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    Ballads of a Bred Souljah V 1.5

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      Such a horrible sin

      Am I guilty of?

      Had I killed 2 much?

      That I lost touch…

      Of my hu-manity

      Abandoned by sanity

      Returned 2 this crazy world

      Tossed from another

      I have lost my brother

      Fingertips trying to hold on to my mother

      Plagued by nightmare

      And I can’t seem 2 care

      My soul I bare

      But They tear and tear

      Death seems so near

      My life done dis-appeared

      But do I care?

      Support Our Troops

      Torn pages

      My heart rages

      It amazes…

      Me how…

      This world’s so hypocritical

      Watch you climb up

      Then kick you down…

      But I refuse to just rot in the ground

      Cremate me

      Burn me in the flames that you gave me

      How can I sanely ask the Lord to save me?

      In a world so crazy

      They’ll probably kill Him if He came

      Do Souljahz die in vain?

      Amount to nothing but dusty stickers

      And forgotten names

      But ain’t nothin’ changed

      Countless others going through the same

      But who’s to blame?

      What dwells in the blood of the slain?

      It’s still on my brain

      4ever stained

      From a war in vain

      U Can’t even fathom my pain

      The introduction

      But can you feel without touchin’?

      Like a baby born grown

      So much unknown

      I stepped away from my world 4 a moment

      But now I’m back

      Unsure if I want it

      Sometimes haunted by passed memories

      Sit sipping’ on a brew like it’s Hennessey

      I just don’t remember me

      So many things are empty

      Shocked from the shell!

      Did I die?

      Is this Hell?

      Or is it resurrection

      So many questions

      No more rifles

      And no more vests man…

      Just the Cess in my chest man…

      Stress suppressed in this mess man

      As I stand in burning quick sand

      So Damn

      Like I’m kin 2 Satan

      So many curses I can’t hear my bless-ingz

      The Rules

      I give you half

      You give me double

      Don’t pay

      There’s trouble

      Let knuckles touch you

      Or get dug through

      With a rusty nail

      Follow the rules

      You don’t fail

      Don’t lust

      Don’t touch

      And never pick up

      What’s not-your-stuff

      Keep your thoughts 2 yourself

      Trust-no-one-else

      Wolves with tucked tails

      Don’t let them bluff you

      Trick, steal and f#$k you

      Get your own Hustle

      Feed you own needs

      Sweets to eat

      Nicotine or weed

      Plant the seed with what you feed

      Read Read Read

      Don’t be weak

      Watch the words you say

      Especially to whom you speak

      Cracks will leak

      Sweat

      I wake up and my body’s wet

      Is it the stress?

      Or just that my body sweats

      To lessen my body’s temps

      I cannot recollect what last night I dreamt

      But I still feel by what it’s meant

      Arise already spent

      My eyes are full of lint

      Mouth dry

      And my body’s covered

      Smothered

      I can’t breathe (I fear to take another)

      Drowning as my pores bleed

      Can’t wipe it from off me

      Buried ever so softly

      Under the depths of this wetness

      Stressed and restless

      In this cage

      I am baked

      The flies invade

      Barely awake

      Is this the end of my days?

      Lord knows it feels close

      Vision blurred

      I see ghosts

      Through these bars

      Within these walls

      In every bead that falls

      From my flesh

      My brow

      My chest

      They crowd my nest

      Pain escapes their chests

      Crowds out my breaths

      Now less

      My fouled guests without rest

      No longer in the flesh

      Mine they possess

      I rise in this Sweat

      Beggars and Leaches

      Beggars and leaches

      Suck you dry

      Leave you in broken pieces

      So very hard to believe it

      He came running

      Comical, calm and cunning

      Or sad and sick with nose running

      Wanting to borrow something

      Tears coming

      On your coat tails tuggin’

      It’s hard to say “fuch him”

      So you reach in your pocket

      Just to stop it-all that teardrop isht

      But he’s relentless

      Now comes the “best friend “mess

      A steady rising debt that he won’t address-got you stressed

      Licks his lips wet when he steps in your direc’

      Boi! I’m hungry!!!

      You always wantin’ somethin’ from me!!!

      I wasn’t talkin’ to you!!!

      That’s awfully rude

      People do what they’re allowed to

      Slowly they crowd around you

      Like Hounds do

      They come with hands out

      Your kindness makes you stand out

      Everybody else got their hands @ their Damn mouths

      While you giving hand-outs

      Mad when the water in your well done ran out

      Your throat is parched and dry

      But don’t be surprised

      Drink the tears you cry

      As they pass on by

      No reply to your askin “Why?”

      You feel defeated

      Sodomized and cheated

      How could you not have seen it?

      They kept taking pieces

      Beggars and Leaches

     

      Endless Pearls Holding On

      Endless Pearls

      My Imagination is vacant

      Call it lack of concentration

      Drownin’ in patience

      My pen is waitin’

      To be taken

      Weary of my hesitation

      But I lack the motivation

      Can’t crack the separation

      Between desire and action

      Like climbin’ a mountain without traction

      I’m back in…

      The very same position

      Condition

      Only date and time is different

      The clock doesn’t stop

      Some call it Writer’s Block

      Before me is a wall

      As wide as the horizon

      And twice as tall

      I take a leap of Faith

      And still I fall

      Smooth as a marble ball

      And just as white

      It glows silvery bright

      And then one night,

      With my eyes shut tight

      I felt a slight shiver (Divinely delivered)

      Quickly I ran to my Mind’s Rivers

      Dropped in 2 sets of 5 fingers

      For so long….

      I lingered

      From my
    fingertip

      Not a single drop dripped

      On my return trip

      I caught a glimpse

      Of what I didn’t see at first

      What I thought a curse

      Quenched my thirst as I wrote these words on Endless Pearls

      Holdin’ On

      Sometimes I hold myself

      When I can’t reach no one else

      Wrap my arms around my flesh

      Possess

      All that I own

      Born alone

      Die alone

      Although it sounds wrong

      That’s how it belongs

      I tell myself “be strong”

      “I am here for you to lean on

      When everyone will be gone

      Both Then and Be-yond”

      I make me warm

      In this frigid

      Life I live it

      I am who I have to live with

      ‘til I let go my breath

      Where go I next?

      So I hold my-self

      Into the depths

      Hands cross my chest

      A vest of flesh

      I’ll sacrifice myself

      For myself

      ‘cause no one stands to my left

      Do you see what I have said?

      Or it I alone that’s listenin’?

      Speakin’ into the mist again

      Leaning against the wind

      When it is within which I should depend

      Or have I gone off the deep end?

      Because me, myself I befriend

      All the rest…

      I do not see them

      Especially when they have no fee-lin’z

      How then can I feel them?

      Some- one-tell

      Until then….

      I Hold Myself

      Dedicated to My Beloved Mother, Brothers and Sisters

      Struggle

      Faith

      VICTORY

     
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