Bring Me Home

  has just finished drying on the concrete below us. We should get back to the car before we get soaked.

  I stand up and Chris does the same. “I want to go back to the hotel and sleep on it. The wedding isn’t until midnight on Tuesday. That’s over two days away. We can catch a flight tomorrow night instead of tomorrow morning, if I do decide to see him in the morning. Is that okay?”

  I can’t decide if he looks disappointed or worried. “Like I said, we’ll do whatever you want. As long as we’re back in Vegas by Tuesday morning, Rachel will just have to deal with it.”

  “Oh, that’s right. She wants to have brunch with your mom and me tomorrow,” I say as I sneak closer to him. “Well, Senia’s not getting there until Tuesday morning, so it’s not like I’m going to be the last one there.”

  “She’ll get over it.”

  “You look worried. Are you that afraid of Rachel?”

  He grabs my face and his hands are warm despite how cold it is out here. “I always worry about you. I just want you to be happy.”

  He kisses my cheekbone so softly that it tickles and I grin stupidly. He smiles and my breath catches in my chest.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I whisper and he chuckles. “Really, you are. Sometimes, I watch you sleep.”

  “I know.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Yes, I do. And I caught you feeling me up the other night.”

  “Shut up.”

  “Oh, right. That was me who was feeling you up. Sorry.”

  I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and squeeze him as hard as I can. “Take me home.”

  “To the hotel?”

  “I don’t care, just take me with you.”

  He lifts me off the ground and tilts his head back so he can look me in the eye. “What are you going to do when I’m gone?”

  “Wherever you go, I go.”

  We walk Jackie to her hotel room even though she insists she doesn’t need us to escort her. It’s weird that I’ve known Joel less than a week, but I already find myself wishing he were here to keep her company. It may be too soon to say this, but Joel may be the missing piece our family has been waiting for.

  After we shower and Chris texts his assistant to change the time of our flight, we settle down in bed. The hotel room is too cold for me, but Chris always complains about how hot he gets when I’m snuggled up next to him. It doesn’t bother me one bit. I spent more than a year craving his body next to mine. I’m never letting go again.

  “Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you had come on tour with me?” he asks.

  I trace my finger lightly over his chest in a figure-eight pattern as I contemplate this question. “I thought about it almost every day.”

  “Do you think you’ll go on tour with me this summer?”

  The uncertainty in his voice kills me and I can’t keep this secret any longer. “Chris, I’ll go on tour with you tomorrow, if that’s what you want. I changed my classes for next semester. I’m taking all my classes online.”

  He sits up suddenly and, even through the darkness, I can see the incredulous look on his face. “You can’t do that.”

  “Yes, I can. And don’t tell me I can’t.” I sit up so I can look him in the eye. “Do you have any idea what it feels like knowing that one of the reasons I gave up Abigail was so that you wouldn’t have to give up your career and here we are without Abigail and you on the verge of giving everything up? Have you any clue how that makes me feel? I feel like a failure. I failed her and you.”

  “Don’t say that. Don’t even think that.”

  “I can’t help thinking it. This is the only way to stop feeling like it was all in vain. Please let me do this.”

  “Fuck,” he whispers as he shakes his head. “I don’t feel good about this.”

  “But I do.”

  I reach for his face and he kisses the palm of my hand. “How did I get so fucking lucky? I don’t feel like I deserve this.”

  “When I told Dr. Goldberg that I wanted to do this, he laughed. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that man laugh.”

  “Why did he laugh?”

  “I couldn’t figure out why he kept cheering us on. Every time I told him I was moving forward with you, I kept expecting him to tell me to slow down, that I’m not ready.” I sigh as I think of Goldberg’s words. “He told me his wife, the one who died eight years ago, was his first love. And she got sick before they had children. He said that if he could go back and change one thing in his life, he would have given up his practice before she got sick so they could have enjoyed the time they had together while she was healthy.” I grab his face so he knows how serious I am. “I don’t want to let time get away from us. I can study from anywhere in the world. I don’t need to stay here. The only reason I went to UNC was because of the scholarship. But I talked to my advisor and I can still use the scholarship for the online classes.”

  “You don’t even need the scholarship. You should donate it to someone else who needs it.”

  “Is that a yes?”

  He pulls my hands off his face and smiles. “How could I ever say no to you?”

  I throw my arms around his neck as I climb into his lap. “I’m so happy.”

  He nuzzles his face in my neck and the softness of his lips against my skin comforts me. His hands slide under my T-shirt and glide over my skin. His erection grows beneath me, feeding my hunger for him.

  “Did you start?” he whispers as he kisses his way up my neck to the back of my ear.

  “Start what?”

  “Your period.”

  “Oh, shit.”

  He pulls away and he’s smiling even though he looks confused. “How late are you?”

  I think for a moment. “Five days.”

  He lifts me up off his lap and sets me on the bed. “I have to make a phone call.”

  “Who are you calling?”

  “Concierge.”

  An hour later, a very embarrassed bellhop brings up an unmarked brown paper bag containing three different brands of pregnancy tests and two large bottles of water. Chris tips him well before we race to the bathroom.

  “You can’t be in here,” I insist as I twist open the cap on the first bottle of water then guzzle it down.

  “Let me read the instructions, to make sure you do it right.”

  “You are not going to watch me piss on a stick!”

  “Just let me read the instructions.”

  He reads all the instructions for each test and quizzes me until he’s satisfied I know what I’m doing.

  “You’re such a pain in the ass,” I say as I push him out of the restroom.

  “I want to have sex tonight. I’d love to do it without a condom.”

  “Get out. I have to pee.”

  I can hear him laughing as I close the door behind him. Luckily, I drank enough water to supply all three tests with the right amount of fluid. After I wash up, I unlock the door and let Chris inside.

  “All three tests in one shot? That’s talent.”

  “I’m nervous.”

  I sit on the toilet and Chris kneels before me. “Why? Are you afraid of being pregnant?”

  “I’m nervous that it’s going to say I’m not pregnant and then what? Maybe I haven’t gotten my period because something is wrong with me? What if I have a tumor or something?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he insists.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do.” The look in his eyes is almost daring me to challenge him on this.

  “How long has it been?” I ask.

  “Let me check.” He stands up and grabs the first test off the counter while I watch his face anxiously for a sign. He’s serious as he picks up the second and third tests. Then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. The silence kills me. Then a tear rolls down his cheek and I feel as if I might be sick.

  “We’re having a baby,” he whispers.

  I shoot to my feet so I can
get a better look at the results. “Really?”

  He opens his eyes to look at me and I haven’t seen Chris cry since his grandfather died three years ago. Just the sight of it takes my breath away. I grab his face and lean my forehead against his as I attempt to catch my breath.

  “I didn’t think it would feel like this,” he whispers.

  “Like what?”

  “Like the happiest day of my life.”

  I kiss his cheek and lick the moisture from my lips before I crush my mouth to his. “I love you so much.”

  He lifts me off the floor and I wrap my legs around his hips. “I love your heart,” he whispers as he kisses my neck and carries me to the bed. He lies me down and the ravenous look in his eyes makes my entire body pulse with desire. “But your body is a close second to your heart.”

  He lies on the bed next to me and his hand slides into my panties. His fingers glide into me as his mouth covers mine, swallowing my whimpers. He pulls his hand out of my panties, and I’m about to protest when he grabs my panties and yanks them down roughly, leaving a burning trail on my skin. I bite my lip as he tosses them on the floor. I reach for his boxers, but he pushes my hand away.

  “Just because we can have sex without protection, doesn’t mean we don’t have to take our time.”

  I smile uncontrollably as he sits up on his knees between my legs. He rubs my clit gently with his thumb then lifts his thumb to his mouth and sucks it clean.

  “I’m addicted to that flavor.”

  He grabs my hips and I squeal as he flips me over onto my stomach. He lifts my hips so my ass is in the air then he spreads my knees apart so he can lie on his back between my legs. His hands are firm on my ass as he eases me down onto his mouth. I gasp as he sucks gently on my clit.

  “Oh, God,” I breathe as I press the side of my face into the pillow.

  His tongue and his lips work in unison, stirring a fever inside me. Then his fingers plunge into me, gathering my wetness before he slowly eases his finger between my cheeks. He massages my opening and I hold my breath, unsure if I want this, but it feels too good to stop. His finger slides into me and let out the breath I’ve been holding.

  I want to cry out in both pain and pleasure, but I don’t want him to think he should stop. It’s a sensation unlike anything I’ve ever felt as he licks me at the same time as he’s massaging me from the inside. I don’t want it to end. A soft whimper escapes my throat and he slides his finger out of me.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Oh, my God, Chris. Don’t stop.”

  He laughs as he kisses the inside of my thigh then dips his finger inside me again. My thighs tremble as his tongue circles my clit and his hand works wonders until I’m so swollen with pleasure I think my entire body might explode. I turn my face into the pillow and let go a scream so loud that my ears pop. He slides his finger out of me, but he keeps the warm pressure of his mouth on me, lapping up my juices as I climax.

  My body trembles as he scoots out from beneath me and I collapse onto my belly. “Holy shit,” I whisper as he lies next to me and lightly runs his fingertips over the backs of my legs.

  “That’s only the beginning, babe.” He turns me onto my back and takes off his boxers. He begins to lie on top of me, but I push him off. “What’s wrong?”

  I quickly sit up and peel my shirt off as I climb into his lap. “I don’t want to lie down.”

  I hook one arm around his neck and reach down to grab his cock as I ease him inside me.

  His eyelids flutter as they close. I ride him gently, slowly moving up and down, savoring the delicious friction as he hits that spot deep inside me.

  “Do you think that’s safe?” he says, grabbing my hips to stop me.

  “I don’t know. Google it.” He grabs my hips to try to lift me off his lap, but I hold on tight. “I’m kidding. Of course, it’s safe.”

  “Don’t fuck with me like that. You have no idea how scared I am.”

  I cradle his face in my hands and kiss his forehead. “That’s why I love you.”

  I kiss him slowly as we rock our hips back and forth together.

  “I want to live inside you,” he whispers. I suck on his tongue as his hand slides down to find my clit. “I want you to come with me.”

  Grabbing fistfuls of his hair, I plunge my tongue into his mouth as I attempt to not scream the way I did a few minutes ago. “Faster,” I urge him.

  He groans, his fingers still caressing me as his cock twitches inside me. He continues stroking me long after he’s finished, making no move to pull out of me. I curl into him and bite his shoulder to suppress my cries as the second orgasm rolls through me.

  “Claire….”

  “Yes.”

  “I want to have three kids… at least.” I can’t help but laugh and he pinches my side. “I’m serious. And after this album, I’m not going to tour anymore until you graduate.” I open my mouth to speak, but he continues. “And I want to make little T-shirts that say, ‘My Dad Rocks.’ And I want to teach them all to play an instrument. And we’ll have some animals, like horses and chickens, and I’ll teach them to take care of the animals. And—”

  “Slow down, cowboy. We haven’t even had the first one yet. I know your sperm is quite potent, but let’s not count our chickens before they hatch.”

  He lifts me off his lap and sets me on the bed, then pushes me back so he can lie on top of me. He slides his hand behind my knee and lifts my leg onto his shoulder. He eases himself into me and I gasp.

  “Don’t tell me not to get my hopes up,” he growls as he pierces me at an agonizingly slow pace. “Hope is the only thing that has kept me going for the past year and a half.”

  “You don’t have to hope anymore. I’m yours… forever.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chris

  I wake Claire up slowly.

  I open the curtains in our room just a smidge to let in a crack of gray morning light. Then I lie next to her and wait until she can feel me watching her. I could write a song about her face; the way her top lip is fuller than her bottom lip; the tiny, barely noticeable dip on the tip of her nose; the graceful arc of her eyebrows; the crystal-blue color of her eyes. She slowly opens her eyelids and smiles when she sees my face inches away from hers.

  “Are you stalking me in my sleep again?” she says as her arms reach for me and she nuzzles her head against my neck.

  I lightly stroke her arm as she squeezes me tightly. “How do you feel?”

  “A little hungry.”

  “Do you want to order room service or do you want to go out?”

  “Call your mom and ask her what she wants to do.”

  I tilt her chin up and stare at her face for a minute. “Are we going to tell her right now?”

  “No! I think we should wait until we get back home from Vegas.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. I’m scared. What if she thinks we’re not ready or she gets really emotional?”

  “Well, I can guarantee you she’s going to get really emotional and who cares if she thinks we’re not ready. You and I know we’re ready. We’re being responsible. We’re not giving up anything to do this.”

  “I know, but I’m still scared to let anyone know before the wedding. Let’s let Rachel have her day, then we’ll tell everyone when we get back.”

  I can’t tell Claire that Rachel has been planning our wedding in Vegas since we got back together a month ago. Or that Rachel is probably more excited about our wedding than I am. She’s been coaching me on what to say and what not to say to Claire to make sure our secret stays hidden. I probably would have told Claire by now if it weren’t for the fact that I think Rachel would slowly disembowel me.

  “Yeah, let’s let Rachel have her day,” I say, trying my hardest not to grin.

  “Why are you smiling?”

  “I’m just happy we’re having a baby,” I say as I slide my arm out from underneath her neck and head for the desk phone.

 
I call my mom to join us in our room, but she insists she’ll wait for us to get showered and dressed first. After Claire and I eat a light breakfast of toast and eggs, we both shower and she allows me one last taste of her before we invite my mom up. I laugh as Claire makes the bed and she laughs as I spray the room with her perfume to cover up the smell of sex.

  My mom comes in and she glances into the trashcan before she sits on the edge of the bed. “You’re not going to shave?” she asks me pointedly.

  I scratch the scruff on my jaw and shake my head. “Claire likes it. Don’t you, babe?”

  She rolls her eyes at me as she leans against the dresser. “Rachel will probably make him shave.”

  “Rachel’s in for a surprise. Jake’s getting his first tattoo tomorrow.”

  Claire’s mouth drops. Jake isn’t a sissy, but he’s the most whipped motherfucker I know. He pretty much does whatever Rachel wants. And Rachel doesn’t like tattoos. She thinks our bodies are like sacred temples, or some shit. I’m assuming this is why Jake is so whipped. She must worship his temple often.

  “She’s going to kill him,” my mom says as she digs in her purse for something. “You should try to talk him out of it.”

  “I can’t. It was a bet between him and Tristan.”

  “What kind of tattoo is he getting?” Claire asks.

  I can’t tell her because I agreed to get the same tattoo he’s getting.

  “You’ll see.”

  “Enough talk about tattoos,” my mom says, turning to Claire. “Have you made up your mind, honey?”

  “I’m going,” Claire replies. “I want to meet my sister.”

  “What if she’s not there? What if no one’s there?”

  “We’ll wait,” I answer for Claire and she smiles.

  I get an anxious feeling inside me as I realize we’re about to meet the aunt and grandfather of my child—my children.

  I have to stop thinking of Abby like that.

  “Chris?”

  Claire is looking at me as if she knows what I’m thinking, but of course she doesn’t.

  “Yeah, let’s get going,” I say, clapping my hands together. “We have a flight to catch at five o’clock.”

  Rachel was counting on us checking into our hotel suite in Vegas by this afternoon so she could sneak into our room while we’re having dinner. The plan was for her to leave the wedding rings and Claire’s dress under the bed. Then tomorrow, my mom is supposed to come in and get them while we’re gone and take them to the wedding venue. Rachel is going to be pissed that I’m fucking with her schedule.