Hidden in the Heart: An LDS Novel

  Chapter 16, Jill

  “Jill. Yes, that’s my wife.”

  “She’s beautiful.”

  “So are you.”

  Cathee felt a blush steal over her cheeks. “But not like her.”

  Garrett turned her to him. “There are different kinds of beauty, Cathee. They can be appreciated in different ways. Different doesn’t mean better.”

  She wound her arms around his solid frame. “I didn’t understand. I think I do now.” She looked up into his tender eyes. “You really do love me...us? Don’t you?”

  Unsure of whether she meant her and Jill or her and Christina, he realized it didn’t matter. He truly did love them all – differently. “Yes. I do.”

  Suddenly, Cathee pulled back. “Juan found us.”

  Garrett’s face went white. “That’s what you said. I’ve been worried sick since you left Topeka. I spent the next three days doing sessions in the Winter Quarters Temple.”

  She reached up to stroke his cheek. “I’m so sorry I left. I couldn’t piece myself together.”

  “You don’t know how hard it was watching you leave.” His chin quivered, and she could see some of the pain he’d been through. “It was harder than watching Jill die.”

  “I’m so sorry, Garrett.” Her eyes were pleading. She paused a moment, trying to read his face, then continued quietly. “What happened to her? Do you want to talk about it?”

  He led her to the couch next to the window Christina was looking out of and stared at the rivulets of water running down the window for a moment. “It was October 19.”

  Cathee let out a small gasp. He stopped and glanced at her, then went on. “We had just found out she was expecting. We’d planned the date for the baby’s arrival. The baby was due in July.” Cathee thought back to when he’d gone white at the pool and suddenly realized why Christina’s birth month had affected him like that. He pressed his lips together to keep them from trembling. “She called me at work saying she was in a lot of pain and was bleeding. I raced home and took her to the hospital, but it was too late. She had lost too much blood by the time I got her there.” He rested his head in his hands a moment, then lifted it to look at her. “It was a tubal pregnancy. My child had killed her.”

  “Oh, Garrett. I’m so sorry.” She apologized again, then threw her arms around his neck. “I was so cruel. I didn’t know.”

  She dropped her arms and stared at her hands a moment, then looked up at him. “I...I don’t know how to say this, so I hope it comes out right.” She paused, a pleading look in her eyes. “I don’t know how or why, but I somehow feel we were meant to be together.”

  “I felt that the moment I first saw you, but why are you saying it?”

  “Remember the story of Job?”

  He nodded, curiosity lighting his eyes.

  “Remember after all his trials, he was given double back?”

  “I remember.”

  “He had several children who died and then he had the same number again.”

  “I remember that.”

  “Christina...” Her daughter looked up at the mention of her name, then turned her attention back to the storm. “was conceived on October 19.”

  They cried together then. They cried for their losses, but they also cried with joy. They knew their coming together had a divine hand. Like Job, they had endured their trials. Garrett touched her cheek lightly. “Truly, I am blessed.” He paused, tenderness filling his eyes, “Cathee, will you marry me?”

  They were interrupted by Garrett’s phone. He picked it up on the second ring. “Hello?”

  “Hello. Is this Garrett Andrews?”

  “It is.”

  “I just wanted to let you know we found the SUV Juan Ortiz had stolen. It had missed a curve on the north I-135 entrance just off 13th Street. Juan was inside.”

  “Is he in custody?”

  “He’s dead.”

  Garrett shut his eyes, the sense of overwhelming relief almost more than he could bear. “Thanks. I appreciate the call.”

  As he hung up the phone, Cathee asked, “Juan?”

  “He died. A one-vehicle roll-over accident near the north I-135 freeway entrance near 13th Street.”

  Horror filled her voice. “That was the entrance I took.” She put her hand at the base of her throat. “I thought I saw him.” She trembled. “He was so close!”

  Garrett reached out tentatively to touch her arm. “I was so afraid for you. I fasted and prayed for your safety this week.”

  “I felt your prayers. Truly, I did.”

  He leaned over and kissed her softly. Sweet and tender like their first kiss. Cathee wrapped her arms around his neck and drank his kisses in. Christina walked over and pulled on Cathee’s shirt. “Mommy. You’re crying again.”

  She half laughed and half cried. “I know, Sweetie. I’m just happy.” She looked up at Garrett. “He wants to be your daddy. Would you like that?” She knew she would never have to worry about how much Garrett loved her daughter. She looked just like the daughter who had never been born to him and Jill.

  Christina clapped her hands with delight. “I get to have a daddy? That’s way awesome.”

  Cathee stared at her in surprise. She’d never realized Christina had ever missed having a father.

  She turned back to Garrett. “I’d be honored to be your wife.”

  “When did you want to get married?”

  She stared up at the picture of him and Jill. “October 19.”

  His brows furrowed. “Why that date?”

  “I want to replace my – our nightmare with a fairy tale.”

  He nodded. “We’ll call my parents later today.”

  A peal of thunder shook the house. The wind roared around it. The house had withstood a hundred summers of tornado weather. She had no doubt it could survive another.

  “Let’s get downstairs where it’s safe.” They gathered up their bags and moved down into the basement where Garrett had a futon made up for them. His bedding was on a couch pushed against the wall.

  It was after 6 a.m., and Christina was obviously exhausted. She climbed on the futon and was soon fast asleep.

  Garrett and Cathee were too wound up for sleep. Garrett pushed the sleeping bag off the couch. They sat down together, watching the steady rise and fall of Christina’s chest.

  “Where did you want to get married?”

  Cathee wound her arms around Garrett’s neck and reached up to kiss his cheek. “I was thinking the Nauvoo Temple, if that’s alright with you?” Her eyes were hesitant, searching his face for any sign of disapproval.

  He leaned over and kissed the top of her head, then reached to caress her cheek. “Wherever you want, as long as it’s the temple.” He paused to move a stray curl off her face. “Why Nauvoo?”

  “When I was young, Mom and Dad took me to Nauvoo. When we were in the visitors’ center, Mom pulled me over to see the temple display. ‘Cathee,’ she said, ‘My parents brought me to Nauvoo when the temple lot was just a grassy indentation where the temple used to stand. There was such a sad feeling there. A feeling of deep loss. I can’t really explain how excited I was when President Hinckley announced the Nauvoo Temple was going to be rebuilt. When we came to attend the dedication, I rejoiced. The empty sadness of the place was no more. I’m not sure you can understand, but there is power in restoring what was lost.’”

  Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked up to catch Garrett’s gaze. “We have both had deep loss in our lives, Garrett, and I want the Nauvoo Temple restoration to symbolize our own lives.” She paused a moment to stare at her sleeping daughter, then caught his eyes again. “It’s time for joy to replace the sadness, and I can’t think of a better place for our eternal marriage to begin.”

  His eyes danced. “My thoughts, exactly.”