The Stars My Destination
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Foyle awoke in darkness. He was decelerated, but the exhaustion of his body told him he had been under acceleration while he was unconscious. Either his power pack had run out or . . . He inched a hand to the small of his back. The pack was gone. It had been removed.
He explored with trembling fingers. He was in bed. He listened to the murmur of ventilators and refrigerants and the click and buzz of servo-mechanisms. He was aboard a ship. He was strapped to the bed. The ship was in free fall.
Foyle unfastened himself, pressed his elbows against the mattress and floated up. He drifted through the darkness searching for a light switch or a call button. His hands brushed against a water carafe with raised letters on the glass. He read them with his fingertips. S.S. he felt. V, o, r, g, a. Vorga. He cried out.
The door of the stateroom opened. A figure drifted m through the door, silhouetted against the light of a luxurious private lounge behind it.
'This time we picked you up,' Olivia Presteign said.
'Olivia? 'Yes.'
'Then it's true?'
'Yes, Gully.'
Foyle began to cry.
'You're still weak,' she said gently. 'Come and lie down.'
She urged him into the lounge and strapped him into a chaise-longue. It was still warm from her body. 'You've been like this for six days. We never thought you'd live. Everything was drained out of you before the surgeon found that battery on your back."
'Where is it?' he croaked.
'You can have it whenever you want it. Don't fret, my dear.'
He looked at her for a long moment, his Snow-Maiden, his beloved Ice-Princess . . . the white satin skin, the blind coral eyes and exquisite coral mouth. She touched his moist eyelids with a scented handkerchief.'
'I love you,' he said.
'Shhh. I know, Gully.'
'You've known all about me. For how long?'
'I knew Gully Foyle was my enemy from the beginning. I never knew he was Fourmyle until we met. Ah, if only I'd known before. How much would have been saved.'
'You knew and you've been laughing at me.'
'No.'
'Standing by and shaking with laughter.'
'Standing by and loving you. No don't interrupt. I'm trying to be rational and it's not easy.' A flush cascaded across the marble face. 'I'm not playing with you now. I . . . I betrayed you to my father. I did. Self-defense, I thought. Now that I've met him at last I can see he's too dangerous. An hour later I knew it was a mistake because I realized I was in love with you. I'm paying for it now. You need never have known.'
'You expect me to believe that?'
'Then why am I here?' She trembled slightly. 'Why did I follow you? That bombing was ghastly. You'd have been dead in another minute when we picked you up. Your yawl was a wreck . . .'
'Where are we now?'
'What difference does it make?'
'I'm stalling for time.'
'Time for what?'
'Not for time . . . I'm stalling for courage.'
'We're orbiting earth.'
'How, did you follow me?'
'I knew you'd be after Lindsey Joyce. I took over one of my father's ships. It happened to be Vorga again.'
'Does he know?'
'He never knows. I live my own private life.'
He could not take his eyes off her, and yet it hurt him to look at her. He was yearning and hating . . . yearning for the reality to be undone, hating the truth for what it was. He discovered that he was stroking her handkerchief with tremulous fingers.
'I love you, Olivia'
'I love you, Gully, my enemy.'
'For God's sake! He burst out. 'Why did you do it?'
'What?' she lashed back. 'Are you demanding apologies?'
'I'm demanding an explanation.'
'You'll get none from me!'
'Blood and money, your father said. He was right. Oh . . . Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!'
'Blood and money, Yes; and ashamed.'
'I'm drowning, Olivia. Throw me a lifeline.'
'Then drown. Nobody ever saved me. No - No... This is wrong; all wrong. Wait, my dear. Wait.'
She composed herself and began speaking very tenderly. 'I could lie, Gully dear, and make you believe it, but I'm going to be honest. There's a simple explanation. I live my own private life. We all do. You do.'
'What's yours?'
'No different from yours . . . from the rest of the world. I cheat, I lie, I destroy . . . like all of us. I'm criminal . . . like all of us.'
'Why? For money? You don't need money.'
'No.'
'For control . . . power?'
'Not for power.'
'Then why?'
She took a deep breath, as though this truth was the first truth and was crucifying her. 'For hatred . . . To pay you back, all of you.'
'For what?'
'For being blind,' she said in a smoldering voice. 'For being cheated. For being helpless . . . They should have killed me when I was born. Do you know what it's like to be blind to receive life second-hand? To be dependent, begging, crippled? "Bring them down to your level," I told my secret life. "If you're blind make them blinder. If you're helpless, cripple them. Pay them back . . . all of them".'
' Olivia, you're insane.'
'And you?'
'I'm in love with a monster.'
'We're a pair of monsters.'
'No.!'
'No? Not you?' she flared. 'What have you been doing but paying the world back, like me? What's your revenge but your own private-account with bad luck? Who wouldn't call you a crazy monster? I tell you, we're a pair, Gully. We couldn't help falling in love.'
He was stunned by the truth of what she said. He tried on the shroud of her revelation and it fit; clung tighter than the tiger mask tattooed on his face.
'"Remorseless",' he said, "'Lecherous, treacherous, kindness villain!" It's true. I'm no better than you. Worse. But before God I never murdered six hundred.'
'You're murdering six million.'
'What?'
'Perhaps more. You've got something they need to end the war, and you're holding out.'
'You mean PyrE?'
'Yes.'
'What is it, this bringer of peace, this twenty pounds of miracle that they're fighting for?'
'I don't know, but I know they need it, and I don't care. Yes, I'm being honest now. I don't care. Let millions be murdered. It makes no difference to us. Not to us, Gully, because we stand apart. We stand apart and shape our own world We're the strong.'
'We're the damned, 'We're the blessed. We've found each other.'
Suddenly she laughed and held out her arms. 'I'm arguing when there's no need for the words. Come to me, my love . . . Wherever you are, come to me . . . .'
He touched her and then put his arms around her. He found her mouth and devoured her. But he was forced to release her.
'What is it, Gully darling?'
'I'm not a child any more,' he said wearily. 'I've learned to understand that nothing is simple. There's never a simple answer. You can love someone and loathe them.'
'Can you, Gully?'
'And you're making me loathe myself.?'
'No, my dear.'
'I've been a tiger all my life. I trained myself... educated myself . . . pulled myself up by my stripes to make me a stronger tiger with a longer claw and a sharper tooth .. quick and deadly . . .'
'And you are. You are. The deadliest'
'No. I'm not. I went too far. I went beyond simplicity. I turned myself into a thinking creature. I look through your blind, eyes, my love whom I loathe, and I see myself. The tiger's gone.'
'There's no place for the tiger to go. You're trapped, Gully; by Dagenham, Intelligence, my father, the world'
'I know.'
'But you're safe with me. We're safe together, the pair of us. They'll never dream of looking for you near me. We can plan together, fight together, destroy them together . . . '
'No. Not together
.'
'What is it?' she flared again. 'Are you still hunting me? Is that what's wrong? Do you still want revenge? Then take .it. Here I am. Go ahead . . . destroy me.'
'No. Destruction's finished for me.'
'Ah, I know what it is.'
She became tender again in an instant. 'It's your face, poor darling. You're ashamed of your tiger face; but I love it. You burn so brightly for me. You burn through the blindness. Believe me...'
'My God! What a pair of loathsome freaks we are.'
'What's happened to you?' she demanded. She broke away from him, her coral eyes glittering. 'Where's the man who watched the raid with me? Where's the unashamed savage who-'
'Gone, Olivia. You've lost him. We both have.'
'Gully!'
'He's lost.'
'But why? What have I done?'
'You don't understand, Olivia.'
'Where are you?'
She reached out, touched him and then clung to him. 'Listen to me, darling. You're tired. You're exhausted that's all. Nothing is lost.'
The words tumbled out other. 'You're right. Of course you're right. We've been bad, both of us. Loathsome. But all that's gone now. Nothing is lost We were wicked because we were alone and unhappy. But we've found each other; we can save each other. Be my love, darling. Always. For ever. I've looked for you so long, waited and hoped and prayed. . .
'No. You're lying, Olivia, and you know it.'
'For God's sake, Gully!'
'Put Vorga down, Olivia.'
'Land?'
'Yes.'
'On earth?'
'Yes.'
'What are you going to do? You're insane. They're hunting you . . . waiting for you . ... watching. What are you going to do?'
'Do you think this is easy for me?' he said. 'I'm doing what I have to do. I'm still driven. No man ever escapes from that. But there's a different compulsion in the saddle, and the spurs hurt, damn it. They hurt like hell.'
He stifled his anger and controlled himself. He took her hands and kissed her palms.
'It's all finished, Olivia,' he said gently. 'But I love you. Always. For ever.'
'I'll sum it up,' Dagenham rapped. We were bombed the night we found Foyle. We lost him on the moon and found him a week later on Mars. We were bombed again. We lost him again. He's been lost for a week. Another bombing's due. Venus? The Moon? Terra again? Who knows. But we all know this . . . one more raid without retaliation and we're lost' He glanced around the table. Against the ivory and gold background of the Star Chamber of Castle Presteign, his face, all three faces, looked strained.
Y'ang-Yeovil slitted his eyes in a frown. Presteign compressed his thin lips.
'And we know this too,' Dagenham continued. 'We can't retaliate without PyrE and we can't locate the PyrE without Foyle.'
'My instructions were,' Presteign interposed, 'that PyrE was not to be mentioned in public.'
'In the first place, this is not public' Dagenham snapped. 'It's a private information pool. In the second place, we've gone beyond property rights. We're discussing survival, and we've all got equal rights in that. Yes, Jiz?'
Jisbella McQueen had jaunted into the Star Chamber, looking intent and furious.
'Still no sign of Foyle.'
'Old St Pat's still being watched?'
'Yes.'
'Commando Brigade's report in from Mars yet?'
'No.'
'That's my business and Most Secret,' Y'ang-Yeovil objected mildly.
'You've got as few secrets from me as I have from you.'
Dagenham grinned mirthlessly. 'See if you can beat Central Intelligence back here with that report, Jiz. Go.' She disappeared.
'About property rights,' Y'ang-Yeovil murmured. 'May I suggest to Presteign that Central Intelligence will guarantee full payment to him for his rights, title and interest in PyrE?'
'Don't coddle him, Yeovil.'
'This conference is being recorded,' Presteign said, coldly. 'The captain's offer is now on file.'
He turned his basilisk face to Dagenham. 'You are in my employ, Mr. Dagenham. Please control your references to myself.'
'And to your property?'
Dagenham inquired with a deadly smile. 'You and your damned property. All of you and all your damned property have put us in this hole. The system's on the edge of total annihilation for the sake of your property. I'm not exaggerated It will be a shooting war to end all wars if we can't stop it.'
'We can always surrender,' Presteign answered.
'No,' Y'ang-Yeovil said. 'That's already been discussed and discarded at H.Q. We know the post-victory plans of the Outer Satellites. They involve total exploitation of the Inner Planets. We're to be gutted and worked until nothing's left. Surrender would be as disastrous as defeat'
'But not for Presteign,' Dagenham added.
'Shall we say . . . present company excluded?' Y'ang-Yeovil replied gracefully.
'All right, Presteign,' Dagenham swiveled in his chair. 'Give.'
'I beg your pardon, sir?'
Let's hear all about PyrE. I've got an idea how we can bring Foyle out into the open and locate the stuff, but I've got to know all about it first. Make your contribution.'
'No,' Presteign answered.
'No, What?'
'I have decided to withdraw from this information pool. I will reveal nothing about PyrE.'
'For God's sake, Presteign! Are you insane? What's got into you? Are you fighting Regis Sheffield's Liberal party again?'
'It's quite simple, Dagenham,' Y'ang-Yeovil interposed. 'My information about the surrender-defeat situation has shown Presteign a way to better his position. No doubt he intends negotiating a sale to the enemy in return for ... property advantages:
'Can nothing move you?' Dagenham asked Presteign, scornfully. Can nothing touch you? Are you all property and nothing else? Go away, Jiz! The whole thing's fallen apart.'
Jisbella had jaunted into the Star Chamber again. 'Commando Brigade's report,' she said. 'We know what happened to Foyle.'
'What?'
'Presteign's got him.'
'What!'
Both Dagenham and Y'ang-Yeovil started to their feet.
'He left Mars in a private yawl, was shot up, and was observed being picked up by the Presteign S.S. Vorga.'
'Damn you, Presteign,' Dagenham snapped. 'So that's why you've been.'
'Wait,' Y'ang-Yeovil commanded. 'It's news to him too, Dagenham. Look at him.'
Presteign's handsome face had gone the color of ashes. He tried to rise and fell back stiffly in his chair. 'Olivia . .he whispered. 'With him . . . That scum. . .'
'Presteign?'
'My daughter, gentlemen, has . . . for sometime been engaged in . . . certain activities. The family vice. Blood and- I . . . have managed to close my eyes to it. . . Had almost convinced myself that I was mistaken. I . . . But Foyle! Dirt! Filth! He must be destroyed!'
Presteign's voice soared alarmingly. His head twisted back like a hanged man's and his body began to shudder.
'What in the-?'
'Epilepsy,' Y'ang-Yeovil said. He pulled Presteign out of the chair on to the floor. 'A spoon, Miss McQueen. Quick!'
He levered Presteign's teeth open and placed a spoon between them to protect the tongue. As suddenly as it had begun, the seizure was over. The shuddering stopped. Presteign opened his eyes.
'Petit mal,' Y'ang-Yeovil murmured, withdrawing the spoon. 'But he'll be dazed for a while.'
Suddenly Presteign began to speak in a low monotone. 'PyrE is a pyrophoric alloy. A pyrophore is a metal which emits sparks when scraped or struck. PyrE emits energy, which is why E, the energy symbol, was added to the prefix Pyr. PyrE is a solid solution of trans-Plutonian isotopes, releasing thermo-nuclear energy on the order of stellar phoenix action. Its discoverer was of opinion that he had produced the equivalent of the primordial proto-matter, which exploded in the Universe.'
'My God!' Jisbella exclaimed.
Dagenham silenced her with a ge
sture and bent over Presteign.
'How is it brought to critical mass. Presteign? How is the energy released?'
'As the original energy was generated, in the beginning of time,' Presteign droned. 'Through Will and Idea.'
'I'm convinced he's a Cellar-Christian,' Dagenham muttered to Y'ang-Yeovil. He raised his voice. 'Will you explain, Presteign?'
'Through Will and Idea,' Presteign repeated. 'PyrE can only be exploded by psychokinesis. Its energy can only be released by thought. It must be willed to explode and the thought directed at it. That is the only way.'
'There's no key? No formula?'
'No. Only Will and Idea are necessary.' The glazed eyes closed.
'God in Heaven!' Dagenham mopped his brow. 'Will this give the Outer Satellites pause, Yeovil?'
'It'll give us all pause.'
'It's the road to hell,' Jisbella said.
'Then let's find it and get off the road. Here's my idea, Yeovil. Foyle was tinkering with the hell-brew in his lab in Old St Pat's, trying to analyze it' 'I told you that in strict confidence,' Jisbella said furiously.
'I'm sorry, dear. We're past honor and decencies. Now look, Yeovil, there must be some fragments of the stuff lying about . . . as dust, in solution, it precipitates . . . We've got to detonate those fragments and blow the hell out of Foyle's circus.'
'Why?'
'To bring him running. He must have the bulk of the PyrE hidden there somewhere. He'll come to salvage it.'
'What if it blows up too?'
'It can't; not inside an Inert Lead Isotope safe.'
'Maybe it's not all inside.'
'Jiz says it is . . . at least so Foyle reported.'
'Leave me out of this,' Jisbella said.
'Anyway, we'll have to gamble.'
'Gamble!'
Y'ang-Yeovil exclaimed. 'On a Phoenix Action? You'll gamble the solar system into a brand new Nova.'
'What else can we do? Pick any other road . . . and it's the road to destruction, too. Have we got any choice?'
'We can wait,' Jisbella said.
'For what? For Foyle to blow us up with himself with his tinkering?'
'We can warn him.'
'We don't know where he is'
'We can find him.'
'How soon? Won't that be a gamble too? And what about that stuff lying around waiting for someone to think it into energy? Suppose a Jack-Jaunter gets in and cracks the safe, looking for goodies? And then we don't just have dust waiting for an accidental thought, but twenty pounds.'