He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
Chapter 18
“I’m going to kill you.” Aria says hugging me hard not letting me go.
“You're so dramatic. Calm down.”
“What if you have gotten into a car crash? Huh? What then?!”
“Please don’t think that. I’m fine, sheesh. I just had lunch with Lucas, that’s all.” I say and I feel Lucas behind me and I know Aria is eyeing him hard. Aria gives death stares to all guys when they flirt with me or check me out. Aria might look nice, but she is very deadly. I am too. But sometimes, I feel like Aria is the deadliest when it comes to guys.
“I’m sorry for making her late, Aria.” I hear Lucas’ voice, which makes my heart skip. He’s apologizing to her. I have never ever seen a guy do that to Aria. Even for me!
“Lucas, you really don’t have to do that.” I say letting go of Aria and turning around so I can face him.
“No, I do. I am so sorry Aria. If anything, it’s Mia’s fault.” He says grinning at me. What. The. Hell!? How is it my fault. He started the kiss. But then I see him laughing and I know it’s a joke. If he wants to play this game, then he’s going to get it.
“Oh yeah, sorry Aria it was so my fault. I mean it all started with Lucas peeing his pants when he was riding the carousel. It scared the hell out of him so we had to go to the dry cleaners and they had to wash his pants. It was my idea for him to wash his pants so it’s my fault we were late.” Oh yeah, I’m on fire. I look behind at Aria and see her laughing. She’s putting her hands at her stomach and laughing so hard. I see some people looking at us, confused. Yeah, we’re crazy, keep walking.
“Ok, ok. I don’t want to know anymore. You’re off the hook Mia. Just don’t do that again. Oh god! I gotta to go class, see you later Mia.” She says, walking away from me and waving at us. I turn around and see Lucas coming closer to me. He bends down to my ear and whispers in this sexy voice.
“Ok, one point you, me zero. But I am so going to get you at the party Mia.” He says, then walks away from me to go to his class. The way he walks looks so graceful. He looks confident for some reason, and it’s somehow making me nervous about what he’s going to do at the party. I laugh and turn around to walk to my class. I touch my lips with my fingers making me shiver. He kissed me. I somehow don’t want to wash my lips, but this is just stupid. I didn’t feel this way with Jackson. Why wouldn’t I don’t want to wash my lips? I must be the most confusing girl in the entire world.
I open the door to my classroom and I know I’m late. Ms. Willow looks at me with an angry face but I don’t give a shit. I walk to my chair and I know Jackson’s looking at me across the room. Jackson is in almost all my classes but I don’t care. Lucas kissed me, and that’s all what I’m focusing now.
I don’t even pay attention during class until the bell rings. I race out the door until I hear Ms. Willow calling my name. Crap!
“Mia, can I talk to you for a second.” I turn around to see her leaning back on her desk waiting for me to walk over to her. I take out my phone and text Aria that I’m going to be late for a bit and then I put it back in my back pocket. I sigh and walk over to her.
“Yeah?” Ugh. No kid wants to talk to their teacher. Ever.
“Is there something wrong, Mia?”
“What do you mean?” Now I’m kind of scared. I don’t do anything wrong. I have always been a good girl. Except with kissing a guy, I’m good. I don’t do drugs, I do all my homework and don’t swear. Most of the time.
“You haven’t gotten back talking to me about what you're going to do with the speech writing competition.” Oh shit. I forgot about that. I love English a lot and so I wanted to do something special for the speech writings competition that we have at our school. My speech was about life and how it changes our life, and shit. Mine was the best one, so Ms. Willow picked me to go to the competition. It’s not mandatory but I really don’t want to do it. She gave me a week and I still haven’t gotten back to her. This week has been so busy with Jackson and then Lucas and that I have forgotten all about it. I haven’t even told my own mother. Only Aria.
If I participate in the competition and win, and can get into a good university with full scholarship. It is a good idea, but I can’t do it. It’s too much pressure. Hell, it was even more pressure for me to present it in front of my own classmates, let alone thousands of people.
“I uh.” I say not knowing what to say. I look down seeing my leg nervously tapping the floor. I must look so nervous. Although of course, I kind of am.
“Mia, this is a great opportunity. Why won’t you take it?” She said in a nice tone. I hate this. I don’t want to do this, but there’s a little piece in my brain saying I should do this or I’m going to regret it.
“Can I get back to you?” The only words that come out of my mouth. I’m about to break down if she says no. I hear something in the hallway that makes me turn around. It’s Lucas. I see him looking surprised that I hear him and that I turned around while a teacher talking to me about something important. I turn around and see Ms. Willow’s face in sadness. She hopes that I say yes to this competition. I guess this means a lot to her too. Maybe so that she knows that at least one kid in her class is smart and talented. I know she sees in my eyes that I want to leave, so she accepts it.
“Ok...But Mia.”
“Yeah?” I say, almost out of the door. My heart has stopped and I see Lucas looking at me with a worry.
“Please get back to me in a week. I really want you to join the competition and win the scholarship, and it really is an amazing opportunity.” She says smiling at me.
“Yeah. I will.” I say, knowing that I probably won’t. I get out of the classroom, not even waiting for Lucas. I’m about to hit something. I hear Lucas’ shoes running towards me, trying to catch up or make me slow down. I don’t see Aria waiting for me, which makes me mad. I check my phone and realize that she texted me.
Aria: Sorry for leaving you but I want you to spend your time with Lucas. Also, I have a dentist appointment. Forgot to tell you. Sorry! Have fun with him! Don’t get too touchy with him or I’m going to kill both of you! Love ya! ;)
What the hell! This makes me mad, but not at her. At myself. Why did I do such a good speech? I mean, of course I got picked! I did it about life. Everyone’s was just stupid and idiotic. Mine was the best somehow, and so Ms. Willow picked me. I finally get outside almost smashing the doors when I open them. They make a big noise and I hope someone doesn’t hear it but what do I care? I don’t have a car, which makes me mad so I just lean back on the brick wall of the school and slide down on the cold pavement. I wrap my arms around my body and just look down. My hair is blocking my face, which makes me happy that I can’t see Lucas.
I know Lucas is coming closer to me and I hear him sitting down next to me. He sighs loudly and plays with his keys. I somehow feel like Aria told Lucas to take me home or to spend time with me. I don’t want to talk to him, but somehow, I want him to talk to me. I just want to see the expression on his face and so I turn around to see his face. He was looking at me. He comes closer and puts his fingers on my cheek and takes the hair out of my eyes.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He says coming closer to me and I go to him and put my arms around him. I hug him hard and he just rubs my back. Damn it feels good.
“N-not now. But m-maybe later when I feel like it.” I say in a stuttering voice. He sees how hard this is for me so he doesn’t push me.
“I’ll wait for you. Don’t forget about that. I won’t push you to tell me everything. I’ll wait for you until you're ready to tell me. Until now, I’m here for you Mia. I won’t let you go.” He says which makes me want to cry. How is it that a guy that I just met today fell in love with me in only two hours and now is telling me that he’ll never let me go.
“Can we go somewhere?” I say letting go to look at his face. I really want to go somewhere and just forget about the stupid competition. I stand up which Lucas does to, at the
same time and grabs my hand. My hand feels so nice in his and I keep forgetting that I’m throwing a party today. Ugh.
“Where do you want to go?” He asks. I stop thinking about the party and I start thinking about where to go. I honestly don’t know where to go which only leaves one thing.
“Can we go to the mall?” I say and his eyebrows go up. I know that he thinks I’m going to try on something and he’s going to have to zip it up, but it’s nothing like that at all. I hate the mall, but I have a good reason on why I go there sometimes.
“I didn’t really take you as a mall type of girl.”
“I’m not. It’s just there’s something I always do when I’m at the mall. It keeps me entertained.” I say, while walking to his car. His arm is on my back, which makes me feel warm. It’s nice how sweet he is, but there has to be a little bit of asshole in him. I mean there was in Jackson. There has to be in every guy. Isn’t there?
“Thanks.” I say as he opens the door for me and I go in. He closes it and it kind of makes me special. How he opens the door for me and closes it as soon as I get in. I put my hair in a messy bun because it’s so freaking hot. It’s really hot, about thirty degrees Celsius! I’m glad I’m wearing a short sleeve shirt and shorts. The back of my hair is sweaty and it’s sticking up my neck.
I put a little bit of makeup just to look nice before Lucas starts to drive. I know he’s checking me out, but I don’t look at him. I just try to keep a straight face, which is really hard to do. How does Aria do that when Michael talks to her? I mean how does she do it? Every day is a lie, and she keeps on living it. He’s her partner which she sees every freaking day. I mean I got over Jackson because of Lucas, and I’m ok now. Kind of…
“So, ready to experience what I do at the mall? I think you're going to like it.” I say winking at him. He just chuckles in a deep voice. SO HOT.
“I think so? I mean I hope it’s nothing stupid or something.”
“You don’t know.” I say looking out the window. I know he must be scared but it’s just making me want to laugh. Aria always thinks what I do at the mall is stupid. She hates it. But when I bribe her with something sugary, I own her. I’m mostly the only one doing it since I made the game up. Some people might call me stupid, but I call myself special. I’m not boring, that’s is a good thing! I told Aria that if I became boring to chop my head off and throw it in a bottomless pit. I am not boring. Most of the time. We didn’t really say anything during the drive to the mall. What would we say? He kissed me, I kissed him back, and now I’m telling him to take me to the mall because I have a surprise. Who wouldn’t call this awkward?
I look out the window and daydream. It's amazing how when you daydream it seems to make you sleepy. But I'm not sleeping. I feel the car stopping which makes me almost fall out of my seat. He needs to know how to drive, or else I’m going to be in a car crash.
“Ok, we’re here. Anything you need to tell me before we head in so I don’t have to look like an idiot?” He says which makes me roll my eyes. I know this makes him scared, but he should be. I am scary.
“Eh, not really. Just do what I say ok? Or else you lose.”
“I lose?”
“Oh yeah.” I say and wink at him. I open the door and feel the hotness riding throughout my whole skin. Somehow it feels good. I then feel Lucas’ body next to me and then I feel his hand grabbing mine. I freeze for a second, then think about it. I mean we are together, right? I mean he did kiss me, and take me out for lunch. It was kind of like a date, for a second until I got mad and ran out of the restaurant. Whatever. I need to see how much I can trust him before we get to serious. I just take a deep breath and walk to the mall. The mall feels cool as I enter it. My whole body shivers, but it’s a good shiver. The only warm spot is my hand since Lucas is holding it. I know he’s looking at me since I kind of didn’t tell him why we are here.
“So, can you please tell me what we are doing?”
“Ok, fine. The only reason I go to the mall is because… I like doing… dares.” I say and his face lights up. I love dares. I sometimes call myself a daredevil. Dares are fun. Aria hates coming to the mall with me. The only reason she comes because I mostly bribe her with sugary treats, which makes her a little bit happy. But I’m mostly the only person who does the dares. Aria only does truths, which she sucks at since she knows nothing about herself.
“You're kidding.”
“Um no. why? You think girls can't do dares?” I say sounding a little bit with an attitude. I just put that aside and smile at him. I am the best at dares. Like the best. I don’t get scared or worried when I do dares. I don’t give a shit if I humiliate myself in front of a hot guy, which did happen once. But everyone knows it's a dare. That’s why the guy laughed, and why he gave me his phone number. I blush, remembering that time. The time where I thought a life would never break you. But I guess I was wrong.
“No, I did not say that. I’m just saying that I will so beat you.” He says grinning at me with full dimples. Dimples. The whole package. Damn it.
“Ok, game on.” I say letting go of his hand and putting it out so he can shake it. He does, and he winks at me. I decided to add one other thing to make this interesting.
“Oh, and one other thing. Whoever doesn’t do a dare loses and has to buy the other person a drink, their choice, and as much as they want.” I say and his eyes light up.
“You’re on!” He says shaking my hand harder which is making it hurt. I just grin and put on a serious face. I am so winning. I want a drink. I need this win to show him I’m not a girl who lets guys win. I am a girl who will kick ass! I let go of his hand quickly trying to see what to pick for his dare. I finally find something that makes me grin like the Grinch. I know Lucas sees it because he lets out a big deep breath. He’s nervous, and boy, am I liking this. I see a microphone sticking on a stand with a group of girls nearby. I know they are so going to like this. They must be selling something because I see a big poster for a product. I think it’s ice cream? Whatever, he is so going to do this dare.
“I dare you to go over there and pick up that microphone, and say that you're looking for your mommy.” I say grinning at him and I turn around to see his face. His mouth is opened wide and he’s rubbing his hands over his face. I know, I’m mean. But I don’t give a shit. He wanted a good dare, he got one.
“Well? Are you going to do it or what? If you don’t I guess I win!”
“Oh no, I am so doing it. Take a picture if you want.” He says walking over to the stand talking to those girls then grabbing the microphone from the stand. Is he going to do it? Oh hell no. Now since he’s going to do it, he’s going to pick something worse for me. I see him waving at me, which makes me embarrassed yet happy. He starts tapping the microphone which makes a horrible sound.
“One, two, three. Ok, hi everyone. I’m looking for my mommy. Has anyone seen my mommy?!” He says whimpering which makes me laugh so hard. Everyone laughs at him, which makes him wink at me. I make a little wave at him which makes me blush. I really don’t want to think about this, or say this. But I think I’m in love. Ugh. Saying that makes me sick to my stomach, but I do. Does he like me as much as I like him? Or does he just like the idea of me, like Jackson? I mean we just kissed. It’s not like we got married, but somehow this kiss meant something more. He says something to the girls then walks away from them.
“So, did I win?” He says coming close to me putting his arm over my shoulder.
“Um, no. You won this round, but now you gotta give me a dare now.” I say winking at him. I’m kind of nervous for once. I mean what dare would he give me? I have done stupid dares before, so I’m not scared if it’s something stupid or humiliating. But if it’s like taking my shirt and swinging it around in the middle of the mall, screaming at the top of my lungs like an idiot, no. Count me out. He gives me an evil grin that makes me nervous. Why did I ever tell him about this?
“Ok. Hm. What to do, what to do.” He
says looking around tapping his finger on his chin. He kind of looks cute doing it.
“Oh! I know. I dare you to go to that guy right there, and ask him what size underwear he is.”
“You're not serious. Dude it’s easy. And for once I got scared.” I say rolling my eyes. This is easy. I’ve done worse than this. Count me in.
“Ok, then do it.” He says pointing me to go. I will go. I will be the best damn person he will ever see asking him about his underwear size. Ask I walk up I see that this guy is hot. Supreme hot. Like hot. I turn around and mouth out to Lucas that he’s hot. Lucas’ eyes just roll and he groans. I hope this makes him regret doing this. I try to make my hair messy by letting it down, and fluffing it. I then to make Lucas jealous put my shirt up a little bit and then tie it at the back with my hair tie. Now I must look like a slut. My hair is down and in a hot messy hairstyle, and my belly button shows. I’m fit so I have a toned body just like Aria’s. I look behind to see Lucas’ expression and it makes me feel hot. He’s rubbing his temple and running his fingers through his hair. His eyes light up and he mouths “Now I’m angry” at me. It makes me feel good and bubbly in the inside. I feel like I deserve a good pat on the back but since this is no time for stupidity, I go over to the hot jock guy and try to ask him the stupid question. He sees me coming and his eyes light up. Of course. It’s somehow different when he does it. When he does it just shows that he finds me hot, but when Lucas’ eyes light up it shows how much he wants me.
I push that thought away and try to hope he doesn’t have a girlfriend coming back to him or something.
“Hi.” I say putting my hand through my hair to make myself look hotter. I must look like a hooker in the mall. Well, at least my bucket list is getting somewhere.
“Sup, I’m Matt.” He says putting his fingers through his hair and winking at me. Ugh boys. It’s hard to believe that I’m in love with one. The hot guy, I mean Matt is checking me over. Not fast though. Very slowly. Like he wants me to see him checking me. I feel flattered but also very disgusted on how guys are. I mean, when Lucas does it, he makes sure I don’t see him. I do, but at least he doesn’t do it slowly. I feel like a prize or a painting being watched over and over by a thousand eyes.
“I’m Mia. So, I was wondering… What size are you?” I say which makes him grin wide.
“For what?” Hoping he doesn’t think about condoms or any other dirty thing he has in mind. I just put on a fake smile and continue to do this. I need to win. I want to win.
“Your underwear, silly!” I say, running my hand through my hair. His eyes light up and I hear Lucas’ cough in the background. I know this is making him jealous. I can feel it. I kind of want to brag how hot this guy is to Lucas. This guy is almost the same size as Lucas, but Lucas is taller. Lucas has dirty brown hair, whereas this guy has dirty blond hair. Lucas has the most beautiful green emerald eyes, and this guy's eyes are just plain blue. Lucas is much more attractive than this guy.
“You want to know my underwear size?” He says which makes me think if he’s deaf or something. Dude, just tell me your underwear size!
“Yup. Problem?”
“Um. no.” He says smiling at me. “My underwear size is a medium.” He says moving his eyebrows. I give him a quick laugh then touching his shoulder. I know this is making Lucas mad, and it’s making me feel awesome. I want to see how much he likes me, even though it’s the first day for him, and somehow, he’s already kissed a girl. Me. I then hear footsteps and for some reason the guy’s face turns pale. He takes a step back from me and I know why. I see Lucas walking up to the guy, which makes the guy almost trip backing up.
“Lucas!” I say trying to stop him. Damn he’s mad! He turns his head back to me and I give him a confused expression. He then gives a nasty laugh at the guy and walks away from him pass me. The guy’s face is full of shock but he understands when I tell him the whole thing. I tell him I'm sorry, then go try to find Lucas. I pull my shirt back down of course and run to find him. I can’t find him anywhere until I see him across from me sitting down in a chair in a store. I walk slowly to him thinking on what I’m going to say. But why would I? He’s the one who’s going to apologize not me! He’s the one who made me do this dare. And it’s not like we’re together. We just kissed. Everyone kisses.
I come closer to him and sit down to the chair next to him. His hands are in his lap and he’s looking at the ground. His hair is in his eyes making him more hot than usual. I take a deep breath and continue to look at him waiting for him to say something.
“I’m sorry.” He says and my heart is filled with relief but also anger.
“What the hell Lucas?”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was thinking.” He says still looking at the floor. Why won’t he just look at me?!
“Um yeah, you sure didn’t. You could’ve hit him Lucas. You could’ve gotten in trouble.” I say my voice breaking down. I care about him. And I know he cares about me.
“Not that. I don’t give a shit about hitting him Mia.”
“Then what?”
“I didn’t know what I was thinking giving you that stupid dare in the first place.” He says and my heart just stops. He then looks up at me and I see the pain in his eyes. Rough pain. He seems like he has no emotion, but his eyes show a lot of it.
“Then why did you do it?” I say getting closer to him so I can understand why he’s so freaking mad.
“I don’t know why I did it, Mia. Ok. I don’t know why I did it.” He says in a whisper. He leans back into the seat and takes a deep breath, putting his fingers through his hair. If he weren’t so damn cute right now, I wouldn’t be that mad at him or confused.
“Ok, well can you at least give me one reason? Just one? Well, because you scared that poor guy away.” “Did you find him attractive?” He says looking at me with pain in his eyes. It’s such a weird question that I honestly don’t know what to say. I mean yeah, that guy was really hot, but should I say that? Why is he even asking me this?
“Why are you even asking me that?” I say with a confused look. I look straight into his eyes to try to see his emotion. His eyes are changed in colour. They aren’t green anymore. They are like grayish with a little bit of green in them. He looks like he’s seen a nightmare or something. Is he jealous or what? I mean, most guys only get jealous for a second, but Lucas is taking this very hard. It’s kind of making me want to sit on his lap and kiss him everywhere until he forgets everything.
“Because of the way you looked at him when you approached him. You also told me that he’s hot, Mia. I can’t compete with that. I’ll never compete with that.” He says, standing up and walking away from me. I’m frozen. I can’t move, blink or breathe. I’ve never felt like this before. He just left me, just like that. And for what? Because he has feelings for me. Huh, I guess a kiss does change everything. Lucas is walking fast but it’s not too late to change this.
I chase after him, calling his name. I feel like everyone is watching us and thinking how stupid we look. But I am not stopping. I need to tell him how I feel before I mess this up again and Aria kills me. I see Lucas is still not stopping and so I walk faster, almost running like an idiot. He then stops, which makes me confused. I walk over him and put my hand on his shoulder. He turns around and looks at me. I bite my lower lip and feel very nervous on what I’m going to say, but I don’t say anything. All I do is what I do best. I kiss him. Hard. In the middle of the mall like an idiot, but I don’t care. I love him, and I know he loves me.