My Soul to Steal

  No! A jolt of adrenaline shot through my chest. I lurched toward the door, all thoughts of patience and timing forgotten. But I didn’t even make it to the end of the bed before Alec’s hand closed around my arm. He jerked me backward with more strength than a human should have had, and I had half a moment to disagree with the hellion’s assessment of Alec’s power before Avari threw me back onto the mattress. My head slammed into the headboard, and he was on me in an instant.

  He pinned me with his weight, propped on his elbows with my wrists trapped in his fists.

  “Get off me!” I fought the suffocating panic building inside me as I struggled to free my arms. Flashes of four-point restraints and men in hospital scrubs played in my memory, with an all new fear born of the sheer delight in not-Alec’s eyes.

  “Shhhh…” Avari whispered, as Alec’s cheek brushed mine. “Your father is fine, for the moment. I simply haven’t yet decided what to do with him.”

  And that had to be true, because a hellion couldn’t lie….

  I went still, my heart racing, terror lapping at my fragile control.

  “Would you believe that while I’m in this body, I can feel everything it feels? And it likes this arrangement.” He shifted over me, and I bit my lip against a scream, knowing Avari enjoyed every single moment of my fear. “Have you and my Alec done this before?”

  I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t do anything but ride the horror in silence, desperately hoping I was still dreaming. That this was part of the nightmare.

  He let go of my left wrist to brush hair from my face, then wedged one leg between my knees.

  Pulse racing in panic, I acted without thinking. Without stopping to consider what would happen if my rash plan didn’t work. My free arm shot out. I grabbed the first thing my hand landed on. My alarm clock.

  I swung as hard as I could. The cord ripped from the wall. The clock slammed into Alec’s head. Avari blinked, stunned. So I did it again, grunting with the effort.

  His eyes fluttered shut and he collapsed on top of me.

  Tears of relief and belated terror blurred my view of the ceiling. I shoved him off of me and scuttled off the bed into one corner of my room. Alec rolled over the edge of the mattress and thumped to the floor on the other side.

  For several long moments, I could only breathe, fighting not to hyperventilate. My legs shook when I stood, and my hand trembled as I wiped my eyes, determined not to give in to sobs. I crossed my room slowly, watching Alec, half convinced Avari was playing possum just so he could catch me again, and start the whole sadistic game all over. But he didn’t move, other than the steady, slow rise and fall of his chest.

  Once I’d crossed the threshold of my room, I raced down the hall and into the living room, where I dropped onto the floor next to my dad. He lay on the carpet on his left side, with his back to the couch, his ankles tied together, wrists bound at his back. There was a piece of duct tape over his mouth, and when I ripped it off—hoping in vain that the pain would wake him up—I found an entire ratty dish rag stuffed into his mouth.

  I couldn’t find my dad’s pocket knife—there was no telling what the hellion had done with it—so I got a steak knife from the kitchen and carefully cut the ropes, but my father’s eyes wouldn’t open. And I had no idea what to do.

  I should do something. I should call someone, but an ambulance seemed risky. What would I tell the police? Technically, Alec had attacked us both, but even if I denied that, the evidence wouldn’t support whatever desperate lie I made up.

  But I didn’t want to be alone in the house with two unconscious men, both of whom had been possessed by a vengeful hellion in the past hour. So I fumbled for the phone on the nearest end table and speed-dialed the second number on the list.

  I hadn’t forgiven Nash, and I did not want to go groveling back to him when I needed help. But I did want to hear his voice. And welcome a touch that could replace the feel of Avari’s unwelcome, surrogate hands on me.

  The phone rang and rang, and when Nash finally answered, I sank onto the floor in relief. “Hello?” He was still half-asleep, and I wished I could join him. Just curl up next to him and forget about the constant terror my own nights had become.

  “I need help.” I was proud of how steady my voice sounded, but he knew me too well.

  “What happened?” Bedsprings creaked and a light switch clicked softly. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Just a little freaked out, and I don’t really want to be alone. Could you… Would you come over?”

  “Give me five minutes.” The phone clicked in my ear, then buzzed with a dial tone. He didn’t even know what had happened, and it didn’t matter. If I needed him, he would come. No matter what.

  I sat there for a moment, still reeling from the trauma of the past few minutes. Then I stood and did the only thing I could think of to protect myself while I waited: I grabbed the duct tape lying on the floor near my father’s head, then headed into my room, where I rolled Alec onto his side and taped his hands together behind his back and his feet together at the ankles. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was all I had. Duct tape, and the desperate hope that Avari wouldn’t have the strength or the opportunity to possess either Alec or my dad again before the end of the longest night in history.

  Then I unlocked the front door and sat on the floor next to my father’s head. And waited.

  A minute and a half later, my front door flew open. Nash stood on the porch, panting, wearing only jeans, a short-sleeve tee, and sockless sneakers. He stepped inside and shoved the door closed, and I stood. “You ran the whole way?”

  “Mom has the car.” He folded his arms around me, and I let him, even though his chilled limbs stole my warmth and made me shiver.

  I was warm on the inside.

  “What the hell happened?” he asked finally, pulling away to kneel beside my dad, two fingers pressed against the pulse in his neck.

  “Avari. Dad’s been making Alec sleep tied to the recliner, so tonight Avari used my dad to cut Alec free, then he possessed Alec and…”

  “And what?” Evidently satisfied by my dad’s pulse, Nash stood, his irises churning with green twists of fear and amber swirls of protective anger.

  “Nothing.” I shrugged miserably. “Nothing happened. I hit him with my alarm clock, and now I might need a new alarm clock, but I think Alec’s okay.”

  “I don’t give a shit about Alec.” More fierce colors flashed in his eyes. “What about you? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Just a couple of bruises.” I held up my arms so he could see the faint handprints around my wrists, and Nash clenched his teeth so hard I was afraid he’d crack them. “I taped him up, so I think we’re pretty safe. I just… I didn’t want to be alone.”

  Nash wrapped one arm around me, and his hands felt warm now, through the tee I slept in. “Where is he?”

  I pointed toward my room, and Nash stomped off down the hall. A second later, he reappeared, dragging a still-bound and unconscious Alec behind him. He dropped Alec on the floor and stared at him, and I understood that he was fighting a violent impulse I could only vaguely understand. He wanted to kick Alec while he was down—I could see it in his eyes.

  “Nash, none of this is his fault. He hates Avari as much as we do. Maybe more.”

  “No. More isn’t possible. Not after that,” Nash insisted, gesturing toward my bruised arms. He helped me lay my father on the couch, then we curled up together in the recliner and watched them both, waiting for morning.

  NASH STAYED UNTIL my father finally woke up around dawn and thanked him, then sent him home. Over coffee, I explained what had happened—my dad didn’t remember anything—then I tried to pretend I couldn’t see the slow swirl of fear in his eyes. If Avari had the power to possess him—a one-hundred-thirty-year-old bean sidhe—then his limits were few. And that was enough to scare anyone.

  Alec woke up half an hour later, while my dad was in the shower.

  “Kaylee?”

  I rubbed s
leep from my eyes, but stayed in my chair, across the room from where he still lay on the floor. “Are you…you?”

  “Yeah. Shit. My arm’s asleep.” He tried to move, but could only shrug awkwardly with his hands bound, his forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What happened?”

  I brushed hair back from my face, but stayed in my corner. “What color was my first bike?”

  Guilt flooded his features when he saw my face and recognized the remnants of my recent trauma. “Kaylee, what happened?”

  “Just answer the question. What color?”

  “Red. No!” He shook his head when my eyes widened in panic. “White, with red ribbons. Sorry.”

  My gaze narrowed on him. I wanted to trust him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t fully trust anyone who was in a position to actually help me. I’d never felt more alone in my life.

  “Give me a break, Kaylee, please. My head feels like it’s the size of a pumpkin and I’m tied up on the floor and I don’t know how I got here. I’m not exactly thinking straight.”

  I exhaled slowly, fighting for calm. Avari had fooled me too many times. “What did you guess Emma named her first bra?”

  A flicker of amusement lit his features for just an instant. “Helga,” he said, and I finally stood. “What the hell happened?”

  I crossed the room carrying the steak knife, but hesitated to cut him free. I was sure it was Alec now, but when I looked at him, I saw Avari staring down at me through Alec’s eyes, pinning me. And every time I thought about that, fear gave way to a miniburst of panic, deep in my chest.

  “Kay?”

  “You…” I stopped and started over, squatting to cut the tape so I wouldn’t have to look at him. It wasn’t Alec’s fault. “He… He tied up my dad, then came into my room and…” I couldn’t finish, so I finally just showed him one bruised arm.

  “Oh, damn, Kaylee, I’m so sorry.” Alec looked like someone had just punched him in the face. Then followed up with a kick to the groin. “You know I’d never…”

  “I know.” I sank onto the floor and leaned against the couch with my knees pulled up to my chest. “I don’t know what to do. He’ll come back. I don’t think we can stop him.”

  “Yes, we can.” Alec sat up and used the knife to free his feet. “We’ll find a way.” He peeled off the last piece of tape, then his hand rose to the back of his head and came away smeared with blood. Alec winced. “I guess your dad’s pissed?”

  I forced an uneasy grin at that. “Yeah, but I did that. Also, I’d steer clear of Nash for a while. And you should probably stay away from Tod, for good measure.” Because one way or another, the reaper would hear about what happened.

  And that’s when I noticed the dark red stain on the carpet. I could have killed Alec. And none of this was his fault.

  “This has to stop.”

  “I know. We’ll find a way. I swear, Kaylee, this will never happen again.”

  But it was hard to take heart in his words, because they sounded more and more hollow every time I heard them.

  19

  SABINE WAS SITTING in the passenger seat of my car when I tried to leave for work at nine-thirty Sunday morning. I saw her the moment I stepped onto the front porch, and for a second, I considered simply marching back into the kitchen, where my father was cleaning Alec’s head wound, trying to figure out how to keep Avari out of our lives for good. To my surprise, he was more sympathetic to Alec’s dilemma this morning, rather than less, since he’d now personally fallen victim to possession.

  But ignoring her would only be prolonging the inevitable. And Sabine’s presence was starting to feel inevitable, though I’d only known her a week. The mara was a force of nature—a tidal wave of fear, and pain, and need—and the only way I knew to survive her was to grab the nearest tree and ride out the surge.

  She didn’t look up as I jogged down the porch steps; she just stared out the window, long dark hair covering the only visible side of her face. A glance up and down the street showed no sign of her car, and I decided right then not to even ask how she’d gotten to my house.

  I exhaled slowly as I walked down the driveway, struggling to contain the sudden white-hot flare of my temper, determined to face my latest problem head-on.

  Despite her obvious B and E, the driver’s side door was locked, and Sabine didn’t turn to face me when I tried the handle. Nor did she unlock the door and let me into my own car, though she’d clearly gone through some effort to let herself in. If I couldn’t see the back of her rib cage expanding with each breath, I might have thought she was dead.

  That’d be just like Sabine, to die in my car—one last trauma for me before she’d probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

  Gritting my teeth, I unlocked the door myself and slid into the driver’s seat. “What are you doing in my car?” I demanded, still clutching my keys for fear that if I put them in the ignition, she’d grab them and run, as the next part of whatever stunt she obviously had planned.

  “Waiting,” she said, and her voice was oddly nasal.

  My spine tingled. Had Avari somehow gotten ahold of her, too? Had he found another body to wear while he tortured me?

  But then she turned, and I understood. She wasn’t possessed—she’d been crying.

  Great. A bawling Nightmare. What’s next? A schizophrenic Minotaur?

  “How did you get in here?” I asked, not sure I really wanted the answer. I should have just kicked her out and headed to work—I’d probably be late as it was. But I so rarely had the upper hand with Sabine that I couldn’t resist the opportunity to find out what could possibly make the big bad mara cry.

  Sabine reached between her seat and the passenger’s side door and held up a long, thin strip of metal with a hook on one end. A slim jim.

  My fist clenched around my keys. “I don’t even want to know how you learned to use that.” My curiosity—not to mention my patience—was fading by the second. “If you expect me to feel sorry for you, you’re out of luck,” I said, trying not to stare at her swollen eyes, flushed face, and tear-streaked cheeks.

  “I don’t want your sympathy.” She sniffled, then grabbed a tissue from the minipack in my center console and wiped her face. It didn’t help. “I want you to fix this.”

  “Fix what?”

  “This!” She spread her arms, as if to encompass her entire screwed-up life. “Nash won’t talk to me. I went back last night, and he just kicked me out again. He won’t even listen.”

  I have to admit, I took a little joy in her pain; she’d certainly dished out enough for me. “I’m surprised he let you in in the first place.”

  Sabine frowned like I wasn’t making sense. “I went in through a window.”

  “You broke into his house!” But then, why not? She’d broken into both my dreams and my car….

  She shrugged. “Harmony always forgets to check the windows.”

  “That’s not the point.” Though I made a note to mention that little security lapse to Nash. “You can’t just break into his house and expect him to be happy to see you!”

  Her frown deepened. “He always was before. We never could stay mad at each other, and after we had a fight, one of us would sneak into the other’s room, and instead of apologizing, we’d—”

  “Stop!” I shouted, louder than I’d intended to in the confines of my car. For a couple of endless moments, I could only blink at her, trying to process what she’d almost said, while subconsciously denying that we were even having this conversation. “I get the picture, and I don’t need to hear about it.” Or think about it, or ever, ever get stuck with a visual. “And anyway, that’s not normal, Sabine. In fact, it’s messed up. Sounds like you two had nothing in common but sex.”

  Hurt flickered across her tear-streaked expression, and again, my heart beat a little faster in satisfaction. But she recovered quickly. “I don’t think you know what’s normal, Kay. Sometimes messed up is just the way things are. And even if we weren’t a normal couple, so what? Screw norm
al. Normal is dull, and Nash and I were lightning in a bottle. We burned hard and fast, but never burned up.”

  I started to argue, but she spoke over me. “And it’s none of anyone’s else business what our relationship is built on, but just so you understand, I know Nash better than you ever will. You can’t truly know someone until you’ve seen what he’s afraid of, and even if he tells you all his deep dark secrets, you can never understand them like I do. You can never understand him like I do.”

  “Get out.” I’d heard enough.

  “No.” She locked the passenger’s side door with her elbow and crossed both arms over her chest. “Not until you fix this.”

  “Why should I? You haven’t even apologized.”

  She frowned, looking genuinely confused. “I can’t apologize.”

  My hands clenched around the wheel. “Why not?”

  “Because I’m not sorry!” She sat straighter, eyes wide and earnest. “I did what I had to do. It didn’t work, and now I wish I’d done something else, but I had to try, and I’m not sorry for that. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him back. I thought you’d understand that.”

  “I do.” I exhaled heavily and stared at the dashboard, then made myself meet her pained gaze. “That’s exactly why I’m not going to help you. Now get out of my car. I have to go to work.”

  Her gaze went dark, her full lips pressed into a thin, angry line. “Damn it, Kaylee, you’re going to fix this, or I swear I’ll be in your head all night long, every night for the rest of your life.”

  My jaw clenched so hard lights started flashing in front of my eyes. I shoved the key into the ignition and turned it, and when the engine rumbled to life, I twisted in my seat to check out the rear windshield as I backed down the drive. “Fine. If you won’t get out, consider yourself along for the ride. And don’t ask me how you’re getting home, ’cause this is a one-way argument.”

  “I can do it, you know,” she insisted a couple of minutes later, like I hadn’t spoken at all. Like I wasn’t halfway to the highway in my stupid Cinemark polo and pants. “Those other nightmares only ended because I let them. I can ride your dreams all night long—as long as I want—and you won’t be able to wake up until I decide you’ve had enough. And that won’t be until you make things right between me and Nash.”