Pulse

Page 75

Jude stood and made his way inside. Gavin assumed he was attempting to go check on Olivia. Gavin draped his arm over Emily’s chair. “No, we didn’t insult them. They just have weak stomachs. ”

Emily started piling cucumber salad onto her plate. “Mmm hmm. I’m not even going to ask. ”

“Good. You’re better off, Em. ” Trevor took a swig from his beer and pushed his empty plate away. “So what’s the deal? You two have a name for the little one?”

Emily looked at Gavin. “We do. ”

“Noah,” Gavin answered, trying to keep his mind from straying to unwanted thoughts of him not being his son. “Noah Alexander. ”

Trevor nodded. “Good name. ”

“Yeah, it is. ” Emily gave Gavin a weak smile, knowing his head was stuck in battle again. With a sigh, she turned to Trevor. “So, Fallon said you two are moving in together. ”

Trevor beamed. “Yep. She insisted. ”

Emily raised an incredulous brow. “I heard it was the other way around. ”

Gavin chuckled and shook his head. “She told us all about it the other day. The roses. The dinner with the nervous speech. ”

“Okay. You caught me. ” Trevor finished off the rest of his beer. “Like you’re any better with Emily, you sap. Forget about speeches. Yours are infamous. ”

“Ah. They are, and I’m worse. ” Gavin smirked. “But you’ll never catch me denying it, and my sappiness gains me swoon-worthy points. ”

Emily giggled.

“Dude. You’re done for. Swoon worthy?”

“You got it, bro. I’m as swoon worthy as they come. ” Gavin massaged his fingers through Emily’s hair. “Tell him, sweets. ”

Emily dropped her fork onto her plate and dropped herself into Gavin’s lap. She curled her arms around his neck and smiled. “He’s the king of swoon, Trevor. You really should take some pointers. ”

Trevor stood, stretching his long arms. “I’m out. You two are scaring me in more ways than one. ” He swiped his plate from the table and made his way into the house.

“Mmm, we scared him away,” Gavin whispered, brushing his lightly stubbled jaw against Emily’s cheek. “We’re bad, huh?”

A sultry smile touched Emily’s lips. “So very bad. ”

After indulging in a few stolen moments with the only woman he wanted to consider him swoon worthy, Gavin watched Emily disappear inside to help his mother prepare some desserts. It triggered an upsurge of relief. The past couple of weeks, the two had become close, and that’s all Gavin wanted to see. As he enjoyed the sounds of his niece and nephew playing tag, Gavin was glad he’d cut this year’s party down to close friends and family. With the sun getting ready to retire for the day, he took a seat around the fire pit alongside his father and Colton.

“Thanks, Pop,” Gavin said, accepting a beer from his father. “Today turned out good. ”

“It sure did. ” Chad relaxed in his seat, his eyes landing on Gavin’s. “The older you get, you’ll start to notice the chaos of a big to-do party loses its glitz. This is what it’s all about. ”

Gavin knew his father was correct. Somewhere between becoming successful with Blake Industries and playing the tiresome field with women, Gavin lost touch with what really mattered. Not that he hadn’t held family close to his heart—it was impossible not to considering his parents raised him to treasure it—but the importance of what really counted in life became skewed.

“So how are you holding up?” Colton questioned. “Mom said you and Emily went for a blood paternity test a few days ago. ”

As Gavin swept his gaze to the house, where he could see Emily through the kitchen window, Gavin knew he wasn’t doing well. Sure. He’d told Emily he wouldn’t give up hope Noah was his son, but as the answer neared, he found it more difficult to hold onto optimism. Gavin shrugged, taking a gulp of beer. “I’m dealing. ”

“There’s a reason behind everything, son,” Chad sighed, clapping Gavin’s shoulder. “Just remember that. ”

“Yeah, Pop? What would be the reason if it’s not my kid?” Gavin hated questioning anything his father said, but Gavin couldn’t find a string of sense if this outcome was about to mind-fuck him. The despondency in his father’s eyes made Gavin feel like an asshole. “I’m sorry,” Gavin somberly admitted, trying not to lose the faith his father had always attempted to instill in him. “I told Emily at the beginning of this we’d go through it scared together. I said that mostly to calm her down, but hell if this isn’t killing me. The thought of having that asshole involved in her or the baby’s life is fucking with me bad. ”

Gavin dragged a hand through his hair, his nerves kicking up with every evil whisper in his mind. Gavin shook his head. “He’s calmed down a bit in the past couple of months, but I’m assuming that’s because I’ve kept him in place. If he’s this baby’s father, it’ll go right to his head, and he’ll take it to a whole new level. The asshole let us know he’s moving to Florida a few months after the baby’s born. Emily’s a mess over it. I’m going to fall in love with this kid and have to watch Dillon take him over the summer and holidays. It’ll break us both. ”

With his hand still on Gavin’s shoulder, Chad looked at Colton who was staring wordlessly at his brother. Bringing his eyes back to his son, Chad shook his head. His voice was soft but resolute. “Gavin, you’re a strong man. You’ve always been. The first time I held you, you told me with your eyes you were going to make your mark in this world, and shit, son, you have. You’ve made your mother and me proud. I know you may feel that strength you were born with slipping from your grasp, but you have it in you to not let it go. Find it again. It’s there. As a man and as a father to this child, whether yours biologically or not, you’ll do whatever it takes to keep you and Emily from breaking. You’re the man who’s going to turn this child into a man. You and Emily need one another and you may need one another more than ever after this. But whatever you do, never question the decisions the heavens make for us. Again, there’s a reason behind everything. All that matters is what you do with those decisions. You can let them break you or mold you. ”

With the words he needed to hear soaking through his mind, Gavin glanced toward the house. Watching his mother and Emily step from the porch, he tried to focus on what his father had said, but as the stars started to blanket the sky, he feared that until he had those results in hand, here and now, he wouldn’t be able to find the strength he needed to walk them through this. As doubt plagued every muscle in his body, Gavin stood and made his was over to Emily. Forcing a smile, he gently pulled her into his arms. He felt as if he was failing. A man who’d continue to fail if Noah wasn’t his.

“Hey,” she said, smiling. “Everyone’s heading down to the beach to light off the fireworks. I didn’t realize it’d gotten so chilly out here. I’m gonna run back inside and grab my jacket. Do you need anything?”

Gavin didn’t answer. No. Instead, he bent his head, crushing his lips to hers. Ashamed and riddled with guilt for masking his feelings, he kissed her hard, burying his hands in her soft curls. He wondered if Emily could taste the fear on his tongue or if she could feel the uncertainty in his hold. He didn’t know how long they stood wrapped in one another’s arms, but in that moment, he wished he could stop time. Stop it from moving forward to a wicked place where he wouldn’t be able to take care of her.