Smoked

  The sun slowly settled behind some woods that came down almost to the beach.? The horizon lit up in red and oranges.? They had both taken off their shoes, and were walking barefoot in the cold white sand. ?The wind made Pamela's face bright red.?

  It was a day like none other.

  To Cruz, this was what retirement might mean.? A long walk at sunset along a beach with a pretty girl.? Maybe this pretty girl.?

  His mind reviewed backward, thinking of all the girls - all the whores, essentially.? His work had made it hard.? No, it wasn't his work.? It was him.? It was him that made the work possible.? He had distrusted women from his earliest days.? He had feared them.? And still, he had lusted for them.? What was the easy way out of the dilemma?? To hire them for a night or two, pay them, and never see them again.

  What he had missed!

  He had been with this, this girl now, and even though it was only once, only today, and he had known her only since yesterday, already it was different.?

  "What are you going to do?" he heard her say now.

  He shrugged.? "Walk along here some more, go back to the hotel, have a nice dinner in the room, and then think about it."

  "Okay."

  They had driven out here in Pamela's car, finding a very expensive hotel along the beach just a short walk from here.? The Ocean House Hotel.? So they had taken a suite.? He couldn't trust what would happen at the other place in town once the dark came in.? Eventually, Moss would come to check his room.? A showdown with Moss - well, he didn't want Pamela to be anywhere near it when it happened.?

  It occurred to him that this might be his last night on earth.

  No!? Not now.? Perhaps for the first time, Cruz felt himself clinging to life and its possibilities.? This was no way to be.? This was what made people afraid.???

  He sighed.? All he could do was put it out of his mind until tonight.

  They sat on the beach near the bottom of a sandy path between high hedges.? The path led back to the hotel.? The suite was perfect.? They had a balcony overlooking the dunes, the waving sea grass, and the water.? You could hear the waves crashing from there, and Cruz imagined sleeping with that door open, the sound coming through all night long.? Of course, it wouldn't happen, not tonight, maybe not ever.? The balcony itself was a lapse in security, but no one knew they were here, and Cruz would go back to the city to fight his battles.? Pamela could stay out here at the hotel and be no part of that.

  The hotel had a fine dining room, but Cruz imagined they would order from room service instead.? Maybe he would order a drink with dinner.? A bottle of wine, perhaps?? Sure.? The thought came again: after all, this was his last night on earth.

  Amazing to think that.? For a long time, Cruz had gone in to these situations with total confidence, total belief that he would come out alive and on top.? But tonight?? He didn't know.? Moss was so big, so strong, so young, and took real delight in killing.? Cruz had seen that when he shot the fat guy in the parking lot.? Moss had been almost absurdly pleased.? It could be that Moss was better suited for this, that Moss was the better man.?

  Cruz was getting old.

  They could run.? They could have dinner, make love again, sleep for a few hours, then before first light get in her little car and run.? But where would they go?? Cruz had less than a thousand dollars in cash on him.? He had money, sure, a few hundred thousand.? But most of that money was spread out in safe deposit boxes - a few in New York, one in San Francisco, one in L.A., one in Detroit, one in Miami.? Did they know where he kept his money?? He thought maybe they did.? If he drove from here up to Canada, then crossed the continent, and slipped back in the country on the west coast, how could he be sure they wouldn't have someone waiting for him when he pulled up to his bank in San Francisco?? He couldn't be sure.???

  He had credit cards, he had a checking account.? But they left a paper trail.? Anybody could find him like that.? Pamela probably had a little money, but they knew her name by now.? No, it was no good.? Even if he was able to get his all money out of the bank, even if he could do that and disappear, the day would come when it ran out.? Worse, the day would come when he came into his home and found Roland Moss waiting for him with a couple other guys - and there were guys in this business who were worse than Roland Moss.? Cruz knew.? He used to be one of them.

  No.? He would go tonight to find Smoke Dugan.? And he would try to convince Dugan to split the $2.5 mil he had taken.? Moss would find them - of course he would.? And Cruz and Moss would finish their business with each other.?

  He tried to imagine it the way he wanted it to go.? No hesitation.? No remorse.? As soon as you see him, kill him.? He couldn't really picture it somehow.? Earlier, the fat man had been shooting at them, and still Cruz couldn't take him out.? He was done killing, it seemed.? It didn't bode well for the meeting with Moss.?

  It didn't bode well for any future meetings.

  The last red rays of the sun were disappearing behind the trees.

  "What do you say, Pamela?? Do you want to head back to the room?? Maybe order up some dinner?"

  She smiled, but he could see the pain in it.? "Sure."??

  ?

  * * *

  ??

  "They said you stole a lot of money.? Did you?"

  "I took it as a payment."

  "Do you still have it?"

  "In a manner of speaking, yes."? Smoke sat in the chair facing her.? He had spent most of the afternoon telling her his story, the relevant parts, filling in gaps in his history that he had paved right over in the year they had been together.? The sun had gone down outside their window on the re-telling of his story.???

  She had taken it in stride.? She didn't blame him for the deaths on that airplane - on the contrary, she sympathized with him.? He had been used, she said.? She even sympathized that he had killed Roselli.? He had never murdered anyone like he had done to Roselli.? If the airplane had never happened, then Smoke Dugan would have never murdered anyone.?

  Very surprising to Smoke, however, was her story of recent days.? He knew she was a fit girl.? He knew she had taken all this karate and had these black belts, but he had never put much credence in that sort of thing.? It was a straight-world hobby, and to Smoke, a hobby was? well, a hobby.? Kind of like roller-skating.?

  "So these men were? pornographers?"

  "Yeah, and what they did was trick girls into being in these pictures."

  "Jesus, Lola."

  "So I made a mistake.? It seems like a pretty common mistake."

  "And you could have been hurt."

  She smiled.? "And that's exactly my point.? I wasn't hurt.? Not at all.? I kicked their tails.? And when the time came, I kicked your big man Moss's ass, too."

  Smoke had some trouble swallowing that one.

  "I'm like, I'm like a ninja, Smoke."

  Smoke raised an eyebrow.?

  "That's what I'm realizing about myself.? Even when they had me tied down in the bed, before Hal rescued me and his friend was killed, I felt calm.? I felt like I could handle anything that happened.? Which is why I say it should be me who goes up to the apartment tonight."

  It was a bone of contention between them.? Smoke was of a mind that Pamela was likely dead by now.? Lola was of a mind that she was still alive.? Smoke was willing to go along with that premise, and the premise that they should rescue her.? But going to the police was out of the question - Smoke couldn't afford to be arrested because he wouldn't last long once his old friends knew he was in custody.? And anyway, the presence of cops would mean that if they hadn't killed Pamela yet, they sure would now.

  So it was up to them to save Pamela.

  And Lola though that meant it was up to her.

  "Look Smoke, it's got to be me.? I'm younger than you are.? I'm faster than you are.? I'm stronger than you are.? I kick high and hard.? And I'm darker.? At night, I'm going to blend in better.? And they don't want me, anyway.? They proved that already.? When they had me, they just looked for a way to trade me in for y
ou."

  "I should go with you," he said.

  She shook her head and the curls bounced.? "No.? You'll only slow me down.? I'll be up those stairs, in the apartment, and back out again in five minutes or less."

  He hated it.? It terrified him.? It made him feel weak.?

  But she was right.? In every way, she was better suited for this sort of thing than he.

  "And then what?? What if there's no sign of her?"

  Lola shook her head again.? "I don't know."

  They stared at each other for a long minute.?

  "I guess we wait another day," she said, "then go back again tomorrow night.? If there's still nothing, I guess we take your money and run."

  ?

  * * *

  ?

  They lay together on tangled sheets.

  Cruz opened his eyes and only then became aware that he had slept.? He glanced at Pamela, her eyes closed, her stomach rising softly.? She wore only a white tank undershirt of his, which she must have pulled on while he was asleep.???

  The sliding glass door was still open, and Cruz could hear the waves pounding.? He wanted to hear that sound forever.? The breeze coming through the screen had turned cold, and he pulled up the blanket to cover them both.? Across the way, on the table lay the ruins of the meal they had ordered from room service, including the bottle of red wine they had finished.?

  His head was floating from the food, the wine and from Pamela's heat.? This time had been different, wilder, more about physical needs.? He thought about that and it made him hunger for her again.

  The digital clock on the desk said 8:13.?

  Cruz sighed and reached across for his jacket, which hung on the chair. ?He searched the inside pocket, and found what he was looking for: a pair of stainless steel, chain-link handcuffs.? These were the very same cuffs Pamela had worn last night and earlier today.? He opened one of the cuffs, gently took Pamela's wrist, and cuffed her to the bed post.? He made it tight enough that she couldn't slip out.? She would find it uncomfortable, but probably not painful.?

  He stood, closed the glass door to the balcony, and pulled the curtain shut.? The breeze on his naked skin had given him gooseflesh.? Then he turned on the lamp on the desk.? He turned it to its lowest setting.

  Her eyes opened a moment later.???

  "Cruz?"??

  "Hi Pamela."

  It took a few seconds before she noticed she was cuffed to the bed.? She pulled on it but she was going nowhere.? "Cruz, hey!? What are you doing?"

  Cruz pulled the telephone out of the wall, and picked it up off the desk.? He walked it over to the other side of the room and deposited it on the dresser.?

  "Pamela, I made a decision.? It's too dangerous.? You can't come tonight."

  "Cruz!? Let me go!"

  "Sorry, I can't do it.? Moss is going to show up.? Somehow, some way, he's going to show up.? You know that.? And when he does, he's going to shoot first and not bother with any questions.? I can't have you there."

  He dug into her jacket pocket and took out the keys to her car.? "Listen, I'm going to borrow your car, okay?? But I'm going to bring it back.? If I hurt it, I'll pay for it."

  "Cruz!? I'm gonna scream.? I'm gonna scream for help."

  He smiled.? "Don't scream.? If you try to scream, then I'm going to have to tie both your hands and put a gag in your mouth.? You don't want me to do that, and I don't want to do it."

  He began walking around the room, getting dressed and ready while she watched him from the bed.

  "But I can help you."

  "No you can't.? You'll only get in the way, and I'll spend the whole time worrying that you're going to get killed.? I won't be able to act naturally if you're around, and that'll get us both in hot water."

  He reached into his jacket pocket.? Moss's gun was in there.? He took it out and looked at it.? He wouldn't need it.? He never went in for that opinion some guys had, that you went on a job strapped to the gills.? It was plain stupid, how many guns some guys brought to the show.? Cruz carried the one Glock, semiautomatic, well-maintained, nine shots in the clip, two extra clips in his inside pocket, plus a knife taped to his waist.? If you couldn't get the job done with twenty-seven rounds and a knife, then you were in the wrong business.?

  Indeed.? He only carried the extra clips out of long habit.? He had never changed clips in the middle of a job.?

  So what to do with Moss's gun??

  Simple.? Give it to Pamela.

  "Pamela?" he said.? He walked over to where she lay on the bed, staring at her cuffed hand and sulking.? He sat down next to her.? "I want to leave this with you.? Have you ever fired a gun before?"

  She looked at it like it was a poisonous snake.? Cruz guessed that was exactly what it was.? "What do I need it for?" Pamela said.?

  He shrugged.? "You probably don't.? Probably, nothing's going to happen.? But I might be gone a long time, and you're going to be by yourself.? It might make you feel better.? Here, take it."

  She accepted it in her hand.? She was uncertain, and the gun was big in her small hand.

  "What do I do?"

  Cruz pulled the slide back and chambered a round.

  "Okay, there's a bullet in the chamber.? All you have to do is pull the trigger - the bullets will chamber automatically now.? So, if you fire once, you can just keep firing, you see?? Now, you see this lever?? That's the safety.? Right now, it's on, which means you can't pull the trigger.? But if you push it here?" he did so, "the safety is off and you can shoot."

  "How should I leave it?"

  Cruz thought about that.? If there were a reason to have gun in hand, Cruz would never risk having the safety on.? The second it took to flick it off, even knowing exactly where it was, even having it as second nature, might be a second too long.? But still, it was unlikely anybody was coming here.? And she might hurt herself with the safety off.

  "Will you remember about the safety?"

  She thought about it.? "Yes, I'll remember."

  "Then you should leave the safety on.? If you hear any suspicious noises, or you get scared, you can take the safety off.? How's that sound?"

  She sighted down the barrel, like she must have seen on TV and in the movies a thousand times or more.? It looked sort of comical, what with the big gun that Moss had carried and the small hand that Pamela had.?

  "Okay," she said.?

  "Okay, then there's the remote control if you want to watch some TV or whatever.? If the morning comes around, and I haven't come back, then hide the gun under the mattress and start screaming.? In a little while, somebody'll come along and let you out of here.? Tell them that I forced you to do everything.? If the cops have me, that's what I'm going to say."

  Cruz stood, and when he next looked at her, the barrel of the gun was pointed at his face.? Her eyes were behind the barrel, squinting down at him.

  "Okay Cruz, now come on over here and take these cuffs off me.? Slowly.? Right now."

  Cruz shook his head.? He came over and kissed her on the cheek.? "Stop fooling around.? I gotta go."

  As he walked across the room, the gun was still sighted on him.

  "Cruz!"

  "Wish me luck," he said, and went out.

  ?

  * * *???

  ?

  Brian Knox pulled up to the dairy bar on Route 77 in Cape Elizabeth.? He let the little Volkswagen drive on without him through the fog and dark toward Portland.? As Knox got out of the car, his stomach itched more than ever.?

  Every time, it seemed to Knox that it was he in some deserted place with all this fog rolling around.? The dairy bar was closed for the season.? There were no cars out here in the dirt parking lot.? Through the windows, he could make out the vague shapes of picnic benches that sat out here in the parking lot all summer, piled up inside for the winter.

  A car passed on the road, its headlights looming up out of the fog.? It made a strangely flat sound as it passed, as if the fog damped the acoustics.

  Knox walked
to the pay phone.?

  Everything was closed, there was nobody around, but at least the pay phone still worked.? That was the thing about Maine - it was one of the last places in the country where you could still find a pay phone that worked.?

  Knox shoveled some quarters in.?

  A woman's voice came on the line.? "The number you're calling has changed.? Hang up and somebody will call you back in a little while."

  "How long?"

  "I don't know, sir.? A little while."

  Knox hung up.? He stared out into the swirling mist.? He thought about getting back in the car, maybe listening to the radio for a while.? He thought about maybe moving to Florida, the west coast, anywhere really.?

  Somewhere nearby, a buoy clanged out on the water, its bell ringing as the waves knocked it around.???

  The phone rang.

  Knox picked it up.

  "Yeah?" the gravel voice said.?

  "I saw a friend of yours today.? Saw him in Portland, then I saw him out here in Cape Elizabeth.? He checked into the Ocean House Hotel.? Nice place.? Route 77, right on the water.? He went there with a friend of his, a young woman named Pamela Gray.? They checked in under her name.? Room 215.? Had some room service sent up."

  "He still there?"

  "Nope.? He just headed back into Portland, driving a Volkswagen.? Black.? Maine plates.? He's alone."

  "Where's the girl?"

  "Looks like he left her at the hotel."

  "Looks like?"

  "He left her there."

  There was a pause.? "Okay, kid.? Good work.? Do me a favor, eh?? Keep your eyes open a little while longer.? Look sharp.? Drop me another line tomorrow.? You're a good kid.? We don't get too many good kids in this business anymore."

  The line went dead.?

  ??

  * * *

  ??

  "Remember this jungle bunny, this boxer Mike Tyson?" Sticks said.? He was standing in the middle of the living room in Moss's suite, holding court.? He had a bottle of Budweiser in his hand.? "This guy used to go around saying he was the baddest man on the planet or some shit.? Then he'd go out and beat up some geek in a parking lot.? It's too bad he's such a chump now, because you know what I used to think about it?? I used to think, man, I wish I could run into that fucker some night after hours.? Just me and him.? Jesus, what a pleasure that would be."