When Life Gives You Lululemons

  “I’m excited to see Miles,” Emily announced as they walked into Miriam’s mudroom.

  Miriam turned to look at her. “I’m glad to hear that,” she said slowly.

  “No, really. I am. It’s been nearly a month.”

  “Well, we’re going to miss you around here. It’s been great having you—we’ve loved it and so have the kids.”

  As if on cue, Maisie came bounding down from upstairs. “Mommy! Daddy said Aunt Emily is leaving today!” she shrieked, a look of panic on her small, rounded face.

  “I am, lovey. It’s time for me to go back to Los Angeles.” Emily held her arms open and Maisie ran into them. While she wasn’t particularly enamored with Ben or Matthew—even when they were clean, they seemed kind of gross, with constantly runny noses and dirt under their fingernails, not to mention their exhaustive nonstop motion—Maisie had really grown on her. The little girl was drawn to Emily, always showing up in her room and asking if she could try on her heels or help put on her makeup. One evening Emily had applied some blush and lip gloss and a bit of eye shadow on Maisie, and she thought the child might faint from excitement. Naturally Miriam had sent her daughter back upstairs to wash her face, and Emily had muttered something not particularly nice about being the mom where fun goes to die, but from that moment on, Maisie had remained steadfastly devoted.

  “Why do you have to go back?” Maisie whined.

  Emily opened her mouth to answer and was surprised that nothing immediately came to her. She was looking forward to seeing Miles, but he was only going to be home for a few days before heading back to Hong Kong. And her job? Well, that was a shit show. With Kim Kelly and Rizzo Benz now gone with Olivia Belle, all she was left with were a few reality-TV stars she could manage in her sleep. So long as she scored them designer labels to wear for free and made a few half-assed phone calls on their behalf to the tabloids, they were happy. Emily needed to step up her game if she wanted to stay relevant.

  “It’s time” was all she could come up with. She’d been avoiding her voicemail and had told Kyle to tell everyone that Emily was on a silent meditation retreat. With a famous monk. In a faraway country.

  “Are you sure?” Kyle had asked, her doubt coming across loud and clear.

  Emily had paused just long enough to make the girl squirm. “Am I sure? Are you asking if I know what I’m doing? Celebrities eat that crap up, especially if it makes me seem hard to get. You’ll get the word out right away, do you understand?”

  Kyle quickly agreed, but Emily had to