Martin Chuzzlewit

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  IN WHICH MISS PECKSNIFF MAKES LOVE, MR JONAS MAKES WRATH, MRS GAMP MAKESTEA, AND MR CHUFFEY MAKES BUSINESS

  On the next day's official duties coming to a close, Tom hurried homewithout losing any time by the way; and after dinner and a short restsallied out again, accompanied by Ruth, to pay his projected visitto Todgers's. Tom took Ruth with him, not only because it was a greatpleasure to him to have her for his companion whenever he could, butbecause he wished her to cherish and comfort poor Merry; which she, forher own part (having heard the wretched history of that young wife fromTom), was all eagerness to do.

  'She was so glad to see me,' said Tom, 'that I am sure she will beglad to see you. Your sympathy is certain to be much more delicate andacceptable than mine.'

  'I am very far from being certain of that, Tom,' she replied; 'andindeed you do yourself an injustice. Indeed you do. But I hope she maylike me, Tom.'

  'Oh, she is sure to do that!' cried Tom, confidently.

  'What a number of friends I should have, if everybody was of your way ofthinking. Shouldn't I, Tom, dear?' said his little sister pinching himupon the cheek.

  Tom laughed, and said that with reference to this particular case he hadno doubt at all of finding a disciple in Merry. 'For you women,' saidTom, 'you women, my dear, are so kind, and in your kindness have suchnice perception; you know so well how to be affectionate and full ofsolicitude without appearing to be; your gentleness of feeling is likeyour touch so light and easy, that the one enables you to deal withwounds of the mind as tenderly as the other enables you to deal withwounds of the body. You are such--'

  'My goodness, Tom!' his sister interposed. 'You ought to fall in loveimmediately.'

  Tom put this observation off good humouredly, but somewhat gravely too;and they were soon very chatty again on some other subject.

  As they were passing through a street in the City, not very far from MrsTodgers's place of residence, Ruth checked Tom before the window ofa large Upholstery and Furniture Warehouse, to call his attention tosomething very magnificent and ingenious, displayed there to the bestadvantage, for the admiration and temptation of the public. Tom hadhazarded some most erroneous and extravagantly wrong guess in relationto the price of this article, and had joined his sister in laughingheartily at his mistake, when he pressed her arm in his, and pointed totwo persons at a little distance, who were looking in at the same windowwith a deep interest in the chests of drawers and tables.

  'Hush!' Tom whispered. 'Miss Pecksniff, and the young gentleman to whomshe is going to be married.'

  'Why does he look as if he was going to be buried, Tom?' inquired hislittle sister.

  'Why, he is naturally a dismal young gentleman, I believe,' said Tom'but he is very civil and inoffensive.'

  'I suppose they are furnishing their house,' whispered Ruth.

  'Yes, I suppose they are,' replied Tom. 'We had better avoid speaking tothem.'

  They could not very well avoid looking at them, however, especiallyas some obstruction on the pavement, at a little distance, happened todetain them where they were for a few moments. Miss Pecksniff had quitethe air of having taken the unhappy Moddle captive, and brought himup to the contemplation of the furniture like a lamb to the altar.He offered no resistance, but was perfectly resigned and quiet. Themelancholy depicted in the turn of his languishing head, and in hisdejected attitude, was extreme; and though there was a full-sizedfour-post bedstead in the window, such a tear stood trembling in his eyeas seemed to blot it out.

  'Augustus, my love,' said Miss Pecksniff, 'ask the price of the eightrosewood chairs, and the loo table.'

  'Perhaps they are ordered already,' said Augustus. 'Perhaps they areAnother's.'

  'They can make more like them, if they are,' rejoined Miss Pecksniff.

  'No, no, they can't,' said Moddle. 'It's impossible!'

  He appeared, for the moment, to be quite overwhelmed and stupefied bythe prospect of his approaching happiness; but recovering, entered theshop. He returned immediately, saying in a tone of despair

  'Twenty-four pound ten!'

  Miss Pecksniff, turning to receive this announcement, became consciousof the observation of Tom Pinch and his sister.

  'Oh, really!' cried Miss Pecksniff, glancing about her, as if for someconvenient means of sinking into the earth. 'Upon my word, I--therenever was such a--to think that one should be so very--Mr AugustusModdle, Miss Pinch!'

  Miss Pecksniff was quite gracious to Miss Pinch in this triumphantintroduction; exceedingly gracious. She was more than gracious; she waskind and cordial. Whether the recollection of the old service Tom hadrendered her in knocking Mr Jonas on the head had wrought this change inher opinions; or whether her separation from her parent had reconciledher to all human-kind, or to all that interesting portion of human-kindwhich was not friendly to him; or whether the delight of having some newfemale acquaintance to whom to communicate her interesting prospects wasparamount to every other consideration; cordial and kind Miss Pecksniffwas. And twice Miss Pecksniff kissed Miss Pinch upon the cheek.

  'Augustus--Mr Pinch, you know. My dear girl!' said Miss Pecksniff,aside. 'I never was so ashamed in my life.'

  Ruth begged her not to think of it.

  'I mind your brother less than anybody else,' simpered Miss Pecksniff.'But the indelicacy of meeting any gentleman under such circumstances!Augustus, my child, did you--'

  Here Miss Pecksniff whispered in his ear. The suffering Moddle repeated:

  'Twenty-four pound ten!'

  'Oh, you silly man! I don't mean them,' said Miss Pecksniff. 'I amspeaking of the--'

  Here she whispered him again.

  'If it's the same patterned chintz as that in the window; thirty-two,twelve, six,' said Moddle, with a sigh. 'And very dear.'

  Miss Pecksniff stopped him from giving any further explanation by layingher hand upon his lips, and betraying a soft embarrassment. She thenasked Tom Pinch which way he was going.

  'I was going to see if I could find your sister,' answered Tom, 'to whomI wished to say a few words. We were going to Mrs Todgers's, where I hadthe pleasure of seeing her before.'

  'It's of no use your going on, then,' said Cherry, 'for we have notlong left there; and I know she is not at home. But I'll take you to mysister's house, if you please. Augustus--Mr Moddle, I mean--and myself,are on our way to tea there, now. You needn't think of HIM,' she added,nodding her head as she observed some hesitation on Tom's part. 'He isnot at home.'

  'Are you sure?' asked Tom.

  'Oh, I am quite sure of that. I don't want any MORE revenge,' said MissPecksniff, expressively. 'But, really, I must beg you two gentlemen towalk on, and allow me to follow with Miss Pinch. My dear, I never was sotaken by surprise!'

  In furtherance of this bashful arrangement, Moddle gave his arm to Tom;and Miss Pecksniff linked her own in Ruth's.

  'Of course, my love,' said Miss Pecksniff, 'it would be useless for meto disguise, after what you have seen, that I am about to be united tothe gentleman who is walking with your brother. It would be in vainto conceal it. What do you think of him? Pray, let me have your candidopinion.'

  Ruth intimated that, as far as she could judge, he was a very eligibleswain.

  'I am curious to know,' said Miss Pecksniff, with loquacious frankness,'whether you have observed, or fancied, in this very short space oftime, that he is of a rather melancholy turn?'

  'So very short a time,' Ruth pleaded.

  'No, no; but don't let that interfere with your answer,' returned MissPecksniff. 'I am curious to hear what you say.'

  Ruth acknowledged that he had impressed her at first sight as looking'rather low.'

  'No, really?' said Miss Pecksniff. 'Well! that is quite remarkable!Everybody says the same. Mrs Todgers says the same; and Augustus informsme that it is quite a joke among the gentlemen in the house. Indeed, butfor the positive commands I have laid upon him, I believe it would havebeen the occasion of loaded fire-arms being resorted to more t
han once.What do you think is the cause of his appearance of depression?'

  Ruth thought of several things; such as his digestion, his tailor, hismother, and the like. But hesitating to give utterance to any one ofthem, she refrained from expressing an opinion.

  'My dear,' said Miss Pecksniff; 'I shouldn't wish it to be known, but Idon't mind mentioning it to you, having known your brother for so manyyears--I refused Augustus three times. He is of a most amiable andsensitive nature, always ready to shed tears if you look at him, whichis extremely charming; and he has never recovered the effect of thatcruelty. For it WAS cruel,' said Miss Pecksniff, with a self-convictioncandour that might have adorned the diadem of her own papa. 'There isno doubt of it. I look back upon my conduct now with blushes. I alwaysliked him. I felt that he was not to me what the crowd of young men whohad made proposals had been, but something very different. Then whatright had I to refuse him three times?'

  'It was a severe trial of his fidelity, no doubt,' said Ruth.

  'My dear,' returned Miss Pecksniff. 'It was wrong. But such is thecaprice and thoughtlessness of our sex! Let me be a warning to you.Don't try the feelings of any one who makes you an offer, as I havetried the feelings of Augustus; but if you ever feel towards a personas I really felt towards him, at the very time when I was driving himto distraction, let that feeling find expression, if that person throwshimself at your feet, as Augustus Moddle did at mine. Think,' said MissPecksniff, 'what my feelings would have been, if I had goaded him tosuicide, and it had got into the papers!'

  Ruth observed that she would have been full of remorse, no doubt.

  'Remorse!' cried Miss Pecksniff, in a sort of snug and comfortablepenitence. 'What my remorse is at this moment, even after makingreparation by accepting him, it would be impossible to tell you! Lookingback upon my giddy self, my dear, now that I am sobered down andmade thoughtful, by treading on the very brink of matrimony; andcontemplating myself as I was when I was like what you are now; Ishudder. I shudder. What is the consequence of my past conduct? UntilAugustus leads me to the altar he is not sure of me. I have blighted andwithered the affections of his heart to that extent that he is not sureof me. I see that preying on his mind and feeding on his vitals. Whatare the reproaches of my conscience, when I see this in the man I love!'

  Ruth endeavoured to express some sense of her unbounded and flatteringconfidence; and presumed that she was going to be married soon.

  'Very soon indeed,' returned Miss Pecksniff. 'As soon as our house isready. We are furnishing now as fast as we can.'

  In the same vein of confidence Miss Pecksniff ran through a generalinventory of the articles that were already bought with the articlesthat remained to be purchased; what garments she intended to be marriedin, and where the ceremony was to be performed; and gave Miss Pinch, inshort (as she told her), early and exclusive information on all pointsof interest connected with the event.

  While this was going forward in the rear, Tom and Mr Moddle walked on,arm in arm, in the front, in a state of profound silence, which Tom atlast broke; after thinking for a long time what he could say that shouldrefer to an indifferent topic, in respect of which he might rely, withsome degree of certainty, on Mr Moddle's bosom being unruffled.

  'I wonder,' said Tom, 'that in these crowded streets the foot-passengersare not oftener run over.'

  Mr Moddle, with a dark look, replied:

  'The drivers won't do it.'

  'Do you mean?' Tom began--

  'That there are some men,' interrupted Moddle, with a hollow laugh, 'whocan't get run over. They live a charmed life. Coal waggons recoil fromthem, and even cabs refuse to run them down. Ah!' said Augustus, markingTom's astonishment. 'There are such men. One of 'em is a friend ofmine.'

  'Upon my word and honour,' thought Tom, 'this young gentleman is ina state of mind which is very serious indeed!' Abandoning all idea ofconversation, he did not venture to say another word, but he was carefulto keep a tight hold upon Augustus's arm, lest he should fly into theroad, and making another and a more successful attempt, should get up aprivate little Juggernaut before the eyes of his betrothed. Tom wasso afraid of his committing this rash act, that he had scarcely everexperienced such mental relief as when they arrived in safety at MrsJonas Chuzzlewit's house.

  'Walk up, pray, Mr Pinch,' said Miss Pecksniff. For Tom halted,irresolutely, at the door.

  'I am doubtful whether I should be welcome,' replied Tom, 'or, I oughtrather to say, I have no doubt about it. I will send up a message, Ithink.'

  'But what nonsense that is!' returned Miss Pecksniff, speaking apartto Tom. 'He is not at home, I am certain. I know he is not; and Merryhasn't the least idea that you ever--'

  'No,' interrupted Tom. 'Nor would I have her know it, on any account. Iam not so proud of that scuffle, I assure you.'

  'Ah, but then you are so modest, you see,' returned Miss Pecksniff, witha smile. 'But pray walk up. If you don't wish her to know it, and dowish to speak to her, pray walk up. Pray walk up, Miss Pinch. Don'tstand here.'

  Tom still hesitated for he felt that he was in an awkward position. ButCherry passing him at this juncture, and leading his sister upstairs,and the house-door being at the same time shut behind them, he followedwithout quite knowing whether it was well or ill-judged so to do.

  'Merry, my darling!' said the fair Miss Pecksniff, opening the door ofthe usual sitting-room. 'Here are Mr Pinch and his sister come to seeyou! I thought we should find you here, Mrs Todgers! How do you do, MrsGamp? And how do you do, Mr Chuffey, though it's of no use asking youthe question, I am well aware.'

  Honouring each of these parties, as she severally addressed them, withan acid smile, Miss Charity presented 'Mr Moddle.'

  'I believe you have seen HIM before,' she pleasantly observed.'Augustus, my sweet child, bring me a chair.'

  The sweet child did as he was told; and was then about to retire into acorner to mourn in secret, when Miss Charity, calling him in an audiblewhisper a 'little pet,' gave him leave to come and sit beside her. Itis to be hoped, for the general cheerfulness of mankind, that such adoleful little pet was never seen as Mr Moddle looked when he complied.So despondent was his temper, that he showed no outward thrill ofecstasy when Miss Pecksniff placed her lily hand in his, and concealedthis mark of her favour from the vulgar gaze by covering it with acorner of her shawl. Indeed, he was infinitely more rueful then thanhe had been before; and, sitting uncomfortably upright in his chair,surveyed the company with watery eyes, which seemed to say, withoutthe aid of language, 'Oh, good gracious! look here! Won't some kindChristian help me!'

  But the ecstasies of Mrs Gamp were sufficient to have furnished fortha score of young lovers; and they were chiefly awakened by the sight ofTom Pinch and his sister. Mrs Gamp was a lady of that happy temperamentwhich can be ecstatic without any other stimulating cause than a generaldesire to establish a large and profitable connection. She added dailyso many strings to her bow, that she made a perfect harp of it; and uponthat instrument she now began to perform an extemporaneous concerto.

  'Why, goodness me!' she said, 'Mrs Chuzzlewit! To think as I should seebeneath this blessed 'ouse, which well I know it, Miss Pecksniff, mysweet young lady, to be a 'ouse as there is not a many like, worse luck,and wishin' it were not so, which then this tearful walley would bechanged into a flowerin' guardian, Mr Chuffey; to think as I should seebeneath this indiwidgle roof, identically comin', Mr Pinch (I take theliberty, though almost unbeknown), and do assure you of it, sir, thesmilinest and sweetest face as ever, Mrs Chuzzlewit, I see exceptin'yourn, my dear good lady, and YOUR good lady's too, sir, Mr Moddle, ifI may make so bold as speak so plain of what is plain enough to them asneedn't look through millstones, Mrs Todgers, to find out wot is wroteupon the wall behind. Which no offence is meant, ladies and gentlemen;none bein' took, I hope. To think as I should see that smilinest andsweetest face which me and another friend of mine, took notice of amongthe packages down London Bridge, in this promiscous place, is a surprigein-deed!'

/>   Having contrived, in this happy manner, to invest every member of heraudience with an individual share and immediate personal interest inher address, Mrs Gamp dropped several curtseys to Ruth, and smilinglyshaking her head a great many times, pursued the thread of herdiscourse:

  'Now, ain't we rich in beauty this here joyful arternoon, I'm sure. Iknows a lady, which her name, I'll not deceive you, Mrs Chuzzlewit, isHarris, her husband's brother bein' six foot three, and marked witha mad bull in Wellington boots upon his left arm, on account of hisprecious mother havin' been worrited by one into a shoemaker's shop,when in a sitiwation which blessed is the man as has his quiver full ofsech, as many times I've said to Gamp when words has roge betwixt us onaccount of the expense--and often have I said to Mrs Harris, "Oh, MrsHarris, ma'am! your countenance is quite a angel's!" Which, butfor Pimples, it would be. "No, Sairey Gamp," says she, "you best ofhard-working and industrious creeturs as ever was underpaid at anyprice, which underpaid you are, quite diff'rent. Harris had it doneafore marriage at ten and six," she says, "and wore it faithful next hisheart till the colour run, when the money was declined to be give back,and no arrangement could be come to. But he never said it was a angel's,Sairey, wotever he might have thought." If Mrs Harris's husband washere now,' said Mrs Gamp, looking round, and chuckling as she droppeda general curtsey, 'he'd speak out plain, he would, and his dear wifewould be the last to blame him! For if ever a woman lived as know'd notwot it was to form a wish to pizon them as had good looks, and had noreagion give her by the best of husbands, Mrs Harris is that ev'nlydispogician!'

  With these words the worthy woman, who appeared to have dropped into take tea as a delicate little attention, rather than to have anyengagement on the premises in an official capacity, crossed to MrChuffey, who was seated in the same corner as of old, and shook him bythe shoulder.

  'Rouge yourself, and look up! Come!' said Mrs Gamp. 'Here's company, MrChuffey.'

  'I am sorry for it,' cried the old man, looking humbly round the room.'I know I'm in the way. I ask pardon, but I've nowhere else to go to.Where is she?'

  Merry went to him.

  'Ah!' said the old man, patting her on the check. 'Here she is. Here sheis! She's never hard on poor old Chuffey. Poor old Chuff!'

  As she took her seat upon a low chair by the old man's side, and putherself within the reach of his hand, she looked up once at Tom. Itwas a sad look that she cast upon him, though there was a faint smiletrembling on her face. It was a speaking look, and Tom knew what itsaid. 'You see how misery has changed me. I can feel for a dependantNOW, and set some value on his attachment.'

  'Aye, aye!' cried Chuffey in a soothing tone. 'Aye, aye, aye! Never mindhim. It's hard to hear, but never mind him. He'll die one day. Thereare three hundred and sixty-five days in the year--three hundred andsixty-six in leap year--and he may die on any one of 'em.'

  'You're a wearing old soul, and that's the sacred truth,' said Mrs Gamp,contemplating him from a little distance with anything but favour, as hecontinued to mutter to himself. 'It's a pity that you don't know wot yousay, for you'd tire your own patience out if you did, and fret yourselfinto a happy releage for all as knows you.'

  'His son,' murmured the old man, lifting up his hand. 'His son!'

  'Well, I'm sure!' said Mrs Gamp, 'you're a-settlin' of it, Mr Chuffey.To your satigefaction, sir, I hope. But I wouldn't lay a new pincushionon it myself, sir, though you ARE so well informed. Drat the oldcreetur, he's a-layin' down the law tolerable confident, too! A deal heknows of sons! or darters either! Suppose you was to favour us with someremarks on twins, sir, WOULD you be so good!'

  The bitter and indignant sarcasm which Mrs Gamp conveyed into thesetaunts was altogether lost on the unconscious Chuffey, who appeared tobe as little cognizant of their delivery as of his having given MrsGamp offence. But that high-minded woman being sensitively alive to anyinvasion of her professional province, and imagining that Mr Chuffey hadgiven utterance to some prediction on the subject of sons, which oughtto have emanated in the first instance from herself as the only lawfulauthority, or which should at least have been on no account proclaimedwithout her sanction and concurrence, was not so easily appeased. Shecontinued to sidle at Mr Chuffey with looks of sharp hostility, and todefy him with many other ironical remarks, uttered in that low keywhich commonly denotes suppressed indignation; until the entrance ofthe teaboard, and a request from Mrs Jonas that she would make tea at aside-table for the party that had unexpectedly assembled, restored herto herself. She smiled again, and entered on her ministration with herown particular urbanity.

  'And quite a family it is to make tea for,' said Mrs Gamp; 'and wot ahappiness to do it! My good young 'ooman'--to the servant-girl--'p'rapssomebody would like to try a new-laid egg or two, not biled too hard.Likeways, a few rounds o' buttered toast, first cuttin' off the crust,in consequence of tender teeth, and not too many of 'em; which Gamphimself, Mrs Chuzzlewit, at one blow, being in liquor, struck out four,two single, and two double, as was took by Mrs Harris for a keepsake,and is carried in her pocket at this present hour, along with twocramp-bones, a bit o' ginger, and a grater like a blessed infant's shoe,in tin, with a little heel to put the nutmeg in; as many times I've seenand said, and used for candle when required, within the month.'

  As the privileges of the side-table--besides including the smallprerogatives of sitting next the toast, and taking two cups of tea toother people's one, and always taking them at a crisis, that is tosay, before putting fresh water into the tea-pot, and after it had beenstanding for some time--also comprehended a full view of the company,and an opportunity of addressing them as from a rostrum, Mrs Gampdischarged the functions entrusted to her with extreme good-humour andaffability. Sometimes resting her saucer on the palm of her outspreadhand, and supporting her elbow on the table, she stopped between hersips of tea to favour the circle with a smile, a wink, a roll of thehead, or some other mark of notice; and at those periods her countenancewas lighted up with a degree of intelligence and vivacity, which it wasalmost impossible to separate from the benignant influence of distilledwaters.

  But for Mrs Gamp, it would have been a curiously silent party. MissPecksniff only spoke to her Augustus, and to him in whispers. Augustusspoke to nobody, but sighed for every one, and occasionally gave himselfsuch a sounding slap upon the forehead as would make Mrs Todgers, whowas rather nervous, start in her chair with an involuntary exclamation.Mrs Todgers was occupied in knitting, and seldom spoke. Poor Merry heldthe hand of cheerful little Ruth between her own, and listening withevident pleasure to all she said, but rarely speaking herself, sometimessmiled, and sometimes kissed her on the cheek, and sometimes turnedaside to hide the tears that trembled in her eyes. Tom felt this changein her so much, and was so glad to see how tenderly Ruth dealt with her,and how she knew and answered to it, that he had not the heart to makeany movement towards their departure, although he had long since givenutterance to all he came to say.

  The old clerk, subsiding into his usual state, remained profoundlysilent, while the rest of the little assembly were thus occupied, intentupon the dreams, whatever they might be, which hardly seemed to stirthe surface of his sluggish thoughts. The bent of these dull fanciescombining probably with the silent feasting that was going on about him,and some struggling recollection of the last approach to revelry he hadwitnessed, suggested a strange question to his mind. He looked roundupon a sudden, and said:

  'Who's lying dead upstairs?'

  'No one,' said Merry, turning to him. 'What is the matter? We are allhere.'

  'All here!' cried the old man. 'All here! Where is he then--my oldmaster, Mr Chuzzlewit, who had the only son? Where is he?'

  'Hush! Hush!' said Merry, speaking kindly to him. 'That happened longago. Don't you recollect?'

  'Recollect!' rejoined the old man, with a cry of grief. 'As if I couldforget! As if I ever could forget!'

  He put his hand up to his face for a moment; and then repeated turninground exactly as before:

  'Who'
s lying dead upstairs?'

  'No one!' said Merry.

  At first he gazed angrily upon her, as upon a stranger who endeavouredto deceive him; but peering into her face, and seeing that it was indeedshe, he shook his head in sorrowful compassion.

  'You think not. But they don't tell you. No, no, poor thing! They don'ttell you. Who are these, and why are they merry-making here, if there isno one dead? Foul play! Go see who it is!'

  She made a sign to them not to speak to him, which indeed they hadlittle inclination to do; and remained silent herself. So did he fora short time; but then he repeated the same question with an eagernessthat had a peculiar terror in it.

  'There's some one dead,' he said, 'or dying; and I want to knows who itis. Go see, go see! Where's Jonas?'

  'In the country,' she replied.

  The old man gazed at her as if he doubted what she said, or had notheard her; and, rising from his chair, walked across the room andupstairs, whispering as he went, 'Foul play!' They heard his footstepsoverhead, going up into that corner of the room in which the bed stood(it was there old Anthony had died); and then they heard him coming downagain immediately. His fancy was not so strong or wild that it picturedto him anything in the deserted bedchamber which was not there; for hereturned much calmer, and appeared to have satisfied himself.

  'They don't tell you,' he said to Merry in his quavering voice, ashe sat down again, and patted her upon the head. 'They don't tell meeither; but I'll watch, I'll watch. They shall not hurt you; don't befrightened. When you have sat up watching, I have sat up watching too.Aye, aye, I have!' he piped out, clenching his weak, shrivelled hand.'Many a night I have been ready!'

  He said this with such trembling gaps and pauses in his want of breath,and said it in his jealous secrecy so closely in her ear, that littleor nothing of it was understood by the visitors. But they had heardand seen enough of the old man to be disquieted, and to have lefttheir seats and gathered about him; thereby affording Mrs Gamp,whose professional coolness was not so easily disturbed, an eligibleopportunity for concentrating the whole resources of her powerful mindand appetite upon the toast and butter, tea and eggs. She had broughtthem to bear upon those viands with such vigour that her face was in thehighest state of inflammation, when she now (there being nothing left toeat or drink) saw fit to interpose.

  'Why, highty tighty, sir!' cried Mrs Gamp, 'is these your manners? Youwant a pitcher of cold water throw'd over you to bring you round; that'smy belief, and if you was under Betsey Prig you'd have it, too, I doassure you, Mr Chuffey. Spanish Flies is the only thing to draw thisnonsense out of you; and if anybody wanted to do you a kindness, they'dclap a blister of 'em on your head, and put a mustard poultige on yourback. 'Who's dead, indeed! It wouldn't be no grievous loss if some onewas, I think!'

  'He's quiet now, Mrs Gamp,' said Merry. 'Don't disturb him.'

  'Oh, bother the old wictim, Mrs Chuzzlewit,' replied that zealous lady,'I ain't no patience with him. You give him his own way too much byhalf. A worritin' wexagious creetur!'

  No doubt with the view of carrying out the precepts she enforced, and'bothering the old wictim' in practice as well as in theory, Mrs Gamptook him by the collar of his coat, and gave him some dozen or two ofhearty shakes backward and forward in his chair; that exercise beingconsidered by the disciples of the Prig school of nursing (who are verynumerous among professional ladies) as exceedingly conducive to repose,and highly beneficial to the performance of the nervous functions.Its effect in this instance was to render the patient so giddy andaddle-headed, that he could say nothing more; which Mrs Gamp regarded asthe triumph of her art.

  'There!' she said, loosening the old man's cravat, in consequence of hisbeing rather black in the face, after this scientific treatment. 'Now,I hope, you're easy in your mind. If you should turn at all faint wecan soon rewive you, sir, I promige you. Bite a person's thumbs, orturn their fingers the wrong way,' said Mrs Gamp, smiling with theconsciousness of at once imparting pleasure and instruction to herauditors, 'and they comes to, wonderful, Lord bless you!'

  As this excellent woman had been formerly entrusted with the care of MrChuffey on a previous occasion, neither Mrs Jonas nor anybody else hadthe resolution to interfere directly with her mode of treatment;though all present (Tom Pinch and his sister especially) appeared to bedisposed to differ from her views. For such is the rash boldness of theuninitiated, that they will frequently set up some monstrous abstractprinciple, such as humanity, or tenderness, or the like idle folly, inobstinate defiance of all precedent and usage; and will even venture tomaintain the same against the persons who have made the precedentsand established the usage, and who must therefore be the best and mostimpartial judges of the subject.

  'Ah, Mr Pinch!' said Miss Pecksniff. 'It all comes of this unfortunatemarriage. If my sister had not been so precipitate, and had not unitedherself to a Wretch, there would have been no Mr Chuffey in the house.'

  'Hush!' cried Tom. 'She'll hear you.'

  'I should be very sorry if she did hear me, Mr Pinch,' said Cherry,raising her voice a little; 'for it is not in my nature to add to theuneasiness of any person; far less of my own sister. I know what asister's duties are, Mr Pinch, and I hope I always showed it in mypractice. Augustus, my dear child, find my pocket-handkerchief, and giveit to me.'

  Augustus obeyed, and took Mrs Todgers aside to pour his griefs into herfriendly bosom.

  'I am sure, Mr Pinch,' said Charity, looking after her betrothed andglancing at her sister, 'that I ought to be very grateful for theblessings I enjoy, and those which are yet in store for me. When Icontrast Augustus'--here she was modest and embarrased--'who, I don'tmind saying to you, is all softness, mildness, and devotion, with thedetestable man who is my sister's husband; and when I think, Mr Pinch,that in the dispensations of this world, our cases might have beenreversed; I have much to be thankful for, indeed, and much to make mehumble and contented.'

  Contented she might have been, but humble she assuredly was not. Herface and manner experienced something so widely different from humility,that Tom could not help understanding and despising the base motivesthat were working in her breast. He turned away, and said to Ruth, thatit was time for them to go.

  'I will write to your husband,' said Tom to Merry, 'and explain to him,as I would have done if I had met him here, that if he has sustained anyinconvenience through my means, it is not my fault; a postman not beingmore innocent of the news he brings, than I was when I handed him thatletter.'

  'I thank you!' said Merry. 'It may do some good.'

  She parted tenderly from Ruth, who with her brother was in the act ofleaving the room, when a key was heard in the lock of the door below,and immediately afterwards a quick footstep in the passage. Tom stopped,and looked at Merry.

  It was Jonas, she said timidly.

  'I had better not meet him on the stairs, perhaps,' said Tom, drawinghis sister's arm through his, and coming back a step or two. 'I'll waitfor him here, a moment.'

  He had scarcely said it when the door opened, and Jonas entered. Hiswife came forward to receive him; but he put her aside with his hand,and said in a surly tone:

  'I didn't know you'd got a party.'

  As he looked, at the same time, either by accident or design, towardsMiss Pecksniff; and as Miss Pecksniff was only too delighted to quarrelwith him, she instantly resented it.

  'Oh dear!' she said, rising. 'Pray don't let us intrude upon yourdomestic happiness! That would be a pity. We have taken tea here, sir,in your absence; but if you will have the goodness to send us a note ofthe expense, receipted, we shall be happy to pay it. Augustus, my love,we will go, if you please. Mrs Todgers, unless you wish to remain here,we shall be happy to take you with us. It would be a pity, indeed, tospoil the bliss which this gentleman always brings with him, especiallyinto his own home.'

  'Charity! Charity!' remonstrated her sister, in such a heartfelt tonethat she might have been imploring her to show the cardinal virtue whosename she bore.

 
'Merry, my dear, I am much obliged to you for your advice,' returnedMiss Pecksniff, with a stately scorn--by the way, she had not beenoffered any--'but I am not his slave--'

  'No, nor wouldn't have been if you could,' interrupted Jonas. 'We knowall about it.'

  'WHAT did you say, sir?' cried Miss Pecksniff, sharply.

  'Didn't you hear?' retorted Jonas, lounging down upon a chair. 'I am nota-going to say it again. If you like to stay, you may stay. If you liketo go, you may go. But if you stay, please to be civil.'

  'Beast!' cried Miss Pecksniff, sweeping past him. 'Augustus! He isbeneath your notice!' Augustus had been making some faint and sicklydemonstration of shaking his fist. 'Come away, child,' screamed MissPecksniff, 'I command you!'

  The scream was elicited from her by Augustus manifesting an intention toreturn and grapple with him. But Miss Pecksniff giving the fiery youtha pull, and Mrs Todgers giving him a push they all three tumbled outof the room together, to the music of Miss Pecksniff's shrillremonstrances.

  All this time Jonas had seen nothing of Tom and his sister; for theywere almost behind the door when he opened it, and he had sat down withhis back towards them, and had purposely kept his eyes upon the oppositeside of the street during his altercation with Miss Pecksniff, in orderthat his seeming carelessness might increase the exasperation of thatwronged young damsel. His wife now faltered out that Tom had beenwaiting to see him; and Tom advanced.

  The instant he presented himself, Jonas got up from his chair, andswearing a great oath, caught it in his grasp, as if he would havefelled Tom to the ground with it. As he most unquestionably would havedone, but that his very passion and surprise made him irresolute, andgave Tom, in his calmness, an opportunity of being heard.

  'You have no cause to be violent, sir,' said Tom. 'Though what I wish tosay relates to your own affairs, I know nothing of them, and desire toknow nothing of them.'

  Jonas was too enraged to speak. He held the door open; and stamping hisfoot upon the ground, motioned Tom away.

  'As you cannot suppose,' said Tom, 'that I am here with any view ofconciliating you or pleasing myself, I am quite indifferent to yourreception of me, or your dismissal of me. Hear what I have to say, ifyou are not a madman! I gave you a letter the other day, when you wereabout to go abroad.'

  'You Thief, you did!' retorted Jonas. 'I'll pay you for the carriage ofit one day, and settle an old score besides. I will!'

  'Tut, tut,' said Tom, 'you needn't waste words or threats. I wish youto understand--plainly because I would rather keep clear of you andeverything that concerns you: not because I have the least apprehensionof your doing me any injury: which would be weak indeed--that I am noparty to the contents of that letter. That I know nothing of it. That Iwas not even aware that it was to be delivered to you; and that I had itfrom--'

  'By the Lord!' cried Jonas, fiercely catching up the chair, 'I'll knockyour brains out, if you speak another word.'

  Tom, nevertheless, persisting in his intention, and opening his lips tospeak again, Jonas set upon him like a savage; and in the quickness andferocity of his attack would have surely done him some grievous injury,defenceless as he was, and embarrassed by having his frightened sisterclinging to his arm, if Merry had not run between them, crying toTom for the love of Heaven to leave the house. The agony of this poorcreature, the terror of his sister, the impossibility of making himselfaudible, and the equal impossibility of bearing up against Mrs Gamp, whothrew herself upon him like a feather-bed, and forced him backwards downthe stairs by the mere oppression of her dead weight, prevailed. Tomshook the dust of that house off his feet, without having mentionedNadgett's name.

  If the name could have passed his lips; if Jonas, in the insolence ofhis vile nature, had never roused him to do that old act of manliness,for which (and not for his last offence) he hated him with suchmalignity; if Jonas could have learned, as then he could and would havelearned, through Tom's means, what unsuspected spy there was upon him;he would have been saved from the commission of a Guilty Deed, thendrawing on towards its black accomplishment. But the fatality was ofhis own working; the pit was of his own digging; the gloom that gatheredround him was the shadow of his own life.

  His wife had closed the door, and thrown herself before it, on theground, upon her knees. She held up her hands to him now, and besoughthim not to be harsh with her, for she had interposed in fear ofbloodshed.

  'So, so!' said Jonas, looking down upon her, as he fetched his breath.'These are your friends, are they, when I am away? You plot and tamperwith this sort of people, do you?'

  'No, indeed! I have no knowledge of these secrets, and no clue totheir meaning. I have never seen him since I left home but once--buttwice--before to-day.'

  'Oh!' sneered Jonas, catching at this correction. 'But once, but twice,eh? Which do you mean? Twice and once, perhaps. Three times! How manymore, you lying jade?'

  As he made an angry motion with his hand, she shrunk down hastily. Asuggestive action! Full of a cruel truth!

  'How many more times?' he repeated.

  'No more. The other morning, and to-day, and once besides.'

  He was about to retort upon her, when the clock struck. He startedstopped, and listened; appearing to revert to some engagement, or tosome other subject, a secret within his own breast, recalled to him bythis record of the progress of the hours.

  'Don't lie there! Get up!'

  Having helped her to rise, or rather hauled her up by the arm, he wenton to say:

  'Listen to me, young lady; and don't whine when you have no occasion, orI may make some for you. If I find him in my house again, or find thatyou have seen him in anybody else's house, you'll repent it. If you arenot deaf and dumb to everything that concerns me, unless you have myleave to hear and speak, you'll repent it. If you don't obey exactlywhat I order, you'll repent it. Now, attend. What's the time?'

  'It struck eight a minute ago.'

  He looked towards her intently; and said, with a laboured distinctness,as if he had got the words off by heart:

  'I have been travelling day and night, and am tired. I have lost somemoney, and that don't improve me. Put my supper in the little off-roombelow, and have the truckle-bed made. I shall sleep there to-night, andmaybe to-morrow night; and if I can sleep all day to-morrow, so muchthe better, for I've got trouble to sleep off, if I can. Keep the housequiet, and don't call me. Mind! Don't call me. Don't let anybody callme. Let me lie there.'

  She said it should be done. Was that all?

  'All what? You must be prying and questioning!' he angrily retorted.'What more do you want to know?'

  'I want to know nothing, Jonas, but what you tell me. All hope ofconfidence between us has long deserted me!'

  'Ecod, I should hope so!' he muttered.

  'But if you will tell me what you wish, I will be obedient and willtry to please you. I make no merit of that, for I have no friend inmy father or my sister, but am quite alone. I am very humble andsubmissive. You told me you would break my spirit, and you have done so.Do not break my heart too!'

  She ventured, as she said these words, to lay her hand upon hisshoulder. He suffered it to rest there, in his exultation; and the wholemean, abject, sordid, pitiful soul of the man, looked at her, for themoment, through his wicked eyes.

  For the moment only; for, with the same hurried return to somethingwithin himself, he bade her, in a surly tone, show her obedience byexecuting his commands without delay. When she had withdrawn he pacedup and down the room several times; but always with his right handclenched, as if it held something; which it did not, being empty. Whenhe was tired of this, he threw himself into a chair, and thoughtfullyturned up the sleeve of his right arm, as if he were rather musingabout its strength than examining it; but, even then, he kept the handclenched.

  He was brooding in this chair, with his eyes cast down upon the ground,when Mrs Gamp came in to tell him that the little room was ready. Notbeing quite sure of her reception after interfering in the quarrel, MrsGamp, as a means
of interesting and propitiating her patron, affected adeep solicitude in Mr Chuffey.

  'How is he now, sir?' she said.

  'Who?' cried Jonas, raising his head, and staring at her.

  'To be sure!' returned the matron with a smile and a curtsey. 'What am Ithinking of! You wasn't here, sir, when he was took so strange. I neversee a poor dear creetur took so strange in all my life, except a patientmuch about the same age, as I once nussed, which his calling was thecustom-'us, and his name was Mrs Harris's own father, as pleasant asinger, Mr Chuzzlewit, as ever you heerd, with a voice like a Jew's-harpin the bass notes, that it took six men to hold at sech times, foamingfrightful.'

  'Chuffey, eh?' said Jonas carelessly, seeing that she went up to theold, clerk, and looked at him. 'Ha!'

  'The creetur's head's so hot,' said Mrs Gamp, 'that you might heat aflat-iron at it. And no wonder I am sure, considerin' the things hesaid!'

  'Said!' cried Jonas. 'What did he say?'

  Mrs Gamp laid her hand upon her heart, to put some check upon itspalpitations, and turning up her eyes replied in a faint voice:

  'The awfulest things, Mr Chuzzlewit, as ever I heerd! Which Mrs Harris'sfather never spoke a word when took so, some does and some don't, exceptsayin' when he come round, "Where is Sairey Gamp?" But raly, sir, whenMr Chuffey comes to ask who's lyin' dead upstairs, and--'

  'Who's lying dead upstairs!' repeated Jonas, standing aghast.

  Mrs Gamp nodded, made as if she were swallowing, and went on.

  'Who's lying dead upstairs; sech was his Bible language; and where wasMr Chuzzlewit as had the only son; and when he goes upstairs a-lookingin the beds and wandering about the rooms, and comes down againa-whisperin' softly to his-self about foul play and that; it gives mesech a turn, I don't deny it, Mr Chuzzlewit, that I never could have kepmyself up but for a little drain o' spirits, which I seldom touches, butcould always wish to know where to find, if so dispoged, never knowin'wot may happen next, the world bein' so uncertain.'

  'Why, the old fool's mad!' cried Jonas, much disturbed.

  'That's my opinion, sir,' said Mrs Gamp, 'and I will not deceive you. Ibelieve as Mr Chuffey, sir, rekwires attention (if I may make so bold),and should not have his liberty to wex and worrit your sweet lady as hedoes.'

  'Why, who minds what he says?' retorted Jonas.

  'Still he is worritin' sir,' said Mrs Gamp. 'No one don't mind him, buthe IS a ill conwenience.'

  'Ecod you're right,' said Jonas, looking doubtfully at the subject ofthis conversation. 'I have half a mind to shut him up.'

  Mrs Gamp rubbed her hands, and smiled, and shook her head, and sniffedexpressively, as scenting a job.

  'Could you--could you take care of such an idiot, now, in some spareroom upstairs?' asked Jonas.

  'Me and a friend of mine, one off, one on, could do it, Mr Chuzzlewit,'replied the nurse; 'our charges not bein' high, but wishin' they waslower, and allowance made considerin' not strangers. Me and Betsey Prig,sir, would undertake Mr Chuffey reasonable,' said Mrs Gamp, looking athim with her head on one side, as if he had been a piece of goods, forwhich she was driving a bargain; 'and give every satigefaction. BetseyPrig has nussed a many lunacies, and well she knows their ways,which puttin' 'em right close afore the fire, when fractious, is thecertainest and most compoging.'

  While Mrs Gamp discoursed to this effect, Jonas was walking up and downthe room again, glancing covertly at the old clerk, as he did so. He nowmade a stop, and said:

  'I must look after him, I suppose, or I may have him doing somemischief. What say you?'

  'Nothin' more likely!' Mrs Gamp replied. 'As well I have experienged, Ido assure you, sir.'

  'Well! Look after him for the present, and--let me see--three days fromthis time let the other woman come here, and we'll see if we can makea bargain of it. About nine or ten o'clock at night, say. Keep your eyeupon him in the meanwhile, and don't talk about it. He's as mad as aMarch hare!'

  'Madder!' cried Mrs Gamp. 'A deal madder!'

  'See to him, then; take care that he does no harm; and recollect what Ihave told you.'

  Leaving Mrs Gamp in the act of repeating all she had been told, andof producing in support of her memory and trustworthiness, manycommendations selected from among the most remarkable opinions of thecelebrated Mrs Harris, he descended to the little room prepared for him,and pulling off his coat and his boots, put them outside the door beforehe locked it. In locking it, he was careful so to adjust the key as tobaffle any curious person who might try to peep in through the key-hole;and when he had taken these precautions, he sat down to his supper.

  'Mr Chuff,' he muttered, 'it'll be pretty easy to be even with YOU. It'sof no use doing things by halves, and as long as I stop here, I'll takegood care of you. When I'm off you may say what you please. But it'sa d--d strange thing,' he added, pushing away his untouched plate, andstriding moodily to and fro, 'that his drivellings should have takenthis turn just now.'

  After pacing the little room from end to end several times, he sat downin another chair.

  'I say just now, but for anything I know, he may have been carrying onthe same game all along. Old dog! He shall be gagged!'

  He paced the room again in the same restless and unsteady way; and thensat down upon the bedstead, leaning his chin upon his hand, and lookingat the table. When he had looked at it for a long time, he rememberedhis supper; and resuming the chair he had first occupied, began to eatwith great rapacity; not like a hungry man, but as if he were determinedto do it. He drank too, roundly; sometimes stopping in the middle of adraught to walk, and change his seat and walk again, and dart back tothe table and fall to, in a ravenous hurry, as before.

  It was now growing dark. As the gloom of evening, deepening intonight, came on, another dark shade emerging from within him seemed tooverspread his face, and slowly change it. Slowly, slowly; darker anddarker; more and more haggard; creeping over him by little and little,until it was black night within him and without.

  The room in which he had shut himself up, was on the ground floor, atthe back of the house. It was lighted by a dirty skylight, and had adoor in the wall, opening into a narrow covered passage or blind-alley,very little frequented after five or six o'clock in the evening, andnot in much use as a thoroughfare at any hour. But it had an outlet in aneighbouring street.

  The ground on which this chamber stood had, at one time, not within hisrecollection, been a yard; and had been converted to its present purposefor use as an office. But the occasion for it died with the man whobuilt it; and saving that it had sometimes served as an apology for aspare bedroom, and that the old clerk had once held it (but that wasyears ago) as his recognized apartment, it had been little troubled byAnthony Chuzzlewit and Son. It was a blotched, stained, mouldering room,like a vault; and there were water-pipes running through it, which atunexpected times in the night, when other things were quiet, clicked andgurgled suddenly, as if they were choking.

  The door into the court had not been open for a long, long time; but thekey had always hung in one place, and there it hung now. He was preparedfor its being rusty; for he had a little bottle of oil in his pocket andthe feather of a pen, with which he lubricated the key and the lock too,carefully. All this while he had been without his coat, and had nothingon his feet but his stockings. He now got softly into bed in the samestate, and tossed from side to side to tumble it. In his restlesscondition that was easily done.

  When he arose, he took from his portmanteau, which he had caused to becarried into that place when he came home, a pair of clumsy shoes,and put them on his feet; also a pair of leather leggings, suchas countrymen are used to wear, with straps to fasten them to thewaistband. In these he dressed himself at leisure. Lastly, he took outa common frock of coarse dark jean, which he drew over his ownunder-clothing; and a felt hat--he had purposely left his own upstairs.He then sat himself down by the door, with the key in his hand, waiting.

  He had no light; the time was dreary, long, and awful. The ringers werepracti
cing in a neighbouring church, and the clashing of the bells wasalmost maddening. Curse the clamouring bells, they seemed to know thathe was listening at the door, and to proclaim it in a crowd of voices toall the town! Would they never be still?

  They ceased at last, and then the silence was so new and terrible thatit seemed the prelude to some dreadful noise. Footsteps in the court!Two men. He fell back from the door on tiptoe, as if they could haveseen him through its wooden panels.

  They passed on, talking (he could make out) about a skeleton which hadbeen dug up yesterday, in some work of excavation near at hand, and wassupposed to be that of a murdered man. 'So murder is not always foundout, you see,' they said to one another as they turned the corner.

  Hush!

  He put the key into the lock, and turned it. The door resisted for awhile, but soon came stiffly open; mingling with the sense of fever inhis mouth, a taste of rust, and dust, and earth, and rotting wood. Helooked out; passed out; locked it after him.

  All was clear and quiet, as he fled away.