Planet Eve: The Tale of a Sprout

he sprouted out of the ground, Oslo looked around and yawned a humongous yawn with his little jaws, which were yet soft and unable to do much damage were you, for example, to put your finger into this future Sprout's mouth. Oslo clicked his young jaws twice and crawled out of the ground on all fours. Last of all emerged his long and slender blue tail.

  He looked up and saw the bright disc of the Big Star shining down on him and the surrounding world. Somewhere nearby in the tall grass, he could hear some kind of commotion going on: it was a fight.

  Oslo peered out of the tall grass curiously, his thin, long neck swaying in the warm summer breeze: he could see several very tall Sprouts with blue tails running after a smaller group of Asbestans and Canadians. They were all very tall and gangly, and were shouting angrily and waving their arms in the air. Soon the Asbestans and Canadians disappeared from sight beyond the crest of the next hill.

  One of the tallest Maritanian Sprouts saw Oslo peeping at them out of the tall grass. He carefully approached the young Sproutling and picked him up.

  "Look here," the Maritanian Tall Sprout said. "It must be one of them Asbestans!" And with that, he pulled his long fingers around young Oslo's neck, exerting a considerable amount of pressure. Oslo was unable to speak, and his eyes rolled out slightly from their orbits.

  "Wait!" someone cried nearby. "That's not an Asbestan! Look at his tail, it's blue!"

  "Oh, you're right!" said the Maritanian Tall Sprout, releasing his deadly grip on Oslo's thin neck. "And I almost…"

  "It's a baby Maritanian Sprout, and we should name him," said Oslo's rescuer, a short, fat Sprout with a glistening, well-disposed face.

  "Hmm. What should we call him?" pondered the Tall Sprout. "I can't think of any names at the moment."

  "We should take him with us, nevertheless," said the Short Sprout, smiling. "Who knows," he added, "maybe he is the Smart One we were expecting."

  "Yeah, right," said the Tall Sprout, and lifted little Oslo high up in the air, so that Oslo gripped onto his arm with all his arms and legs in utter fear. For, you see, even at that young age Oslo was already feverishly afraid of heights. Then the Tall Sprout put him down again at eye level and eyed him meticulously.

  "I doubt that," he said, and with that, the three of them left the mellow grassy hillside.

  Oslo's Brilliant Idea

  Years passed, and then a few more years. Oslo grew up and learned to talk. He was also taught many important and useful things by the Maritanian Sprouts who picked him up. He learned fast, and soon he was possibly one of the smartest Sprouts, Maritanian or otherwise, to have ever sprouted on Eve. Even at the relatively young age of twenty, Oslo could already read and write - an impressive feat, because most Sprouts never learned much of anything at all.

  Except for their seething hatred of everyone who was not a Maritanian, the Maritanians were alright and engaged in much the same activities as everyone else. Their primary goal, however, was to conquer the remainder of Halfpancakegea for themselves, and one day Oslo came up with his first and only brilliant idea.

  The Sprouts were sitting in a circle around a big fire. Next to them on the ground lay scattered half eaten cans of condensed sunlight and sea water. The cans of sunlight emitted a feeble glow.

  They were arguing about the best way to invade Halfpancakegea, which was slightly complicated by the fact that they were already living on it, and were surrounded by some very unfriendly neighbors. Oslo considered the situation for a moment.

  "What about the Floating Army of Ubrik?" he said.

  "What about it?" said the Tall Sprout, whose name was Evol Maurits-Sander.

  "Well, isn't it obvious?" Oslo said. "If we can get a hold of the ships, invading Halfpancakegea would be easy as pie."

  "Hmm," pondered Evol.

  "And a few of our former citizens still live on those ships," added the Short Sprout, whose name was Alphonso. "If we could only send them a message somehow…"

  Flying

  In a few days, and working in great secrecy, the Maritanian Sprouts built a small flying machine: it was designed for Oslo, because he was the youngest and smallest Sprout, and anyway, it was all his idea in the first place. Oslo tried to protest because he did not like heights, and proposed building a small boat instead, but nobody would listen to him.

  After a few failed attempts at flying, during which Oslo tumbled wildly to the ground from various heights, the Flying Machine was finally perfected. The screaming Oslo was strapped safely to the Flying Machine, and it took off a great, tall cliff, gliding gracefully over the endless ocean.

  Oslo continued to scream all the while.

  The Floating Army of Ubrik

  In several more days, Oslo was still flying far above the sparkling seas. Seagulls passed him, eyeing him and his contraption with curiosity and other mixed feelings, then dodging away into the great blue sky.

  Oslo was too exhausted to scream now. He hung limply, suspended from his restraints. Sometimes he would sing a silly song from his childhood or drift away into dreamless, wakeful sleep that did not bring rest, but rather a new clarity to the horror of his present situation.

  A few days passed like this, with no sight of land or ships below. Oslo cursed the minute he came up with the idea of recruiting the help of the Floating Army of Ubrik.

  As the Big Star began to set, Oslo began to cry most miserably. He wasn't looking at the surface of the sea, or the sky, or anything else anymore. He was sure he was going to die, forever flying above the open sea.

  Just then, a heavy and loud Honk! Honk! Honk! sounded from somewhere below. It was one of the Hotel Ships' signals, but Oslo was asleep and did not hear anything.

  "Ahoy there!" a voice cried down below.

  Suddenly a thin grappling hook shot out at the Flying Machine, and for a while, unknown to Oslo, it was flying on its line like a big winged kite. Gradually, the Flying Machine was pulled down from its great height onto the deck of the Ship. It skidded gently on the deck's surface and came to a stop.

  The Ship Sprouts quickly gathered around the Flying Machine. Among them were Asbestans, Maritanians, Connectipolians, Canadians, a few Ubriks, and many more. At first, they could not see Oslo because he was under one of the wings. The Sprout Captain lifted up the wing, revealing the small, curled up creature that was Oslo. Oslo was carried to one of the cabins and awoke only much later, at about two o'clock in the afternoon of the next day.

  When Oslo woke up, he couldn't quite understand how he got there. He opened his mouth to scream, but couldn't. All the days spent above the open sea had taken his voice completely. Then he looked around: just outside, somewhere very close by, he could hear the vast, leisurely lapping of the ocean waves. Warm light flooded into the cabin from the little round window above his head. He scratched his head and looked around with a foolish grin: he could not remember anything at all. He knew only that his name was Oslo, but as to how he got here, or where he came from, he couldn't remember a thing.

  In the late afternoon, a small and slender Sprout came into his room. It was a She-Sprout.

  "My name is Zelda," the She-Sprout said, and looked at Oslo pitifully. She had big green eyes and a beautiful tail with rings of different colors - blue, yellow, green and red.

  Oslo opened his jaws, but he couldn't speak. Instead, he went into a prolonged coughing spell that lasted for about a minute. When Oslo opened his eyes again, hoping to see the rather attractive She-Sprout named Zelda, before him stood a lean and gloomy looking Doctor, who, without saying a single word, immediately pried open his jaws and for the longest time looked directly into his mouth: Oslo was too weak to fight him off. The gloomy Doctor Sprout sighed gloomily and said, "Now say something."

  Oslo opened his jaws again, but could only manage a series of clicking and ticking sounds that were soon stifled by another coughing spell.

  "Hmm," remarked Dr. Sprout. "That is not good at all!" And with that remark, Dr. Sprout picked up his suitcase and left the room.

  With
in the next few weeks, Oslo recovered somewhat from his flight, but still could not recollect anything from his past or his real reason for being on the Ship.

  Oslo was treated very nicely by all the Ship Sprouts. He'd screamed out all his memories of reading, science and mathematics, and was now employed as a simple Ship cook in the Ship's kitchen. He was regarded as a strange, harmless simpleton who could only remember his name.

  Evol

  Meanwhile, back on the Continent, the Maritanians were beginning to wonder what's become of Oslo. Many of them were sure that he'd died in a storm or fell into the sea (which would be equally deadly, for no Sprout could swim).

  Finally, the desire to invade Pancakegea grew too much, and Evol Maurits-Sander built two small Flying Machines, one for himself, and one for Alphonso. Unfortunately, the Flying Machine couldn't bear the weight of Alphonso, and Evol had to go flying all by himself.

  Evol got up early, walked to the edge of the tallest cliff with the Flying Machine strapped to his back, and sprang off. The gentle air current picked him up and away he flew. Unfortunately, within a few days of flying he got into a really nasty storm. The Flying Machine was struck by lightning several times, but somehow Evol managed to avoid being electrocuted.

  Several days later, and in a badly mangled state, Evol spotted one of the Flotilla's ships and stealthily crash-landed onto its slippery deck in the middle of the night.