Beowulf is Back
The branch struck Naiman squarely in the back of the head.
‘Take that you foreign interloper!’ shouted Louie-Louie.
‘Ouch!’ said Naiman, but, much to Louie-Louie’s shock and disappointment, he did not collapse. Instead, he very swiftly planted his knife in the ground and grabbed the branch as Louie-Louie tried another swing. Still holding onto Beowulf, who appeared to be winded, he jerked the branch from Louie-Louie’s hand and deftly tripped him with it. As Louie-Louie fell into the dirt, Naiman flung the branch away and regained his knife.
‘Neat,’ observed Beowulf.
‘Amateurs,’ replied Naiman, ‘no match for a trained professional. Now where were we?’
Beowulf grinned,
‘You had just outlined how you were going to complete your mission without my help and I was just about to point out that, as that was the case, then it was probably best if I completed my mission as directed. After all, I’m quite attached to being alive.’
Naiman considered this,
‘You are saying that, despite what you said before, that if I let you live, you will honour our agreement, kill Louie-Louie and the Briton, leaving Louis on the throne as the Duke requires?’
Louie-Louie let out a brief whine.
‘Your having the upper hand implies that kind of sacrifice,’ Beowulf agreed.
‘That is shockingly immoral,’ said Naiman serenely.
‘Of course,’ said Beowulf.
‘It is an idea,’ said Naiman, ‘however the final part of my contract from your possible Father was to despatch you; and I think it unlikely I’ll get a better chance than this.’
Again he raised his knife arm.
‘Do you have any last words?’
‘That is so like him,’ said Beowulf in a wistful tone that betrayed just a tinge of admiration, ‘very thorough!’
And then he spat.
‘I think we’re lost,’ declared Caractacus Carruthers in exasperation, ‘we haven’t found the village, we’ve come off the path and we are mislaid in this stupid wood!’
‘And I so wanted a drink,’ said Boo Dikka.
‘Ungh,’ grunted Dorf, who had fallen behind under the weight of the bag of gold, ‘is someone else going to take a turn?’
Caractacus and Boo ignored him and looked through the trees.
‘There are guards about,’ he said.
‘And we need to find the village to meet Beowulf.’
‘I think it was back the other way,’ said Caractacus.
‘Is no one going to help me,’ moaned Dorf.
They ignored him. Boo Dikka peered into the gloom.
‘Isn’t that Amarilla?’ asked Boo, as she spotted a girl quickly climbing down through the trees.
‘I think it is, but she is very dirty,’ observed Caractacus, ‘shall we follow her?’
‘I think so,’ said Boo, ‘Come on Dorf, don’t lag behind!’
‘Ungh,’ repeated Dorf.
Beowulf was an accomplished spitter. He had put a lot of effort into learning to spit very well. His spit hit Naiman in the eyes and created just enough of a surprise for him to twist and roll away.
Naiman furiously wiped his eyes, while taking a defensive stance. Beowulf regained his feet on the edge of the clearing. He scanned the clearing for weapons, or means of escape. His knife was behind Naiman. Louie-Louie’s branch had been flung off in the bushes. All three of the Louis’ lay where they had fallen. He shrugged,
‘Not even a rock,’ he observed.
‘This time,’ hissed Naiman, ‘you will die.’
He advanced cautiously with his knife ready.
‘If you run, you will die. If you stand, you will die. If you fight me you will die.’
‘Not really what you’d call a multiplicity of ideas is it?’ asked Beowulf, who had noticed something; there was movement in the bushes behind Naiman, ‘it’s just a lot of “yadda-yadda-yadda- you-will-die, you-will-die!” I want to be properly menaced!’
‘You won’t trick me this time,’ growled Naiman.
‘Why not? I did all the other times,’ Beowulf pointed into the forest, ‘Behind you!’
‘Really?’ sneered Naiman, ‘You really think I might fall for that?’
‘Nah,’ said Beowulf cheerfully, as Amarilla cracked the assassin on the head, using the stick that Louie-Louie had thrown into the bushes.
‘I don’t believe it!’ he said, and collapsed.