This Moody Bastard

  The girl finally found her voice. “Shane, what is she talking about? You said she left you.”

  “Oh, really? No, see, after eight years of running his business for him, he told me he’d met someone behind my back, was moving to Miami to be with her and work for her father, and selling the business. I got metaphorically dry fucked up the ass without so much as a reacharound, honey. But like I said, best thing that ever happened to me.”

  Cali grabbed Sean and Max’s hands. “I got them.” Her smile widened. “And they’re both better hung than him, too. Not to mention they’re way better in bed on their worst day than this piece of shit ever was on his best.”

  Sean’s chin tilted up a little in pride, his beaming smile nearly cracking Cali up as he draped his arm around her shoulders.

  “You know,” Shane said, “we’re just going to go over there and play.”

  “Have fun!” Cali said, waggling her fingers at them as he turned to lead the girl toward the new side of the dungeon. “Enjoy! Don’t forget to check his FetLife account for messages from other women, honey. I’d make that a hard limit, if I were you. The rat bastard can’t be trusted.”

  Essie managed to get one arm out far enough for Cali to fist bump with her.

  “Dammit,” Gilo said, sounding disappointed. “This means we aren’t going to punch the fucker.” He finally released Abbey’s hair and pulled her against him.

  “No,” Seth said. “No punching of the fucker tonight, I’m afraid.”

  “You sound disappointed, Sir,” Leah noticed.

  “I am. I had the bail money ready and everything.”

  * * * *

  Cali, Essie, Abbey, Leah, and their men ended up gathered in a large gaggle at tables in the social area, talking. More friends joined them who knew who Shane was, knew Cali’s relationship to him, and wanted to know what the fuck.

  Twenty minutes later, the girl stormed out of the new side and out the office door.

  About thirty seconds later, Shane followed, looking flustered and dragging his bag with him. He shot Cali a glare.

  She smiled and waggled her fingers at him in a friendly wave, which cracked everyone up.

  That made him madder, and he left.

  Gilo was back in street clothes. “Wonder what got drilled up his ass?”

  Tony poked his head through the entryway to the new side, looking around with a playful smile on his face. Seeing Cali and the others there, he walked over.

  “Hey. ’Sup?”

  Max leaned back in his chair. “So…what happened with Shane and his teenybopper?”

  Tony slowly shrugged. “Damned if I know. He walked over there, staked out a bench, and when he saw me he said hi and introduced me to his girl. I shook hands with her, and said wow, you look a lot older than the last girl I saw him with. Which, since I did her orientation when she joined a while back, I remembered she was twenty.”

  Everyone exploded with laughter.

  He shrugged again. “I don’t know what happened. I walked away, next thing I know, they’re arguing and I walked over and said hey, let’s not fight, wouldn’t want him to get banned again since Cali was nice enough to agree to him being unbanned and no one wants him here anyway because he’s a scumbag. Then, next thing I know, she’s all pissed off at him and says she wants to leave.”

  Yet another shrug.

  Seth snorted. “Dude, how are you even saying that with a straight face?”

  He yawned. “It’s not easy. Mostly because I’m so fricking tired right now I can’t see straight. Didn’t sleep well last night. The AC died late and neither of us slept well. That’s why we didn’t make dinner and I told Shay she could stay home. Repairman fixed it today, though. I’m probably not going to make it all night.”

  They left shortly after. Cali rode in the backseat while Sean drove.

  “Now that floor show would have been well worth the price of admission even if we’d had to pay to get in,” Sean said. He slapped the steering wheel. “Dammit, that was freaking funny!”

  “You okay, sweetie?” Max asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Why don’t you sound okay?”

  “I feel sorry for that girl. Either he’ll sucker her into staying with him, and convince her we’re all lying jerks, or she’s just run into her first major predator after getting into the lifestyle. Either way, sucks to be her.”

  “Don’t feel too sorry for her,” Max said. “She needs experience. We only get experience by making mistakes.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t want to see him do to someone else what he did to me.”

  What she’d really wanted to do was punch his fucking lights out, go totally Tilly on him.

  Part of her regretted that she hadn’t done just that.

  “You could ask Derrick and Marcia to ban him again,” Sean said.

  “Yeah, but that makes him a victim,” Cali pointed out. “If he stops coming around, that’s on him, not me. I can honestly tell people no, he’s allowed at the club. Not my fault people despise him for what he did to me.”

  Tonight she’d thought she’d feel frisky, but by the time they returned home, she was in more of a watching kind of mood.

  As Sean and Max got lost in a sexy sixty-nine that they’d semi-wrestled to decide who’d be on top—Max—Cali struggled to rid her mind of old thoughts and recriminations.

  She had it good.

  Damned good.

  I need to quit being so fucking moody. I have nothing to complain about.

  Chapter Eight

  “What are you doing?” Cali asked.

  It was the Saturday morning of the Easter party. Sean sat at the dining room table with a sea of plastic egg halves laid out before him. He also had a black permanent marker.

  “Fifty eggs, fifty prizes. Ten of them, I’m stuffing with condoms, so that’s their prize. We’ve had ten donations from people for stuff like gift cards, things like that. Plus we’re donating five toys. That’s fifteen. So I’m writing the numbers one through fifteen inside egg halves. They find one of those, they bring them up to us to claim the prize. I’ll have numbered zippy bags or tags, depending on what it is. If anyone brings other prizes at the last minute, I can add them in.”

  “That’s pretty ingenious.” She rested her hands on his shoulders. “What about the other twenty-five?”

  He held up one in which he’d written a V. “Marcia donated twenty-five five-dollar entry coupons to Venture. They have to take the egg in to redeem it.” He smiled. “I discovered if you fill both egg halves with water and then toss them in the pool, they’ll sink.”

  She giggled. “Oh, no. How many are going in the pool?”

  He shrugged. “I haven’t decided how sadistic I want to be yet. At least a couple of the bigger prizes. The condoms don’t matter if they get wet, they’re wrapped with plastic. So definitely a few of those.”

  “How will we keep people from scooping them all up?”

  “Limit one per person. If we end up with extra people, I’ll stuff more condoms in some of them and scatter them around. The smart people will likely wait a little and choose carefully. If we have leftovers, we’ll do a drawing for them, or something.”

  “Cool.”

  “Hey, can we add will-call to our shipping options?”

  “Um…no?”

  “No we can’t, or no, you won’t?”

  “Sure, Sean. Let’s tell random people on the Internet where we live. What is wrong with you?”

  “Just for tonight. So if someone’s here at the party tonight and sees something they want, they order it and we don’t have to manually adjust for shipping. Can’t we restrict will-call by zip code or something? I had three people asking me about buying stuff at the last party. Those are the ones who I had you do the partial refunds for so they didn’t have to pay shipping.”

  “Oh, yeah. Hmm. I can restrict it by state…” She started thinking about it. “You think we should?”

  “Can’t hurt, right?”

&
nbsp; “I just don’t want people thinking we’re trying to make money off them by having the party here.”

  “It’s not pimping to them if they’re coming to us to ask about stuff.”

  “That’s true. Yeah, I can do it.”

  “Thanks.” He raised his head for a kiss from her before she headed to the office.

  A few minutes later, she had the change made in the store’s back-end. After taking care of a few more things, she walked out to Sean and was going to say something when her cell phone dinged from an incoming business e-mail.

  “Huh.”

  He looked up. “What?”

  “Eliza just ordered three new paddles from us.”

  He grinned.

  “Don’t say it.”

  He mimed locking his lips shut.

  “I mean it, Sean.”

  He shrugged.

  Max walked in. “What’s going on?”

  “Just tell me you told me so,” she said to Sean.

  “You told her so about what?” Max asked.

  “Will-call,” he said.

  “Ah. Any bites?”

  She held out her cell phone so he could read the order e-mail.

  “Oh, nice. Eliza. Cool.” He grinned. “Hope Rusty likes them.”

  * * * *

  Eliza McElroy smiled as she followed her husband, Rusty, up Cali’s front walk. He carried their bags and wore black leather boots, jeans, a rather loud tropical button-up shirt…and on his head bobbed a set of bunny ears.

  It was the bunny ears perched on top of his six-four frame that were cracking her up. They sat slightly lopsided on his huge head.

  Her husband sometimes acted like a cross between a big kid and a puppy, without the slightest bit of shame or self-consciousness.

  And she desperately loved him for it.

  With their daughter Kailey away at college in Gainesville, they could freely engage in their kinky lifestyle to their heart’s content.

  Wasn’t like their dog minded what they did.

  That meant they rarely missed one of these private parties, and they hit the Saturday night dinner at Sigalo’s as much as possible.

  Their own second childhood.

  “Hey, Barbarian,” she said, pulling him up short.

  “Yes, Ma’am?”

  She juggled the casserole dish with one arm and reached up with the other to straighten his bunny ears. “That’s better.” She kissed him, then stepped around him to ring the doorbell.

  Cali opened the door, immediately laughing when she saw Rusty’s ears. “I think you and Sean shop at the same costume store. Come on in, guys.”

  “I was told there’d be an egg hunt?” Rusty set their bags down and hugged Cali. “Or I should say I was promised an egg hunt.”

  Eliza rolled her eyes and hugged Cali. “You know him and games. He’s a wee bit competitive.”

  “I’m not competitive,” he said, almost immediately bursting out laughing.

  “Yeah, you nearly lasted a second with that straight face,” Eliza teased.

  “Well, I tried.”

  “They’re all over the place. No fair opening one. Once you open one, it’s yours. One egg per person, if there are any leftovers at the end of the evening, we’ll figure out how to divvy them up then. If you get one with a number, bring it up to us for your prize. If you get one with a V, hold on to it and take it to Venture, it’s a $5-off coupon. The remainder of eggs are self-explanatory.”

  “Cool,” he said. “Thanks.”

  They found a spot on the counter for their casserole, located a place to stash their stuff, and started making the rounds to say hi to their friends. It looked like the party had gotten off to a good start already, and it was still relatively early in the evening. That always boded well.

  Sean walked up to them. “Here you go. Thanks for the order.”

  Eliza grinned as she took the three paddles from him. “Thank you!”

  Rusty’s eyes widened, making Eliza giggle not-so-inwardly. “What the hell are those?”

  Eliza waved them in front of his face. “New shinies!”

  He rolled his eyes. “Oh, boy.”

  “Hey, not like I hear you complaining when we scene, barbarian.”

  He smiled. “No, Ma’am. Not complaining. I do want my egg, though.”

  “You sure you want to get them this early in the night?”

  “I don’t want to wait until they’re all gone.”

  “Okay, then. Go for it.”

  She watched him walk through the house, looking at the various eggs, sometimes picking one up and shaking it and putting it back down.

  Finally, he returned with a pink and a blue one, handing her the pink one.

  She cracked it open and found it had the number 5 written in black marker.

  Rusty got condoms.

  She went to Cali, who took it from her. “Let me go get it for you.”

  She returned a moment later, laughing as she handed it to Eliza.

  Rusty scowled. “Dammit,” he muttered when he got a good look at it.

  Eliza took a test smack with the wooden paddle against her own hand. “I think that’s a poetic kind of irony right there, barbarian. You picked me an egg that won me a new paddle to smack your ass with.”

  He sighed. “Yes, Ma’am.”

  * * * *

  When the doorbell rang, Cali was a little surprised to see Ethan there. “Hey, come on in.”

  “Sorry to bother you.” She got the distinct impression he was in cop mode, even though he wore shorts and a T-shirt. “I hope you don’t mind I came by. I wanted to talk to people in case anyone’s heard from Brita.”

  “Sure, come on in.”

  “Thanks. I thought maybe I’d run into someone here I know who I forgot about, you know?”

  “No worries.” He looked drawn, haggard. “How’s her niece doing? All the kids?”

  “She’s good. Her mom said the kids are asking about Brita. We told them she’s on a cruise, and that’s why she’s not able to talk on the phone. I hate lying to Jordan, but it’s easier to explain it like that than for her to maybe feel guilty or something that Brita left to protect her.”

  “Is there anything we can do to help you?”

  “Nothing more than what you’ve been doing. From the note she left, I’m hoping she either checks in or returns soon, but that doesn’t make the waiting any easier.”

  “I’m sure it doesn’t.”

  She watched him walk into the dining room and scan the attendees before heading out to the lanai to talk to Keith and Noel.

  Max walked up. “Did I just see Ethan?”

  “Yeah.”

  “No Brita?”

  “Not yet. That’s why he’s here.”

  “Next time I get bitchy,” he said, “you have permission to remind me I’ve got it good.”

  She rested her head against him. “Ditto.”

  Chapter Nine

  The party was in full swing when, just a little before nine o’clock, the doorbell rang.

  Cali went to answer it, pleasantly shocked to see Kel and Mal standing there.

  She hoped she managed to disguise her shock at Mal’s appearance. Although Cali hadn’t seen her in over a month, it looked like she’d lost weight, and not in a good way. Dark hollows shadowed her eyes even though she’d put on makeup.

  “Hey! Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you made it!” Kel reached for a hug first, so she hugged him.

  “Gentle hugs with her, please,” he whispered in her ear.

  When Kel released her, Cali opened her arms to Mal and waited for her step in.

  Mal stepped into her hug and Cali was shocked at how thin she felt. Mallory could never have been called obese, but she’d been a comfortable, beautiful, radiant plus size before she’d gotten pregnant.

  This…this didn’t strike Cali as healthy.

  At all.

  “It’s good to see you,” Cali said. “I’m so sorry about the baby.”

  “Thanks.” She
forced a smile that looked nearly too painful to bear. “And thank you for the cards. I’m sorry I haven’t called.”

  “No, hey, that’s okay. We’ve been keeping track with Chelbie. We didn’t want to overwhelm you. Come on in.”

  Cali didn’t know where Sean and Max were, but hoped she could easily flag them down. She knew they’d want to at least say hi to her.

  Rusty and Eliza spotted them and walked over to say hello, leaving Cali a perfect exit to go find her men. She located Sean first and sent him on to go talk to them while she looked for Max.

  He was out on the lanai watching Justin trying to dive for one of the eggs at the bottom of the pool with his mouth while Glen and Wade egged him on…

  She rose up on her toes to speak into his ear. “Kel and Mal are here.”

  Like a shot, he turned and headed inside.

  Justin had just broken the surface again, still empty-mouthed.

  While the rules didn’t require pool retrievals to be via mouth, Glen and Wade had, of course, ordered Justin to get a total of three eggs from the bottom of the pool, one for each of them.

  And there were still a couple of the larger prizes available, including one of the paddles they’d donated.

  A slight breeze had picked up ahead of a weather front that was supposed to be moving through early the next day. The pool was warm, but anyone walking around wet might get chilled easily. At least their hot tub was getting a lot of use, as it usually did at one of these parties.

  Cali returned to the house to find more people now talking with Mal and Kel. Sean had brought her a box of tissues and handed it to Kel before stepping out of the way again.

  She dabbed at her eyes as Doyle and the other Mal—also known as Mevi—stepped up to talk to her.