Endurance

  Of course they want her. Everyone wants her.

  Including me.

  The brothers desire Ellison for her outward beauty, as I once did, but they don’t see what’s beneath her surface. They don’t know her kind heart. Her strength. Her humor.

  Ellison is foreign to them. Fresh. New. Intriguing.

  She’s a door, slightly ajar—far more intriguing than an open one.

  She’s a strong whisky in a dainty coffee cup that reads Fuck off.

  She’s an angel with a hint of devil.

  I wear her invisible bite marks all over my flesh where she’s marked her territory. I am hers. She owns me—heart, body, and soul.

  Leith doesn’t understand that he’s pouring salt into my wound. “I don’t want to hear this shite.”

  “I had no idea you had claimed Ellison or I would have immediately put a stop to all the talk going around about your lass.”

  “I haven’t claimed her.” It pains me to say those words aloud.

  Leith looks at me with narrowed eyes. “But you’re going to, aye?”

  “I want to.”

  “That wasn’t an affirmative.”

  I shouldn’t have to explain this to Leith. “She’s going to need extra protection I’m not sure I can give her.”

  “You’re fucking her although you might not claim her. You know the risk that goes along with that. Does she understand that you’ll ruin her? That none of the brothers will be willing to take her as a mate if they know you’re ramming your cock up in her?”

  “Watch it, Leith.” The only reason my fist isn’t meeting his face is because he’s my best mate but I won’t tolerate another comment like that one.

  “What is it, Jamie? Don’t like hearing crude remarks about your lass? Newsflash. That’s the least of what the brothers will say about her if anyone outside our circle of friends finds out you’ve had her.”

  I haven’t told Sin about the incident with Logan. It happened right before Bleu went into the hospital. It felt wrong—and trivial—to bring it up while she was so ill.

  But it’s time to come clean. “There could already be reason for concern. It happened when Logan came to the infirmary for stitching.”

  “That was days ago. You’ve not mentioned it.”

  “Bleu has been top priority the last couple of days.”

  “With everything going on the last couple days, I can understand why you wouldn’t have said anything about it until now. What happened?”

  I recall the rush of anger-jealousy-possessiveness when I stormed into the house and saw him on the bed with Ellison standing between his legs tending his wound. It was a collection of emotions I’d never experienced at the same time. I hated the fusion of insecurity and mistrust happening inside me in that moment. I hated wondering if she liked being close to him. Touching him.

  “Logan was there when I arrived. It pissed me off, and I’m certain he could tell.”

  Sin looks amused. “That doesn’t mean he knows.”

  Ellison and I are like fire and gasoline. Magnet and steel. Earth and gravity. “The pull between Ellison and me has been building for almost a year. We went from hiding our feelings to full-on fucking like there’s no tomorrow. We live in the same house and share a connection that’s incredibly natural and strong and comfortable. It’s second nature to speak to her as though she’s my mate. Logan picked up on our close relationship and called me out on it when Ellison was out of the room.”

  “And your response was?”

  “I admitted nothing.” I pause a moment before continuing. “But I also denied nothing. And I purposely smirked when he asked if I was fucking her. I wanted him to suspect so he’d back off of Ellison.”

  “Fuck, Jamie.” Sin growls. “If you don’t claim Ellison, you’ve fixed it so no other brother will either. Was that your plan when you came to me about the infirmary?”

  I can’t believe Sin thinks I would do something like that. Although, perhaps I have given him just cause in this situation. “Absolutely not. It would kill me to see the woman I love with another man but I want the best for her. I never intended for Ellison being branded fuck-worthy to keep a brother from marrying her.”

  Sin closes his eyes and rubs his lids. “Her only hope for a good match at this point would be if Logan has kept this to himself. He isn’t one for stirring trouble. It’s possible he hasn’t said anything.”

  “I let my jealousy control my actions. It was foolish. I admit that.”

  “I haven’t heard any talk floating around the bar about this. I think Logan has kept quiet so far.” If anything were going around, the whisky bar would be the first place you’d hear about it. Tongues become loose in this place.

  “We need to keep it that way, so your job is to fix this with Logan. Immediately.”

  I hate the thought of telling him there’s nothing between Ellison and me. It’ll only fuel his drive to claim her. But I have to do what’s best for Ellison’s future. If I have to eat crow to make this right for her then I will.

  “I’ll take care of it tonight.”

  “Why take care of this shite at all? You’ve already admitted you love her so why not claim Ellison as your mate? She’s becoming one of us and needs a husband anyway so go on and marry her, for fuck’s sake.”

  I guess that does sound easier to Leith, but like always, he hasn’t considered the consequences. He never does, and that’s why he’s in the mess he’s in with Lorna. “Think about it, Leith. She’s our leader’s sister-in-law. What does that make her?”

  “Your cousin’s wife’s sister.”

  “No, you smart-arse. She’s a target for The Order—a huge one they’d love to get their hands on. I’m a doctor. What good am I for protection if they decide to come for her while I’m out on a call that can’t be handled at the infirmary? She suffers because of me. She dies because of me. I don’t choose that for her.”

  “Who is this pussy and what has he done with Jamie Breckenridge—a badass motherfucker who isn’t afraid of some Order members?”

  “I love Ellison and I’ll hand her over to a brother who can protect her better than I can if that’s in the best interest of her staying alive. If you think that makes me a pussy, then fuck you. My decision isn’t the easy way out. You have no idea what kind of hell I’m going through.”

  “The hell I don’t. The Order came on my turf and tried to take Lorna. Do you remember what I did? This whisky bar owner killed two of the three fuckers in here and then went after the third one that escaped. I did it. Me. Not a Fellowship foot soldier. Not a gunner or guerrilla. Not some guard assigned to watch over Lorna. I protected her. When they came back and tried again, who took a bullet to keep them from getting her? Me. I don’t want to hear a word about how you can’t take care of Ellison. That’s shite.”

  Everything Leith just said is true. He has saved Lorna on two separate occasions. And Greer once. The Order didn’t get their hands on them because of him—a whisky bar owner. Not a fighter.

  “Well that adds a shite load of confusion to what I’m already feeling.”

  “Don’t count yourself out because you’re a doctor instead of a soldier.”

  Leith has made some valid points worthy of thought. “You’ve given me new considerations to take into account.”

  “I know all too well what it’s like to not get the girl. I don’t want that for you, mate.”

  Greer comes to our table and rubs her hands over Leith’s shoulders in an overtly friendly manner. “Looks like we need another round here.”

  I could definitely use another drink. “Stat.”

  “No worries. You know I’ve got the trio covered.” Greer squeezes Leith’s shoulder and leans down so her mouth is against his ear. “Just a whisky for you, boss?”

  “Aye.”

  “O . . . kay then.”

  Greer’s aggressive behavior makes me question the sincerity of Leith’s love for Lorna. “Are you still shagging her?”

  “Not since
the day everything went down with Lorna.” That was almost a year ago.

  The interaction I just witnessed didn’t look like that of two people who are no longer intimate. “She’s rubbing your shoulders like you just bent her over the desk in your office and gave her a good reaming.”

  “Swear to God I haven’t touched her.” Leith looks at Greer fetching our drinks at the bar and then back at us. “I think I may have to let her go. She won’t take no for an answer.”

  Sin chuckles. “Leith Duncan is going to fire a barmaid because she wants to fuck. That’s a new one.”

  Leith lowers his head. “I’m pretty sure Lorna knows I used to shag Greer.”

  “Of course Lorna knows. You paraded Greer in and out of your office in Lorna’s face.” I actually applaud how Sin shows no mercy as he reminds Leith of what he did to hurt Lorna.

  Leith groans as he leans back in his chair and presses his palms against the sides of his head. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything I did to her.”

  “Bleu mentioned something a few days ago. You still employ Greer, the woman you used to fuck in your office while Lorna took over her workload. Think about what kind of message that sends.”

  Leith closes his eyes. “Shite. That’s bad.”

  “I’ve heard you say a thousand times you want Lorna back as your head barmaid. Do you really think she’s going to come back as long as Greer is here? But let’s pretend she caves and returns to her old position. How many times would she watch Greer rub on you before she told you to fuck off?”

  “Greer has to go. I can’t let her be the catalyst that drives Lorna further away.”

  “I rarely see Lorna since she left the bar.” It’s like she fell off the face of the earth. “What is she doing now?”

  “Hating me.”

  “Lorna hates what you did to her. Not you. Big difference.”

  “I hate you, you son of a bitch. That sort of leads me to believe she could.”

  I’ve seen the love Lorna has for Leith. It’s powerful but she is a stubborn, headstrong lass. She wears her pain like stilettos, only allowing you to see the beauty while she hides the pain.

  “Lorna only said that because she was embarrassed. You yanked her off stage in front of a crowded audience of brothers.”

  Leith asked Sin and me to go to the strip club with him that night in case anything went down. The fight he and Lorna had afterwards was bad. Very bad.

  Leith pounds his chest with his hands. “What she should have been embarrassed about was her tits hanging out for all the brothers to see.”

  “She wasn’t topless.” Yet.

  “She was untying the string when I got up there. She was about to show her tits to every brother in the audience.”

  Why can’t Lorna see that she was hurting herself as much as she was hurting Leith? “You stopped her. She didn’t show them anything they wouldn’t see if she were at the beach wearing a bikini.”

  Leith sits back in his chair, shaking his head. “She’s still so damn angry. I know I fucked up but how long is she going to punish me? It’s been almost a year.”

  “I don’t know, mate.” I’ve been told women have long memories.

  “I love the fuck out of her. I just want to take her in my arms and tell her how sorry I am, but she won’t even let me do that. She refuses to listen to anything I have to say.”

  There’s always been a storm brewing with Leith and Lorna. I saw it coming when the three of us were fucking her. It’s why I stopped. I didn’t want to be there when the shite went down.

  Sin was somewhat of a selfish bastard back then so he was completely oblivious to what was happening between Leith and Lorna. I should have said something. I should have warned him to stop before it was too late. But I was silent because I didn’t want to rock the boat. I will always regret that decision. What we did with Lorna will always hang over our heads.

  Sin and Leith healed their relationship after Bleu insisted they talk about their troubles. But I’ve never had that conversation with Leith. I’ve never asked him to forgive me. I’ve never asked him to put my past with Lorna behind us.

  And I haven’t told Ellison what I did with one of her best friends. Granted, it happened before I knew her but it isn’t pretty. I don’t know what she’ll think about it.

  “You need to show Lorna you don’t see her as a whore. Romance her.”

  “Hard to romance someone who won’t give you the time of day.”

  “I’m sure women like romance, but Ellison told me that she wants an alpha who takes what he wants and is unapologetic about it. A man in control. Maybe it’s time you stopped giving Lorna the option of ignoring you.”

  “My wife is tough but she likes being dominated when it comes to sex.” Sin shrugs. “Jamie could be onto something here. Maybe you don’t give her the option of not listening.”

  “Oh, looky here. It’s the motherfucking titty police.”

  Neil and Ross. I hate those fuckers. Always getting drunk here at Duncan’s and mouthing off about some nonsense.

  “Titty Police. What’s that supposed to mean?” Leith asks the question but we all know what Neil is referring to.

  “It means I looked at Lorna’s tits through her pub uniform the entire time she worked for you, and I was finally going to get to see them bare. Maybe even get a handful of them for the right kind of tip, but you fucked it up for me.”

  Oh, shite. That was the wrong thing to say to Leith.

  “You, motherfucker.” Leith springs up from his chair, flipping it backward on to the floor, as he lunges at Neil with a clenched hand ready to take a swing. Leith’s fist makes contact with the center of Neil’s face. I instantly recognize the broken nose before the blood gushes or the moaning begins. You just don’t go around starting fights with someone who’s been boxing for as long as us. Dumb fucker.

  Sin and I get up from the table to move away from the brawl going down and Ross charges, knocking me to the floor and landing on top of me. Oh, fuck no. Shite’s not going down like this.

  I flip us over so I’m on top and punch the bastard three good times before I feel a sharp pain to my right bicep. And then I see the blood. The motherfucker knifed me. I grab his wrist and slam it against the floor, freeing the blade from his hand, before I get to my feet and kick the shite out of him.

  I hear Sin’s commanding voice over my shoulder. I hate when he uses that tone on me. “Stop, Jamie. We need Ross to fight in the takeover. He won’t be able to do that if you maim or kill him.”

  I get one last kick in on Ross. “Arsehole can go to the emergency room. I’m not treating the fucker who knifed me for no good reason. Don’t care if he’s drunk or not.”

  “There’ll be no emergency room for these two tonight. They get to visit Sangster for penance first.” Sin motions for two handlers to come forward and carry Neil and Ross away.

  Those have to be the two dumbest fuckers in The Fellowship. I’m ashamed to call them brothers.

  I take my arm out of my sleeve and examine the cut on my bicep. “Who takes care of the doctor? We didn’t think that one through very well, did we?”

  “You have a nurse who can stitch that.”

  “Not in her scope of practice.”

  “It is tonight.”

  Sin takes his phone from his pocket. “I’ll tell Ellison to meet us at the infirmary.”

  Sin grins at Leith before he phones Ellison. “Lorna’s at my house right now. She might come too if you were injured while defending her honor. She might even offer a little gratitude.”

  Leith takes his knife from his back pocket and cuts a gash across the top of his lower arm. “Will this need stitches?”

  Leith holds out his arm for me to assess. “A few.”

  “Maybe her leader should request her presence so she can hold my hand for support since I fought valiantly to defend her honor.”

  “Done.”

  The front door of the infirmary opens after we pull into the drive. Leith has a clear v
iew of Lorna standing in the doorway . . . waiting for him.

  “She came. I almost can’t believe my eyes.” Leith is unmoving after I turn off the engine. “I’m nervous. I haven’t seen her since the strip club.”

  “What are you going to say to her?”

  “No idea.”

  “It’s going to take Ellison a while to stitch me up. I’m going to have her do you first. I figure you’ll be out of here in thirty minutes or less. You might want to ask Lorna for a ride home and use that time alone to take control and make her hear what you have to say.”

  “I think I have to if there’s any hope for us.”

  Ellison rushes to me as we approach the house and inspects the blood-soaked towel around my arm. “Doc, you’re supposed to treat patients. Not become one.”

  “I assure you this was no fault of my own.”

  “What happened?”

  “We were minding our own business when Rutherford came by our table and mouthed off about Lorna. Leith jumped him. Sin and I were moving away from the table when Underwood charged me. No idea why. Was showing him what years of boxing with Leith and Sin had taught me. Guessing he knew he was getting his arse kicked so he knifed me.”

  Ellison puts her hands on each side of my face. “Still think you’re not a fighter?”

  She kisses my mouth before I have a chance to reply. “Let’s get you inside so I can have a better look at these wounds under the exam light.”

  Ellison sends Leith and Lorna to trauma one and follows me into trauma two. “I’m sure you’re aware I’ve never sutured before.”

  “I’m sure you’re aware I don’t care. Besides, I already know you can do it because you’re talented.”

  “Flattery will get you everywhere, Doc.”

  “Does that include me getting in your pants? ’Cause that’s where I really want to be.” This surge of adrenaline needs an outlet.

  “We’ll see.”

  I crawl onto the bed, lying on my side with my injured arm up for Ellison to examine. “Oh, Jamie. That’s a long gash. And deep.”

  “That’s why I want you to stitch Leith first. He needs two or three tiny sutures and then he can be on his way.” I grin. “It’ll give you a chance to practice your skills before you work on me.”