Shattering Zoella's Demons

  “Do you know that Gloria had as scheduled for a grueling Europe tour two weeks from now?” Mick said then. “She’s out of her mind if she thinks we’ll miss the wedding. Why does she do things like that?”

  “She forgot there was a wedding,” Tevin said. “Imagine what Zoe would say to that, those two don’t exactly see eye to eye on things.”

  “It would be world war three,” Mick laughed. “Hey Robbie; you are starting to look like the world is ending. Cheer up a bit.”

  “I don’t get how a woman can disappear a week from her wedding,” Robbie said then. “May be she’s getting second thoughts.”

  “Now you’re over thinking things,” Ron said with a laugh. “Zoe loves you so much, it’s disgusting. I don’t ever doubt that. It’s very difficult to be around you two.”

  “Is Gloria coming to the wedding?” Mick mused, “Coz that will be a sight to see. I can’t wait. She’s usually so uptight.”

  “She will, just because it’s an occasion she didn’t plan.” Tevin laughed. “Look Robbie, I keep telling you to stop panicking. I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation for all of this alright. Zoe is our girl. You know she’s always got your back. So, let’s think about the studio for now. The songs we’ve written on tour have a good sound.”

  *****

  “I have heard from her, but I can’t tell you where she is, Kenny,” Thaddeus said. He was seated behind his desk in his office. Holding his wife’s gaze he continued. “You know how that goes right.”

  “This is strange.” Kenny puzzled. “Why didn’t she call me if something was wrong? She always calls. She hasn’t said anything to me. I’m worried.”

  “Kenny, she is about to be a bride. They get wedding jitters, maybe that’s it,” Thaddeus said twirling a pen, in truth he was hoping that was the problem.

  Although he doubted it, Zoe was not the type to rethink a decision like marriage. No, she seemed upset about something bigger than that.

  He didn’t like it.

  “Look, I’m at the airport getting Robbie. I’ll bring him up to speed, but tell her this isn’t right. Robbie is losing his mind with worry. She can at least call him. He is her fiancé.”

  “Sure.” Thaddeus promised. “Kenny, stop worrying.”

  “I’ll try,” Kenny said and rang off.

  Replacing the handset on the desk, Thaddeus cursed under his breath and looked at Athena.

  “She’s not making this easy. She could have called Kenny. Why hasn’t she done it?”

  “I told you to make her talk,” Athena said with a shake of her head. Standing up, she paced the length of his large glass desk. Her peach sundress moving with her, the soft material of her skirt whispering sexily. Her long strawberry blond hair fell down her back richly.

  She was beautiful, Thaddeus thought.

  “It will come out,” he said, “eventually. Let’s not push her. The girl is no longer sixteen. She’s a woman. Besides, the fear I saw in her eyes makes me want to keep her for good. I was sure that fear had disappeared.”

  “But to leave Robbie hanging like this,” Athena shook her head. “That’s not right. Their wedding is in a week. She’s not being practical.”

  “McClaire can handle it.” Thaddeus declared, getting up from his seat. Moving around his desk, he came to intercept her by wrapping an arm around her waist. “Stop worrying, you’re like Kenny. Enjoy it for a while; we have both our children back in the house. Let it be.”

  “Are you sure?” Athena asked clinging to him, and the strength he seemed to always have. “I can’t help the worry, you know. Zoe can be so fragile.”

  “I’m sure it will pass, my love,” Thaddeus said, pressing a kiss on top of her head. “Now, what do you say, you show me that new shipment of instruments you said has arrived.”

  “I suspect you want to run off with the acquisition officer coz you think she’s gorgeous,” Athena teased leaning back to look into his eyes.

  “She’s very sexy and her smile,” he touched his heart, “she can stop wars. I’ll have to introduce her to you soon.”

  “You rogue,” Athena laughed, pulling away to pick up her purse. “Let’s go.”

  “Oh lets,” Thaddeus said, opening his office door for her.

  ******

  Kenny stood by the limousine at the Heathrow airport and watched as the Red Records private Learjet taxed in. He wasn’t looking forward to talking to Robbie. He’d spent the entire week trying to get Zoe to call him. He’d even gone to their penthouse and searched for clues, but all he’d found was that Zoe had packed clothes to last her weeks. Zoe had left to disappear for a while.

  It was a disturbing fact.

  Before she’d met Robbie, she’d pulled constant disappearing acts. He’d hated it because it worried him when she went off to places unknown. It had also meant she was getting away from her life and the problems it had.

  But in the three years she’d spent with Robbie, there had been no disappearances.

  What was worrying her so much, he wondered, maybe the wedding.

  Marriage was a big step. Given Zoe’s past, she would have to be panicking a bit. Maybe she was preparing to tell Robbie about her past. In which case, the worry niggling at him was for nothing. He’d known Robbie since childhood, the guy would understand.

  Zoe had nothing to fear.

  He wished he could tell Robbie about her past, but Zoe had made him promise never to tell. Even Jessica didn’t know much.

  God, he wished he knew why Zoe was hiding. If only to make things easier, even after all these years, the past still haunted him. And he couldn’t help worrying about what Zoe would do if things got too much to handle.

  A frown creased his forehead at that thought, it didn’t make sense for Thaddeus to sound so calm and collected if Zoe was in a bad place. Not that Thaddeus would ever tell him anything if he’d sworn it to Zoe. The man was so protective of Zoe.

  Ron and Mick came out first, grinning at him when they saw him.

  “What’s up mate?” they both said coming down the steps to hug him. Their boisterous nature was infectious and Kenny found himself grinning.

  “What brings you to the airport, Mr. Williams? No more buildings to build?” Mick asked crossing his arms against his chest.

  Mick looked like a bloody pirate, Kenny mused taking in the rakish brown hair that seemed to be standing on edge. There were rings on his lip, eyebrow, his ears were lined with them. Dressed in a black t-shirt with a peace sign on the front and black jeans with a chain hanging on his left hip, converse sketchers on his feet, Mick was every bit the skater boy.

  “It would be a tragedy if there were no more buildings to build. Rest assured I’m here for different reasons.”

  Ron laughed. “I see your wife is keeping you clean cut. You look like you should be in the bloody House of Lords, such aristocratic attire, my lord.”

  Kenny grinned harder at the teasing. These two could spend the entire day picking at him. Turning his attention to Ron, he met laughing brown eyes. Ron had dirty blond hair which was held back in a pony tail. His smooth face and handsome smile made him look like the artsy type. His easy going personality made him the clear headed one in the band.

  “You’ll find Ron that women can hardly resist me when I look this way.”

  “Ah yes,” Ron nodded. “I’m sure the ice queen melts when you get close. How is the uppity Mrs. Williams?”

  In a tiff, Kenny thought, the cold war had set in the town house. “In need of charm, my friend, would you like to come along?”

  Ron shivered. “Lord no. Your wife is too much for me.”

  Mick chuckled and Kenny flushed them a smile, his gaze moving to the steps where Tevin and Robbie were. As he met green determined eyes, his mood sobered and he remembered why he was here.

  His best friend was going to need a lot of support, Kenny thought.

  Robbie McClaire was Haden’
s poster boy. His presence lay in his large personality and those looks. When they’d been young, girls had often teased McClaire for his disturbingly beautiful face. Now, years later, those girls chased after him for that same face, made more potent by time. It sold billion copies of music per year.

  “Where is she?” Robbie demanded when they were standing abreast of each other. “Don’t sugar-coat it.”

  “With Thaddeus, in a place I don’t know,” Kenny answered. He’d not intended to lie. It was best this way. It would be difficult enough as time moved on. Something told him the much anticipated wedding was going to be cancelled.

  “What are they thinking?” Robbie scoffed. “What is she thinking?”

  “She packed a bag,” Kenny said. “She even left her bodyguard, and took public transport. I can’t read this one.”

  “What is Thaddeus saying?” Tevin demanded, making Kenny’s gaze move to him.

  Tevin Whittaker was a fair version of Robbie. Haden fans called them the dynamic duo. Where Robbie was dark and dangerous, Tevin was blond and enigmatic. He had blue eyes that could be as cold as ice and a temper that simmered quietly. The best thing about Tevin was that he regulated Robbie’s hard approach to things. Kenny was thankful of that because Robbie would be pretty explosive right now, instead of this contained picture of calm.

  “He says its wedding jitters,” Kenny answered with a shrug. “He’s not worried.”

  “What do I need to do to get the right reaction out of him?” Robbie cursed under his breath. “I know him; he’s never really liked me. He can be so difficult.”

  “How did she sound when you talked last?” Kenny asked with a frown.

  “Fine,” Robbie said on a sigh, and then he frowned. “No, she sounded off. I told her to get some rest coz she sounded tired. And before she rang off, I thought I heard her cry.”

  Kenny closed his eyes in worry. Breathing out his frustration, he said, “Look, why don’t I drop you home. We can figure this out together.”

  “Yes, please.” Robbie agreed turning to his band mates. “I’ll call you guys. We should be in Greece Friday, you know for the wedding rehearsal and all.”

  “Sure,” Ron said squeezing Robbie’s shoulder. “Get some rest also, we can meet up later for a drink, right?”

  Robbie nodded.

  “I’ll be around if you need anything,” Mick said giving him a hug.

  “Yeah,” Tevin said. “Call me when you find her.”

  *****

  “I’ve been away too long. She’s been lonely, maybe that’s it,” Robbie said when they were in the back of the limousine. “It can seem like a dream, you know when we’re so far apart.”

  The comment made Kenny look at Robbie in a different light. It was easy to say one understood Zoe from listening to her music and hearing her talk about it with such passion it felt like you knew everything about her. But that part of her was just the surface. It was armor.

  Inside the armor, Zoe was vulnerable and easily hurt. She’d been lonely before Robbie. Robbie had healed that to some extent. Kenny was glad to know that Robbie understood that.

  They rode the elevator in silence each of them occupied with thoughts about Zoe. The doors opened on the tenth floor and Robbie led the way to the white double doors.

  There was no music, Robbie thought as he opened the door.

  Whenever Zoe was home, the place was filled with a maze of activity, music playing in the background. Standing in the foyer, he stared in surprise at the pristine sight of the penthouse, never had he seen the place so perfect.

  In the living room, which was visible from the foyer, the couches were bereft of throw blankets and music sheets strewn on the coffee table with pencils. Coffee mugs would usually be found on unusual spots like the shelf next to the large windows, or the one by the fireplace. It was a habit he’d tried to break but Zoe was impossible to change. She did it absent mindedly and when she couldn’t find the mug, she simply got another.

  “Why would she do this?” Robbie wondered out loud, his gaze fixed on the grand piano that stood next to the large windows.

  Maria appeared then. She looked mournful, and came to hug him tight.

  “Oh, Master Robbie, I’m so glad you’re home. I’ve been worried for the little miss.”

  “Hello Maria.” Robbie soothed, rubbing her back. “Don’t worry, she’s alright.”

  “I should have stayed with her. Maybe it would have been different,” Maria said, pulling back, tears welled in her eyes.

  “Maria it will be alright,” Robbie said gently, he loved the older woman. She was like a mother to them. “You know pixie. She’s nuts. She’ll be back soon.”

  “Yes,” Kenny seconded also moving to squeeze Maria’s shoulder. “We’ll find her.”

  “Alright, but keep me informed.” Maria insisted, wiping her eyes with her apron.

  “Yes, of course.” Robbie agreed watching her go off to the kitchen. Turning to Kenny he said, “Let’s go to my study.”

  The study room was tucked in the first floor of the pent house. It was decorated in warm masculine browns, the furniture was leather and the desk rose wood. Robbie liked to sit in here when he had to deal with accountants and estate managers.

  Right now, he needed to figure out why Zoe would disappear on him. Ushering Kenny in, he closed the door.

  “Be straight with me, Kenny,” Robbie said moving to the bar area to pour them drinks. “Is there something about Zoe I should know?”

  The question made Kenny pause in the middle of the room. Letting out a sigh, he said, “Why are you asking?”

  “I feel like I’m missing something. She was alright one minute, and then now she’s gone. I remember you bitching about her disappearances before. Why is it back?”

  “I’d like to know myself,” Kenny said accepting a glass of scotch from Robbie before he took his seat. “She’s probably just nervous about the wedding, Robbie.”

  “Why?” Robbie wondered, placing his drink on the desk untouched. “She knows how much I love her.”

  “Marriage is a complete entity separate from love,” Kenny answered. “Believe me, I know.”

  “Your problems with your wife hardly apply to us,” Robbie stated with a shake of his head. “What is Aunt Athena saying?”

  “She’s not worried,” Kenny said. “She’s going on with the wedding arrangements. I hardly think that’s cause for alarm.”

  Robbie nodded and sat.

  Kenny hated that he was deceiving his best friend about Zoe’s past. He had a feeling she was probably panicking about that. That would be the only reason why Thaddeus would keep her in Athens, which meant what was going on was very serious.

  “Kenny, why is there such a rift between Zoe and her mum?” Robbie asked suddenly.

  “That should come from Zoe not me,” Kenny said. “I told you when you two started dating that I won’t interfere. If I told you that story, I would be interfering.”

  “Damn it, Kenny, make an exception. The last thing she said was that she would try talking to Jessica. I can’t stand the animosity they have between her, Jessica and their mother. Zoe’s usually in terrible shape after talking to her sister. Aren’t you tired of it?”

  “Don’t think I’m not.” Kenny snapped with a raised brow. “Stop trying to pick a fight with me.”

  “I can’t help it,” Robbie said. “I’m worried.”

  Actually, Robbie admitted to himself, he was afraid. A fear that he’d never experienced before. One that stemmed from the fact that he loved Zoe so much; it would kill him to lose her. He’d given her everything he had. His heart was with her.

  ****

  Chapter Six

  The sun was shining bright outside but one could have never guessed. Heavy curtains cast the room in darkness, making it seem like a sick room. But none of that seemed to bother its lone occupant.

  Lying on the rumpled king size bed, in old
pajamas, Zoe simply stared at the ceiling, her thoughts centered on Robbie and what she was going to do about him.

  He was in London now, she thought. He’d be angry about her not calling, or answering her phone. She missed him so much. It hurt to know that despite the love she had for him, she would never be able to be with him.

  She couldn’t have him, not if she was to protect him from her past.

  Rolling on to her side, her thoughts lingered on the letter that was now hidden in the back of her closet. Its mere existence induced fear that paralyzed her. She knew that that man shouldn’t be let out. But, someone else would have to do the fighting because she wasn’t strong enough.

  It couldn’t be her.

  She couldn’t face him.

  She couldn’t face Steve Harden.

  She knew that as sure as she was that she’d take the next breath.

  How could she stand in the same room with him? Nausea rose and she sat up to control it. Gripping her stomach as though that would still the rambling inside, she stared at the cell phone on her bedside table.

  She was going to call Robbie. Or maybe it would be better to do it face to face. She hated that it was necessary, but he wouldn’t give up unless she figured out a way to break his heart. Truly and deeply break his trust in her to the point that he wouldn’t want to be with her.

  Zoe rubbed her eyes. Good God, there was only one way to do that. She reached for her cell phone and turned it on.

  Punching in a number from memory, she waited while it rang.

  “Pronto.”

  “Franco, it’s me,” she said in Italian.

  “Signorina, come esta bella,” Franco said in excitement.

  “I’m fine, Franco. I need a favor.”

  “I know you very well,” Franco said in heavily accented English.

  Zoe couldn’t help but agree with his words. She’d spent a lot of her time with Franco when she’d been living in Greece. The man was a rock.

  “Are you in trouble?” he asked.

  Zoe hesitated. “You could say that. Will you help me?”

  “You never have to ask that,” Franco chided. “I assume you are keeping it from Signore Thaddeus?”

  “For now,” Zoe said with a sigh. “I’ll meet you at the Heathrow airport.”