Shattering Zoella's Demons

  The audience laughed and Nora clapped. “I’d love to be in a tour bus with you guys.”

  “I’m not too sure,” Tevin answered. “We hate to break it to you folks but guys living in a bus alone for a lengthy period of time…” Shaking his head, “You’d be running away from us.”

  Nora chuckled. “I think it would be fun. Do you get into fights?”

  “Many times,” Ron said solemnly, “especially when Mick decides to eat burgers loaded with onions.”

  “That is unnecessary, Jasper,” Mick said reaching over to lock Ron’s head in an arm lock, he rubbed the top of Ron’s head vigorously. “This happens a lot too in the bus.”

  The applause was deafening and Nora had to raise her hand up to gain attention again.

  “You guys are going to perform for us today. I would like to talk about your music before that. You’ve been going for eight years now. Has the band grown in the direction you imagined it would when you started?”

  “I can say—, and I think the rest of the guys agree—, the four albums that we’ve worked on are a form of growth ladder we’ve taken. Each album has gotten us at a different time in our lives. We’ve explored and changed a lot of things through the process. Most times we also learned new things about ourselves. All in all, I do think with the experiences we’ve had, the place Haden is in right now is right,” Robbie said.

  “Which was the hardest album to do?” Nora asked.

  Tevin answered the question, “Dark Angel.”

  Tevin knew exactly how Robbie felt about Haden’s second album. It had come at a very difficult time.

  “Your second album, it came after the death of Haden’s fifth member, Ryan Jacques,” Nora said in understanding.

  “Yes. It was a trying time for all of us; Dark Angel was a labor of love,” Tevin said.

  The entire band agreed and Robbie turned just then and caught Zoella’s gaze. His own filled with sorrow and haunting memories; the sight of it staggered Zoe for a moment. She was surprised by the raw emotion she saw there. But it lasted only a moment.

  The next minute, she wasn’t sure whether she blinked, and all she could see in those hard green eyes was stark dislike. The kind that left you frozen inside as it did her stomach at that moment. He hated her, and she didn’t understand why.

  ****

  Chapter Fourteen

  “I’ll be in the car,” Zoe said to Kelly the moment she was out of the studio. She started for the exit, Tony her bodyguard close behind her.

  “What’s wrong?” Kelly demanded, matching Zoe’s footsteps.

  “Nothing, I just want to get out of here. Next time, will you check who’s on a show with me? It’s important to know these things.” Zoe snapped bringing Kelly to a stop right before the exit.

  Closing her eyes on yet another apology she needed to make to Kelly, Zoe rushed for the stairwell.

  “Leave me alone a bit Tony, I’ll be fine,” she said as she pulled the door open.

  Grabbing the rail as she went down the stairs, she breathed out hard. It didn’t matter what they thought of her. She didn’t care.

  God, she paused, doubling over. A shaky hand clutching the railing, she closed her eyes. Why did it matter? Why did that look of disgust get to her? He didn’t matter. He was no one to her.

  You belong to me….no one else.

  The words whispered so quietly in her head paralyzed her. She’d been unable to keep them out today. She didn’t need the reminder that she was psychotic. Looking up and down the stair well to make sure she was alone, Zoe leaned on the wall and allowed herself a moment of weakness. Head in her hands, she sighed and wished she was stronger.

  How she wished she could call Kenny. He would know what to say to take this panic that was rising away. It wasn’t easy feeling as though she was teetering on the edge of madness. She was feeling out of control. A door opened and she gasped, straightening quickly, she took in a deep breath and started down the stairs again.

  “Wait,” Robbie McClaire said above her and she turned to seem him coming toward her. “I want to talk to you.”

  “I don’t,” Zoe said, not stopping at all.

  She couldn’t handle another encounter with him. The last one had left her drunk and knee deep in self pity.

  “Do you always act this way?” Robbie asked catching up with her. He moved in front of her, stopping her from taking the next flight of stairs. “You have time for every one but me.”

  “Who do you think you are that you deserve time from me?” Zoe asked slapping at the hands that had moved to hold on to her.

  “The person who can destroy your career,” Robbie said. “We should become friends you know.”

  Robbie narrowed his green eyes as he took in her astonished expression.

  “Destroy?” She scoffed. “Well, you certainly have a large ego. Get out of my way.”

  “You’re forgetting something,” Robbie said blocking her way. “I’m the one who has the scoop. First hand information about a certain affair you’re having with a married man.”

  “What?”

  This was too much, Zoe thought. Did he actually think that she and Kenny were—?

  “Get out of my way or am going to scream bloody murder, culo.”

  “So prickly,” Robbie sighed. “Well, okay, but remember I’m around. I’m watching you. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my best friend’s marriage out of trouble.”

  “Fuck off,” Zoe said not believing what she was hearing.

  The urge to laugh and cry at the same time was so overwhelming that it gave her strength to push past Robbie and stumble down the stairs.

  There had been many bizarre instances in her life, but this one certainly topped them. Robbie McClaire was a mad man.

  ****

  “Where have you been?” Tevin asked Robbie when he finally appeared in the lobby, “Gloria almost had the security looking for you.”

  Robbie shrugged and murmured, “No where really.”

  ****

  In the security room at the Aussy Television Station, the security officer reran the tape he’d pulled out from the stairwell camera.

  Was this actual luck or what?

  He was about to hit the jackpot.

  Who would have thought that Robbie McClaire and the conservative Zoella Mya were having an affair?

  He watched as Zoella pushed passed Robbie and the security guard grinned. It didn’t matter that there was no audio. The fact remained that any tabloid magazine would buy this for a hefty price.

  ****

  That evening, Robbie prowled his hotel room, unable to settle down. Tevin, Ron and Mick had gone out to a club opening. He hadn’t been feeling up to it. His bodyguards were in the lounge room watching soccer. There was a huge game on, and it would usually have interested him but not tonight.

  It was only eight o’clock, and he was wandering the penthouse in restless motion.

  Turning on the television in his bedroom, Robbie wondered why he was feeling this way. He didn’t feel like mindless sex with another faceless woman. Though if he wanted, it could be arranged. He’d tried to tune his head into music, but all he could think about was a raven haired minx with the most enticing dimples he’d ever seen.

  She was beautiful, talented, lord was she talented. He’d heard her music. Zoella Mya was a force to be reckoned with. It pained him to know that she was a tart to go with it.

  What did she find in Kenny anyway?

  They had such different backgrounds; he doubted Zoella and Kenny could have a decent conversation.

  Damn it! He was not going to think about this.

  Surfing the channels, a sly thought slipped into his head.

  They didn’t need to converse. Squelching the image of Zoella and Kenny locked in passionate embrace; Robbie could only sneer when a commercial advertising Zoella Mya in concert at the Silver Amphitheater came on.

  ‘Experience a magical world
with fantastic music that will seduce you into a beautiful dream.’

  Her promotion team was excellent; he thought grudgingly, they certainly spared no quarter advertising her.

  Half an hour later, he stood at the balcony in the Silver Amphitheater staring at the magnificent stage done in passionate reds and burgundies. The woman seated on a stool, a cello between her legs, flowing red skirts around her as she played the instrument could only be described as a siren. She was beyond beauty. She seemed unreal in that moment.

  The orchestra behind her enhanced her music, though she remained the focus. The tones of the cello echoed in the theatre with a thrill. Drawing and enticing the audience making them want more. Nothing seemed to matter as his gaze remained transfixed on the woman on stage.

  It was like looking into a dream. An imagination of what seduction in its purest form would look like. This woman was so intense, so deep and utterly sensual, the music flowed right out of her onto the cello and the process moved her so much, she couldn’t contain it. It was passion and it pulled him in.

  When the concert was over, she stood up and bowed gracefully, the lights dimmed and he was jerked back into reality. It didn’t make sense why he was here. Not even when he sneaked in back stage and went in search of her dressing room.

  While he waited for her, he tried to remind himself that Zoella Mya was Kenny’s mistress. He had no business being here.

  “I’m just appreciating her music,” he told himself.

  Yeah right, Robbie sighed.

  He was certifiable. He was a grown man with a brain. It really didn’t matter what she was and to whom. He could be mature about this. He would talk to her, have a fuck, get her out of his system, and then he’d leave. What was so hard about that?

  He was about to start prowling around the room when the door slammed open and she stumbled in as though someone was chasing her.

  Zoella closed the door just as fast and leaned on it, taking deep breaths to calm down. When she opened her eyes and saw him, she almost screamed and had to visibly stop the action by pressing her hands to her mouth. Her eyes so wide he felt guilty for startling her.

  “I’m sorry,” he said gently. “I didn’t mean to scare you like that. Are you alright?”

  Forcing air into her lungs, Zoe fought for control. The need to scream overwhelmed her to a point she couldn’t keep it controlled.

  Why was Robbie in here? Who’d let this man into her sanctuary?

  She was going to lose it. Closing her eyes, she leaned over, fighting now for control.

  “What’s happened?” Robbie asked rushing to her. She looked so distressed.

  His movement panicked Zoe more than she could ever explain to him. She practically bit her lip to suppress the automatic scream that crept up on her.

  “Zoella,” Robbie said.

  She put out her hand to keep him away. The soft tone of his voice soothed her a bit, something that surprised her.

  “It’s nothing.” She managed, straightening up slowly. The nausea that had been rising subsided and she opened her eyes.

  He looked too good, was the first thought that crossed her mind. The scene at the stairwell that morning came in second and she found he was the last person she wanted to see.

  He actually thought—, in that gorgeous head of his—, that she was sleeping with Kenny. If he didn’t make her so angry this would be incredibly funny, she thought.

  “Get out,” she said, taking a step forward and reaching for the door handle behind her.

  “Can we talk?” Robbie asked his green eyes full of concern.

  Whatever it was she was going through, he was not about to leave her alone. She looked peaked.

  “About earlier—,” he started.

  “I have nothing to say,” Zoe said pulling the door open. She motioned for him to leave. “I don’t need your accusations. Twice is enough.”

  “Accusations,” Robbie frowned. “You can’t be denying the facts, can you? I saw you with Kenny at his wedding, you know. You can’t deny it.”

  “I have no time for eavesdroppers,” Zoe snapped wondering why she was cursed with lunatics. “I’m going to scream for security. Leave me alone, Mr. McClaire. I don’t have to take this from you.”

  Angry at her denial to the obvious, Robbie shook his head and moved toward the door. He didn’t need to cause a scandal in Sydney but giving this woman a sound beating on her butt made it almost worth it.

  “Why are you so annoying?” Robbie demanded stopping where she stood. She kept her gaze fixed straight ahead, which pissed him off even more.

  “It’s just an affair,” he said with a hiss. “If you want it so badly, why don’t you just ask me?”

  “Va’al diavolo,” she spat at him, the venom in her voice had him stepping out of the dressing room. He gasped when she slammed the door on his face.

  Rushing to the vanity table by the right wall, Zoe picked up her hand bag and rummaged in it for her pills. Dumping everything on the table, she grabbed the bottle of medicine that rolled out. She was trying to open it when the shaking started. Biting her lip, she concentrated on the lid and finally her trembling fingers managed to snap it open.

  Unfortunately, the pills spilled on the table in her haste. A sob escaped as she picked one up and tossed it into her mouth.

  No use for water, she was so used to the pills, the bitterness was welcome. It helped numb the fear growing inside her. The fear that stayed with her, never dissipating, only increasing in size, she thought.

  Closing her eyes, she controlled her spiraling senses and let out a small breathe. Opening her eyes, she stared at her face in the mirror and wondered when she would ever get over this.

  During an interview backstage a minute ago, she’d thought she’d seen someone. A dark figure that always made her feel so paralyzed she could die. When she’d finally gathered her strength, she’d hurried to her dressing room, only to find Robbie McClaire waiting for her. That had surprised her more than she’d ever imagined possible.

  On top of her crazy thoughts, dealing with senseless accusations she didn’t deserve was the last thing she needed. Letting out a sigh, she ran a hand through her hair.

  She was tired of this, so tired. She wanted to walk on the street and not be afraid. She wanted to have a normal life. She wanted—

  She wanted---Ah!

  Letting out another short breath, she quickly got to work picking up the pills.

  A soft knock on her door had her stiffening in worry a minute later. When Kelly peeped in, Zoe sighed in relief. Stepping into the room, Kelly asked, “What happened?”

  “I feel like the day has been one whole attack. What is security for anyway? Robbie McClaire was in my dressing room a minute ago. He scared the hell out of me,” Zoe said putting the last of the pills in the bottle.

  Capping it, she dumped the bottle in her handbag and turned to stare at her manager.

  “Where have you two met before,” Kelly asked, her eyes sharp, not missing the tension that crept in to Zoe’s eyes at the question.

  A moment of silence passed before Zoe said, “At Kenny’s wedding. You should also know that he thinks I’m having a wild affair with Kenny. Isn’t that stupid? How does a person come up with such a ridiculous conclusion?”

  “Beats me,” Kelly shook her head. “Were you two hanging on each other like you usually do in the real world?”

  “I was on my best behavior.” Zoe protested. “Considering that I should be mourning that particular unfortunate occasion, I don’t know. I completely held back,” Zoe said heatedly, remembering a conversation in the drawing room. She still hadn’t called Kenny; she wasn’t going to either, not yet anyway.

  “It doesn’t matter now. Just—, can you please tighten security for me? I don’t want to find people in my dressing room.”

  “You got it,” Kelly said, making a mental note to strip one from the head of security. Nothing
was supposed to move around unnoticed backstage, not even a bloody rock star.

  “Hey,” Kelly said when Zoe started repacking her handbag.

  “What?”

  “It’s going to be okay,” Kelly promised. “How about I get you to your hotel room and get you a huge strawberry sundae.”

  “Add a bottle of Merlot and it’s a deal,” Zoe said.

  “A glass and we have a deal,” Kelly countered aware of what happened when Zoe got drunk. Besides, she’d noticed the pills. Adding any sort of alcohol however mild was not an option. “Get your things together and I’ll meet you at the side entrance.”

  *****

  Two days later, Robbie woke up when Tevin dropped a newspaper over his face. They were still in Sydney and Robbie had spent the night partying and drinking with Mick and Ron. Groaning at the light assaulting his eyes, he stared at the newspaper for a moment before his gaze found Tevin.

  “What’s this?”

  “Page two,” Tevin said sitting in the armchair beside the bed. He watched Robbie grab the paper and turn on the bed carelessly. The sheet slipped lower over his naked body.

  “Long night,” Tevin asked.

  “Don’t remember,” Robbie answered flipping the newspaper to the page Tevin wanted him to read. He almost bolted out of bed when he saw the pictures of Zoella Mya and himself.

  “What the fuck is this?”

  “I was hoping you knew,” Tevin said, lazily sipping his coffee from a mug he’d brought along. “The Zoella Mya camp has been calling Gloria for the past three hours. It seems as though they don’t sleep there.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Eight in the morning and Gloria wants solid answers.”

  “I’m not reading this. It’s all bullshit there is nothing going on.”

  Robbie threw the paper on the floor. He’d spent the past two days trying to forget frightened large dark eyes. He didn’t want to care about Zoella. He didn’t want to know what would cause such torture in her eyes.

  “I didn’t think you’d read it.” Tevin grinned. “There’s a video running on every television channel showing you and Zoella talking in a stairwell. I assume it’s the ‘nothing’ you were doing at the Aussy Television Show. They’re calling it a lover’s spat.”

  “Have a laugh, why don’t you,” Robbie said when Tevin snickered. “I can’t go a day without an incident even when am avoiding one.”