Door Posts

  Part of her feels the nervousness of being a servant in the master’s presence, and another part of her welcomes Judah being there. She has always found him quite tender and comforting, and lately, she has come to enjoy their playful and stimulating conversations.

  As Judah makes his way around the kitchen preparing his lunch, he says, “I will be joining them tomorrow, and then you and my father and mother will have the entire house to yourselves for a while.”

  “And Rebekah and Reuben,” adds Dinah.

  “Yes, and them, of course,” agrees Judah.

  When Judah sits down at the table, Dinah asks, “May I at least pour you a cup of tea, Master Judah?”

  “Yes, yes, please,” says Judah with a mouthful of food. “Thank you.”

  As Dinah pours his tea, she asks, “How are your war plans coming along?”

  Judah puts down his fork, looks at Dinah across from him and smiles, and says, “You certainly are no ordinary girl, Dinah. Are you sincerely interested in these things, or are you merely toying with me? There are not many people around me who seem to be as interested in these things as you are.”

  Dinah merely takes a sip of tea and looks back at Judah over the rim of the teacup.

  “Well, if you must know, that is where I have been for the last few days, and it is why I am late in joining the rest of the family down in Vienna,” says Judah. “My father and I and our partners met with a very interesting man. You seem to know everything. Have you ever heard of Mustafa Kemal?”

  Dinah shakes her head, no.

  “He is a Turk down in Anatolia, and he is a perfect ally for us,” continues Judah. “He is in the same position as us. His land is ungoverned as a result of the Great War, and his people are scattered all over without a homeland. We clearly have the same objective as him. We both want to gather our people. We both want to build our nations.”

  Judah takes a few more bites of food, and continues, “He is a brilliant militarist, and that was the piece missing from our team. My father and his business partners have the resources and are already setting up factory operations, but we desperately needed someone to help us with our military strategy. Kemal appears to be the perfect fit for that missing piece.”

  “What about the Germans?” asks Dinah.

  Judah looks puzzled.

  “Are the Germans not a threat?” asks Dinah.

  “I already told you that there are no Germans,” says Judah, chuckling. “Why do you insist they are involved in this?”

  “What about Adolf Hitler?” asks Dinah.

  “Who?” asks Judah.

  “Adolf Hitler and Mussolini,” clarifies Dinah.

  Judah laughs out loud, and says, “You certainly are a silly girl! What are you talking about? Mussolini is just an impotent fat little Italian rat, and the Germans are... well, I told you about them already. And besides, Dinah, that is all West. We are going East. I do not care in the slightest if they keep on fighting with each other over there. That could even continue to work to our advantage.

  “We are going home, Dinah. We are going East, back to our Land. Back to the Land of Israel. Back to Zion.”

  Judah takes a few more bites of his lunch and some sips of tea, and then says, “I do know of an Adolf Eichmann. He is a German. But his efforts are probably going to work right along with ours. He wants the Jews out of Germany as much as we do. And, he is already involved in the Land by supporting the Kibbutzim ground forces, the Haganah. Our army is already starting to form right there in the Land, Dinah. Believe me, it is all coming together perfectly. The Lord of Hosts is His name. And Zion will be ours.”

  “Who is the army fighting against? Who is there in the Land now?” asks Dinah.

  Judah smiles and finishes chewing, and says, “The British and the French are the other squirrels and blackbirds that are currently poking around in the Land, but neither of them seem to be at all interested in the nut.

  “Yes, Dinah, it is the Land of Promise, but it is a harsh land. And it is a land filled with conflict. It always has been and it always will be until we go in and set up Zion, which is the true and ultimate purpose of the Land. Zion is the final glorious place for the people of God. Zion is our destiny. Zion is the rest and the peace of Israel. We will praise His name and enjoy His presence as we are nestled and protected in His mighty arms. We will be comforted and fruitful in the Land which He swore to our Father Abraham -- a land flowing with milk and honey.”

  Judah’s charisma is intoxicating and infectious. Dinah feels herself getting completely swept away into his enthusiasm. He is obviously going to be a galvanizing leader of this movement, and although he might not quite see it yet, she sees it clearly.

  But suddenly, Daniel begins to see more World War II newsreels of Adolf Hitler. He sees the speeches and the marching armies and the people cheering and rallying around Hitler.

  Dinah blurts out, “What about the U.S.?”

  Judah looks at Dinah and takes a few moments to finish chewing and swallowing. Then he says, “Well, now you are being realistic. Yes, we have invested a great amount of discussion about a potential U.S. opposition to our plans. And honestly, we cannot begin to understand why they previously involved themselves in the Great War. There was nothing in it for them. It was not their land. Why they were willing to travel all the way over here is a mystery to us. But, we know one thing -- they will never be interested in the East. There is nothing there for them to concern themselves with, or to even remotely care about.”

  “They seem to care about human suffering,” says Dinah, quietly.

  Judah’s typically light and charismatic expression is quickly replaced by a darker, more serious look on his face, as he says, “I have said this over and over again -- we are going to take care of the people who are currently living there. We will bring prosperity with us. There will be a plenteous good life for everyone.”

  “What if they do not want anyone to take care of them?” asks Dinah. “What if they like things the way they are? What if they are happy... ”

  “Dinah!” interrupts Judah. Then he continues, calmly and deliberately, “Please listen to me carefully. I know you and I are different. I know about your childhood. I know you are more connected with the people. And, I know my experience is completely different. I grew up with everything I wanted. I grew up surrounded by love. I know these things, Dinah. Believe me, I do.”

  Dinah looks down at her tea.

  “Do you remember Pesach, Dinah?” asks Judah, softly. “I do not mean the one a few weeks ago, and I apologize if that brings back bad memories for you. But, I mean Pesach in general. I mean, all of the many times year after year, century after century that we, the Children of Israel, have celebrated it.

  Dinah nods her head.

  “Do you remember the four cups?” asks Judah.

  “Yes,” says Dinah.

  “Do you remember the four answers? The four ‘I wills’?” he continues.

  “Yes,” she says.

  “Well, as a matter of fact, there are two more after those four,” Judah continues. “God said, ‘I will’ two more times after those first four.”

  Dinah looks puzzled.

  “I suppose we stopped at four to prevent everyone from getting too drunk during Pesach,” smiles Judah. “But, please listen carefully to me, Dinah. In that very same conversation, God further said to Moses, ‘I will bring you into the land which I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I will give it to you for a possession. I am the Lord.’

  “He is Adonai, our God, Dinah. We are merely walking in His promises. His hand is upon us. He is setting the stage. We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. We are simply being led home to our proper pasture. We are going to enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise. We will be thankful unto Him and praise His name.”

  Judah sits back in his chair and thinks quietly about his vision for the future of Israel. Dinah stands up, clears the dishes from the table and begins to wa
sh them at the sink.

  Judah stands up and walks over next to her. He picks up a towel, dries the dishes and puts them away.

  Dinah giggles a little.

  “What?” asks Judah.

  “Nothing,” answers Dinah.

  “What?” insists Judah.

  “It is alright. I will fix it,” says Dinah.

  “What?” asks Judah again.

  “Dinah puts her hands on her hips and, imitating Rebekah, says, “There is a place for everything and everything in its place.”

  Judah laughs, and says, “You do that very well. Have you been practicing?”

  Dinah giggles.

  As Judah picks up a piece of sweetcake and sits back down at the table, he says, “It certainly is quiet around here.” Then he looks over at Dinah, and adds, “I do so enjoy our conversations, Dinah. You are quite easy to talk to, and at the same time, you have so many interesting observations to make. You are quite a girl. We are fortunate to have you in our home.”

  Dinah busies herself putting the dishes away in their proper storage places.

  “You remind me a lot of Deborah when she was younger,” continues Judah. “You are similar to the way she was when we first met. She was much like you. She had a spark in those lovely green eyes that would light up a room. She was full of life and full of dreams.”

  Dinah is not aware of it, but she doubtfully raises her eyebrows.

  Unfortunately, Judah sees that expression on her face, and says, “I know. It probably is difficult for you to believe that.”

  “No... no, not at all... ” says Dinah, embarrassed.

  “I am not as stupid as I look, Dinah,” interrupts Judah. “But, do not worry. I am aware of how she treats you. I know how you all feel about her.”

  Dinah looks away, but what she wants to do is look at Judah. She detects the sound of a hurt little boy in his voice, and all she wants to do is look into his warm brown eyes and comfort him.

  “Sadly, she has grown to be quite a contentious woman,” says Judah. “I do not mean for that to sound critical because she certainly is a loving mother to our children, as you know, and a good wife to me. But, something has happened to her. She is striving after the wind and frustrated because she cannot contain it.”

  Dinah turns slightly toward Judah, and says, “Are you saying that you are going to move up onto to the roof?”

  Judah looks puzzled for a moment and then laughs out loud.

  Dinah joins in and begins to laugh, also.

  “Dinah, oh Dinah... you are certainly a sly one,” laughs Judah. “I am definitely going to have to keep my eye on you. You certainly can be as smart as a whip.

  “Thank you for that. I needed a good laugh. Yes, indeed... thank you very much for that one. Hoo... that one certainly made my day.”

  Judah looks at Dinah, and says, “Yes, yes... I am definitely going to have to move up onto the roof. Ha, ha, yes, that is a good one.”

  + - + - + - +

  In those dreamy moments between asleep and awake, Sarah hears Daniel come into the living room. She does wake up when he sets the water glass down on the coffee table, but she doesn’t move. She keeps her eyes closed and pretends to still be asleep. She loves it when Daniel runs his fingers through her hair. Her body tingles as she thinks about the day when they would finally have sex. They had both agreed together they were going to wait for each other until their wedding night. But times like this make it difficult to wait. Daniel’s tenderly touching fingertips on her face make her want more and more.

  She is not afraid. She yearns for him. She wants him. She opens her eyes and looks up into Daniel’s loving face. She reaches up, cups her hand behind his neck and slowly and lovingly pulls him toward her. They kiss. She loves him so much.

  Daniel moves in closer to Sarah and presses his chest against hers. Their two hearts are beating in unison. They kiss again.

  She is gone by now, abandoned in the moment. She has never before felt such a powerful and overwhelming physical feeling. It feels as though every cell in her body is doing a happy dance.

  More and more skin is revealed, and more and more skin is tenderly caressed. Oneness is on its way. They will no longer be two. Now they are one being celebrating with itself. It is strong. It is passionate. It is life at its core. It is release. It is freedom. It is ecstasy.

  The empty hole in Dinah’s soul is filled. She finally feels whole. She finally feels protected. She finally feels loved. The weight of Judah’s heavily breathing body on top of her feels like an overwhelming blanket of comfort, and she gladly receives the full weight of his body pressing her into the mattress. But, rather than a crushing feeling, she embraces it more like a shield against the loneliness that has plagued her during her entire life. She feels perfect peace and contentment. They are breathing as one. They are one body. They are Adam and Eve, one, together in the Garden.

  + - + - + - +

  It is well beyond Shavuot, the Feast of Weeks. The Barshevet house is back to normal and the warm summer months have rolled in. Judah and Solomon are rarely at home. Their campaign has begun and they are at rally after rally delivering the message of Zion. Jews from all over Europe are uniting. Resources are pouring in and momentum is increasing daily.

  By the time the Fall Feasts arrive, it becomes clear that Dinah is going to be experiencing a harvest of her own. She is going to reap the fruit of a seed that was sown in her at Pesach.

  Everyone around her is kind, but the development in her womb is definitely not embraced the way pregnancy normally is in a Jewish family. There is too much pain associated with it, and too many memories of the horrific event. There is also entirely too much confusion about bringing a foreigner into the house. The thought of a Gentile growing inside of Dinah is too much for them to process. Yes, they are kind, but now they rarely look Dinah in the eyes anymore. It is too painful and confusing for them.

  Judah does catch her glance once when he and Solomon are home for the feasts. But that is about all it is, just a glance across the table at one of the many festival meals.

  There is too much activity going on now. There are too many people coming and going, and there is entirely too much talking -- talking, talking and more talking.

  Dinah just wants a moment with Judah. She just wants another intimate conversation at the kitchen table. She wants to laugh with him. She wants to tease him. She wants to see that little boy in him again. But, she knows she may never have that opportunity again. That one glance across the table may be the last time she sees him, in person.

  She does see him again and again in the newsreels. And whenever she does, everyone else around her seems to disappear. There he stands, at the lectern, with Solomon seated proudly behind him, and thousands cheering in front of him. Dinah knows she is the only person in the world who can see that frightened little-boy look in his face. She sees it, right there in the newsreels. It is inescapable. Right there between the sweeping oratory statements, it suddenly and briefly flashes across his face. She knows he wants to be somewhere else. She knows he would possibly rather be sitting at the kitchen table, talking and laughing with her.

  Dinah also knows she and Judah are the only people on earth who know it is entirely possible that he is the one who planted the seed that is growing inside her womb.

  + - + - + - +

  Daniel has never experienced such excruciating pain. He is absolutely certain the bottom half of his body is being ripped away from him. As the pain starts to subside and he feels himself drifting into unconsciousness, he hears someone say, “Mazeltov, Dinah! Zeh ha’yeled.”

  Dinah opens her eyes and sees the doctor smiling down at her. She looks over and sees the nurse carrying her baby boy away to get him cleaned up. ‘A boy,’ she thinks. ‘I have a baby boy.’

  The delivery went smoothly, without complications. Another nurse is cleaning up the area between her legs following the delivery of her afterbirth. Then she is transferred to a recovery room.

  A short
while later, they bring Dinah’s baby into the room and lay him in a bassinette across the room from her bed.

  In 1940s Aleppo, Syria, Arabs are being herded into concentration camps. Men and women and boys and girls of all ages are being pushed around and beaten and severely mistreated. Soldiers are forcing them out of their homes and herding them into train cars.

  After a while, the doctor enters the room and smiles at Dinah. He is followed by a rather official-looking man who is talking to the doctor and making notes on several pieces of paper that are fastened to a clipboard. The man keeps looking over at Dinah and asking questions of the doctor. He listens to the doctor’s answers and then makes several detailed notes on his forms. Dinah can hear them talking, but she cannot quite understand what they are saying.

  The man finally closes the lid to the clipboard and nods to the doctor. He shakes his hand and leaves the room. The doctor looks once more over at Dinah, gives her a half smile and then follows the man out the door.

  Arab people are being lined up and shot in the streets. Hundreds of lifeless bodies are being dumped into mass graves.

  After a few moments, the baby stirs slightly and starts to whimper. Maternal instincts and moist breasts spur Dinah to sit up and get out of bed. She walks over and looks into the bassinette. The boy is absolutely beautiful. He is perfect -- a beautiful baby boy with milky white skin, large dark eyes and dark curly hair.

  Dinah feels the desire to nurse him, so she reaches over, picks up a hospital baby blanket and puts it on her shoulder. The baby looks up at her lovingly as she reaches down to pick him up.

  But Dinah is shocked and dismayed when her hands pass right through him. She cannot move him. She cannot touch him. Her whole being is aching to touch her baby boy, but her hands pass right through him as she tries to touch his soft little round cheeks.

  It is happening again. ‘No, no, no... not now, no... ’ thinks Daniel and he starts to weep. ‘I want to stay. I want to hold him. Just once. Can I hold him just once?’

  But then the room begins to sound hollow and Daniel’s body starts to tingle all over. He looks around and sees that most of the room appears to be frozen in time, and that now the only evidence of life is coming from the other side of the recovery room doorway. Daniel looks down at his child one more time. He is still aching deep inside to pick him up and hold him.

  But he knows all too well that this particular part of his crazy adventure through time has come to an end. He walks slowly over to the door and looks through the doorway. Everything on the other side of the door looks bizarre and all out of proportion. Everything is too large, like the fun house at a carnival. But it is definitely not fun at all. Daniel hears people crying and wailing, and it is dark and dusty inside.

  Daniel walks over, leans forward and peers through the doorway to get a better look. Suddenly, he is snatched up by the back of his shirt, lifted high up in the air and thrown across the room onto a pile of frightened children.

  + - + - + - +

  “Why does she sit there like that? Day after day after day, she simply sits out there gazing off into the gardens.” Deborah turned away from looking out the kitchen window at Dinah, and continued, “When will she allow herself to get beyond it?”

  Judah sat at the kitchen table and stared at his cup of tea. He watched the rhythmic ripples on the surface of the liquid that were being caused by the pulse in his fingertips as they were firmly clasped around the edge of the teacup. It was as though his heart was sending him a message in Morse code.

  Without a single move, Judah quietly said, “Would you not mourn the loss of one of our children?”

  “One of our children, yes,” Deborah quickly answered. “But certainly not the loss of one of those dogs.”

  Judah stiffened and quickly placed both hands flat on the surface of the table. He looked at Deborah sternly, and sharply spoke her name, “Deborah!”

  It took a few moments of silence under Judah’s stern glare for Deborah to realize that those foul words actually came out of her own mouth. She put her hand up to her mouth and touched her lips with two fingers as though she were trying to push back the venom that had just dripped across them.

  Judah’s face softened, as he said, “What happened to you, Deborah?” Then he looked back down at his tea and sighed, and said, “What happened to us?”

  Deborah slowly walked over and sat down next to Judah, and put her hands on his. Judah looked up at her face and was pleasantly surprised to see the sparkle had somewhat returned to her beautiful green eyes.

  He knew he could not say it, but he dreamed he could take Deborah into his arms and run away from it all. He wished he were a different man. He wished he were a farmer or a fisherman. All he wanted was to be outdoors. He wanted life to be simple. He wanted to run away. He wanted to run away with Deborah.

  Then Judah turned and looked out the kitchen window. Deborah cocked her head and was puzzled by the look of longing on Judah’s face. Maybe all he desperately wanted was to run away with Dinah.

  + - + - + - +

  When the United States entered the war and more people became aware of the atrocities being committed against Arabs at the hands of both Mustafa Kemal and Judah Barshevet, those who were running the Barshevet home in Krakow came under severe abuse by the people in the surrounding city.

  Jews in general were being viewed as savage monsters, and even though the household staff had nothing to do with the war, they were regularly yelled at in the streets or had things thrown at them when they were walking between the Barshevet mansion and the Jewish District.

  It did not take long before the entire Jewish District became empty. All of the Jews were driven out because people could not help but take out their anger and frustration on the ‘Zionists’ who were raping the Middle East.

  British troops finally took over the Barshevet mansion in Krakow. All of the servants were put in military prison for their own protection from the people in the city. Once again, Dinah found herself yanked out of her home and deposited into another orphanage, of sorts. Once again, she was cut off from the only family she had.

  For their own safety, all of the Barshevet family servants were advised to move to other areas via military transport. The British troops did not want them to be hunted down and killed because of their relationship to the madman who was terrorizing the world with his torturous death camps and fierce insatiable hunger for the Land of Israel.

  + - + - + - +

  By the time the war was over, it looked like the epitome of a haunted house... probably because that is what it actually was -- haunted by the memories of murder and torture and the most extreme human suffering imaginable. As Dinah walked past it every day, she felt as though she may be the only person alive who remembered what the house was like before Judah Barshevet became one of the world’s greatest villains against humanity.

  When the British forces came in and took it over, and put her and the rest of the servants into the prison camp, she knew it was coming. She knew they would not allow any semblance of goodness or kindness in Judah to continue to exist. He was a murderer, an animal -- evil incarnate. He was a heinous vicious tyrannical madman. How could he have ever been anything else? How is it possible he loved his children? How is it possible he honored his parents? Or that he was kind to his servants, or maybe even loved one of them... and saved her and made her feel protected and secure and whole?

  The people of the city took great joy in throwing rocks at it. Every window was broken and the entire front surface of the home looked like the face of an old man scarred since adolescence from a severe case of acne. If it were not for the surrounding barbed wire fence, the entire house would have surely been pulled apart and ripped to pieces, board by board.

  The people of Krakow would have also ripped The Barshevet household servants to pieces if they had access to them, but the military prison had temporarily served to protect them.

  Now Dinah was the only one left in the city. The rest had all fle
d in an attempt to find anonymous lives elsewhere.

  But no one dared to touch Dinah. They knew she was also one of them -- a victim of cruelty at the hands of evil men. Even though it happened many years ago, it was well known what she had endured. She had suffered enough, and she had the horrible scar on her belly to prove it.

  As she looked at the empty dark shell that once housed her joy, Dinah contemplated the fact that she was probably the only person alive who ever saw that lost young boy in Judah’s face. The rest of the world saw a madman. She saw the lost boy -- the boy who simply wanted to be home... with his family... with her.

  That is why she stayed in Krakow. There were too many strong memories treasured up in her heart. She remembered her beloved friend, Tamara, not her trauma and death, but the good fond memories of her that far outweighed that single senseless act of terror. To her, that part was easily erased by the laughter and the feelings of sisterhood, and the joy that twinkled through Tamara’s lovely green eyes.

  She remembered the Barshevet family and how well they had treated her. And, she remembered Rebekah and Reuben and all of the rest of the servants. They were as close as family gets. She remembered Judah -- the real Judah. She remembered the talks and the laughter and the kindred spirit they had shared. And she remembered the one early morning moment when they were one -- when she was whole -- and when she became two.

  She knew her boy was out there somewhere. She felt an aliveness in her -- an assurance that his light was still on. She felt it the day he was born, and it had never ceased since then. He was out there somewhere. He would be close to twelve years old now. He was almost a Son of the Covenant. He was almost a man.

  Dinah worked in the Garment District, and lived alone in a simple rented apartment of her own. The rest of the people in town were at least kind, but she knew she was a pariah to them -- a member of the Barshevet household, a tainted woman, damaged goods. To Gentiles she was a murderous Jew, and to Jews she was a half-breed, a Samaritan, a dog.

  But, she knew the truth. She alone. And, she felt no one else deserved to know. It was a private matter. It was her own little treasured secret that no one could take away from her. She cherished the way it lifted her above the sneers and the cold shoulders. She was at peace in herself. She was content. She saw herself as a dove in the midst of the deluge. She merely wanted everyone to look at her flying overhead, and then know that the time had come and it was safe to come out.