hands held onto the table. “I called him after he left. I have no excuse for that.”

I shoved my chair back as well. My heart was starting to pick up its pace and my cheeks were warm. “What did you promise him? What were you after? Were you going to drive there if he said yes?”

Angie’s eyes had widened and she was white in the face. She stood with us, but held onto her drink with a death grip.

“Alex, I’m sorry—”

“Sorry for what? What’d you do?” I needed her to say it. I needed to hear the words.

“For…” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “For—what do you want me to say?”

“The truth.” It ripped out of me.

She gulped. The blood drained from her face. As she started to sway on her feet, Cord jumped up and caught her elbow. “Hey, whoa. Hey. You okay?” He frowned at us and then shook his head. “I think maybe we should call it a night. There’s stuff going on between you three, but I don’t think it’s worth Marissa getting sick.”

Angie snorted. Her hand found her hip and she stuck it out.

Marissa swayed more unsteadily on her feet. She was still holding onto the table and her knuckles had grown white.

“Okay.” Cord shot us another dark look, but drew her against him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and then draped his coat around her shoulders. “Let’s head home, huh?”

She nodded, but clung to him.

Angie glared after them. She threw back the rest of her punch and then ground up her cup into pieces. When they fell from her hand, she growled in disgust. “I can’t believe her. Really, I can’t believe her. She knew about you and him. Hell, she knew before when she was trying to go at him. Is she mentally screwed up or what? Is it her ego? Does she really have to conquer every guy out there?”

Justin came up to the table at that moment. He took one look at Angie and spun around on his heel.

She snorted after him. “That’s probably for the best. I’d unleash my anger on him and that’s all sorts of wrong.” She sighed and looked at me. “Are you okay?”

My shoulders bounced up in a careless shrug. “Whatever. I’ll deal.” But that wasn’t the truth. The truth was that it stung, a lot. Tears threatened to fall, and I swallowed a lump down my throat. I couldn’t dwell on it. That would make me think of what she’d done and inevitably that would make me think of Jesse. I was really trying to stop thinking about him.

“Hey.” Eric approached with a frown and two glasses in his hands. He handed one to me. “Justin said something was wrong.”

Angie gave him a ‘duh’ look. “And I bet he warned you to stay away.”

Eric stiffened. His eyes skirted from her to me and he gave us a sheepish look. “Uh, yeah, but I didn’t. Was that not the right thing to do?”

“No.” Angie’s hands found her hips and she turned to scan the room. “You’re doing the right thing. Where’s my boyfriend? I’ve got something different to unleash on him.”