Across the River of Yesterday

  He nodded. “The vet thought he was out of danger, but he had a relapse. He didn’t last more than an hour after I got back to him.” He swallowed. “It hurt to watch him die.”

  “But you stayed with him.”

  He looked up in surprise. “Of course. Death is lonely. I think it must help to have a friend there.”

  She reached out and gently touched his cheek. “Anything is better, if you have a friend there.”

  He went still. “Is that an invitation?”

  “I’d like to be your friend,” she said simply. “In a way, I think we’re already friends, Gideon. I can’t give you what you seem to want from me, but I can give you this. Let me help you.” She stepped into his arms as naturally as if she’d never left them one night long ago. She could feel him stiffen and then slowly relax against her.

  “I’d be a fool to turn down your offer, wouldn’t I?” His arms tightened around her and his cheek pressed against her temple. “Lord, I’m hurting, Serena. You know, old Frank was a little like me. I guess that was why I grew to love him so damn much. We were both wanderers and had been through the mill. We both had our scars.”

  Serena could feel a moistness on her temple and she instinctively tightened her arms about him.

  “There were times when I was lonely or things weren’t going right but he was always there. He was happy and affectionate and—” His voice broke. “—and loving.”

  “You told me that once,” Serena said huskily. “You said he had toughened up, but kept the loving.”

  “Yes.” He was silent a moment, just holding her. Then his arms dropped away from her and he stepped back. He reached into his back pocket and drew out his handkerchief. “I didn’t mean to drown you.” He dabbed at her temple, dampened by his tears, and then unashamedly wiped his own eyes. “But Frank deserved tears.” He stuffed the handkerchief back into his pocket. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” She smiled at him. “I didn’t even lend you my shirt or make you an omelet. We’re still not even.”

  “This is no contest,” Gideon said gravely. “Friendship makes no comparisons. It’s just giving and taking. Thank you for giving.”

  “Thank you for taking. It was good to be needed. I don’t think anyone has ever needed me before.” She made a face. “Except Dane, and the only help he ever needs is rescue.”

  “No one?” Gideon asked. “Not even your husband?”

  Her expression was suddenly shuttered. “No, Antonio never needed me.” She stepped back. “I think it’s time I went to my room. Why don’t you go to bed, too?”

  “Another invitation?” He held up his hand, a faint smile touching his lips. “No, I know comfort only extends so far and no further. I was joking.” He wearily rubbed the back of his neck. “I think I will go to bed. One way and another, it’s been a hell of a day.”

  “You could have eliminated one source of strain, if you hadn’t practically kidnapped me,” she said lightly. She was actually teasing about his treatment of her, she realized with astonishment. At some time on this patio tonight, anger and resentment had fled, and she wasn’t sure she could ever summon them again to use against Gideon Brandt. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to summon them. Being at peace with Gideon was filling her with a golden tranquility and warmth.

  “I did what I had to do.” His gaze was running over her. “I like that silvery robe. It makes you look like a moon maiden.”

  She laughed. “I thought moon maidens were probably made of green cheese too.”

  He tilted his head as if he were listening to music. “Lord, that’s pretty. I’ve never heard you laugh before. I’m going to have to work on giving you more to laugh about.” He laced his fingers through hers and started across the patio toward the front door. “Maybe I could hire a resident clown, or send for a joke book or—” He broke off. “But I’ll need time to do all that.” He gazed intently at her. “Am I going to get that time, Serena? Am I going to get my week?”

  How could she refuse a man who would postpone initiating a plan he’d held for ten years to comfort a dying animal? A strong man who was not ashamed to show either tears or need. How was it possible to refuse Gideon Brandt?

  “I’m very much afraid you are,” she said huskily. “It’s a mistake, but I’ll give you your week. I don’t know why. You’ve been completely autocratic and—”

  “It’s no mistake.” A radiant smile lit his face. “I’ll make sure it’s the best decision you’ve ever made.” His hand tightened around her own. “Damn, I’m glad.”

  She had made him happy. The knowledge sent a heady burst of exhilaration through her. He had been sad and she had given him happiness. What difference did a week make? Dane was completely happy where he was, and she had no commitments for the next few weeks. She owed Gideon far more for his past support than he had asked of her. “I’m not promising you anything more than friendship. I still think this is crazy and—”

  “Hush, don’t spoil it.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the palm lingeringly. She felt a warm tingle begin to spread from her palm into her veins and then into every part of her body. “Let me be happy.”

  “All right.” Her voice was breathless. The night was suddenly crackling with the same electricity that had charged the dining room earlier in the evening. She could feel her heart start to pound and the temperature seemed ten degrees warmer than it had only a moment ago.

  His clasp tightened around her wrist, and she knew he had felt her betraying leap of response. “For me?” he murmured. “Let’s see what else I can …” His tongue gently stroked her palm, his thumb on her wrist monitoring her reaction. “You like that?”

  She felt as if she had been jolted by lightning. The lightest of intimacies, and yet she was trembling. “I think I’d better go upstairs now.”

  “In a minute.” He moved his lips to the delicate blue veins of her wrist. His tongue moved lazily, teasingly on her flesh. “I can feel your heartbeat going crazy. You’re very easy to arouse, love. I’m so lucky.” He nipped her wrist with his teeth and she felt a jolt of heat flood her. “We’re going to be so good together.”

  She hadn’t expected this, she thought wildly. One moment she was only wanting to comfort, and the next she was experiencing a sensual pull stronger than any she had ever known before. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

  “No, don’t start backpedaling. You made me a promise.” He was smiling again, and warmth melted the panic starting to rise within her. “And I’m holding you to it. We’ll leave for Santa Isabella tomorrow morning.”

  “Santa Isabella? I thought we were going to stay here.”

  He shook his head. “Santa Isbella is as much of a home as I’ve ever had. I want you to get to know it.” His lips twisted. “Besides, the atmosphere in Castellano right now isn’t conducive to relaxation and I want you mellow. Very mellow.” He tugged at a lock of her hair. “I want to hear you laugh again.” He bent quickly and placed a sun-warm kiss on her lips and then straightened. “That wasn’t so bad, was it? I’ll guarantee we’ll get better at it.” He took her hand again and they covered the remaining yards to the front door in silence.

  It was only when they were going up the stairs that he spoke again. “You’re barefoot. I didn’t notice on the patio.” He grinned. “Do you have a violent aversion to wearing shoes? Not that I object, you understand. You have very pretty feet and I like to look at them.”

  “I forgot about them. I saw you on the patio and—”

  “You wanted to help me,” he finished softly, his eyes very warm. “So you scurried to the rescue, bare feet and all.”

  There had been a moment on the patio when she would have walked barefoot on hot coals, if it could have taken away a portion of Gideon’s pain. “As I said, I’m new at having someone need me. I reacted without thinking.”

  “Instinct,” he said thoughtfully. “You came to me instinctively. Think about that tonight. You might learn something about yourself and about us, too,
perhaps. I believe in instinct.” They had reached the top of the stairs and he paused to look down at her. “Instinct made me know you belonged to me that night.” He touched her cheek with a fingertip. “Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning, love.”

  She hesitated. “Will you be all right?”

  He nodded, then smiled. “You could leave your door ajar in case I get ambushed. I like the idea of your being available to hold me like you did out there by the fountain.”

  “I don’t think you’ll need me. I’m not as experienced as you at shooting bushwhackers out of the saddle.” She turned away. “Goodnight.”

  She could feel his gaze on her back as she walked quickly down the hall and opened the door to her room. A moment later she was in bed, her head awhirl with a wild confusion of thoughts. Why had she committed herself? It was crazy. She was crazy. She had been swayed like a tree in the wind by sympathy, remembrance, and the sensuality he had evoked so effortlessly. She knew he’d had no intention of arousing her to this extent. He had just been himself, Gideon, and that had been enough. Even now, lying here in an emotional turmoil she was conscious of a nagging anxiety. Was he lying in his room across the hall unhappy and lonely again? Surely he had been joking about the possibility that he might need her to help him get through this time. Still, he hadn’t closed his door on her, when there had been a chance she might need him.

  She lay there for many minutes staring into the darkness, trying to make a decision. Then she abandoned all reasoning as totally useless. She had half known what she was going to do from the beginning anyway. Maybe Gideon was right, and following instincts was best.

  She slipped out of bed and ran across the room. She opened the door and left it ajar in unspoken welcome, a gesture of friendship and support. Then she ran back across the room, jumped into bed, and pulled up the covers. It was done, and she felt immeasurably better. She closed her eyes and was asleep a short time later.

  Gideon had left his own door open and was lying in bed, waiting. It was only a chance. It was really too soon for her to offer him that kind of trust, but maybe …

  Then he heard the soft click of Serena’s door opening and the slight rustle of the mattress as she returned to bed.

  Gideon smiled into the darkness, turned over on his side, and shut his eyes. There was still a faint smile on his lips when he, too, fell deeply asleep.

  “Somehow, I didn’t expect a coffee plantation,” Serena said as the driver of the limousine negotiated the gravel road leading to the large stone house on the top of the hill. “Ross said your largest hotel property was here on Santa Isabella and I guess I thought you’d live near your base of operations.”

  “I have a penthouse suite at the hotel and I stay there most of the time.” Gideon waved to a khaki-clad man in one of the fields bordering the road. The dark-skinned man waved back, a brilliant white smile lighting his face. “That’s Henry Delgado, my foreman. He runs the plantation for fifty percent of the profits, leaving me to be the gentleman farmer. It suits us both.” He leaned back on the blue velour seat and stretched out his legs. “I was going to sell off the land and just keep the house and a few surrounding acres, but that could have disrupted the lives of the farmers who live on the property. So Henry and I came to our agreement.”

  “How long have you had the plantation?”

  “Two years.”

  Her gaze flew back to his face.

  He nodded slowly. “I decided I’d better try to have a home ready for you,” he said softly. “The hotel is plush and modern, but it isn’t a home. The detective’s report said you preferred your lakeside cottage to an apartment in New York so I thought this would do as well.” His eyes twinkled. “I even made sure it had a lake on the property fed by a real waterfall. It’s completely private and I’ve ruled it out of bounds for anyone on the plantation. I’ll show it to you this afternoon, if you like.”

  “That would be very nice,” she murmured.

  He frowned. “Now you’ve got to stop freezing up on me when I mention things like that. I bought this house for us, and I’m not going to pretend anything else.”

  “I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine any man doing all this on the gamble that a woman he’d scarcely met might be the woman.”

  “You are the woman,” he said simply. “It was no gamble.”

  She shook her head. “You’re utterly impossible, do you know that?”

  He grinned. “It’s been mentioned a few times.”

  “I can imagine.”

  “You’ll get accustomed to me.” His voice lowered to a velvet softness. “I’ll give you every opportunity to further your knowledge in every way possible.”

  Serena felt the heat ignite in her veins like tiny licking flames and she quickly looked away from him. The sensual emphasis was clear, but not presented aggressively. There was no reason for her sudden breathlessness. Gideon managed to keep her constantly off guard. There had been no hint of sexuality in his manner either this morning at breakfast or on the short flight from Castellano to Santa Isbella. He had been charming, humorous, considerate, and almost avuncular. Yet now he was smiling at her with a sensuality that was as frank and bold as a red flag waving in the breeze. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

  He didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “I try to keep it down, but it slips out sometimes.” He grimaced. “I know my wanting you makes you uneasy. I had no idea the brother-protector image I built to make you feel safe that night long ago would be reinforced every time you thought of me for the next ten years.” His gaze slowly traveled over her from yellow silk blouse to white linen skirt, returning to linger on the thrust of her breasts against the silk of her blouse. He spoke very deliberately, in a tone too low for the driver to hear. “I’m still your protector, but not your brother. If I were your brother, my thoughts couldn’t be more incestuous. At the moment, I’d like nothing better than to unbutton your blouse and take your breasts in my hands. I want to taste every part of your body. I want my fingers on you, around you, and in you. Every time I look at you my stomach knots and I get so aroused I’m hurting. If I weren’t afraid you’d panic, I’d tell Ricardo to pull over and find a place in the bushes and do everything I’ve wanted to do to you for an eternity or so.” He drew a harsh breath. “Do we understand each other now?”

  She was staring at him, stunned by both the barrage of eroticism and its explosive effect on her. Heat was tingling in every vein, and her breasts, beneath his gaze, were swelling as if they were being stroked. She hurriedly glanced out the window. “Oh, yes, I understand.”

  She felt the warm solid weight of his hand on her knee and she inhaled sharply. She was trembling. She couldn’t think, but was having no trouble feeling. Every nerve in her body seemed aflame and her muscles were turning as insubstantial as water. She kept her eyes fixed blindly on the passing scene outside the window as his hand gently rubbed her knee and then slowly pushed her skirt higher to skillfully massage her inner thigh with gentle fingertips. “No stockings,” he murmured. “I thoroughly approve.”

  “It was hot.” The words were barely audible and her gaze clung desperately to the passing coffee fields. She should stop him, but she didn’t want to stop him. She wanted to sit here and let him touch her and be bathed in this sensual sorcery that was already bewitching her.

  “Heat can be a terrible thing.” He was widening her legs gently, and she suddenly felt terribly vulnerable. “It can rob you of breath.” His fingers trailed further up her thigh. “It can make your muscles knot.” His hand suddenly moved up to the apex of her thighs and settled there. She shuddered. She could feel the warm heaviness as if the scrap of material didn’t exist. “It can cause you to hurt.” He rubbed gently. “Can’t it, Serena?”

  He didn’t wait for an answer. His hand was suddenly gone and he was pulling down her skirt. “Remember, every time I look at you I’m feeling that same heat.” He added softly, “Just like you. You want me. Thank God for that.”

 
“I’m a woman and I have the usual responses,” Serena said. “You’re a very attractive man.”

  “You’re quibbling.” His voice was impatient. “Look at me, dammit.” His fingers were beneath her chin, forcing her to face him. “Now, tell me. You want me, right? Not just any attractive man. Me.”

  His gaze was holding her own with irresistible force. “Why should I—” She broke off and answered him honestly. “Yes.”

  He expelled his breath in a long sigh of relief. “Whew, you had me scared for a minute.”

  “You certainly didn’t show it,” she said tartly. “I feel as if I’ve been run over by a steamroller.”

  He chuckled and released her chin. “I guess I can be a little aggressive on occasion. Just shrug it off and tell me to go to hell. That’s what Ross does.”

  “Not very often, I bet.”

  “Now that I think about it, he hasn’t done it for a long time.”

  “I imagine he gets tired of being flattened.”

  For an instant Gideon appeared uncertain, then thoughtful. “I suppose I’ll have to see what I can do about that.”

  Serena threw back her head and laughed. “Here we go again.”

  His expression was indignant. “Why are you laughing?”

  “I can just see you plumping and pumping to unflatten Ross. I think he’d prefer you to let him stay flattened.”

  “The easy way isn’t always the best way and if Ross needs—” His lips quirked. “You think I’m too pushy?”

  “It has occurred to me.”

  “I’ll try to tone it down.” He added half beneath his breath, “On the unimportant things.”

  Serena chuckled and shook her head. “Hopeless.”

  The limousine had pulled up to the front porch of the two-story stone house and Gideon opened the door and got out. He helped her from the car and whispered in her ear, “Never. There’s no one more hopeful than I am.”

  A hot shiver chased down her spine and she looked away from him to the wide stone porch that fronted the house. “This house looks very old. When was it built?”